The shock of it stole my breath, but then it came back in a slow, comforting exhale, and I braced my hands on the windowsill, letting the cold consume me.
“I know about you and Reese.”
His words should have shocked me, should have crippled me with guilt and sorrow, but they only elicited a snarky laugh that had never left my lips before in my entire life. I shook my head where it hung between my shoulders, fingers still curled around the white wood of our window sill.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes.”
And what does it matter?
That’s what I wanted to ask, but I simply leaned against the corner of the window, letting the frame take my weight.
“Well, then I guess there’s really nothing more to say. If you know about him, then you know what happens next.”
Cameron was still sitting at the foot of the bed, the only change in his stance being that he’d shifted so he was looking at me instead of the pillows where I’d sat before. He was calm and collected, seemingly unfazed by the fact that his wife had slept with another man.
“Enlighten me,” he challenged.
I stared at my hands, folding them over one another in my lap. “It’s over, Cameron. I’m done. I’m done with the pain, with being ignored, with this sham of a relationship we call marriage.” I shook my head, finally feeling the sinking in my gut again.
Admitting that we’d failed was the hardest part.
“I love him,” I whispered, sealing our fate, and I closed my eyes hard with the admission.
“No, you don’t.”
I frowned, opening my eyes again and finally looking at Cameron. It bothered me how calm he was, how sure he seemed.
“You don’t love him,” he repeated, his gaze hard. “You love the idea of him, the idea of what he used to be to you, and of what he never was.”
If I wasn’t clenching my jaw so hard, it would have been on the floor.
“You don’t know anything,” I spat, standing straight again. A black fog crept into the edges of my vision but I ignored it, floating on the adrenaline set loose by his words. “You haven’t known anything about me since we lost the boys. You haven’t even cared to know.”
“I was trying to give you space and let you heal, Charlie.”
“I DIDN’T NEED SPACE,” I screamed, flying toward him. I stopped just a few feet away as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. My hand flew to my chest, fisting over my heart as my face twisted with the emotion I couldn’t hold back anymore. “I needed you.”
He flinched at that, his face finally falling from the stoic expression he’d worn since he walked in the room. His eyes fell to the floor and I shook my head, turning my back on him again. A rush of cold air from the window shocked a loud breath from my chest, and I swiped at the tears I’d let escape.
“I know,” he said after a moment, voice low. “I realize that now, and I’m sorry. But I’m your husband, and you’re my wife. You love me, Charlie. Not him.”
I choked out something between a laugh and a sob, spinning on my heels to face him. “I’m leaving you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Are you deaf?” I asked, incredulous. “I’m leaving you, Cameron. I’m done. It’s over. I want a divorce.”
“Two months,” he said loudly, his voice booming over mine as I said the dreaded d-word. His eyes snapped to mine, the crease between his brows deep and serious.
“What?”
“That’s how long he’s been back in your life, right?” he probed, jaw clenched. “That’s how long it took you to realize that you love him, that you don’t want to be my wife anymore, that you want to turn your back on everything we’ve built, on everything we’ve been through, to be with him?”
I just stared at him, mouth open to fight back, but I didn’t have words.
“The least you can do is give me a fair playing field,” he continued, and he straightened his shoulders with his next request. “Give me two months.”
I scoffed, pacing the room, my eyes flicking from the cage to the window to him and back again. “You’re kidding, right? There’s nothing you can do, Cameron. You’ve had the past five years,” I reminded him. “Five years since we lost our sons. Five years since you turned your back on me and left me alone in this marriage. What could you possibly do to change my mind now?”
“Two months, Charlie.”
A scream ripped from my throat, and I grabbed the open door of the bird cage, throwing it to the floor in a thunderous crash. I dragged my hands through my hair once it was at my feet, squeezing my eyes shut as more tears broke free.
“I just don’t understand,” I cried. “Nothing makes sense. Why now? Why did it take losing me for you to care?”
My hands fell to my side, exasperated, and I met his eyes with my own. Emotion tore through me like a razor blade to a healing wound, and I didn’t bother fighting against the tears anymore as I begged my husband for mercy.
“You waited too long,” I croaked. “And now, it’s too late. You don’t even love me, Cameron. You haven’t for years. You know you don’t love me anymore. Why can’t you let me go?” I choked on another sob, shaking my head as my vision blurred. “Please, please, just let me go.”
I broke in the middle of our bedroom.
My shoulders caved, knees giving out next, and I reached blindly for our bedpost to keep me standing upright as I succumbed to the flood of emotions soaring through me.
Guilt.
Desperation.
Pain.
Sorrow.
Loss.
All of it swirled inside me like the deadliest tornado, and all I wanted was to escape it. To escape him.
“Come here.”
Cameron’s voice was low, and in my peripheral, I saw his hand outstretched toward where I stood.
“Please, come here and let me hold you.”
“No.”
“Just…” He sighed, hand falling to the bed before he held it up again, this time curling his fingers. “Come here.”
I shook my head, annoyed that he wouldn’t just leave me be as I gave in to his ridiculous request. I didn’t understand why he wanted to hold me, why he wanted to comfort me only now that he’d lost me.
But when my hand slipped into his, he tightened his grip, pulling me gently until I was in his lap. He framed my face with one hand as the other wrapped around me, pulling me flush against him, and his eyes searched mine.
And I saw him.
In that brief, lightning flash of a moment, I saw the man I’d married.
I saw lazy afternoons on the beach during our honeymoon, and laughter shared over candlelit dinners, and comfort in the form of hugs after long, hard days. He brushed my cheek with his thumb, wiping away a tear, and I couldn’t fight against the urge to melt into him.
I collapsed in his arms as he pulled me in closer, one arm pulling my legs up until I was cradled in his lap like a child. He rocked me, soothing me with his hands over my hair, my arms, my back as his lips pressed against my forehead. He didn’t kiss me, though — he just let his lips rest against the warm skin as a sigh left his chest.
“Two months,” he whispered, still rocking me, and a new wave of tears broke loose at the sound of his voice so close to my ears. “That’s all I’m asking. Two months to prove to you that the vows I made to you still hold true, and that it’s me you’re meant to be with — not him. Please,” he begged, and emotion robbed his next words as his own tears met mine.
I hadn’t ever seen him cry. Ever.
Not even when we lost the boys.
He was quiet a moment, battling against his emotion’s betrayal of the calmness he’d tried so hard to contain. When he finally found his voice again, it was quiet and raw. “Please. Just give me a chance.”
I swallowed, closing my eyes as I leaned into his warm chest.
“Two months?” I asked.
“Two months.”
Reese flashed into my mind, but he was erased in an inst
ant with a gentle sweep of Cameron’s hand over my lower back. My husband was asking me for a chance to keep me, for a chance to fight for our love. Was he too late? Maybe. Did I think he could change my mind? If I was being honest with myself, no.
But I owed him the chance to try.
They say there are two sides to every story, and it was in that moment, in that dark, desperate snapshot of my life that I realized I hadn’t asked him for his.
So, I opened my eyes again, leaning back in his arms until our eyes connected, and I offered the only word I could.
“Okay.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Read What He Always Knew, the epic finale in the What He Doesn’t Know Duet, here:
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I know, I know — YOU HAVE TO WAIT. You have two whole weeks until book 2 is live in this duet (if you're reading on release day of book 1). BUT, there is good news. Claire Contreras just released an angsty duet, too — and both books are LIVE right now! So, while you wait, grab this emotional duet and cure that angst craving. Trust me, you'll love it!
Grab book one here and start the journey (FREE with Kindle Unlimited).
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Weightless
Young Natalie finds self-love and romance with her personal trainer, along with a slew of secrets that tie them together in ways she never thought possible.
Revelry
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The Palm South University Serial
Written like your favorite drama television show, PSU has been called “a mix of Greek meets Gossip Girl with a dash of Friends.” Follow six college students as they maneuver the heartbreaks and triumphs of love, life, and friendship.
PSU Season 1
PSU Season 2
PSU Season 3
The Chaser Series
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She made a bet that she could stop chasing military men, which seemed easy — until her knight in shining armor and latest client at work showed up in Army ACUs.
Song Chaser
Tanner and Kellee are perfect for each other. They frequent the same bars, love the same music, and have the same desire to rip each other’s clothes off. Only problem? Tanner is still in love with his best friend.
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A bachelor party gone wrong and a “meet the parents” nightmare. Two short stories bringing you more shenanigans from the characters you fell in love with in Tag Chaser and Song Chaser.
Kandi Steiner is a bestselling author and whiskey connoisseur living in Tampa, FL. Best known for writing “emotional rollercoaster” stories, she loves bringing flawed characters to life and writing about real, raw romance — in all its forms. No two Kandi Steiner books are the same, and if you’re a lover of angsty, emotional, and inspirational reads, she’s your gal.
An alumna of the University of Central Florida, Kandi graduated with a double major in Creative Writing and Advertising/PR with a minor in Women’s Studies. She started writing back in the 4th grade after reading the first Harry Potter installment. In 6th grade, she wrote and edited her own newspaper and distributed to her classmates. Eventually, the principal caught on and the newspaper was quickly halted, though Kandi tried fighting for her “freedom of press.” She took particular interest in writing romance after college, as she has always been a die hard hopeless romantic, and likes to highlight all the challenges of love as well as the triumphs.
When Kandi isn’t writing, you can find her reading books of all kinds, talking with her extremely vocal cat, and spending time with her friends and family. She enjoys live music, traveling, anything heavy in carbs, beach days, movie marathons, craft beer and sweet wine — not necessarily in that order.
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Kandi Steiner may be coming to a city near you! Check out her “events” tab to see all the signings she’s attending in the near future:
➜ www.kandisteiner.com/events
What He Doesn't Know (What He Doesn't Know Duet Book 1) Page 25