Leah nodded. "It would."
"This trail here's my favorite."
"Mine too."
"And some new trees can be planted here."
"Good idea."
"And here."
Leah looked up at him. "Oaks?"
Bill nodded. "And maples."
"Yes, sugar maples."
Bill walked away with a smile, and glanced back from the door as Leah reached down and gently adjusted one of the horses blankets. "There now," she said. "There now."
* * *
Matt grabbed the phone on the first ring, and clearing his throat, focused on the bedside clock. Ironically, he'd been sleeping for a change. "Hello?"
"Leah's coming to get me."
It was Klaus, he recognized the voice, feeble and threaded as it was.
"She's coming to get me."
Matt sat up and raked his fingers through his hair. "But isn't she out at Maple Dale?"
Silence...
"Klaus?"
"No. She's here. She's been following me. She's everywhere I go."
"What do you think she wants?"
"Who knows?" Klaus said, in a despairing voice. "Who knows?"
Matt got out of bed, reaching for his pants. "You, you must. Why else would she be coming for you?"
"I don't know."
"Klaus, go look in the mirror. Go look and see."
"I can't!"
Matt grabbed a shirt and put it on. "Klaus, is your door locked?"
"Yes."
"Unlock it then."
"I can't! She'll get in that way!"
"No, she won't. It works just the opposite. It'll show
her you're not afraid of her. Unlock it. Show her you're not
afraid."
"But I am afraid!" Klaus confessed. "I am!"
With that exclamation, the phone went dead.
Matt flew down the stairs, and after looking up Klaus's address, phoned the police and met them there. They banged on the doors, back and front, but got no response, and had to break a window to get inside.
Klaus was sitting in the center of his den, slumped forward in his mahogany and leather chair, unconscious and drooling, naked to the world, with two empty pill containers rolling back and forth at his feet.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Most everyone was at Maple Dale by midday, decorating, when Matt arrived. The bearer of grim news, he poured himself a cup of coffee.
"That's not decaf," Christine warned.
He drank it anyway, down to the last drop.
Richard watched him curiously. "Are you all right?"
Matt shook his head. Leah was there. No one had come right out and told him, but he could tell by the way they were acting, by the way they were doing things, and had to choose his words carefully. "I'm fine. It's Klaus."
"What do you mean?"
Everyone turned.
"He's in the hospital. I committed him."
Leah gasped along with everyone else.
"What?"
"What for?"
"He attempted suicide."
"Suicide?"
Matt nodded.
"Why?"
"I don't know. But I think it has something to do with Leah Oliver's death."
Leah clutched her chest. Her death? Her death? Yes. It was true. Klaus was there. She remembered now. She was lying on the cement, dying, as he walked away. "Oh my God!" she shouted, sending a gust of wind whipping through the office. "It was his fault! It was!"
"And I'm afraid he's going to try again," Matt said warily.
"What?! Try what again?" Leah screamed. "I'm dead!"
"And his next attempt..."
"Oh my God, you mean his life! His life! Why? Why would he do that? I'm already dead! What is killing himself going to do? Bring me back!"
"I believe he's hiding something. Something that..."
"No!" Leah didn't want to hear anymore, she couldn't, and fled through the wall, leaving the room in a dusty swirl, with ornaments and windows quaking as everyone shielded their eyes.
"Noooooooooo!!!!"
Outside, her cries tore though the snow-covered trees, snapping branches and breaking limbs, her rage aimed at the sky. "Damn you! What kind of God are you anyway? Why are you doing this? What for? Do you want revenge? Is that what you want? Revenge?"
The clouds darkened.
"That's it, isn't it?" she screamed. "I don't believe this! You want revenge! This is pathetic! You want revenge for a life you never cared about! Where were you when I needed you?" She swung around, searching the heavens. "Tell me! Where were you
then?"
Her cries turned to sobs, and slumping to the ground then, she relived her death. A lonely death. A lonely life. "One word," she said. "Just one. A sign. Anything to let me know you were there. Just one."
A thin ray of light penetrating the clouds as she said this brought additional tears to her eyes. "You're too late. You hear me? You're too late. I've been afraid all my life. Afraid of what I'd done wrong, afraid to love, afraid to care. Afraid of everything. And you allowed it. You allowed my birth and you allowed my death. Only I never lived. Do you hear me?
I never lived. Had you been there, you would know that. So your revenge means nothing to me. Nothing. Nothing at all. You hear me? Nothing. I don't need it. I don't want it. Go give it to somebody else."
* * *
Matt was summoned to the hospital by a frantic floor nurse, and arrived to find Klaus in a straightjacket and foaming at the mouth.
"I need some sleep!" he spat. "Give me something!"
Matt sighed, shaking his head. With that, Klaus started twisting and turning, fighting his restraints. "I said give me something to sleep!"
"Why?"
"Because I need some rest, goddamn it! Why else?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
"You're a quack!" Klaus slobbered, mocking him, "You tell me!"
The nurses looked on anxiously, but Matt remained unruffled, even when Klaus started bucking up and down and banging the bed into the wall.
"Let me go! Get me out of this!"
"What's eating at you, Klaus? Talk to me."
Klaus's eyes widened.
"What are you in here for?"
"For rest, you son of a bitch, I told you! I need some rest!"
Matt nodded, his only response to that, a nod. And this sent Klaus into an added rage, where he chewed on one wrist and then the other, slobbering and grunting, trying to get free. Matt motioned for the nurses to leave the room.
"I hate you!" Klaus hissed at Matt, as the door closed behind them. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
"Obviously," Matt said. "I can see that."
What he really saw though, was a man fighting his own demons and getting an erection in the process, one that protruded from under the sheet.
"I agree, you do need some rest though."
"What?" Hope flickered in Klaus's eyes. "Yes, you're right. I do. I need some rest. Give me something. Are you going to give me something?"
Matt shook his head. He couldn't. "Your system is still..."
"Fuck my system! I need some help! Don't you see? I can't sleep! I can't rest!"
"Since when?"
"What difference does it make?"
"A lot."
Klaus's erection built higher and higher.
"Has it been since Leah died?"
"Yes!" Klaus said. "Yes!"
That came as no surprise. But, "Why?"
"Because! Because she won't let me! She's making me pay!"
"For what?"
Klaus started rocking in his bed, trying to roll onto his stomach so he could gratify himself, his eyes glazing over.
Matt walked to the window. "Are you sure it's Leah that's keeping you awake?"
"Yes! Who else?"
Matt kept his back to him. "I don't know. Maybe your father."
"My father?!" Klaus rocked and rocked. "My father?!" He rocked sideways, he rocked up and down. "Look at me! Loo
k at me, you son of a bitch. Look at what you've done to me!"
Matt refused.
"Look at me, I said! You can't turn your back on me! I'm your son! I'm a man! Look!"
Matt turned with a heavy sigh. "I haven't turned my back on you, Klaus. I'm not your father. Your father is dead, and so is Leah."
Klaus could rock and rock forever. To no end. Reduced to tears of frustration, he tried again and again until all his strength was gone, then just laid there, shrinking and crying, begging to be untied. "Please..."
"I'd like to, Klaus. But where would you go?"
"To sleep," he said. "I just want to go to sleep."
* * *
Bethann spent hours composing a dedication to Leah, and when finished, brought it downstairs in a sealed envelope. Richard was going to have it printed on a plaque for the party,
but until then, she wanted its contents kept a secret.
"All done?"
She nodded and sat down next to her mom on the couch. "Do you th-think it'll be r-r-ready in time?"
Richard smiled, assuring her it would "I promise." There was a knock on the door then, and Shad trailed after him as he went to answer it.
It was Matt. "I think I should just move in," he said.
Richard laughed and started toward the den, but Matt motioned to the kitchen, and that's where they would talk.
Klaus had Matt more than worried. Much more.
"You mean, you don't think he's going to make it?" Richard asked.
Matt glanced over his shoulder, not wanting to be overheard. Christine yes, Bethann no. Not Bethann. Let her be innocent a little while longer.
"Remember what I said about the Coroner's report and how I thought Klaus was involved somehow?"
Richard nodded. Of course he remembered. Who could forget?
"Well," Matt said. "I think now more than ever, I was right."
Richard swallowed. "You mean...?"
"Yes," Matt said. "I think he killed her."
CHAPTER TWENTY
Whether or not Klaus actually did kill Leah, would not be a mystery much longer. The following day, Matt phoned Richard at his office, asking him to meet him at the hospital, and together they walked into his room.
Klaus wanted to confess. He wanted to get it off his chest. He couldn't stand it anymore. The tremendous guilt. Only what he had to say, hurt more than they could ever have imagined. He hadn't struck her, hence no bruises. He hadn't laid a finger on her.
"I told her to beg," he said, with tears in his swollen eyes. "I told her to get down on her knees and beg."
"What?" Richard could have hit him, even as the man lay in bed, bandaged, oozing, and crying remorsefully. He even took a step toward him with clenched fists, and it was Matt who held him back.
"Don't!" he said, getting him to make eye contact. "Don't!" Besides, Klaus wasn't finished. There was more.
"I went to help her up then, but she wouldn't let me. She pushed me away. That's when I called her a bastard! I told her she was born a bastard and would die a bastard! A motherless bastard! And that nobody would care!"
Matt and Richard stood there stunned.
"That's when she grabbed her chest. She grabbed it and started screaming at me to get out of her sight! That she couldn't stand the sight of me! What kind of man was I she screamed!"
Matt swallowed. "And you left?"
Klaus covered his face and nodded. "Yes! I did! But I didn't know she was going to die! I didn't! I thought..." He sobbed into his bandaged hands. "I didn't know!"
Richard felt like he was going to throw up, and walked over to the window to focus on something, anything. The parking lot, the cars, the medical building next door. Anything but
Klaus.
Matt remained at Klaus's side. It was his job, his duty, and later, when Klaus had run down and they'd left, he and Richard talked in the cafeteria.
"He destroyed her. He literally destroyed her," Richard said. "She was hanging by a thread and he goes and hits her with..."
"No parents," Matt said.
Richard stared into his coffee, and shook his head. "You were right, Matt. She died of a broken heart. And maybe, just maybe, if he'd gone back to help her..."
"Maybe," Matt said. "And that right there is what's eating at him. It's what's been following him around."
Richard's eyes clouded with tears. "But to ask her to beg. Jesus Christ, Matt. Her dignity was all she had left. And to ask her to..."
Matt touched his arm, it was over, there was nothing they could do about it.
Richard pulled away. "So now what? He confesses, gets some rest, and we all go on with our lives like nothing happened?"
Matt smiled sadly. He could understand Richard's sarcasm. But at the same time. "I think it's a misconception," he said. "Confessing and then feeling better. I think you have to come to terms with something, and as part of that healing, then confess."
Klaus had told them he'd had a dream the night before, where Leah wasn't coming to get him anymore, but was pushing him away.
"Are you referring to that so-called vision of his?"
Matt nodded. Klaus also told them that he thought the dream meant that Leah had forgiven him. That he prayed that was what it meant.
"You mean, you agree?" Richard asked.
Matt shrugged. "I don't know. But when you think about Leah's reaction yesterday when she heard about his attempted suicide, and how upset she got..."
Richard raised an eyebrow. "Upset? That seemed more like anger to me."
Matt held up two fingers and pressed them together. "Emotions," he said. "Sometimes they're so close, you can't tell one from the other."
Richard sat back and looked around the cafeteria. He knew what Matt was trying to say, and yet. "Yeah, well...he could be lying. Who's to say he even had a dream? Haven't you ever had a patient who lied about something like that?"
Matt nodded. "Yes. Fortunately though, it usually comes out in the end."
Richard sighed, and for a moment, they were quiet. Someone had walked by them with a tray, and the smell reminded Richard of his stay here. The food. The sounds. The pain.
"How do you do it, Matt?"
"What?"
"This." Richard held his hands out. "Every day of your life."
Matt smiled. "I'm no saint. There's times when I'd like to walk away. Times like today."
"But you don't."
"I can't," Matt said. "I signed up for the whole run, wire to wire. It's a marathon."
Richard smiled.
"Besides. If we can turn our backs on Klaus, we can turn our backs on anyone. And then one day, who'll be there for us?"
* * *
Richard, Christine, and Bethann were the first to arrive at Maple Dale on Christmas Eve. They plugged in all the lights, lit all the candles, and had just started putting out the food when Christine had to rush into the ladies room. This was the third time today she'd felt sick to her stomach, and was so pale when she emerged, Richard asked if she was feeling all right.
"Fine," she said, and promptly started to cry.
Richard put his arms around her. "Christine..."
"I'm fine, really."
"Then why are you crying?"
"I don't know."
Richard laughed softly and glanced at Bethann. When she shrugged, having no idea, he asked again. "Come on, what's the matter?"
Christine sniffed and wiped her nose. "It's nothing really. I just think I'm pregnant."
Richard smiled. "I thought so."
"You mean you knew?" Christine searched his eyes.
"Yes." Richard nodded and kissed her gently. "We've been through this before, remember."
"I remember." They gazed into each other's eyes a moment, then turned instinctively to Bethann, who was smiling, beaming actually, but with tears in her eyes as well.
Leah watched them from the sanctuary of her corner, feeling included somehow, a member of the family, and smiled when Bill came through the doorway.
"I'm
sorry," he said, taking one glance and turning to leave.
"No, stay," Richard said. "It's all right."
"No, it's not," Bill told him. "I don't want to see anyone crying on Christmas Eve. Enough is enough."
Christine laughed and dabbed at her eyes. "All right, then I'll stop."
"Good," Bill said.
With this, Bethann proudly announced, "Mom's pregnant." And just like that, Bill got choked up.
"Well, I'll be..." he said, which was all he could say for a second or two. He shook Richard's hand. "Aren't you a little old for this?"
Richard laughed and smacked him on the arm, the way men do, and Bill turned to Christine. "Congratulations," he said, and the two of them just looked at one another at first, then hugged, a gentle embrace. And when they parted, Christine had to dab at her eyes again.
"All right, no more. No more tears."
Walter came in and was given the news. His family, and then Matt and his family arrived shortly after that. As their voices and laughter grew louder, filling the room, Bethann walked over to the arena window. The Christmas lights reflected in the glass, sparkling, as she stared out. They were all talking about Klaus now, and the progress he was making toward a recovery. She wished there was a way she could tell Leah, to let her know.
Leah moved closer. "Oh, Bethann..." she whispered, in a feather of a voice. “You are such a joy to me, you have no idea."
Bethann felt a wave of warmth come over her, and remained perfectly still in an effort to hold onto it.
"It's all right," Leah said softly. "It's all right."
'But I've been so worried about you.'
"Don't be. I'm okay."
Bethann's eyes welled up with tears.
"Don't," Leah said. "Don't be sad. Not for me." She touched Bethann's hair lightly. "I'm finding peace with myself. And I'm finally sharing."
Bethann felt a gentle touch on the side of her face, as a spicy scent embraced her, holding her dear.
"And even though I'm gone, I'll never be far away."
* * *
The rest of Leah's Tuesday students and their families arrived. Bethann had invited them. John Smith and his wife came also. He said he was honored to have been included. When everyone was assembled and seated, the dedication began.
Maple Dale (Maple Dale Series) Page 15