by Nicky Shanks
Brandon even paid for my tuition at the community college in Rockford so I can start making something of myself instead of living off of other people for the rest of my life—or rather, men. Living off of men.
I strut on my long legs around the front of the car and he smiles, maybe even blushes a little. I know I’ve gained a little weight since we started fully dating—he’s made sure that I don’t throw up when I get nervous anymore, and I can even eat bacon in front of him without feeling disgusting.
Things.
Are.
Amazing.
I lean my head into his window and peck his lips. My body turns from his and I feel his hand grip the thick part of my thighs beneath my ass and squeeze before I walk away. I don’t look behind me as he speeds off; he has work to get to, and I have my very first class of the day in fifteen minutes.
The small campus isn’t exactly NYU, but that’s no surprise. I mean, we are in downtown Rockford, where we’re smack dab in the middle between Rochester and Albany. Nothing happens in between the major cities and surely no one is just itching to go to school here, either. But I have no choice. I have to go to school here if I want to be close to Brandon, and plus, it’s not like I can just pick up where I left off so many years ago at NYU.
I have to do this.
The campus is pretty—the perfectly planned and manicured trees make me feel good about myself and more studious as I explore the grounds before finding the building I need. It’s not a large campus, but it’s still confusing when you skipped orientation and have no idea where you’re going. I look at the paper in my hand and then back up at the building to make sure the names match in both places.
“Garrett Building, Room 312,” I say out loud, putting the paper into my pocket. There isn’t anything more annoying to me than being late to something—well, maybe except for perfect little Julie Remington with her heart of gold and locks of hair to match—so I jog up the stairs and enter the building to find the room where my first class of my new life takes place.
Economics 101.
When I reach the open door of the classroom, I start to panic. I don’t know what I was thinking, coming here and enrolling in classes. I barely passed the classes I took at NYU. I turn around to run, but someone bumps into me, nearly knocking me over.
“God, could you watch where you’re going?” I snarl without looking at the person.
“Sorry,” a familiar voice says.
Lucy.
“What are you doing here?” I’m gaping at the woman standing in front of me. She doesn’t look jazzed up like she did before: Her long, red hair is tied behind her head and there isn’t any makeup flushing her face at all. She looks…normal.
Lucy scoffs. “Nice to see you too.” Her nose sticks into the air as she passes me, and I know it’s for good reason. She went to lunch with me as a courtesy, to see if I’m the same person I’ve always been. I follow her into the room and look around quickly—she’s positioned herself in the middle of everyone, so I sit in the back of the class to keep an eye on her. She acts like she doesn’t know me when only a few days ago she was chomping at the bit just to see me.
A few minutes roll by and I think I’m going to die of boredom until a glimpse of something catches my eye and my mouth drops open again.
No.
It can’t be.
It’s Julie fucking Remington. Here, in my class.
“Lucy?” I hear Julie squeal as she sees my former friend. “I didn’t know you were taking classes! It’s nice to see you.” Her bright smile actually does light up the room, and that pisses me off. It’s hard knowing what men see in her, even if she has no idea. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” she asks, and Lucy nods and opens her hand for Julie to sit down at her side.
Are you kidding me?
How do they know each other?
A smile spreads across my face as I glare at the two of them. Julie puts her things down onto the table in front of the empty chair, and as she turns to sit down, she notices me and frowns. Our eyes lock for a few minutes, both of us unable to really process what we feel in this very moment.
Run, Julie.
Run back home to Oliver.
This is my new beginning, and you’re not a part of it.
Okay, so maybe—deep down—I have to admit it would be nice to have Julie as a friend. If I wasn’t so put-off by her existence, I mean.
Her head shakes and she sits down in the chair without looking at me again throughout the entire class. As the professor drones on and it comes closer to time to leave, I’m only halfway listening to what he’s saying. Instead, I’m seething at the fact that Julie has ruined my new beginning. I’m supposed to be free of my old life and everyone in it…especially Oliver and Julie. When the professor announces that we’ll be teaming up in groups of four for a start of semester project, I see Lucy and Julie giggle amongst themselves as the two guys in front of them turn around and lay on the charm so thick that it hurts my teeth from four rows back.
No one around me asks me to be in their group.
“Okay, so…who doesn’t have partners?” the professor says loudly through the excited chatter. A few frizzy-haired girls in the front row hold up their hands. My face flushes because I know I have to hold mine up too. I dart it proudly into the air and puff out my chest; Julie’s look of amusement at me isn’t going to bring my mood down anymore. “Okay, so you four—” He points to each of us and makes some weird slurping noise. “—can work together. Exchange phone numbers and emails, guys. I’ll email you the directions for the project tonight. It’s been a great first class; see you on Wednesday.”
People jump from their seats and rush from the room, forming a clog at the door. I take my time and pack my things with ease because I don’t want to get caught anywhere near Lucy or Julie right now. It was bad enough having her here, and now she’s seen how pathetic my life has become.
The last kid in class to be picked.
“God, are you five?” I whisper to myself and swing my bag over my shoulder. The three unkempt, brace-faced girls linger to exchange phone numbers, but I try to dodge them without success. The tallest one, her strawberry-blonde frizzy hair going in every direction but down, flags me down and grabs my arm before I shoot her a hard look for her to let the hell go of me.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I’m Isabel, and this is—”
I snort. “I don’t even care. See you.”
“But we have to exchange numbers and emails! How else are we going to do the project?”
In the periphery of my hearing, Julie’s annoying laugh seeps into my eardrums; she’s standing in a small group with Lucy and the two guys that had sat in front of them, laughing and passing all their phones around until everyone’s number is inside.
That should be me.
I’m the popular one.
I wonder how Oliver will feel knowing what she’s doing right now.
I don’t know if steam is coming from my ears but I don’t care, either. The three girls in my group stare at me with surprise, like they can’t believe they’re standing so close to someone like me. In this moment, I could decide to be a horrible person and just storm off, but I think about Brandon and how disappointed in me he’ll be if he finds out I’ve turned back into my old self. It doesn’t really matter who Julie has in her group or who is in mine—none of that affects me as a person.
I smile at the high road I take and turn back to my group. “I’m sorry.” I clear my throat and force myself not to look back at Julie and Lucy. “I’m just a little tired. My name is Heather Michaels…you said your name is Isabel?”
She nods and blinks several times. “Yeah, and this is Willow and Evelyn.”
I force a little wave and keep smiling. There’s no reason I can’t be friends with these girls. Well, maybe the fact that they aren’t gorgeous will put me at ease with trying so hard to be something I wasn’t meant to be in the first place.
I can do this.
I can ta
ke this high road and make it my bitch.
“Nice to meet you guys. Here’s my phone.” Fishing my phone from my pocket, I hand it to Isabel and she blushes. “Go ahead and put your numbers in and I’ll just make a group text for everyone so we don’t have to pass phones around like dummies.” I say this loud enough for Julie to hear, but I don’t look at her for confirmation.
“Do you know that girl?” Willow points to Julie. The waves of her short, black hair that match mine in color bounce as she brings her arm back to her side. “I know her too. Her brother works with my dad.”
I feel like I’m smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “Oh? Where?”
“Rockford PD—my dad is a detective just like Randy, her brother. Her name is Julie, right?”
“Yeah, that’s perfect little Julie,” I mutter, but Isabel hears me anyway.
“I never did like her. She never spoke to me at any police functions. I’ve seen her with her new boyfriend, though, and he’s pretty—”
I hold up my hand for her to stop. “Don’t even say it.”
Isabel blushes. “Oh, sorry. Do you know him?”
This is my chance to take that superior high road.
I’m ready.
“Yeah, I know him. He used to be a friend of mine until she snatched him up.”
Dammit.
So much for the high road.
Isabel blushes again and glares at Julie like she’s the scorned one. I like that about her already; she’s willing to have the same enemies as me just after knowing me for five minutes. I shouldn’t have said that about Julie, but I couldn’t help myself. I want someone to see Julie like I do.
Without rose-colored glasses.
I clear my throat. “Well, Oliver and I were broken up before she came along, but it feels like the same thing.” I quickly smile at the girls. “I’m trying to be a better person and not be the selfish, petty little thing I have been lately.”
Willow nods her head, making her short hair bounce again. “That’s a good thing! It’s always nice to see bullies redeem themselves and be better people.”
I open my mouth and close it again. She’s right. I was a bully…not just lately, but in high school and college I was the biggest bully around. I don’t know why I did it. But I do know that making other people feel less than human made me feel more…me.
“Heather.” Julie’s cold voice sounds next to my group. “Can we talk?”
I wave goodbye to the girls and tell them I’ll send the group text later. When Julie pulls me to a quiet corner of the room, I feel like I could pounce on her and no one would know. Okay, so maybe Lucy would know since she’s lurking around the classroom door and watching us.
“What?” I snarl at her and cross my arms over my chest. “What could you possibly want?”
“I want us to be able to be in a class together without any drama happening.”
I laugh and Lucy takes a few steps toward us. “I can’t even believe how this turned out. This was supposed to be my new beginning, and here you are, taking that away from me like you took Oliver away from me.” I blush, but my mouth won’t stop. “Now I’m going to have to drop this class and Brandon already paid for it.”
Julie smiles. “He’s helping you with classes?”
I don’t smile back. “Of course he is. He’s given me anything I’ve wanted.”
“That’s really great. I’m really happy for you two.”
Why isn’t she jealous?
I smirk and tap my foot on the floor. I know Isabel, Willow, and Evelyn are still watching me, and I don’t want them to see me in that light. They might not be my usual standard of friend, but these days, I need all the friendship I can get from people who’ve never met me. I can be whoever I want to be with these girls. I don’t have to be labeled like I have been for the past four years.
Heather: Oliver’s girlfriend.
Heather: Oliver’s ex-girlfriend.
Heather: the vindictive and backstabbing friend.
I can just be…Heather.
“There isn’t going to be any drama from me, Julie. I’m past all of that. I don’t care about you, Oliver, Nora, or Casey, okay? I’m just here to get through this class so I can move on.”
Julie smiles and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her acceptance of me. In another world, in another life…we could have been friends. Lucy shuffles her feet behind Julie and it distracts me from our conversation enough to remember that Lucy has a little secret about where she came from.
I’m going to put it into my pocket and save it for later.
Lucy eyeballs me as a warning that she’s no longer impressed by my presence. There’s nothing I would love more than to out her to her newfound friend, but this is the new me…taking the high road. My gaze goes back to Julie, who is still beaming at me for being the better person.
“Heather, would you like to—”
“—I have to go.” I look at my group. “I’ll text you guys later.”
The three of them nod and look between Julie, Lucy, and me to see who’s going to throw the first verbal punch. I guess it was obvious that there’s tension here, but I don’t give it a second thought as I wave at them and brush past Julie and then Lucy to head out of the building and to my next class of the day. When I step outside, a firm hand grabs me and I make a small, startled squeak.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” Brandon whispers in my ear. “College girls are so…hot.”
I laugh nervously and look at the doors of the building, hoping that Julie doesn’t waltz out of them and whatever lures men to her doesn’t waft out with her perfect body. I’m dwelling on things that don’t matter—that’s one of the things Brandon and I talked about that we would change in ourselves when he finally decided to leave Julie behind and start over with me.
“What are you doing here?” I fake a giggle and meet his eyes. “It was only an hour-long class; did you wait out here the whole time?”
Brandon’s face lights up and I look around for Julie. When I realize it’s me that he’s looking at, it’s almost too hard to believe. “I waited around for you. I wanted to make sure your first class was everything you’ve been talking about for the last week or so. How was it?”
My lips meet his cheek and I stay there for a long minute or so, trying to find the words to tell him that Julie is in my class. I don’t know if I even should, to be honest. I know Brandon likes me—maybe he even loves me—but she can be my entire undoing if I let her.
And I’m not going to let her.
“It was great.” I cock my head and sweetly smile. “Thanks for checking up on me. Can you walk me to my next class?”
Brandon notices my reservation, but he puts his arm around my waist anyway and I direct him to the next building, Dr. Carver Building of Science. He kisses me goodbye before leaving me at the steps leading to my next class. Julie isn’t anywhere around and I’m thankful for that.
I’m going to start playing by my own rules now.
Chapter Seven
Julie
The moment that Heather steps foot outside the classroom door, I tell myself I’ll give her the space she so desperately seeks. It shows through her effort to take the high road and I can appreciate that since I’m trying to live a different life too. We aren’t so different after all; we both just want to move on with our lives the best that we possibly can.
“Hey, what’s your next class?” Lucy stands next to me. I almost forgot that she’s even here, not to mention how weird it is that she—and Heather—are both in my very first college class ever. I already felt like an outsider because mostly everyone attending here during the day is a lot younger than me than I’d like to admit. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re too old to be somewhere at the age of twenty-three. Like Heather, I’m choosing to make the best of this and go home to Oliver.
Okay, so maybe only slightly like Heather.
My eyebrows crinkle at Lucy, who’s staring at me, waiting for me to answer her. “Oh.” I cle
ar my throat and take a piece of paper from my pocket. “English Lit, across the campus.”
Her face darkens. “Well, I’m in the Theatre building. Some lame general requirement I wanted to push out of the way before getting back to the good stuff.” The vibrant red of her hair shimmers as she leads me outside and the daylight hits us. Sometimes, I forget to look people in the eye unless it’s Oliver. There’s nothing I can get past him anyway, so looking him in the eye doesn’t put me at a disadvantage like it does with other people.
“Lucy…” She’s a few inches taller than me, but it’s nice to have someone roughly on my height level for once. “I didn’t know you were thinking about taking classes here. I mean, we didn’t really have a chance to really talk before…you know.” She catches my eye and I find it easy to look at her—there’s something soothing about the way she holds herself.
Lucy laughs. “I went to state college back home, but by the time my senior year rolled around…I felt trapped and suffocated. So, I left home and moved here without looking back. I figured I might as well try to snag as many classes as I can to help me graduate.”
“Is that going to work?”
She shrugs her slim shoulders. “What I can’t get here, I’ll do online. I’m not going to live in Boxwood for the rest of my life, that’s for sure.” Her snort is comical, so I let a small giggle slip from my lips. She realizes what she’s said and blushes, clapping her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to invade your personal space or anything.”
“Oh, please. Around here, personal space means nothing to anyone.” I laugh and throw my bag over my shoulder. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, okay?”
Before she can capture me in a conversation about Casey—because I haven’t forgotten what he’s done or what he’s said—I wave to her and skip off toward the English building. The questions in the front of my mind are banging at the walls to get out—questions that I wish I would have asked Casey before he ran off from me the other day.