Jack, meanwhile, didn’t take his eyes off me. It was as if he expected me to disappear if he did. I tried to meet his eyes, but I could only blush and lowered my gaze. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ezra walk out of the room, and Mae busied herself with cleaning up the dishes so she wasn’t just staring at us.
“Why are you wearing sweatpants with a blazer?” I asked when it seemed that Jack would just go on staring at me forever. I touched the pocket of his blazer, and he laughed softly.
“Um, we were sleeping when you texted me,” Jack answered with a cautious grin. “We had early meetings today, and then I got your text message. We were calling and canceling things and rearranging flights, and I just never changed out the pajamas. And I put on the blazer because it was cold and raining there and it was something to put on. It’s my business suit. Do you like it?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed one of his platinum buttons, and there was something very dashing about it. “I was wondering what you wore to work.”
“This is it. Well, with matching pants.” His eyes were lightening, and he was starting to settle into the fact that I really was okay. “You look tired.”
“So do you,” I countered. It was after eight in the morning, and that wasn’t the right time for either of us to be up.
“Wanna go to bed?” He took my hand in his, preparing to lead me out of the kitchen.
“Jack,” Mae admonished him. She was standing at the kitchen sink, and she turned give him a hard look.
“If you think that I’m letting her out of my sight, then you’re crazy,” Jack retorted evenly.
“It’s her funeral, you know?” Mae pointed at me while she glared at him, but she wasn’t going to stop us.
“Thanks for the heads up,” he muttered dryly.
Still holding my hand, he led me upstairs. He walked very slowly and kept looking back at me, to make sure I was still there. I was a little surprised he didn’t try to carry me, but he probably thought that I’d protest, and it didn’t really seem worth it. When we reached his room, he turned on the light and shut the door behind us. Letting go of my hand for the first time, he slipped off his blazer and tossed it aside, then turned to look at me.
“I, um, I don’t have any pajamas,” I explained awkwardly.
All I was wearing was the soft robe and a pair of cotton panties, because after the bath, that was all that had sounded comfortable against my skin. With Jack standing in front of me, I could think of a few other things that felt good, but I didn’t suggest them.
“That’s okay,” he smiled, but it wasn’t one of his naughty, mischievous smiles. He was still just so grateful that I was here with him, and not dead somewhere else.
He stepped towards me, and very slowly, he untied the belt of my robe. He looked up at me to make sure it was okay, and part of me wanted to stop him. Not because I didn’t want him to do it, but because I was about to be exposed completely and the lights were still on. My skin flushed red, and that only made him smile wider. He slipped hands inside the open robe, resting them gently on my sides just above my hips, and I felt how unnaturally warm his hands felt against my trembling skin.
Gingerly, he lifted me up and placed me on his bed. I laid on my back, and while I was still wearing the robe, it had fallen open, so my entire body lay open and naked before him. I swallowed hard, praying I didn’t look as terrible as I imagined I did, as he looked me over. His fingers softly touched one of my scratches, and his expression was momentarily angry, but he shook it off.
He lowered his head and kissed the soft spot between my breasts, then turned and rested his ear on my chest, above my heart. His skin was pressed against mine and I could feel his hand gently holding my sides as he listened to my heartbeat. It was the way people listened to a pregnant woman’s belly to hear the baby. There was something strangely sweet and intimate about that, and I ran my fingers through his hair.
When he lifted his head again, he looked me directly in my eyes, his blue eyes going translucent.
He pushed the hair back from my forehead, and his skin was already burning against me.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful your heartbeat sounds?” Jack asked me quietly, and I shook my head. “You have no idea how beautiful and amazing any part of you is.” There was an oddly conflicted expression on his face, but he dismissed it quickly.
Finally, he bent down and pressed his lips against mine. He was still fully clothed, but I could feel the heat of his body smoldering through his shirt and the weight of his body pressing tentatively against mine. Instinctively, my body pushed against his, and I tightened my fingers in his hair, pushing his lips harder to mine.
Fervently, he kissed me, and everything inside me trembled with anticipation. Pleasure surged through me like electricity, and intense warmth was exploding all through me. My stomach swirled with butterflies and my heart was beating frantically. Every part of me was begging for him. His breathing was low and rough, and his hands eagerly searched my skin. He moaned against me, and I felt his body move with me, but there were that stupid cloth separating us. Part of me wanted to rip off his clothes, but I knew that still wouldn’t be close enough. I wanted to feel his heart pounding with mine, and there was only way to achieve that.
“Do it,” I whispered huskily in his ear, and then leaned my head back, revealing as much of my throat as I possibly could.
He pressed his lips softly against my vein, leaving them there as I pushed myself against him. He was trying to resist it, but he was overcome with an incessant need for me. Losing me was more than he could bear, and he was desperate for me.
The sharp pain lasted only a second, and then there was ecstasy spreading away from my neck.
His heart beat heavily, and I felt it thudding in my own chest, above my heart. There was a double beat that felt more amazing than anything I had ever experienced. Breathlessly, I moaned, and I could taste him in mouth, the tangy, honey taste of his blood, even though I had never actually tasted it. I could feel the way his blood coursed through his veins, the way it coursed through mine. Like hot, liquid silk carrying pure bliss through my body.
More than anything, though, I could feel how much he loved me. It was pure and raw, and it felt like it was coming from inside me and spreading out all over me. For an instant, I loved myself the way he loved me, and it felt deeper than anything I had ever felt before. I didn’t think I was even capable of emotions that intense. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I felt embarrassed because I knew that he could feel how much I loved him, and it didn’t seem to compare with the way he felt about me.
The intensity of everything started fading, getting hazy around the edges. It all still felt more spectacular than I could’ve ever hoped for, but I was starting to feel more like I was dreaming and less like this was actually happening. I was starting to lose consciousness, and I thought about telling Jack, but it felt far too amazing to stop.
A jolt ripped through me, and I gasped painfully for air. My body suddenly felt cold and alone.
Jack had stopped biting me, and although he was still lying directly on top of me, the separation of his blood from mine, his heart from mine, was shocking. It felt like being thrust from the desert to the arctic.
“Oh my god.” Jack struggled to catch his breath. His face was buried in my hair next to me, and I felt his body shuddering and heaving to get control of itself. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I murmured dazedly. “Are you kidding? That was… amazing.”
“I can’t believe I just did that…” He shook his head and rolled over onto his back.
“No, Jack, that was…” I didn’t even have the words for what it was. Using all my strength, I rolled over and buried my head in his chest. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around me, and then pulled me close to him.
“That was bad. Right now, it feels really, really worth it, but that was definitely bad,” Jack whispered hoarsely. For the first time ever, his heart beat loudly and quickly. Not as fast or as loud as
mine, but something much closer to human.
“No. No. I just hate that it’s over,” I insisted. “I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Neither have I,” Jack admitted wearily. “What are we gonna do?”
“I’m going to fall asleep…” Exhaustion from the night coupled with sudden, intense blood loss made me feel weaker than I ever had before in my life. I could probably sleep for the next three days straight. “And you’re gonna stay with me. Being this close to you still feels too far away. I don’t think I could handle it if you were any farther.”
He kissed the top of my head and fixed my robe so it was covering me more. I felt him moving but didn’t understand what he was doing until I felt the blanket on top of me. He had covered me up, and then he rolled over so he was laying on his side, facing me. I still had my face buried in his chest, and he wrapped his arms securely around me. It was like being in a cocoon, and I slowly started drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 19
The afterglow was more of an aftermath. I was blissfully unconscious, more so than I had ever been before, and Jack had gotten out of bed before I even started to stir. The bed was empty underneath my arm, and when I tried to nuzzle closer to him, all I could find was the softness of the pillow. There was still this heavy exhaustion hanging on me, like I was sleeping underneath a weighted blanket, but I could faintly hear movement in the room and I just wanted Jack back in bed with me.
The light was still in, so I blinked through my groggy vision as my eyes started to adjust. I tried to left up my head, but that required far too much strength. Using all my effort, I managed to roll onto my back and tried to make sense of the room. Jack was pacing the room, but when he saw me starting to wake up, he stood at the end of the bed and just watched me. His arms were folded over his chest and his eyes looked moist.
“This is why Peter tried to send you away,” Jack whispered to himself and swallowed hard.
“What?” My voice was barely above a whisper, and it was taking everything I had to manage that.
“Jack? What are you doing? Come back to bed…” Languidly, I patted the empty spot next to me, hoping to entice him back in bed.
“I can’t get back in bed with you!” Jack insisted his fiercely, and he smiled sadly at me. “I shouldn’t even be in the same room with you. I obviously can’t be around you anymore.”
“No, Jack.” Fear was starting to energize me a bit more, and I struggled to sit up. My mind was covered in a thick fog, and I could still felt the way his heart beat with mine. It was hard to think of a rational argument.
“Jack, just please. Can’t we sleep? And we’ll talk about this later. But you can’t… just… not be around me.”
“We need to talk to Ezra. I think I may have just killed you.”
“I’m clearly not dead, Jack,” I shook my head, not understanding what he meant.
“Maybe there’s still time. Maybe we can do something.” He wasn’t looking at me anymore. His mind was working overtime, trying to think of some way out of this. “You’ve got to get up. We have to go now.”
“But I am so tired!” I whined and fell backwards on the bed. I didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. He was saying things that were potentially very serious, but my eyes were already closing.
“Alice!” Jack shouted, and it startled me enough where my eyes opened up again. “You have to get up!”
“No!” I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. “You have to come back to bed! That’s what we’ll do. Compromise.”
“That’s not a compromise at all,” he sighed. The bed shifted as he sat down next to me, and hesitantly, he touched my back. “Alice. Come on. You have to do this. We have to talk to him.
Maybe there’s something he can do. Your neck hasn’t completely healed yet.”
“I don’t care! I am so tired, Jack! I’ve never been this tired in my entire life!” I was shouting, or at least trying to, but if Jack hadn’t had better hearing, he wouldn’t have been able to hear me.
“That’s because you just lost about two pints of blood, and you only had seven to begin with, so your body’s weak right now. Which is also why we need to get up, so I can make sure that you’re okay.” He shook my back, and I tried to pull away from him, not that I got very far. “Alice. Get up.”
After that, he was done arguing. Part of his insistence came from how nervous my current state made him, and he wanted Mae and Ezra to check me out to make sure I wasn’t about to keel over. He got up, and gently but firmly, he started pulling me out of bed. I offered some kind of complaint, but he didn’t listen.
“I’m not wearing any clothes,” I insisted in my tired whine. I was still in the robe, but that didn’t really constitute as clothes. Standing up made me feel dizzy, and I want to sit back down, but he held me in place until I stopped swaying.
“I’ll get you clothes. But you have to stay standing up. You need to try waking up a little bit.” He was holding me steady, and cautiously he let me go. When I didn’t collapse backwards, he hurried to get me something to wear.
“I don’t understand why this can’t wait until I’ve had a bit more sleep. What time is it?” I yawned loudly.
“Um, it’s a little after nine in the morning,” Jack answered as he rummaged through his closet. He came out a second later carrying a tee shirt and drawstring sweats. “Here.”
“How are you so alert? Milo was like… out after he bit Jane.” I shivered involuntarily at the thought of it and took the clothes from him.
“He’s still young. It effects him a lot harder than it does me,” he replied absently. “Put on the clothes.”
“I don’t want to.”
I tried sitting down, but he grabbed my arm to stop me. I just stood there then, fighting to keep my eyes open. Obviously, since standing and opening my eyes were a chore, I wasn’t really up to getting dressed, so Jack took it upon himself. Later on, I’d be incredibly embarrassed, but at the time, I was just grateful that I didn’t have to do it myself. He gently pushed off the robe, and pulled the shirt over my head. I tried to help get my arms through the sleeves of the tee shirt, but I somehow got tangled up. Getting dressed had never been so complicated. He let me sit down to put on my pants, but I ended up actually laying down, and I instantly fell asleep. In ten seconds it took him to get my pants and pull me into standing up, I had fallen asleep.
“Alice,” Jack pleaded with me, trying to get me to stand again, but I wasn’t having any of it.
Finally, he just gave up on it. At least I was dressed. He scooped me into his arms, and my head lolled into his shoulder. The rest of me just hung there, limply. I wanted to put my arms around his neck, but I was already falling sleep. There was the sense of motion, and the next thing I knew, we were downstairs, and he was trying to get me to stand up again. The hardwood floors felt too cold and slippery, and I couldn’t do it.
“Alice, you’re not even trying,” he sighed. His arm was around me, trying to just be supportive. My legs weren’t doing anything productive, so my weight was entirely on him. “Alice! Come on.”
“Just let me sit down.” I decided that would fix everything somehow, if I could just sit down that instant. I was trying to push away from him, so I could just drop to wherever I was at and sit down.
“Alice, we’re in dining room. Why don’t you wait until I take you to the living room?” Jack suggested helpfully, but I just kept pushing on him.
He was much stronger than me, especially considering my extreme state of weakness, but he must’ve decided that fighting me on this was a moot point. Gently, he helped lower me to the floor. Once on the floor, I sat up for about a second, and then fell backwards. He caught me before I cracked the back of my head on the floor, and then carefully set me down so I was laying down.
“You’re just gonna sleep in the middle of the dining room floor?” He had crouched over me, and I looked up at him blearily for a minute.
“I guess so. Since you wouldn’t let me s
leep upstairs like a normal person. Why can’t I ever just be a normal person? Like… for once. I just wanna sleep when I’m tired. Why is that such a crime?” I was tiredly rambling on, but my eyelids were too heavy, and as soon as they fell shut, so did my mouth.
“Alice! I just want you awake long enough to talk to Mae!” He tried shaking me, and while I was still awake, I was too tired to speak or move. “Alice!”
“You bit her.” I heard Mae’s voice coming from somewhere behind Jack, and it startled him. It would’ve done me too, if I hadn’t mostly passed out already. “You finally did it. Is she okay?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, but I heard Mae’s footsteps and felt her crouch down next to me, pushing Jack out of the way. Her hands went to my forehead and my neck, and she made a clicking sound with her tongue.
“This happened awhile ago, Jack. Why are you just bringing her down now?” Mae demanded.
“I don’t know. I fell asleep. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Jack told her apologetically.
“How is she?” That was Ezra, his deep accent rolling out from everywhere. I couldn’t place where he was at. His voice almost sounded like it was coming from inside my head.
“She pale and cool and her heart’s beating fast, but I think she’s okay. We could give her a transfusion, but I don’t really think she needs it.” Mae started lifting me up off the floor, and my eyelids fluttered and I tried to push her off.
“No! Just leave me here. I don’t want to move anymore,” I insisted weakly.
“You’re on the kitchen floor!” Mae said, pushing my hair back from forehead.
“She’s really big into the floor apparently,” Jack grumbled.
“Just leave her if that’s what she wants,” Ezra commanded, and I tried to tell him thank you, but I couldn’t. I felt myself settling back down on the floor, and Mae stood up and moved away from me. Jack asked Ezra what was going to happen now, and I heard the wonderful, deep boom of his voice but I couldn’t understand the answer. It was like listening to the adults talk on Charlie Brown. I was quickly fading out, unable to concentrate enough to hear the most important conversation of my life. The lull of their voices put me to sleep.
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