by Brad Cohen
That’s why at an early age I was drawn to children and their needs. I always enjoyed being around kids, even as I grew to adulthood, because I’ve always felt like a kid inside. And kids had no difficulty in accepting me. Even now, I find that most kids believe in me. They’re able to look past Tourette’s with a lot less difficulty than many adults.
Because kids see an effort from someone like me—someone who is not perfect—it’s imprinted on their minds for years to come. I enjoy being an advocate for kids. Sometimes I’m able to understand aspects of a situation that other teachers may not, and can encourage colleagues who are frustrated with a student to remember why they went into teaching in the first place. Many of us are in the field because we want to help kids. The “tough” students are the ones we are here for most of all. They need us most.
I always tell children that they should never give excuses, and I have credibility with them because they see that I don’t give excuses for Tourette’s. One girl in my class had difficulty reading, and wanted to give up or blame it on other things. I confided to her that I, too, was a bad reader. I even confessed that I still have difficulties, because when I read, my eye-blinking and head-jerking tics start, and I lose concentration. It was an interesting concept for her to comprehend—a teacher who had trouble reading.
However, I also told her that I had to read my assignments, or I never could have graduated from college, landed a good job, or have afforded a nice home. Even though it takes me longer to read something another person could read more easily and faster, I did what I needed to do.
Once students use problems as excuses, they find it increasingly difficult to get out of that pattern. I help kids realize their disabilities and weaknesses not to undermine them, but to encourage them to understand their own needs. At the same time, I teach kids to overcome their problems and help them bring out their own talents. I want them to show off the traits that do the most to make them who they are.
While I’ll always be there to cheer kids on, they have to be the ones who actually do it. They know I didn’t wait for someone to come to me and say, “Okay, Brad, you can be a teacher and this is where you can teach.” They know I took the initiative and persisted until I proved to everyone—myself included—that I really could do it.
A lot has happened since the hardcover version of Front of the Class was released. First there was the four-page spread in People magazine. My class of second graders was very excited when the People photographers came to my school to take pictures of us. And me? I had a blast!
About that same time the television newsmagazine Inside Edition did a story, and between that, People, and appearing at many Jewish Book Festivals, I spent the next few months traveling the country doing book signings. Of course, I still had a group of seven-year-olds to teach, so it was a hectic few months.
In May 2006, I was fortunate enough to appear on Oprah. Was this about the most exciting day of my life? I’ll let you guess! My family and my former assistant principal Hilarie Straka came along with me to share this wonderful day. Before the show, Oprah’s producers came to Atlanta to interview my class, and also to talk to my former principal, Jim Ovbey. Oprah was kind and gracious and made me feel right at home, and I treasure a photo I have of the two of us.
On the very same day the Oprah segment aired, the publisher of the hardcover version of the book, along with my coauthor, Lisa Wysocky, and literary agent, Sharlene Martin, were in New York picking up some very special awards. I am so proud that in May 2006, Front of the Class won the Best Education Book award at both the Independent Publisher (IPPY) Awards and the ForeWord Magazine Book Awards. The validation these awards give to my story means the world to me.
You’d think that life couldn’t get much more exciting, but it can, and did. About the time my coauthor and I sat down to write Front of the Class, I began dating an incredible girl named Nancy Lazarus. She was with me during the People and Inside Edition shoots, and went to many of the speaking engagements and book signings with me. She even sat in the front row of the Oprah audience and cheered me on. Her smiling face and kind words have given me a lot of encouragement and I am so proud to say that in June 2006, Nancy Lazarus became Nancy Cohen. I proposed to her on a hot air balloon overlooking Napa Valley vineyards and we were married in Charleston, South Carolina. Married life is every bit as wonderful as I had imagined it would be and I am very honored that I am sharing this experience with Nancy. With marriage came two of my favorite cats, Alex and Oscar, who walk all over me while I sleep.
During one of my speaking presentations, I had the privilege of meeting Tim Shriver. Tim is the son of Eunice Shriver, who founded the Special Olympics, and he is now chairman of the board of that organization. With Tim’s help, Front of the Class was sold to Hallmark Hall of Fame to become a television movie that aired on CBS in December 2008. I can’t tell you the feeling you get when a movie is made about your life! A combination of thrilling, nervous, joy, validation, and unlimited excitement is about as close as I can get.
Professionally, I have moved out of the classroom and toward my goal of becoming an administrator. I now teach the teachers in my school district. And while I miss the day-to-day contact with the kids, I know this is a temporary loss as I am on a path that will hopefully put me in an administrative position at a school. I just hope that me having Tourette’s doesn’t get in the way of my goal.
You know, after having virtually no friends in middle school, I have been blessed now to have hundreds of people I can honestly call “friend.” Nancy and I have active social lives and our list of friends grows with each passing day.
As for my family, my mom is still my biggest supporter (she calls me every day). She still lives in St. Louis and enjoys walking and traveling. A few years ago we took a trip to Alaska—just the two of us—and we had a wonderful time. Dad and Diane live in Atlanta. Dad owns a building company, and Diane is the assistant general manager at a Saks Fifth Avenue. My relationship with my dad continues to grow in the right direction. My brother Jeff is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with his wife, Hillary, and they now have two great kids. Sasha loves to dress up like a princess and Jonah loves to eat. Jeff is the vice president of Web development and operations for campusbooks.com and Hillary has become a radiologist. I definitely don’t see them nearly often enough. Dodo, my beloved grandmother, passed away a few years after I moved to Atlanta, and I still miss her each and every day. I am so glad she got to see me as a successful teacher before she died because she was one of the very few who was there for me from the beginning.
My big brother Steve Mathes, his wife Julie, and younger son Joey also are in St. Louis, and their older son Andy lives in Atlanta. Andy and I get together sometimes and go to sporting events. Steve continues to be involved in real estate.
My junior and senior high school principal, Mr. Myer, just retired as superintendent of Parkway School District. Hilarie Straka continues as an assistant principal at a Cobb County school, and Jim Ovbey is retired. He stays busy keeping beehives and bottling the honey they produce. My mentor, Susan Scott, moved to Northern Georgia and—fortunately for the kids there—still teaches.
My earlier friends have spread across the country. My BBYO pal Al Snyder married a woman named Sharon and lives in St. Louis. He has one child, Ryan. Jordan Hirschfield still lives in Atlanta with his wife, Jodi, and their two kids, Noah and Emmy. Bob Steinback is back in St. Louis. Jeff Lapp married a woman named Mara, and they have one child, Elliot. He works for Morgan Stanley. And Brian Lapidus and his wife, Rebecca, have one child, Jacob. Brian works for the Atlanta Braves.
Looking back, life so far has been great. I have no way of knowing what challenges and opportunities lie ahead. However, I can now see how very far I have come. I can only hope I will progress at least as far—if not further—in the next chapter of my life.
APPENDIX
Thoughts on Living with Tourette Syndrome and Other Disabilities
Following are some thoughts that have
gotten me through tough times. Whenever life gets me down, I go back to them. I share them with you in hopes that whether or not you have Tourette’s or another disability, they will help you as much as they have helped me.
Have a positive attitude.
Always think that you will succeed—failure is not an option. Think ahead so you never put yourself in a lose-lose situation. Plan your work, and then work your plan.
Success breeds success.
It’s important to put yourself in successful situations so you can build confidence and self-esteem. I always tell myself that I can be successful. This helps me keep a positive attitude. Even if something occurs that keeps me from achieving a goal on my timeline, I don’t give up, because I still have another chance to do it again. Find the people who are successful doing whatever it is that you want to do. Watch them, learn from them, and then do it.
You can’t choose to have a disability, but you can choose to accept it.
Attitude again. It might take a while, but once you accept the fact that you have a disability, figure out how you can be successful. There always is a way. Acceptance is one of the best ways to deal with something different.
Find a simple way to explain your disability to others.
I explain Tourette’s to my students by saying that there is something in my brain that causes me to make weird noises and funny faces. I ask them if there is something in their brains that makes them do something they can’t control. They may respond by saying that their brain tells them to talk or walk. Then I take it a step further and ask what their brains tell their eyes to do. We then discuss how they have to blink. By this time, kids usually have the basics of Tourette syndrome down cold. Adults often need a little more time. I start by telling them simply that Tourette syndrome is a neurological disorder that causes people to make noises and twitches they cannot control.
You can actually choose to think of your disability as a friend.
Tourette’s has made me who I am today and I have no desire to change that. In fact, I like to call TS my best friend. It has been with me during the good times and the bad. Just like best friends, we experience everything together, and I don’t think I would know how to live life without Tourette’s. On the one hand, it would be nice to get rid of it and see a movie in peace, or enjoy a meal at a restaurant without everyone looking at me, but on the other hand, TS has given me the challenges and personality that make me Brad. Having Tourette syndrome has made me the person I am today—it is part of me. I just needed to figure out how to move forward along with it. So, I decided to become a partner with Tourette’s and not let it stop me from being me.
Recast your disability as an opportunity.
The worst thing to me is when other people give me pity. I don’t want that and I don’t need it. What I want are opportunities, and just like for everyone else, some opportunities come more easily than others. I have made the choice not to look at TS as a disability, and I don’t want others to look at it as a disability. The opportunities I have been given because of TS have been plentiful. As I grew older, I realized that it was relatively easy for me to connect with children; they treated me differently than adults did. I discovered that children could be understanding and compassionate, and that they had no preconceived notions about Tourette’s. Once I told them, they understood. When I was a child, I did not have the verbal skills to educate other children about Tourette’s. My speeches at Camp Sabra and on the stage with Mr. Myer, along with my experiences in BBYO, helped me learn how to talk to others about Tourette’s.
Making a difference in children’s lives is something I take to heart. Growing up, I knew I wanted to be the teacher I never had—patient, compassionate, and willing to give every child a chance. I wanted to be there for every child when nobody else was there. Tourette syndrome has given me the vehicle to do that because I have been in the shoes of children with disabilities. Usually, I also connect easily with parents and teachers because I can share my personal experiences and help them work through their particular situations.
Be a role model.
I want my students to be not only good students but also good people. I try to be a role model for each child I work with. I want my students to look at me and say, “If Mr. Cohen can do it, then so can I.” No matter what disability or weakness I may have, I try my best to lead by example. I also show my students that community is important. Doing hands-on projects with children or getting involved with different organizations is important. Pursuing education beyond high school is essential. Three of the most important things I own are my diplomas. Each of them is framed and hangs high on the wall above my desk. People can lose money, or erase an important computer program, but no one can ever take away the knowledge gained from higher education. I hope each of my students will follow in my footsteps and attend the college of his or her choice.
Make no excuses!
Making excuses is easy—so easy, in fact, that some people do it regularly. I believe that once people start making excuses, they tell themselves that doing so is okay, but it is not. If you want others to treat you as they treat everyone else, then you have to prove to them that no task is too big or difficult. Other people watch you even when you think they aren’t watching. I don’t want people to see me making excuses, because years down the road they will remember that. A person with a disability often starts a little behind anyway. Other people don’t look at people with disabilities the same way they look at people without disabilities. As a matter of fact, people often think a person with a disability will use that disability as an excuse. You need to be the example that disproves this way of thinking.
It is okay to laugh about it.
Humor is important even in the most difficult times. I always joke that I’m not very good at playing hide-and-seek. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches, but if you take the lead and discover the ability to laugh, others will laugh with you and not at you. Laughing also shows that you are comfortable with your disability, and if you are comfortable, others around you will relax.
Advocate for yourself—be assertive.
It’s important for people to be advocates for themselves. Children—particularly those with disabilities—can be taught at a young age to let people know what they need. Children should not learn to be completely dependent on their parents, because their parents can’t always be there. At some point, you need to either do things yourself or ask someone to help you, so learn to be assertive to get what you need. Also, understand your rights. I knew, for example, that restaurants should not be kicking me out. Try to educate people and then fight for your rights. If you lose, be sure to follow up afterward with the right people—the management or owner. This is very important in our ongoing quest for education about our particular disabilities—so the same problems won’t happen again at the same places or with the same people. You can only combat ignorance with education.
Take the initiative—educate yourself about your disability and do what’s best for yourself or your loved ones.
If you have Tourette syndrome or any other disability, you must become an expert. When people ask me what TS is, I know the answers. Think about it—if you don’t know, then how can you expect others to understand? Learn the facts and get them straight. Practice short speeches that you may need to give, and when speaking or educating others, learn from your mistakes. You will get better. Even though you have a disability or a weakness, you can overcome it—I did!
Sometimes to overcome obstacles, you can just go around them.
Don’t ever allow something or someone to stand between you and your goals. If you come up against a brick wall, you don’t have to go through it. Go around it. Be creative and find a way. Talk to people; bring them on board as your allies. I had lots of people who helped me. You need your supporters, too.
Know who your true friends are, and let them know that you know.
I have learned that the people who truly see something special in me are the ones
who are there for me when I need them to be. They anticipate that I need them before I even ask. I have seen people want to celebrate my success with me, but I question where they were when I was struggling. When I was going through my tough times when I was younger, why were some people turning the other way and dodging me? I know who the special people are because they have been by my side when I have needed them to be there. Think about the people who are always there for you. These are your special people; these are the people who believe in you. They are the ones you should thank and express your gratitude to.
There is a story to be shared, and that story is yours.
As a teacher, I can’t always treat two kids exactly the same way, because each child is different. You don’t need to conform 100 percent to be the same as everyone else. What a boring world that would be! Every person is different, and it is important to find a teacher—or an employer—who is willing to allow you to be the best you can be. What works for one person may not work for the next. Be creative, and communicate to see what works.
Know your strengths and weaknesses.
I worked with a great writer to get my story into this book that has found its way into your hands. Everyone, regardless of ability or disability, has strengths and weaknesses. Know what yours are. Build on your strengths and find a way around your weaknesses. My strengths are my leadership skills, my outgoing personality, and my love for kids and for learning. My weaknesses include that I’m not a great reader, I don’t cook, and I don’t do well at hide-and-seek. I have found ways around these weaknesses: I listen to books on tape, I eat out a lot, and I have discovered that it is great fun to watch others play hide-and-seek.