She walked away, rubbing her arms as if she were chilled. Stopping in the middle of the small room, Sam could see her entire body shaking. Her eyes glistened with tears and rage. “Was there ever a baby?”
In her present condition, he didn’t think she was ready for his answer. But he owed her the truth. His voice held no emotion. “Yes. There was my son.”
She wiped her tears with trembling fingers. “Your son?”
He cleared his throat, fighting for words he wasn’t ready to say but knew he could no longer hide. If it helped her understand, he would relive his hell for no one other than Kate. “Six years ago, before you ran off to Europe, Robin told me I was the father of her baby.”
“Robin?”
“I got drunk the night you and I had that big fight about you going away to study. Robin was at the bar, too. She’d told me she’d always been jealous of you. As the evening wore on, she admitted to slipping something in my drink.” He looked away as he realized how lame that sounded. But it was the truth, and after all this time he felt like an ass for letting it happen.
He sighed. He might as well finish the story. Chances are it wasn’t going to make a difference anyway, but at least he was clearing the air. “She said it would make me feel better, help me get over you. I figured ‘what the heck’; I’d had more than enough beers. I might as well enjoy the high. Next thing I know I’m waking up with her in my bed.”
“Why are you telling me this? Is clearing your conscience supposed to make me feel better?”
“Of course not.” Sam felt fatigued as all the years of keeping this bottled up finally took its toll. He tried to touch her, but she skirted away. Out of desperation, he continued, “A month later when she told me about the baby, I took her in. I had to do the right thing. Four years later, I find out the boy isn’t mine at all.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Robin and I never even had sex that night. I didn’t find out until the real father came to town, and Robin took my son.” His voice cracked at the memory. “You know, I didn’t care Ben wasn’t mine biologically. I loved him.”
Kate stood quietly for a moment. She didn’t look good. He worried this was all too much for her to handle. She drew in a deep breath, and Sam watched the anger return to her face, full force.
“I’m sorry for your loss, but you’ve kept me from my own child. How could you do that, knowing how Robin made you feel?”
“I didn’t mean to. You’ve got to believe I didn’t want to.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. You said you never loved Robin, yet you took her in because of the baby. You find out you never conceived the child, but you can’t stand there and tell me you were celibate for the four years you lived together.”
His own anger flared. “We tried to make it work, Kate. Is there something wrong with that? I wanted to make a stable home for a boy I thought was mine. What do you care anyway? You found yourself a rich husband. So don’t make me the bad guy in all of this.”
“You are.”
“I only wanted to keep you safe.” He paused and reached to stroke her hair. “Things got out of hand. Before I knew it, I couldn’t get out.” She dipped her head away, a silken curl falling through his fingers. “You don’t understand, there are people after--”
She raised her palm to cut him off. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I can’t stay with you.”
“Kate, don’t go.” Everything was falling apart. He couldn’t let this happen, not this time, not this way. Those ice-blue eyes from that night at Jed’s Bar were back.
“I don’t belong with you. I belong with my daughter.” She turned to leave his office, and he grabbed her arm as she walked past.
“Tell me why you were running?”
“That’s none of your business,” she spat.
“You’ve made it my business.” His grip tightened. She tried to pull free, but he held on. “I don’t know what he ever did to you, but it must have been bad enough for you to leave him. Strange things have been happening, Kate. Weird calls, the accident at work. You have to let me help--”
“I don’t need your help, not now, not ever. Let me go.” He released her only to follow her out of the room.
“Give me a chance to explain,” he pleaded to her back as she reached the door.
“You’ve done enough.” Kate grabbed the handle of the front door and pulled it open. Sam backed away when the big oaf of a man filled the doorframe. “Paulie?” her voice still quivered.
“C’mon, Mrs. P., I’m here to take you home.”
Chapter Ten
Kate leaned back into the soft leather of the Mercedes, her head pounding from the many tears still waiting to fall. She was going home, not that she’d know what to do once she got there. With all of the memories bombarding her at once, she remembered how home had not been a very happy place. She didn’t have a home with Sam anymore. She never did. Thinking of what he’d done, her stomach clenched. She needed to get as far away from Sam as possible.
Feeling utterly abandoned, she groaned into her hands. Everything had been a lie. Everything except how she still felt about him. Knowing those feelings burned so deep after all this time had her wishing things were different. She remembered, all too well, this feeling of loss and wanting so desperately something you couldn’t ever have. Her heart was breaking in a million pieces when she swore six years ago she’d never allow him to hurt her again. Finding an inner strength, she turned to look behind. The cozy log cabin had long since vanished.
“That’s what you need to do, Sam Hackett. Vanish from my life forever.” The heaviness in her chest returned. She looked to the pile of crumpled tissues on the seat next to her and couldn’t imagine the ache in her heart ever going away after all of this. She hated this weakness in herself, but she’d always had it as far as Sam was concerned.
When Sam left her broken hearted and alone the first time, she’d found a bond with Dante she never thought possible. Dante had been patient while her heart healed. He’d taught her to trust and care, which was something she didn’t think she’d ever be able to open herself up to again. Dante had helped her become strong, only the Dante from yester-year had long since been devoured by the Santini family. A sob found its release as she thought not only of her own suffering, but that of her parents and Hope. While she’d played house with Sam, her family had been left wondering what became of her.
“I need to see my parents, Paulie.” She found her voice a bit unsteady. She didn’t know what she was going to say when she got there. The urgent need to hold her daughter found its way to the surface. She tried to focus on the passing scenery to sooth her overwrought nerves.
She’d missed the custody hearing. Her only hope was that her parents were able to persuade the judge to grant them custody on their daughter’s behalf. Would a judge even do that? Kate prayed they would. Her heart sank at the thought of Dante’s ruthlessness. He’d said he’d stop at nothing to get full custody of Hope. How far would he go?
They’d been on the highway for awhile when Kate noticed the exit signs were long past her parents’ house. She inhaled deeply to calm her racing heart. It took a moment before she felt steady enough to speak.
“Paulie, you missed the exit. We’ll need to turn around.”
“We’re good, Mrs. P.” The large man kept his eyes on the road.
“No, we’re not. I really need to see my mom and dad. They need to know I’m all right.”
“They will, Mrs. P. First we have to see the boss.”
Kate’s hands visibly shook. She fought hard against the sheer panic which was on the verge of consuming her. “I need... to see... my daughter.”
“You will, Mrs. P., real soon. She’s with the boss.”
***
Dante sat alongside his fellow captains, smoking cigars and playing poker. In the days of Kate’s absence, he’d grown accustomed to these nightly games at the Black Opal while Hope was tucked safely in bed under the supervision of the new nanny. Although the game
s did little to take his mind off his missing wife, his presence at the card table was helping him earn his place within the family. The other captains were beginning to accept him.
Joey had reported a couple days ago they’d found where Katrina had been staying. She’d actually shacked up with the man from the bar. Dante had been furious. Katrina belonged to him and no one else. The sooner she realized that, the better off she would be. Knowing he might kill the man, he’d sent Paulie to pick her up whether she was ready to leave or not. He’d make sure she never saw that guy again.
He knew the risks of keeping such information from Carlo, but he wanted to handle this himself. Everything would move forward as planned and his rise to the top would be immanent. He blew a puff of smoke and smirked as he threw two chips into the pot. She had a lot of explaining to do.
She was still the mother of his child. She had a reputation to uphold, even if they had been separated. Well, that would soon change. Once he gave Katrina her choices, she’d make the right one, he was sure of it.
Besides, she knew too much, and Carlo obviously considered her a threat. There was no telling what she told her lover. Maybe he should find the bum and take him out. Better safe than sorry. Well, he’d see what she had to say for herself after Paulie dragged her home. No matter how much she might want it, he wasn’t about to let her go now. She owed him for all of this stress and back peddling to cover her ass. Not to mention they needed to keep up appearances.
From behind the bar, Mick held up a telephone. “Hey, Dante, Paulie called. He says he’s on his way home with your package.”
Dante made excuses and headed for the door. He’d get home first to relieve the nanny. Perfect timing on Paulie’s part, Hope would be asleep so he and Kate would have the penthouse to themselves. Dante would make sure his lead man received a hefty bonus for this.
Not only would Carlo be pleased, but Rico would ease up and Dante could continue with the plans to take some time off in Milan. Static charged his nerves as he drove the Hummer through town. This was all working out to his advantage.
He didn’t know what he was going to say to Katrina. Everything he’d wanted to say since the day she served him with divorce papers came to mind. But no, he’d have to play it cool. Take his time, and state his case. She wouldn’t be happy about the situation he was offering. But frankly, she didn’t have a choice. Not anymore. They had an image to uphold, she had a debt to repay, and he’d make her pay dearly.
***
Kate had ridden the entire way to the penthouse with her hands fisted tight in her lap. Her chest ached, and her stomach churned. She’d barely survived six years ago. What was to become of her now?
As the car pulled through the gated lot, she flexed her cramped fingers. The familiar look of the building brought with it memories of happy times spent there. She sighed. Again, Dante was cleaning up after one of Sam’s messes. He’d rescue her, just as he had before.
Only this time she didn’t want to be rescued.
She hoped she could gather the strength she’d need to do the right thing and undoubtedly save herself. Her emotions were running rampant. The man she loved didn’t love her, while the man who once loved her led a life she didn’t want to be a part of. As much as she wished things could have been different with Sam, she knew she needed to take her daughter and build a new life for herself. A life far away from the lies and dangers.
She didn’t have time to dwell on that thought as the car pulled up to the curb. Anxiously checking her watch, disappointment weighed on her. Eight-forty, Hope would surely be asleep.
When had it gotten so late?
Her distress didn’t last long. At least she wouldn’t spend another night away from her daughter. She’d never meant to be separated from her in the first place. If she hadn’t had the accident, she would have come back home that same night. They’d never spend another night apart again, she’d see to it. Once she got upstairs and made sure Hope was all right, she’d call her mom and dad then call a cab. She’d scoop up Hope, and go back to their suite at the Waldorf, downtown. Tomorrow morning she’d call the judge and plead her case.
Under the glow of the entrance, she saw the unmistakable silhouette of Dante. He’d always looked commanding and strong, and tonight was no exception. A sharp pain at her temple brought with it the memories of their ugly and very publicized separation. What would the media say now?
Dante appeared instantly to open her door, surrounded by about a dozen paparazzi. Cameras flashed while microphones and digital recorders were shoved toward his face as they jumped from the shadows.
“Mr. Pizzaro, how does it feel to have your wife back?”
“Mrs. Pizzaro, where have you been all this time?”
“Mrs. Pizzaro, is it true you were with another man?”
“Mr. Pizzaro, is there reconciliation in the future? What about your daughter, does she know her mother is coming home?”
“Are you withdrawing the divorce?”
“Can we have a picture please?”
“What about your involvement with the Santini family?”
Dante helped her out of the car, pulling her close while they walked. She tensed slightly, but he didn’t seem to notice. The doorman opened the door in a grand gesture, a smile plastered on his face even though his eyes held shock. “Welcome home, Mrs. P.”
“Thank you, Gary.”
Dante handed Gary a wad of bills. “Send someone to get those vultures some coffee. I’m sure they’ll be out there all night.”
“Sure thing, Sir.”
Kate smiled at the recognizable hum from the gabled elevator as it opened its doors for them. With Dante’s arm still around her, they entered the penthouse. She walked silently from room to room. Her gaze paused at all the familiar objects: marble statues from Paris, crystal decanters from Austria, the original Ansel Adams hanging in the breakfast nook. Everything was in its place.
It’s as if I never left.
The chocolate-brown leather sofa sat waiting for her, overlooking the city skyline. She didn’t have to think twice to know the kitchen walls were painted buttercup, and there was not only a coffee maker but a cappuccino machine, too. Upstairs, there was no locked door.
Even in this place, she saw Sam everywhere she looked. For a brief moment she wished she could share this side of her life with him but then promptly reminded herself of what he’d done. When would she get it through her head he never loved her?
As if sensing her struggle, Dante took her hand, but she gently slid it out. The media was no longer watching. He scowled and then motioned toward the spiral staircase. Crossing her arms to ward off the chill, she followed him and struggled to hold in tears as he cracked open the door to Hope’s bedroom. She slipped past him and tiptoed to her bedside.
Kate fought the urge to wake her. Brushing back the hair from her face, she kissed the sleeping child’s forehead. Hope stirred slightly. “Mommy’s back, angel. I love you.” She tucked the blanket up under Hope’s chin then turned to leave.
She looked across the hall to the master suite, feeling a catch in the pit of her stomach. She stopped just outside the door, peeping inside. No post and beam construction, no pine wood headboard. Yet there was Sam once again.
Stop doing this. What he did was unforgivable. He doesn’t belong here, and neither do you.
She started down the stairs in front of Dante, feeling his eyes on her as her hand glided along the railing. Walking into the kitchen, she reached for the phone. If her plan was going to work, she needed to stick to it.
“What are you doing?” At the commanding tone of Dante’s voice, she dropped the phone into its cradle and spun around.
“I was calling my parents. They need to know I’m okay.”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’d rather do it tonight.” She could feel her insides quiver. “It will only take a minute, then I’ll call a cab so Hope and I won’t be in your way.”
“No.”
“Dante,
I won’t stay here. It’s been over between us for a long time. You know that.” She swallowed hard at his intense stare.
“It doesn’t have to be. What about the paparazzi? What do you think they will say?”
“I don’t care. They can say whatever they want. I’m taking my daughter and going home. Where’s her coat?” Kate brushed past him toward the living room.
His words were like a slap in the face. “You left me. Don’t do it again.”
“I left you a year ago, and you know damn well why.”
“And I’m telling you now, don’t do it again.”
“You have no hold on me. I’m still going through with the divorce. Nothing has changed.” She couldn’t let him see her fear. Her entire body shivered inside as she fought to stay on her feet.
“You seem different.” He narrowed his eyes to study her. She looked away before the nervous laugh bubbled out.
“Different?”
“What happened to you? Did that man hurt you?”
She kept her gaze fixed at the floor, finding it almost comical for him to ask such a question. “No.”
Dante moved closer, his six foot frame towering over her. “Tell me what happened.”
“I lost my memory, Dante, that’s what happened.” Her eyes found his. She couldn’t keep the tension from her voice. “I didn’t know who I was or what I had. I could only remember bits and pieces of my past. A past that included Sam.”
“Your old lover, Sam?” Dante grabbed her shoulders so she had no choice but to stay focused on him. “What exactly did you remember?”
“Dante, let go.” Kate winced from the pain of his grip. “It’s not that easy to explain.”
His eyes bore into hers, and he continued his hold. “You must have been enjoying yourself. You apparently didn’t remember how much he hurt you.”
“I didn’t remember how much you hurt me, either.” She didn’t like the look she saw in his eyes. “Please let me go.” She relaxed when he loosened his hold. A slight glimpse of concern crossed his chiseled features.
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