There was something in the way the sunlight sparkled through Hope’s crystal blue eyes which sent a shiver up Kate’s spine. Maybe she’d never allowed herself to notice before, but now, as Hope skipped along so unaware; Kate could see how much her daughter resembled Sam.
Kate slowed her steps in order to observe more. She felt guilty for denying herself this simple pleasure of comparing the child to the father. Then again, she’d denied the father his child. Six years ago, she’d had no choice. When Sam publicly acknowledged Robin’s baby, Kate didn’t dare come forward with her own suspicions of being pregnant. She had been hopeful all of the emotional stress was causing her to be late. She’d been too afraid to take a home test and had left for Europe, still not one-hundred percent sure.
Kate fisted her hands at her sides and willed herself to stop the dreaming and concentrate on the present, no matter how hard it would be. A life with Sam wasn’t in the cards. After delivering Hope safely to the hands of Sister Agnes, Kate decided to make a quick trip to the market. Maybe if she baked and made her famous meatballs, Hope would forget about going out to dinner. And maybe, if she kept busy enough, she’d convince herself to get past what happened and move on with her life. After Dante’s threats, she knew that would never happen. By forcing her into this charade Dante now called the shots, but not for long. She’d soon find a way to stand on her own, even if she had to play the game.
Then I can forget I ever laid eyes on—
“Sam!” She turned the corner and stood toe to toe with the one man she would never forget. She needed to be strong. She needed to keep walking. She froze.
The electricity of his nearness was like a live wire zapping through her body. His ocean-blue eyes sparkled, just like Hope’s had, while he stared down at her. He looked like he needed a shave. He looked like he hadn’t slept, either. He looked wonderful. And she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.
He grabbed her elbow. “We need to talk.”
“Let go.” Jerking her arm free, she quickly glanced over her shoulder. “Paulie isn’t far behind me. There could be trouble if you’re around.” And more photos in the paper I’m not ready to explain.
“I don’t care. I’ll deal with Paulie and your husband and anyone else who tries to stand in our way.”
This time his fingertips brushed down the sleeve of her blouse. He didn’t touch her, but he might as well have by the way her arm burned beneath the silk.
“Stand in our way? What are you talking about?” She sidestepped, making a beeline for the store. She couldn’t be this close to him.
“Kate, please,” he caught up to her in two long strides, “I know you don’t totally hate me or you wouldn’t have stopped to talk to me. Ten minutes, that’s all I’m asking. There’s a lot I need to explain.”
Kate checked her watch, passing their connection off to any prying eyes as just a stranger asking the time. She knew she should go about her business and leave him, but she couldn’t. Disgusted with her weakness, she exhaled, putting her hands at her sides.
“Fine, you have your ten minutes. Don’t make me regret giving them to you.”
Instead of going into the store as planned, she entered a small coffee shop. Her nerves prickled as she didn’t think Paulie had seen them go in, but she wasn’t sure about the photographer. To play it safe, she chose a small table in the back. For as much as she knew the danger of being seen with him, she couldn’t turn him away. Being this close again thrilled her.
***
Sam hoped like hell he could get through to her. Sure, he’d asked for ten minutes but he didn’t believe he had that long. Either she’d get mad and walk away, or the big gorilla he’d noticed tailing her would storm in.
“I know what I did was wrong. I should never have kept the truth from you. I started out to protect you, but in the end I didn’t want to lose you.”
“But you ended up losing me, didn’t you.” She fiddled with a paper napkin lying in front of her on the terracotta tiled table, and he resisted the urge to hold her hands.
“Yeah, for the second time in my life.”
“The first time was your choice. You opted out.”
“You left for Europe.”
“I was ready to stay, until word spread Robin was pregnant with your baby. A baby you didn’t deny. What was I supposed to do, stick around and come to the wedding?”
“I didn’t marry her, Kate. I couldn’t. I wasn’t in love with her.” He reached his hand across the table to touch her fingers. She flinched slightly but didn’t pull her hand away. “I was in love with you.”
She stared at his hand on hers. “It was too complicated back then. I hurt so much, and you didn’t seem to care.”
“I cared. I told Robin I’d do whatever she needed me to do, but I was committing myself to you. I came to tell you, but your dad wouldn’t let me see you. You wouldn’t return my calls, either. Next thing I know, you’d left town.”
Kate seemed thoughtful as she kept her gaze on their hands. “Daddy gave me some extra money and told me to go early to have some fun before classes started.” She sighed and raised her head. “You still could have found a way to reach me.”
“And do what? Follow you to Italy? I didn’t have that kind of cash. My business was just starting out. I needed to stay here. Robin moved in, we had the baby and became a family.”
“How lovely for you.” She sounded bitter and pulled her hand from his and scanned the small room.
He couldn’t blame her. So far he’d succeeded in making her remember all the bad stuff. He found himself feeling resentful when he spoke. “Hey, it didn’t take you long to get over me, now did it?” His words forced her to look at him. “Yeah, that’s right. You found Mr. GQ to parade around Italy with, marry and have a baby of your own. Don’t think I didn’t see and hear about all the times you and your family made the front page of the paper, ‘Miss high-society.’ So don’t go making me out to be the bad guy in all this. You ran away.”
“Not by choice.” She shifted her gaze toward the list of lunch specials on the stand-up menu.
He studied her while she continued to look anywhere but at him. When she finally did focus on him, those pale blue eyes smoldered.
“I certainly couldn’t stay in a town where the man I loved shacked up with some insecure bimbo. I had standards.”
“They were your father’s, not yours.”
“Don’t bring my father into this. You can stop now. Your ten minutes are up.” She started to rise, but he grabbed her wrist.
“I won’t stop. Not until you understand.” The confusion splattered across her face had him stumbling to find the right words, knowing he was out of time. “I thought I was doing the right thing with Robin. And in doing so it cost me you.” He released her and stood to block her exit. “That’s something I will always regret.” He paused a moment to make eye contact. “When I found out the boy wasn’t really mine, it damn near killed me.” At the memory of the pain, his gaze fell to his work boots. “I’d lost all this time, time I could have been with you.” His gaze moved from her designer boots, to her pressed black slacks and red silk blouse which pulled ever so slightly around her breasts, until he found her eyes once more. “Time I should have spent winning you back.”
“Oh Sam.” She took his hands and pulled him back in his seat. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you get it? You blew into Jed’s that night, and I knew it was a sign. I never should have lost you.”
“I feel sorry for you.” She avoided his face again, and he about fell out of his chair. “We are so over. It’s not about belief anymore. It’s about trust. After what you did, I don’t think I could ever trust you.”
“How can you say that? I would never hurt you willingly.”
“But you’ve hurt me twice already, and that’s twice too much. All because I dared to believe.”
“I’ll protect you from whatever it is you were running from. I won’t let them hurt you. You’ll be safe with me.”
�
��No, Sam. It’s not our time anymore. I appreciate you taking the time to--”
“You appreciate?” He raised his voice. “Don’t brush me off, princess. I’m not one of those goons you can order around.” By the look on her face, he knew he should tone it down or shut up, but he couldn’t. He spat out the words as if they were poison, and the first twinge of doubt crept in. “Apparently you’re not the woman I thought you were.”
When he rose to leave, it was her hand that made him stop. The heat from her touch burned under his skin. His first instinct was to pull her to him, but that wouldn’t be happening any time soon.
“It’s been a long time. People change,” she said in a tone so soft his blood pressure surged.
“Riight. Not that much.” He tore his hand away. “Do us both a favor.”
“What’s that?” She raised her brows.
“Think on what I’ve said. I’m betting somewhere deep inside yourself you know what I’m talking about.” He held up a finger before she could object. “Think about what you were running from a month ago. Think about how you really feel. Think about us.” Without another word he headed for the door. By the time he passed the front counter, she’d caught up and pulled on his shirt.
“Sam?”
He stopped at the sound of his name on her lips, but not before he saw the morning edition staring at him from the news stand. He swiped the paper and held it for her to see. “What’s this? Is it true?” He didn’t like the way she avoided his eyes. That small action spoke volumes.
“I, I’ve tried to tell you. Why won’t you listen to me?” She looked around as if she expected to see someone else. “My life is different now. It--”
“A month ago you were running scared. What happened? Did he threaten you?” The thought of Mr. GQ laying his hands on Kate made Sam think all sorts of crazy thoughts.
“This is my life, Sam. It’s none of your business now.”
“I think it is.” He waited for a response, but she continued to avoid his eyes. “So you’re really back with him?” He couldn’t hide the bitterness as bile rose in his throat. Kate took a deep breath, and for a moment he thought she would deny it. She glanced at the paper in his hands and finally to his face.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
She stood there looking innocent enough, but there was something else in her eyes he couldn’t place. Why would she lie to him? He’d been upfront about everything, so why did he feel like she was hiding something. Frustrated, he shoved the paper into her hands.
“You know what you have to do.”
Without her denial, he prayed like hell he’d gotten to her in time. He gave her a nod and walked out, disappearing among the crowd that bustled down the street.
***
Kate wasn’t sure how long she stood in the coffee shop doorway. She’d watched Sam’s blond head blend in with the many others going about their daily business. She’d wanted to go after him. He said he’d loved her. He’d never loved Robin, never married Robin. She still couldn’t believe it.
If only it were that easy to pack up and be with him. But it wasn’t. He may have loved her six years ago, but he couldn’t love her now. If he did, he wouldn’t have done the things he’d done. In addition, she had Dante to consider. He’d set the rules, and she had no choice.
She continued her walk home, trying to convince herself she’d done the right thing with Sam. There’d been a time when she would have happily returned to him. She remembered all too well the days of wishing he’d contact her. He never did, and she’d moved on. Now she needed to move on again, tuck Sam Hackett back into the depths of her heart for good this time. Somehow she’d find the strength to do what she had to and forget he’d ever come back, no matter what her heart kept screaming.
When she walked into the penthouse, Dante sat at the granite wet bar looking troubled. “You’re home early,” she commented, trying to collect her emotions before he suspected something was wrong. “I bought some of Hope’s favorites for dinner, but I have to warn you, she wants Pizza Factory.” She passed by and busied herself in the kitchen where she could still see him through the interior wall cut-out.
“That’s fine, Trina, whatever. We need to talk.”
Moments later, she rounded the end of the bar, feeling confident. “We do need to talk. But first I need to talk to you about our arrangements.”
“What about them?” He poured a small amount of scotch into a glass. She’d never seen him drink this early in the day and wondered what had happened to spark this behavior.
“I don’t think this is very realistic or fair.” She watched him down the drink and pour another. “I can’t go around lying to people. We need to make up some ground rules, not just your rules.”
“I see. So you’re not happy with my rules?” He poured a larger amount and swallowed it all.
“No, I’m not. I can’t live like this. I can’t live here with you.” She took the bottle from him before he could pour another.
“Ah, but you will. We’ve been over this already, Trina.”
“You can’t keep me here in hopes I’ll fall back in love with you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.
“No. I want our daughter’s safety.” Dante snatched the bottle back and took a long draw of scotch.
“Don’t make this about Hope. This has nothing to do with her. This is about you controlling me.” She felt like pouring a drink of her own. That feeling in her stomach was getting worse by the minute.
“Don’t question me.” His stare was cold, his voice like a sword.
“I don’t like what this has done to you.” In a flash of memory she saw the man she’d grown to love. They’d had a good life until he became involved as an attorney for the Santini family. Slowly he’d started to change, until he became someone she didn’t know. Someone she didn’t like. Someone she didn’t trust.
“I make my own decisions, Trina. I chose this, and I like the power I have. And I do control you, my dear. I’ll be watching your every move. Don’t think about leaving me again.” Dante strode to the window to look out over the city. “You could be in danger.”
“Danger? How can I be in danger when I have Paulie constantly with me?” She gave a weak laugh.
“Carlo doesn’t trust you. I don’t know if I can trust you. You threatened to leave me, and then you did. You wanted to divorce me and threatened to expose the family. You had the accident. You know too much.”
“What?” Her head was spinning. She felt like she was sinking. Blood pounded in her ears, and her mouth became dry.
“If you leave the family, Carlo would rather kill you and Hope than know you are free to say whatever you want.”
“Hope? She’s an innocent child.” The thought of her daughter being in real danger was enough she should admit defeat. She stood, putting herself between him and the window. “I never intended to get in that accident and lose my memory.”
“Did you intend to meet him?”
“Of course not.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“Believe what you want, Dante. You always do.”
“Don’t be bitter, Trina, it’s not flattering.”
“Ha, that’s a laugh. You’re keeping me here against my will. That’s not flattering of you, either.”
“I’m not forcing you to stay. There is no gun to your pretty little head.”
“There might as well be with the choices you’ve given me.”
What she wanted didn’t matter enough. She rounded the bar and poured herself a Cognac. What Kate saw in his dark brown eyes scared her. Dante’s silence was her confirmation. If she wanted out, she’d have to make her own way, and quickly.
Everything Sam had said about believing and thinking came crashing over her. She’d known the whole way home Sam had been right. It had taken until now to admit it to herself. As she stood before Dante she knew more than ever the truth had to be told. For six years she�
�d kept a secret. For six years she’d been no better than Sam.
“Hope is Sam’s child.”
“What?” Dante stepped back, his eyes wide. “Your ex-lover? The man who practically kidnapped you?”
“Yes. But he didn’t kidnap me.”
“You went willingly. Did you think you were going to leave me for him? Why isn’t he here with you now?”
“He doesn’t know about her, and I want my daughter to be safe.”
“After everything I’ve done for you, was it all a lie?” She thought she heard sadness in his voice as he raked his hand through his thick black hair.
“You knew when we met I was trying to get over someone.”
“Yes.”
“Within a month you knew I was pregnant.”
“We’d made love, Trina, I thought the child was mine. You led me to believe it was mine.” She could see his anger growing. Now was her turn to be truthful, even if it didn’t change things.
“I wasn’t sure at first. I’d been under so much stress at home before coming with Francesca to Milan. You were so wonderful to me. It was so easy to fall for you.” Her voice trailed off, and she gazed out across the city sky. “I let myself fall for you. I wanted that security you made me feel. When we were together and made love, you helped me forget the pain and sorrow from home. Then, when I knew for sure I was pregnant, I didn’t know whose baby it was. I was alone in a foreign country, Dante, I was scared.” Kate kept her back to him for fear that if she saw his face she would be too afraid to continue. “You were so happy when I told you. I didn’t dare mention the thought that it could be Sam’s.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered, Trina. I loved you and would have loved the baby regardless. You didn’t have to lie to me.” Dante’s voice held not emotion, as if he’d been taken back in time but just now seeing the times of truth.
“But I couldn’t.” Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered struggling to tell him but being afraid he would leave her, too. “You talked of the life we would have, the places we would go and the more children we would have. You saved me from being an unwed mother, from facing my father. Back then, I was totally in love with the idea of being your wife.”
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