Xenophobe's Guide to the Italians

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Xenophobe's Guide to the Italians Page 6

by Martin Solly


  In Italy ‘mafia’ covers several different bodies each ruling over a well-defined territory, the main ones being the Camorra in the region around Naples, the ’Ndrang-heta in Calabria (the tip of the boot), the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia (the heel), and Cosa Nostra in Sicily; but whatever its name, they mean the criminal organisation.

  Mafia in all its local forms has for centuries been a way of life in the South of Italy – except for some for whom it has been a way of death. The reason for its success is simple enough: in the absence of a recognisable or effective government, it was the only organised system ordinary people could refer to when they needed say, a permit to work or to get married.

  “Most Italians are terrified and fascinated by the mafia at one and the same time.”

  Most Italians are terrified and fascinated by the mafia at one and the same time. They know its tentacles of power reach to the highest levels in politics and business since the mafia have always specialised in making offers that cannot be refused, knowing that everything and everyone has their price. They also know that the code of omertà (silence) is so strong that the odds are that the mafia will never be defeated, and every time one of its tentacles is lopped off, hydra-like others will grow again, stronger than before.

  The mafia is seen as a cancer that is slowly destroying the Italian state. The Italians have to live with it and alongside it, a state within a state, sharing their country with it as they always have done. And yet they secretly believe that, just as the right treatment in time might be able to cure a tumour, sooner or later the right treatment will be found and administered in time to defeat the mafia.

  “Luckily, the closest most Italians will ever get to the real thing is the latest gripping episode on television.”

  Much of the time the mafia is divided, as its various families fight out their latest power struggle in time-honoured ways. Dark-suited men carrying violin cases still burst into barbers’ shops in the back streets of Palermo and gun down the bosses of rival clans. Luckily, the closest most Italians will ever get to the real thing is the latest gripping episode of one of the many highly popular television series on Italy’s organised crime, such as Distretto di Polizia (Police Precinct) which replaced La Piovra (The Octopus).

  Business

  The Italian industrial and financial system is suffering the after-effects of some major scandals: two of them as a result of the collapse of food chain giants Cirio and Parmalat; two of them involving the bungled attempt to prevent two of Italy’s banks from being taken over by the Dutch and Spanish.

  Business in the private sector in Italy is dominated by a handful of leading families, such as Agnelli (cars), Pirelli (tyres), Del Vecchio (eyeware), Della Valle (shoes), Berlusconi (TV channels) and Benetton (clothes). Although their companies are, in fact, vast conglomerates with a wide diversity of interests, they are run more like family businesses than multi-national corporations. Power tends to be kept within the family group by a series of cross-holdings. There is no similar concentration of power in any other western country.

  “Italy is perhaps the only country in the world where employees appear to earn more than their employers, or so it would seem from their tax declarations.”

  The success of the Italian economy is also based on the skills, hard work and dynamism of the small and medium-sized companies in the North that produce a large part of the country’s GNP. They are also mostly family-run businesses, organised in such a way as to minimise the payment of taxes and national insurance contributions. Italy is perhaps the only country in the world where employees appear to earn more than their employers, or so it would seem from their tax declarations. Similarly, professional people and craftsmen, like accountants, goldsmiths, dentists and lawyers, have few qualms about declaring subsistence level earnings while maintaining two or three houses, a race horse and three yachts.

  The Italian job

  “Every Italian mother dreams that her children, especially her male children, will achieve lo starbene – a state of physical and mental well-being in their work.”

  Every Italian mother dreams that her children, especially her male children, will achieve lo starbene – a state of physical and mental well-being in their work. What this generally entails is finding lavoro fisso (a steady job) in the air-conditioned office of a government department or government-owned bank or company and looking good behind a big desk. Though not particularly well-paid, these jobs entitle their holders to 13 or even 14 months’ salary a year and offer all sort of perks including almost total job security and the possibility of retiring early on a full pension. Best of all, they are usually so undemanding that their holders can concentrate most of their energies on the family business, or on whatever really interests them: watching football, collecting stamps or just sitting, sipping coffee, reading comics. Too bad that the lavoro fisso is becoming ever harder to find as the Italian system falls into step with work practices elsewhere in the EU, it still remains the objective of most young Italians and, of course, their mothers.

  Life in the average Italian office is like Italian life in general. Style and behaviour are important, and managerial and office staff should, of course, look and act the part. Punctuality has been taken a little more seriously since the advent of clocking in and out of work.

  Office hours can be very long in the private sector (8.00 a.m. – 7.30 p.m. with only half an hour for lunch). However, things are very different in the public sector: some offices are only open to the public for two hours a week, and others are never open at all.

  “Strikes in Italy reveal Italian passion, patience and resourcefulness at its collective best.”

  Many of the public holidays that Italians took for Saint’s Days have now been surrendered, so the practice of ponti (building ‘bridges’ between the weekend and a national holiday) assumes greater importance. Holidays are planned long in advance so as to be able to link them to public holidays. This is why Italian strikes usually take place on Mondays or Fridays.

  Strikes in Italy reveal Italian passion, patience and resourcefulness at its collective best. The autostrada and railways will be occupied, rubbish not collected and hunger strikes started – the nation will seem to be on the verge of chaos – and then an unexpected compromise will be reached when none seemed possible. Everyone will claim victory, no-one will be seen to lose face, and the situation will return to normal. Everybody will have enjoyed the strike.

  Typically, when the La Scala orchestra went on strike on the opening night of the 1995 season, the conductor had a grand piano brought on stage and he and the soloists performed the whole concert without the orchestra, to rapturous applause.

  Patronage

  Patronage, or raccomandazione, along with its trading of favours, jobs and influence, is part and parcel of Italian business life. At its worst it prevents things from growing in a healthy way; at its best it is a kind of old boy network that is necessary in a country where little, in terms of real qualifications, is quite what it seems.

  “Patronage along with its trading of favours, jobs and influence, is part and parcel of Italian business life.”

  In order to ensure fair play in the distribution of jobs in the public sector, and in an attempt to curb the problem of raccomandazione, the Italian authorities organise job competitions, when jobs are advertised and then candidates sit an exam to decide who are the most suitable for the job. When there are not too many candidates the system works reasonably well, but when 14,000 people applied to become dustmen in the region of Lombardy, the situation became more complicated. Undismayed, le autorità took over the local football stadium for the day and brought in desks and chairs from the schools.

  Never mind the fact that the ‘recommended’ candidates will probably have been told the questions beforehand and that the great majority of candidates will be cheating as hard as they can, justice must not so much be done as be seen to be done.

  Systems

  Education

  Compared with the
educational systems of other countries, the Italians seem to have got theirs the wrong way round. The country of Maria Montessori, Italy’s best schools are probably its pre-schools, after which things seem to gradually regress through elementary, middle and high schools into a somewhat disorderly university system.

  “After pre-schools, things seem to gradually regress.”

  Small children spend most of their day at school, but as they get older schooling becomes limited to mornings only. High schools are specialised and students study a variety of classical, scientific and technical subjects, depending on the specialisation they have chosen.

  Admission to Italian universities is comparatively easy and, since few faculties restrict the number of students enrolling on courses, vast numbers enrol. The University of Rome, for example, is the largest in the European Union. As a result, courses are overcrowded and facilities inadequate. The fact that under a quarter of all those who matriculate in the universities actually graduate is perhaps a fair reflection of the inherent problems.

  Many Italians are very well-educated, despite the idiosyncrasies of the system. Or perhaps because of them. They like the idea of studying and spend hours/weeks/months slaving over textbooks, highlighters in hand, learning the key sentences and concepts by heart. They are then tested in the oral exam, the interrogazione, parroting all they have learned. Critical comment by students is not welcomed. A repetition of the teacher’s or professor’s own views and comments is regarded as the best approach – a hangover from the Counter-Reformation when the wrong answer might have led you to the stake.

  “There are no limits to the number of times students can take exams. Life-long learning is no novelty in Italy.”

  There are no limits to the number of times students can take exams, and some will refuse to accept a mark they don’t consider good enough. As the only limitation to staying at the university is the payment of annual fees, some students continue studying well into middle age. Life-long learning is no novelty in Italy.

  Examinations are mostly oral (perhaps because cheating is so rife in written exams). Italians fear that the other candidates in an exam will cheat and so they will cheat too. Cheating is considered more or less acceptable, but being caught cheating is not.

  Transport

  Italy’s public transport system is generally quick and efficient, in spite of the country’s difficult terrain and crowded cities. The Italian autostradas and rail network are among the most impressive feats of engineering in Europe, passing under mountains and over river valleys to link the various parts of Italy.

  “All Italians are individually perfect, but all Italians know that gli altri (other Italians) are imperfect.”

  Trains usually run to schedule, despite the absence of an authoritarian government. One of Mussolini’s more successful moves, and perhaps the only one he is universally remembered for, was persuading people that his government improved the efficiency of public transport; research has since proved that it made little or no impact on it at all, with trains being just as punctual in the periods before and during his regime as after it.

  Crime & Punishment

  All Italians are individually perfect, but all Italians know that gli altri are imperfect. So Italian criminal law starts from the premise that you are guilty until you are proved innocent.

  Italian criminals have few worries because the chances of being caught are very slim. The perpetrators of 83% of all crimes committed have yet to be brought to book, including 97% of theft, 64% of homicide, 86% of robbery and 72% of kidnapping.

  “Italian criminals have few worries because the chances of being caught are very slim.”

  Punishment tends to involve either fines or imprisonment or both. Although Italian prisons are generally overcrowded and not particularly pleasant places to spend time, they are more comfortable than those in northern Europe and the United States. Indeed, conditions for imprisoned mafia bosses are said to be pretty cushy thank you, and are regularly criticised in public for being so.

  “Conditions for imprisoned mafia bosses are said to be pretty cushy.”

  Italians are brilliant conmen who always manage to find people ready to risk their all to make a quick buck. They are expert copiers and counterfeiters, and have long dominated the traffic in art works. The fact that there is no guarantee that the works are the real thing, and may well be stolen or faked by a craftsman, only adds to the spice of the trade. Whether the buyer is looking for a Roman vase or a Modigliani sculpture, the illegal Italian art world will find him what he wants. Italian politicians have themselves set the example of corrupt behaviour by accepting vast bribes for fixing government contracts. The Italians chose to ignore this until the government of the day made the fatal mistake of muffing it – thus changing status in a flash from furbo to fesso.

  The police

  There is a different police force for every occasion in Italy. There are national police, local police, traffic police, military police, financial police, railway police, secret police, private police, and so on.

  “There is a different police force for every occasion in Italy.”

  The carabinieri are the most evident of Italy’s police forces. Indeed, they are often involved in military as well as police activities. Despite the fact that it is extremely difficult to join their ranks, and that their officers are supposed to be the best in the Italian armed forces, they are not famed for their shining intellectual prowess. As a result, they are the butt of many Italian jokes. For example:

  In the middle of a lively conversation on a train, someone asked, “By the way, have you heard the latest joke about the carabinieri?” A gentleman sitting opposite visibly stiffened, saying, “Before you continue, I should perhaps point out that I am a retired General of the Carabinieri.” “Don’t worry, sir, we’ll explain it to you later.”

  The law

  Italy’s legal traditions are impressive and the country has a vast array of wonderful laws, to prevent any kind of injustice, inequality or corruption. On paper the Italian legal system, with its written civil and penal codes, seems more or less perfect.

  “Italy’s laws would be perfect without the Italians, who pay little attention to most of them.”

  The problems start with law enforcement. Italy’s laws would be perfect without the Italians, who pay little attention to most of them. For example, although seatbelts are compulsory, few actually wear them (in some parts of Italy their introduction led to a roaring trade in T-shirts with seatbelts printed on them). The use of car horns is officially prohibited in built-up areas, where the maximum speed limit is 30 miles per hour, but these regulations are by and large completely ignored by both the public and the police, although the police will enforce them occasionally, especially when they see people driving cars with foreign or out-of-town number plates.

  Because of the very serious difficulties the Italian government has in collecting taxes, a whole series of laws exists to make sure regulations are respected. For example, until recently receipts issued by bars and restaurants as proof of payment had to be carried a minimum of 50 metres before being thrown away.

  Language

  “Until the end of the Second World War Italian was not widely spoken.”

  Until the end of the Second World War Italian was not widely spoken. It was essentially a written language, mainly used by administrators and bureaucrats and a small caste of academics and the then members of the ruling class. The advent of television was a prime force in spreading it, and these days most Italians understand Italian and all young Italians speak it.

  One of the many beauties of the language is the ease with which dimension, value or meaning can be altered by simply changing the ending of nouns and adjectives. Thus, a shoe (scarpa) can become Cinderella’s slipper (scarpina) or a skiing/hiking boot (scarpone); but doing a scarpetta (‘filling a little shoe’) means dunking a bit of croissant in one’s coffee.

  A love (amore) can become a sweetheart (amoroso), or a cupid (amorin
o), or a mistress (amante). Italian men who hear of a bella donna, a beautiful woman, will wonder if she is in fact bellissima (stunning) or just bellina (quite pretty); maybe she is a bellona (well past her prime, but still a poser) or perhaps she is belloccia (passable, in all senses of the word). And is she worth very little (donnetta) or will she charge a fee (donnaccia)? The only way for the Latin lover to find out is by having a go, unless he is a donnicciola – one who is too timorous to try.

  Italian has bequeathed to the world a vast number of musical terms: pianoforte, sonata, aria, primadonna, concerto, adagio, pizzicato, pianissimo, soprano, maestro, virtuoso and castrato. And restaurants worldwide offer pasta, pizza, mozzarella, zabaglione, grissini, cappuccino, amaretto and sambuca.

  “The local dialects or languages can be almost impossible for Italians in other regions to understand.”

  For their part, the Italians have adopted and adapted English/American words with huge enthusiasm – lifting (face-lift), telemarketing, cliccare sul mouse (to click on the mouse), lo zapping (channel hopping). They also use English words that English-speakers would hardly recognise: for example, Italian football stars invariably refer to their trainers as ‘il Mister’. English words are even invented and then exported, sometimes with surprising success, such as ‘body’, which threatens to replace leotard.

  Dialects

  But when they are at home in their villages Italians speak the local dialects or languages, which can be almost impossible for gli altri in other regions to understand. One survey found that of the E.U.’s 28 minority language communities, 13 were in Italy. There are French-speaking Italians in the Aosta Valley, German-speaking Italians in the Alto Adige, Slovene- and Serbo-Croat-speaking Italians in Trieste, and Albanian- and Greek-speaking Italians in Puglia, while in Sardinia there are Catalan-speaking Italians. However, with the influx of immigrants, the language map of Italy is changing. The census form is accompanied by ‘How to fill it in’ instructions in multiple languages, including Arabic and Russian.

 

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