“Eggs?” he asked suspiciously.
“Never mind,” I said, looking back out across the field. This was nice, me and Amir, in the park. I could stay up here all day long. “Do you run that long every day?”
“I try to,” he said, relaxing again. “It’s good exercise. It gives me an excuse to get out of the store and hang in the park. I do my best work up here.”
I could feel Amir’s eyes on me, like a zoomed-in telescope, only he was close enough to touch. I was happy to have his attention. I put up my hand to block his view and he laughed.
“You’re beautiful,” he said quietly. I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear him the first time, so he’d say it again. “I don’t mean to stare, but you are.”
Beautiful. Only my mom and dad and Tilly had ever said that to me, and they didn’t really count. Somehow it sounded different coming from Amir’s mouth, more meaningful, sweeter even. I watched him for a minute. I liked the strong line of his jawbone and the small hairs around his top lip.
“Thank you,” I said. He kept his eyes on me, dark, round, and powerful eyes, like he was examining every inch of my body. I was drawn in by their power and wanted to know more about him, his whole life story. A small scream from the trail nearby jolted us back to the park.
A little boy tripped in front of us and fell onto a rock. His left roller skate was stuck and he wiggled his ankle back and forth until it was free. The boy rubbed his sore knees and let Amir pull him up so he was standing again.
“Hey, you okay, little guy?” Amir asked. “Be careful going back down the hill.”
The kid smiled and rolled back to meet his family, who had stopped to wait for him not far away. His parents waved and mouthed “thank you.” Amir came back and sat down next to me, closer than he had been before, and nudged me with his shoulder. I dramatically pretended to fall off my side of the bench. He laughed and pulled me closer to him with both arms.
“My hero,” I sang, teasing him.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked. “So, I guess now I get a reward, huh?”
The hairs on my arm stood straight up and rubbed against his and tickled me like feathers. All of a sudden I was very aware of the sun and heat beating down on us from above. I could feel sweat forming on my forehead and the back of my neck. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, just as Amir leaned in and kissed me.
It must have been a dream, but when I opened my eyes he was there, pulling his lips gently off of mine. His lips were soft and felt nice. They tasted salty like nuts or lightly buttered popcorn. If I hadn’t been out of breath before he did it, that kiss would have done the trick. I wanted him to do it again. My heart sped up a little, in anticipation of a follow-up.
“I hope that was okay,” he said quietly. I was a little embarrassed. He’d kissed before, I could tell because he was so confident. Maybe I hadn’t been what he expected, not having any practice and all. Of course it was okay. My first kiss and it was wonderful. “I’ve wanted to do that ever since I met you.”
The spilled cans of beans flashed in my head and I opened my eyes wide. The embarrassment was enough to make me shy away, but I giggled instead. Amir watched me laughing and looked hurt.
“No, it’s not you,” I said quickly. “That was nice, great even. I was just thinking about the mess I made in your store the day I met you.”
Amir started laughing, too. “I’d almost forgotten about that.” Tilly was right. I shouldn’t have reminded him. “It wasn’t so bad. Actually, it was kind of cute.”
There was nothing cute about acting a fool in front of a crowd, let alone a cute guy. He probably wouldn’t be up on this hill kissing me if he knew I’d made a habit of being foolish back home, too.
“I was so embarrassed,” I said, covering my eyes. “I wanted to go straight back home after that but Tilly said I was being silly.”
“You were being silly,” he said, nudging me again. “And if you’d left, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to kiss you. Plus, it has happened before, you know. I shouldn’t have stacked them so high, my fault.”
“Yeah, right,” I said, “I’m sure you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Amir grabbed my hands and pulled me up on my feet. We walked hand in hand down the hill toward a park exit.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you stayed,” he said when we’d reached the street. The city engulfed us. The quiet of the park disappeared immediately, like we’d stepped through an invisible force field and into another world.
People were everywhere: some shopping, some with kids running around them, and others just standing on the street corners chatting. Busy taxi drivers sped by and the street vendors were loudly arguing prices. All of it should have bothered me, but somehow for the first time it was comforting.
When we reached the corner of Tilly’s block, Amir let go of my hand and kissed me lightly, on the cheek this time.
“Would you like to see a movie with me sometime?” he asked. I’d always thought my first date would be at an amusement park or a romantic picnic, like on TV, but a movie was good, too. I must have been making a strange face without knowing it. “Or if you prefer, we can have dinner somewhere?”
“No, I mean, sure,” I answered too quickly. Amir was confused. “A movie is fine, sounds like fun. I’d love to go.”
“Great,” he said, exhaling like he was relieved. “How’s Monday for you? I’ll stop by Tilly’s around seven thirty to get you.”
“Monday works for me,” I said, smiling. So that was it, my first kiss, a walk in the park, and a date. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
Even with everything that was between us, Heather was the one and only person I wanted to share this news with. I practiced how I’d tell her and pictured her response. I almost skipped the whole way home.
“So, what’s up with you and ole boy?” Khalik was on his cell phone, but flipped it shut as soon as I’d reached the stairs where he sat with his legs spread wide in front of him, blocking the door to the building. “You didn’t let him cast no spell on you, did you?”
I remembered Amir’s touch and shivered a little, despite the heat. Khalik had an evil grin and started bouncing a basketball up and down against the steps.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Khalik,” I said, sitting down near him on the stairs. I probably should have kept walking right to the door, but Khalik didn’t look like he was ready to move.
Khalik bounced the ball over and over again and scrunched up his face like I’d offended him or something. “Yeah, I’ll bet you don’t.” His phone rang and he checked the screen, but didn’t answer it. He slipped the phone back into his pocket and went back to the ball.
“Don’t want her to hear me in the background?” I asked, teasing him. Now we were even. He just smiled and looked right at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, mocking me.
“Yeah, I’ll bet you don’t,” I said, in my lowest voice, trying to sound just like him. I swatted at his basketball and knocked it away from him. He laughed and we watched the ball roll down to the bottom of the stairs. He didn’t move, so I jumped up to get it. I threw it up to him, right to his chest, and he looked winded.
“Damn, girl, you been lifting weights out here, too?” he asked, pretending to rub his sore chest. “You play some ball I don’t know about?”
“Not really,” I said, climbing the stairs again. At that moment I had a lot of energy, though, like maybe I could get out on the court with Khalik and play a game. “I play a little volleyball when I can.”
He snorted. “Sounds like some white girl stuff to me,” he said, laughing. Khalik threw his basketball high above his head and pretended to spike it. The ball fell in his lap, and he raised his arms in fake cheerleader style and pumped his fists.
“You’ve never seen black girls play volleyball?” I asked. Khalik shook his head no. His phone rang again. This time he switched the ringer to vibrate. “That’s crazy, of cou
rse they do. Your girl Monique even plays. She was pretty good during our practice.”
Khalik smiled at that, the kind of smile that had some history, or at least a good story behind it. I leaned closer to him and put my hand up to my ear, waiting for the story. He pushed my hand away.
“There’s nothing to tell,” he said, “and she ain’t my girl.”
“Okay, if you say so,” I said.
“Yeah, I say so.”
We sat and watched the street again. From where we were sitting, we could see the train station, a few clothing boutiques, a grocery store, a movie theater, and the courts. So much going on around us, but Khalik and I were on the sidelines, like we were benched for too many penalties in a game.
Rex wheeled his cart up from the bodega, with Tilly at his heels. Her bags were on top of the cart, full of food.
“How long you two lovebirds been sitting here?” Tilly asked us. My face got hot. Khalik smiled, but didn’t say anything. We took Tilly’s bags off Rex’s cart. Rex wheeled over and sat down on the bottom step. Tilly held the door open while Khalik and I set the bags inside. “Woo, child, I must be getting old. And I didn’t even make it to all my shops yet.”
Tilly could shop all day, just like my mom. My mom bought purses and shoes to match the purses. Tilly spent hours searching through antique shops looking for glass animal figurines, or different-colored wigs and church hats. She’d spend hours looking, but would rarely buy anything.
“You don’t look old, Ms. Tilly,” Khalik said dutifully.
Tilly gave him her best “you bet I don’t” look and slapped him on the arm. We all laughed.
“Thank you, baby,” Tilly told him, batting her eyelids like a little girl. “I was just trying to convince Rex here the same thing, but what does he know?”
Rex had been sitting quietly, rearranging plastic bags on his cart. He turned around and looked Tilly up and down and said, “When you’ve lost it, you’ve lost it.”
“Oh, shut up, you old fool,” Tilly said, pretending to throw something at him. Rex and Tilly laughed together.
A car backfired on the street and we all jumped. It sounded like a bomb. Black smoke rose in a steady stream from the back of the car, but it kept speeding down the block. Tilly sucked her teeth. “That’s a shame, all that noise.”
“At least it wasn’t a gunshot,” Khalik said quietly. I wondered if his heart had just skipped three whole beats like mine had.
“You’re right, Khalik,” she said. “But never mind that. Tash, you been gone so long, girl, I thought you’d caught a bus back to the suburbs.”
Tilly cracked herself up then. She obviously didn’t remember being the one who sent me out so early. Her head and shoulders shook while she laughed. She almost looked like a bobble head. I loved watching her laugh. It always made me laugh, too.
“From what I hear, she had a really good time,” Khalik said. He rubbed his chin and turned toward me. Tilly turned to me, too. Rex even leaned in. I rolled my eyes at Khalik but he just smiled and seemed to enjoy watching me squirm. “Come on, Tash, tell us all about it.”
I wanted his basketball right at that moment so I could send it sailing right into his chest again, but it was too far out of my reach.
“I went up to the park and took a nice, long walk and then came home,” I said. Khalik gave me a look. Either he was gonna spill it or I should. “Oh, and I saw Amir while I was there, so we hung out for a little bit.”
Khalik grinned like he’d just won some championship.
Tilly’s eyebrows went sky-high and she grinned, the kind of grin she makes when she knows there’s more to the story. Rex finished folding and refolding his bags and packed up to leave.
“Catch you all later,” he called and waved good-bye. I should have run and jumped on the cart to escape.
“Alright, Rex,” Khalik said. Tilly and I waved.
On any other day Khalik would have been running up and down the court with his boys. Now that I had news for Tilly’s ears only, his friends were nowhere to be found.
“Boy, why are you here hanging on this stoop?” Tilly asked Khalik, reading my mind. “Your friends go off and leave you or something? Or did you find someone you were more interested in today?”
She looked at me when she said it. Khalik rolled his eyes.
“No, Ms. Tilly,” he said, “it ain’t even like that. I just felt like laying low for a minute. I’ll probably get up with them later on. Here they go calling right now. I’ll catch you later, Ms. Tilly. NaTasha.”
He flipped open his cell and went into the building. Thank God. Enough humiliation for one day.
“Alright, girl, now come on with the gossip,” Tilly said.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TILLY WAS STILL asking me questions about Amir while we got ready for church the next morning. She wanted to know all the details. And she had a whole first date meal planned by the time I was done telling her.
“You’re so embarrassing, Tilly,” I said. Once she made up her mind about something, her plan was final. We walked out the door with only a few minutes to spare.
“Girl, we’ll be lucky if we get a seat,” she said, walking to church as fast as she could go. She had on a blue and yellow flowered dress and held the matching blue feathered hat under one arm.
“Tilly, do that many people even go to church anymore?” I asked, trying to catch my breath from running after her. Back home, my parents and I hadn’t been in years. “There can’t possibly be a full house already.”
Tilly just grunted and kept walking. We turned the corner a few blocks from her apartment and ran into a line of people, women in church hats, men in three-piece suits, and little kids in their Sunday best. Ushers in black suits and white gloves were keeping order on the street. A tour bus even pulled up out front and began letting the passengers off for service. Tilly passed by the end of the line and walked up the stairs into Hope Baptist Church.
“Tilly, why are so many people waiting to get inside?” I asked her, as we took seats in the first row of the church. “And how in the world did we get seats in row one?”
“Girl, the Lord is going to show up, so people want to be here to receive Him,” she said. “And they always sit the elders up front. Thank the Lord because my sight is going anyway.”
Tilly’s sight was 20/20. I made a face to let her know she was full of it. She pretended not to see me and raised her hands like she was praying. I left her alone and watched more believers flow into the church. A young mother set her baby’s car seat into place on the pew next to her. A heavyset older man and his much thinner and younger wife, both dressed in black suits, took bulletins from the usher and began to fan themselves. It was warm in the sanctuary.
A dark-skinned woman dressed in all white, from her large hat with a feather down to her pantyhose, stood at attention near the front pulpit and looked like she was waiting for someone. People filed in from the back doors and filled the pews quickly. All the people waiting outside weren’t going to have seats. The place was packed.
The pastor walked in and raised both his arms and the crowd stood.
“Good morning, church,” he bellowed from the pulpit. A team of large men in black gym suits, who looked like bodyguards, surrounded the pastor as he led us all in prayer. I bowed my head. “Let the church say, ‘amen.’”
“Amen.”
“Church, God is good,” the pastor asked. He dropped his arms and motioned for us to sit.
“All the time,” the congregation answered in unison.
“He’s so good all the time and I’m here to tell you about it,” he preached. “Do you want to hear about it?”
“Yes, tell it, pastor,” the people responded.
“God is so good. He woke me up this morning to see this beautiful sun and to feel this summer heat. He gave us power, joy, and sound minds this morning, church.”
“Yes, amen,” Tilly said, almost rising to her feet. She waved a paper fan adorned with a funeral home adverti
sement on the back, and blew air toward me. I unbuttoned two buttons on my shirt and wiped some sweat from around my collar.
“He has blessed us with a wonderful church family and has brought each of us a mighty long way,” he said.
The bodyguards looked around nervously as the pastor paced across the stage.
“Yes, He has,” the young mother behind us said. Her baby woke up and began to cry softly. She set him in her lap and continued to listen. I couldn’t help noticing she had on a pair of jeans and a large sweatshirt.
Tilly always said the Lord didn’t care what we had on for church, but we should dress our best just in case this was the day He came to take us to our new home in Heaven. She said she didn’t want to be caught dead in an old dress when she met her maker.
The music began to play and the people stood to their feet. I swayed and clapped along while choir members in long maroon-and-white robes began to file around the pulpit. They rocked the building from their dancing and their boisterous voices. It was beautiful. I looked at Tilly. She had her eyes closed and her hands lifted in the air.
The choir sang three more songs.
“Amen, church, you can be seated,” the pastor said when they ended.
We all sat and opened our Bibles. The pastor read from the books of Ecclesiastes and Luke.
“Church, we are beginning a new season in the Lord and we need to live as leaders and examples for those who do not yet know Him,” he told us.
I followed along and nodded when Tilly nodded. The pastor was right. This was a new time in my life. Some changes would have to be made in order for me to be okay: new friendships, new relationships, and a new attitude.
“Amen,” I said along with everyone else.
After the service, Tilly moved down the main aisle like a celebrity. She waved to folks in the balcony and shook hands with people like she was the one who had given the sermon. More people came to talk with her than the pastor, who waited patiently on the pulpit for anyone wanting prayer.
“Hey, Ms. Rose,” Tilly said, hugging a small woman wearing a large church hat. The lady only stood as tall as Tilly’s shoulder but her voice made up for it. I swear they heard her voice all the way in the next church. I wondered if she had a hearing aid in her ear. She held on to Tilly as they talked. “Are you cookin’ tonight, Ms. Tilly?”
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