Luc cleared his throat, took a steadying breath. There was only so much he could say and she looked so cold, so unfriendly, not like his sweet Gina at all. But he had to try, or his dreams ended right here.
‘I believe Carmina has been telling you lies about me.’ He looked into her face, small and pinched and pale, and waited for her reaction. When none came, he continued, ‘I hear she’s been spreading rumours, saying that I’ve been seeing other girls. I need you to know, Gina, that isn’t true.’
Gina gazed at him from beneath her long lashes, saying nothing, not daring to hope.
‘And if she said I went with someone else to the dance, that was a lie too. I hoped and prayed you’d be there. When you stood me up, I was devastated. I missed you, and had a miserable time. Then Carmina said you’d chucked me. I don’t know why you decided it was all over between us, but if it’s anything I’ve done, you just have to say what it is and I’ll do my best to put it right. I’d do anything for you, Gina, anything!’
Gina blinked. ‘I don’t understand. Carmina said I’d finished with you? I never told her to say that. Anyway, I didn’t stand you up. I sent a note.’
He looked at her blankly. ‘Note? I never got any note.’
‘I gave it to Carmina. It said how Momma and Papa insisted I stay in all week, because I was over-tired. Of course, that was all an excuse on their part. They’d found out we’ve been secretly meeting and didn’t approve.’ Gina pulled a face. ‘I wrote to explain all of this and Carmina promised faithfully that she’d give it to you personally.‘
They both looked at each other.
‘She never delivered it,’ Luc said, his voice hard. ‘Surprise, surprise!’
Gina swallowed, and feeling suddenly confused and vulnerable, left him standing by the tree and went to sit on a nearby bench. She clasped her hands tight in her lap to gather her strength. Could this misunderstanding be all Carmina’s doing? She’d believed in her sister, had trusted her implicitly. Clearly she’d been a fool to do so. Had Carmina forgotten to give him the letter out of carelessness, or sheer malice? And why would she do such a thing? Gina picked at the pleats of her dress with troubled fingers, trying to sort out the muddle in her head.
‘You know what this means, don’t you?’ Luc said, coming to sit beside her. ‘This split between us is caused by Carmina, not me.’
Gina looked straight into those dark hooded eyes. She wasn’t quite ready to accept this fact, not quite yet. Nor was she prepared to defend her sister. Not until she’d talked to Carmina and asked her about the letter.
‘So who did you dance with then?’ she asked, returning to her earlier point.
Luc sighed. This was the question he’d dreaded most. It was sheer torture to him that now he did have to lie, if he was to have any hope of winning Gina back. He combed agitated fingers through his hair. ‘I can’t remember. Nobody who mattered. It’s you I want, Gina, you know it is.’
But Gina wasn’t letting him off the hook quite so easily. She edged away, leaving a little distance between them. ‘Did you dance with Carmina?’
There was a small silence, then Luc said, ‘I might have done, briefly, I don’t remember.’
She gave a bitter little laugh. ‘Now that is a lie. Nobody can dance with my glamorous sister and not remember.’
‘I needed to ask her about you. We only talked about you.’ That part at least was true.
Gina looked unconvinced. ‘Carmina tells me that you and she used to go out together, so what went wrong? Which of you broke it off?’
‘I did, when I met you.’
‘But how do I know you don’t still fancy her?’
‘Because I fancy you. How can I convince you, Gina? The minute I saw you at the church’s New Year Social, I had eyes only for you, not for your glamorous sister.’ He was looking at her now as if he couldn’t tear his eyes away. ‘It took weeks for me to convince you that I was serious, if you remember, and I’ll go through it all over again, if necessary. I just hope it won’t be.’
Oh, she wanted to believe him. Badly! Gina longed to accept his word but felt compelled to ask one more question. ‘So it’s not true then that you asked Carmina to go to the dance before you asked me, or that you’ve kissed her?’
This was turning out to be even worse than he’d imagined. Luc felt sick. ‘No, I certainly didn’t ask her to come to the dance with me.’ He made no mention of the dangerous kisses in the car later.
He didn’t even know if it was possible to win Gina back without Carmina ruining everything, but knew he must try. It was at least true that he never had asked Carmina to the dance. He’d cursed himself a million times since for his weakness in letting things go so far, but he’d believed that Gina really had dumped him and he’d felt bereft, so hurt and angry inside. Thank goodness he’d managed to resist her in the end.
Now he was convinced Carmina had lied to him too, and he’d no intention of allowing a stupid mistake to ruin his chances with Gina. For that reason she must never hear of what had gone on in that car, not if he had to walk through fire to keep Carmina from blabbing.
‘Have you seen her since the dance?’ Her eyes were wide and clear as she asked the question, determined not to show her pain.
He recklessly slid one arm along the back of the bench. ‘No, she follows me about sometimes, which I hate. It’s you I want and only you. I hate to say this, since she’s your sister, but Carmina is a compulsive liar, and she can’t seem to get it into her head that I’m not interested. Okay, we had a bit of a fling once, but it was all over between us months ago. Believe me, I don’t give a fig for Carmina, only you. Why would I want to kiss her when I could have you?’
Then he tilted up her chin and if his words didn’t quite convince her, his lips most certainly did.
Gina breathed in the familiar scent of him: lifebuoy toilet soap, the oil he put on his hair and something that was indefinably Luc. It was some moments before the kiss ended and then she leaned against him with a little sigh.
‘Oh, Luc, I thought I’d lost you.’
‘Never, not while I live and breathe, no matter what anyone tries to do to us.’
Chapter Fifteen
Carmina didn’t go directly home to share in the usual Sunday lunch. She couldn’t bear the thought of family chit-chat, of being forced to be polite to Gina, or to Patsy, neither of whom she had the patience for right now. They were so self-righteous, so sure of their own boring judgement on what was right and wrong, wasting no opportunity to point out how she couldn’t have what she most wanted in the world.
They were so wrong! She could have whatever she wished. She’d known that from the moment her own brilliant beauty had blossomed, and men, even Papa, would softly smile and give in to her every whim. Why should Luc Fabriani be any different?
Furious that he should have the temerity to ignore their agreement and speak to Gina, she wanted time alone to think, to calm herself, to readjust her plan. She needed to walk in the fresh air, and, ignoring her mother’s pleas set off towards the canal.
‘That girl is such a trial to me,’ she heard Momma say in despair, but Carmina only quickened her pace.
There were times, like now, when she felt very much an outsider, as if nobody cared one jot for her feelings.
She rushed along Liverpool Road, slipped down through the canal basin passed narrow boats painted in bright reds, blues and greens, then crossing beneath the Bridgewater Viaduct headed for some waste land where it was claimed lay buried an old Roman Fort. She was hoping to find some peace and quiet since little work would be taking place down on the Wharfs today. Once or twice she glanced back over her shoulder, thinking that she heard footsteps following her. She waited a moment thinking it might be Luc, come to say he was sorry for ignoring her.
No one appeared, but then most people were in church or at home with their families, as she should be, Carmina supposed, still burning up with rage. She must have imagined the footsteps as there was only the sound of a pa
ssing goods train clanking overhead.
Because this area had once offered a good viewpoint of the River Medlock and was on the direct route to Chester, the Romans had apparently selected this ground as a site for a fort. Not that there was much evidence of it now among the weeds and rubble. Close by, where once the Medlock had flowed, the Bridgewater and Rochdale Canals had been cut through the red sandstone. Carmina flung herself down on a grassy hump with a sigh, and put her head in her hands.
What was she to do? Luc was ignoring her, still chasing after Gina. How could she make him see that she simply wouldn’t take no for an answer?
Perhaps she was worrying unduly and he’d really only been saying goodbye to her, making it clear that Carmina was his girl now, and that it was all over between them. She might have found out if Patsy Bowman hadn’t interfered.
How could Luc possibly love Gina? She was so insipid, so plain by comparison to herself. Carmina was quite sure that he was only being nice to her out of pity. He felt sorry for her pathetic sister, that’s all.
If only Gina wasn’t on the scene at all.
The late afternoon sun was glinting on the waters of the canal as it slid slowly beneath the railway arches. The narrow boats bumped gently against the quay and somewhere in the distance Carmina heard a clock strike, and the shunt of a train. Five o’clock already. She must have fallen asleep but now hunger was beginning to overcome her sulks and she thought that if she didn’t go home soon, she might miss tea as well as Sunday lunch.
She dreaded facing Gina, who would no doubt be bursting with happiness having at last spoken to Luc, however brief. Carmina would have given anything to know what had passed between them in that conversation outside the church. Anything.
‘Hello Carmina, had a good sleep?’
Carmina started as Alec Hall flopped down beside her. She’d been so engrossed in her own thoughts, she hadn’t heard him approach. ‘Hell, you scared me half to death, creeping up on me like that. What are you doing here? Have you been watching me?’
Alec smiled. ‘I thought you looked in need of a bit of company. Unless you’re content simply to admire the scenery, of course?’
Carmina pouted provocatively at him. Alec Hall might be a bit long in the tooth but he wasn’t bad looking, and always made her feel good about herself, offering the sort of admiration she most desired. ‘I couldn’t bear to go home and play happy families. Sundays are so boring!’
Alec chuckled. ‘I can see that wouldn’t exactly be your thing.’
He brushed a stray curl from her cheek, a surprisingly intimate gesture which startled Carmina. Usually he looked too nervous to touch her, treating her with gentlemanly deference. Not that she minded too much. She was feeling particularly raw and rejected after seeing Luc and Gina together, and felt in need of proof that she was still attractive to men.
She pretended to frown at him. ‘I think you’ve been following me, you naughty man. I thought I heard someone a while back.’
‘Would you mind if I had?’ Alec softly asked as he edged nearer.
He ran the heel of one thumb down her bare arm, making Carmina shiver. The sensation wasn’t entirely unpleasant and she dimpled a smile at him, stretching herself as a cat might when it wants to be stroked and petted.
‘Depends why you did it.’
‘Maybe I like following you. You are rather irresistible.’
Carmina almost purred with pleasure, then tucked her feet beneath her so that her short skirt slid up her long shapely thighs. She made a show of smoothing it down again, giving him a seductive little smile as she saw his eyes darken. He was entranced by her, she could tell. Why couldn’t she have this affect upon Luc?
‘I saw how upset you were over Luc Fabriani talking to your sister. Why do you bother with him, Carmina? You’re the kind of girl who needs a man, not a boy.’ The back of his fingers brushed her cheek and Carmina jerked away, not quite liking this perceived criticism of the man she adored.
‘Luc is man enough for me.’ She made as if to get up but Alec prevented her from moving by capturing her head with one hand, his fingers now combing through her soft curls.
‘Do you know how very lovely you are, how bewitching your eyes, how luscious your mouth? Yes, I expect you do. Your many boy friends will tell you that all the time. But I’m not a boy, Carmina, so it means more when I say it.’
‘Does it?’ She felt strangely mesmerised by his closeness, by the way he was looking at her so steadily with that steely gaze of his. She could see the wrinkles fanning out beneath his eyes, the deeply etched lines between nose and mouth. He didn’t look quite so alluringly handsome close-to, his age being far more in evidence, yet still attractive in a compelling sort of way. ‘Why would that be, I wonder?’
‘Because I have more experience.’ Closing the short distance between them, he gently nibbled at her lower lip. Carmina pushed him away, excited by his daring and yet shocked by it.
‘Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?’ It was fine when she was the one doing the flirting, but he seemed a bit too full of himself today.
Alec didn’t seem to hear her. He gave a throaty chuckle, pulled her close again and began to kiss her more thoroughly. This time Carmina did not resist. Instead, she found herself responding. His tongue rasped against her teeth, moving and teasing, stirring a burn of desire somewhere deep in the pit of her belly. She arched her body against his, relishing his kisses, making no protest when he cupped her breast.
But then he slid his hand between her thighs and she jerked away, giving a little cry of protest.
He laughed softly. ‘Don’t play the virgin with me, Carmina, because unlike your trusting momma, I know that you aren’t.’ The next instant he was pushing her back on to the grass, dragging apart the buttons of her blouse with clumsy fingers. ‘I know what you and Luc Fabriani got up to in that old banger of his after the dance. Not quite the behaviour of a nice, well-brought-up girl, is it?’
She was struggling to catch her breath, to slap away his busy fingers. ‘You were spying on me? How dare you! You’re wrong. We didn’t do anything.’
He gave a low chuckle. ‘Then it’s time you found out what you’re missing.’
She tried to stop him, gasping for breath as she tussled vainly to free herself, but he was too strong for her, too determined. Her hair was all over her face, her breasts open to the cool breeze and her skirt almost up to her waist, all dignity quite gone.
‘I’ve told you to stop. Don’t you dare …’
Her protests were stopped by his mouth clamping down on hers, hard and hungry. Carmina could feel the weight of him on top of her, the bulge against her bare leg. He pulled up her skirt the last few inches and ripped off her panties. Then he was thrusting into her with an urgency that would have made her gasp, had she been able to. It was like a horror movie. It all happened so fast that she couldn’t move, couldn’t even think.
He lifted his mouth from hers for a brief second to give her a leering grin, but did not pause, his breathing ragged as he pounded into her.
She might have screamed then, only Carmina couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that she could have so entirely lost control of the situation. He had her pinned down with her arms splayed out above her head, making revolting animal noises as she lay helpless beneath him in complete shock and agony. The pain was terrible but he made no concession to her whimpers and cries, presumably taking them as some sign of enjoyment.
Yet something overwhelming was happening to her. A curl of raw, fierce emotion was born deep inside her belly, neither fear nor revulsion but the hard burn of desire. With painful clarity Carmina knew in her heart that she’d provoked this situation. She’d asked for it with her flirtatious teasing, and her irresistible allure.
And now, to her shame, the excitement of his lust had fired her own.
She tried to bite him, snapping and snarling like a bitch on heat, and when he released her hands she didn’t claw at his face, as she might hav
e done to protect herself. Instead, Carmina ripped open his shirt and scratched him all down his back, raising them both to new heights of passion. Minutes later she gave a sigh almost of regret when he slumped from her to roll over on to the grass.
‘Oh, that was good, Carmina,’ he gasped. ‘Did you enjoy it? I certainly did. Dammit, you’re a little whore, you really are.’
That was not at all what she’d wanted to hear.
Fury rose in her throat like bile. She suddenly felt incandescent with rage. Sobs shook her body, tears began to roll down her cheeks and she slapped and beat at him with her bare hands, clawed at his laughing face with her nails.
‘How dare you do that to me. You raped me. You goddammed raped me!
Alec began to laugh. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! You were as desperate for it as I was. That wasn’t exactly a virginal kiss you gave me. And I didn’t see you resisting when I let go of your hands. You’ve been begging for me to do that ever since that day you bumped into me on your way out of my music shop back at Easter time. And I dare say you’ll want it again. You and I, Carmina, are one of a kind. It’s as if we were made for each other.’
Chapter Sixteen
The little row of white tubes on the gas fire in the bedroom popped one after the other as Thomas put a match to light them. Mavis, seated at her dressing table in her Vyella nightdress, spun about at the sound.
‘I don’t think a fire is necessary, since we’re going to bed.’
‘It’s like an ice box in here, and if you’re going to sit about half dressed you’ll catch your death,’ Thomas said.
Mavis at once reached for her silk quilted dressing gown, then went to turn off the gas tap. ‘The bill is big enough.’
Who's Sorry Now (2008) Page 12