Before Drew could say a word, Max, from his position in the corner, looking as cool as a fucking cucumber with his legs and arms crossed as he leaned into the wall, murmured, “You don’t know the pressure he’s been under, Jessa. I’m sure he didn’t do it for shits and giggles.”
I stared at the younger man who had become a part of our group since the first day of school. Though he was still seventeen, he looked like he was in his twenties.
He was large for his age, close to my height, and had muscles that matched mine—no small fry, considering I was a tight end and the largest in the state.
Max was one of those stoic and silent types. He didn’t say all that much, so when he did, we tended to listen.
I wasn’t a prick, but I knew I was arrogant. I was accustomed to dominating a situation, to having people look up to me, but even I’d started listening to Max. He was that kind of guy. It would be like ignoring a massive Yoda. The dude might spout his wisdom out ass backwards, but the shit he said made sense.
Still, the sheer reason in his words was more than Jessa could apparently tolerate. She didn’t want to be reasonable, she wanted to be volatile. Wanted to expunge her fear and splatter Drew in the face with it like an exploding zit.
Jessa’s only concession was, “Why didn’t you tell us that things were so hard for you?”
Her question raised more, and I wished I knew what had been discussed in my absence. Had Drew told her about his grandmother’s house? Hell, about her illness? All I knew was that the old bitch wasn’t talking to him anymore because he refused to go to church with her on Sundays. She even went so far as to ignore him when he went around to do any chores for her—she left him a note on the verandah like he was hired help and not family.
“Because I’m tired of—” Drew broke off, then reached up and rubbed his face.
He wasn’t lying on the gurney anymore. Instead, he was half seated with his back to the wall, and his knees raised so he could curl his arms around them. He looked like he’d worked himself into a corner in more ways than one.
I hated seeing him like that.
Drew was my bro, sure, but I loved him. He was like the other half of me. It was almost as though no part of my soul belonged to me. When I was born, each half had gone to Jessa and Drew, and I’d just been waiting for them to get with the program.
Seeing him hurting? Defensive?
It pissed me off.
What use was I if I didn’t make shit better for the ones I loved?
Feeling useless, I dumped my helmet on the floor near the door and rasped, “You need to get out of here. The showers will be filling up soon. You can sneak out now, Jessa. I don’t want the team knowing you were in here.”
Why?
Because I was a possessive SOB.
The second she went out there, I knew they’d be flashing her like the sick reprobates they were.
“Go to Drew’s?” Max suggested, arching a brow and looking way too damn collected for me to appreciate.
Still, it wasn’t his fault his childhood had been one whole pile of shit so he could deal with more pressure than most, so I just nodded. “Yeah. You okay to drive Jessa?”
“Sure.” He cut me a look, and I dipped my chin, confirming that I was about to have it out with Drew, and I didn’t want her listening in.
“No! I’m not leaving Drew,” Jessa spat, sounding as ornery and stubborn as ever.
Digging the heels of my palms into my eyes, I sighed. “You want everyone hearing our business?”
Because that was what it was.
Our business.
No one fucking else’s.
Not even our parents’.
All of us were eighteen, except for Max. We were adults who were just waiting on graduation to live our lives. This was our shitstorm to deal with—I knew the ‘rents wouldn’t agree, but I didn’t care. We didn’t need them in our business, not when my dad and Jessa’s parents were the only ones who really gave a shit about us anyway.
Jessa frowned at my words. “No, of course I don’t,” she huffed.
“Good. Well, you should get the hell out of here then. You don’t think the entire team wants to know what happened to Drew today? Just because they have dicks doesn’t make them less gossipy. They’ll be hanging outside soon, waiting to pepper him with questions. Things will only be worse if they see you.”
Jessa snorted. “If this was a regular team, sure.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Drew snapped, and Jessa sniffed, her ponytail whipping around as she stared at him.
“It means that these bastards don’t give a shit about anyone except themselves. If you haven’t figured that out, you’re dumber than anyone I know. Who came in here, Drew? Who was with you when the nurse tended to you?”
“The nurse didn’t tend to me. Coach did.”
She tilted her head to the side. “That’s odd but irrelevant. Sam came with you, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. Of course,” he sniped, his jaw clenching as he stared her down.
Relief filled me at his words. Drew knew my loyalty lay with him and not the team. He should know that like he knew his hair was goddamn black, but there were evidently things he was keeping from me, and maybe one of them was insecurity where our relationship was concerned.
And if that didn’t hurt like a torn ACL, I wasn’t sure what did.
“Nobody else?” she demanded, her head tilting to the side as we all heard the mass entry of the team. Their celebratory shouts and hollers of glee ricocheted inside these walls, making my desire for her to leave unseen impossible, and her question all the more poignant.
Nobody else had thought to come in here save for me. Nobody, when the team was numerous, nobody, when there were even so-called friends who were sitting on the sideline who didn’t start in games…
He shook his head. “We were starting warmups, Jessa. What did you expect them to do? Hold a mass walkout when the game was going to start in a few minutes?” he argued, but she held up a hand to stop him from mouthing off farther.
“They’re all out for themselves. You’re running yourself ragged for a bunch of dicks who don’t give a fuck. They’re on the team to look good for college applications that their daddies have already bought and paid for. You’re different, Drew. You’re not like them.”
“Yeah, I’m fucking poor,” he snarled, and I cleared my throat to get his attention, then narrowed my eyes at him in warning. He stiffened, but stated grimly, “They might not need their scholarships, but I sure as hell do.”
“No,” she ground out. “You don’t. You have me. I’m a fucking Rothskind, Drew.” The words were snarled. “I have access to my trust fund now.” That was news to me. What trust fund? “I’ll pay your goddamn tuition. You don’t need any of these pricks here. You just need to focus on getting through school, taking the SATs, and graduating. That’s it. We can pay for your grandmother’s house and get her situated so she’s comfortable too—” So, Drew had told her about his grandmother. That was a relief— “My uncle can probably help with her medical care. I’ll contact him tomorrow.”
Drew gaped at her. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Yes. Because of you,” she snarled. “Do you want to break my heart?”
He reared back, his head connecting with the wall so hard there was an audible thunk. “N-No. Of course not,” he stuttered.
“So, you’d prefer to rely on drugs than on me?” Jesus, she really was twisting the knife—even if she was a hundred percent correct. Drew and charity didn’t go hand in hand, but how was it charity when money was something she had? When she loved him and he needed it?
His mouth worked. “No. Don’t be stupid, Jessa.”
“I’m many things, Drew, but stupid isn’t one of them.” Her lips pursed. “Money means nothing to me. You know that. It’s something I’m fortunate to have. Something that I was born with thanks to having very shrewd and very greedy ancestors. What means something to me is you.” Her jaw flexed
. “The only people I give a shit about are in this room, do you hear me? You’re all men. Your testosterone makes you stupid, but unfortunately for you, I’m the one with the Rothskind name. I’m the one with the most money. I could buy and sell you all right this second.”
When she snapped her fingers, Drew barked, “You think I don’t know that? Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“Small?” she questioned, her eyes narrowing. “I’m sure you do feel that way. But you’re not that small, are you, Drew? You’re not so fucking myopic that you can’t see the woods for the trees?”
He blinked at her, then in a tone that was close to pleading, whispered, “Jessa, don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? Try to save you?” She stacked her hands on her hips. “Why is it only the guy who’s allowed to save the girl?”
I winced, because she wasn’t wrong. Reaching up to rub the back of my neck, I wasn’t altogether surprised when Drew mumbled, “I wouldn’t accept it from Sam, either. I’m not a charity case.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you could have offended me more if you tried.” Her head whipped around and she turned to Max. “Take me home?”
Although he hesitated, his gaze flicking between Drew and me, he nodded. I should have been irritated, but Jessa did that to a man. Managed to get beneath the skin in a way that a kid like Max would never be able to evade. Not when she made you feel like you were the only person on Earth, and Max, who’d never been a priority to anyone, couldn’t help but be affected by that.
I got it.
Still irritated the fuck out of me though.
“Take her to Drew’s,” I corrected, keeping my eyes fixed on her. Her cheeks pinkened and I saw the storm in her eyes, but when she went to move away from Drew and toward the door, I grabbed a hold of her and spun her around so Max and Drew could only see my back and little else, thanks to the padding on my shoulders. “I love you, Jessa. Drew does too.”
“Not more than he loves his ego,” she snapped, and when I saw no softening in her face at my declaration, I knew she was too angry to process my statement.
Jessa was too much of a romantic not to say those three words back to me, but she was too far gone, and this was her way of tapping out. I wanted to kiss her, to stamp my claim on her, but I didn’t. She didn’t need me pissing on her like I was a dog and she was a fire hydrant, so I fought the inclination and gritted out, “Go on back to Drew’s. We’ll discuss this when we’re alone.”
She huffed, but barged through the door, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from the guys outside. The second he heard them, Max headed after her, and I was grateful he had her back, even as I hollered out there, “Anyone flashes her and I’ll have their fucking dicks.”
When boos and hisses were aimed at me, I merely shrugged them off and slammed the door behind Max and Jessa. Turning around to face the man I loved, I was greeted with:
“He’s falling for her.” Drew’s words were followed by another thunk as he knocked his head into the wall.
“Trying to give yourself brain damage now?” was all I said, as I folded my arms across my chest.
“Don’t you care?”
“I’d say he’s already fallen for her, and if that means he watches out for her?” I shrugged. “I’m not about to complain.” That had Drew’s mouth twisting in a snarl, but when he remained silent, I demanded, “What?”
“You’re using him?”
“Not particularly.” And I wasn’t. Max was with us of his own free will. We weren’t forcing him to be our friend, and the perk of that friendship was something a guy like Max would never have experienced before—loyalty and protection. Because Drew was trying to pick a fight, I decided to change the subject and asked, “How are you feeling? Are you good for the ride back home?” Unease flickered inside me. “We should have taken you to the hospital.”
“Coach knew what was wrong with me. Wasn’t the first time he’s seen these symptoms. Just needed to calm the fuck down, get my breath back.” Shame flickered across his face. “I have to get a checkup before I’m allowed back on the team though.”
Relief filled me. “Well, we’ll get that sorted out next week. Come on, let’s get showered and we can go home.”
He swallowed roughly and his fingers bled white as he clenched them. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“She loves you. Of course she will. But she won’t forget.” Drew’s jaw worked as he ground his teeth, and my tone was cheerful as I said, “Look on the bright side. She’ll be bringing it up in arguments for years to come, but she’ll still be with us, so that’s what counts, right?”
He shot me a dirty look that turned sheepish. “Yeah. I guess.”
Carefully, he jumped down to the floor. When he winced then paused, I didn’t push him.
“Feeling woozy?”
“Just a bit.” He blew out a breath then sucked a few gulps of air down.
“You’re a dick for putting yourself through this,” I rasped, angry at him and able to show it for the first time since the game was over, Jessa was gone, and we could head the fuck out of this place.
He clenched his jaw, irritated at my reprimand, but he hung his head and muttered simply, “I know.”
2
Jessa
“You okay?”
I’d tilted my face away from Max’s since we’d climbed into the car and started the drive… only, not to Drew’s. I was processing, and the last thing I needed was to be around that idiot. So, home was my current destination and Max was my chauffeur.
“I’ve been better,” I whispered eventually, then I closed my eyes when one of the only EDM songs Drew liked, one by Martin Garrix, whispered through the speakers.
There was an irony to the title too.
There For You.
Drew was always there for me, and now, when I could be there for him, he didn’t want me at his back. Why not? Why wouldn’t he let me help him?
I knew for a fact that if I’d been in Drew’s predicament, he’d have done everything in his means to help me out. So what was different here?
Anger, confusion, and fear—that’s what I was trying to process, I figured.
As well as the fact I’d almost lost him before I’d even had him.
That’s what confused me, what scared me the most. That was why I was angry.
“Do you think he’s…” I trailed off, unsure what I was asking or why I was asking it. It wasn’t like Max would know. He was new to our group, and if Sam or I weren’t in the know, then he definitely wouldn’t be, either. Not that that diminished my closeness with him. Max was the kind of man that was like a shadow. You just grew used to him being there, seeing and hearing everything. He’d probably make a great spy. Even though he was gorgeous, he still managed to blend in.
“Think he’s…?” Max prompted, when I didn’t finish the question.
I turned to watch the lake glitter as the headlamps danced along its surface. It was so beautiful here, so picturesque with its perfect landscape and its glorious vistas, yet I couldn’t wait to be away from here. From the toxic environment that was a bunch of elitist scum sucking up to each other.
As the lakeshore rippled thanks to the wind, I traced the movement with my eyes and, as fickle as that breeze, softly whispered, “You know I love them both. Do you think that makes me dirty?”
He frowned at that, his attention switching from the road ahead to me. “No. Of course not.”
“Why not? Most people would.”
“Do you care what most people think?”
I thought about that. “Good point.”
A laugh escaped him at my words. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Do you think badly of me for it?” His opinion mattered to me, and it was probably only one of a few that actually did. I thought of those unknown trustees, probably crotchety old men like my grandfather who’d judge something they couldn’t understand, and knew, in their eyes, I would be beyond dirty for having these feelings
.
“Why would I?” he countered, “We love who we love. Isn’t that the beauty of living today and not back when Byron was strutting around London? A man can fuck another guy without worrying about being thrown in jail. A woman can be bipolar without being tossed into an asylum. We can fuck who we want, love who we want—”
“But can we? Really?” I asked, my voice as quiet as a whisper. “Isn’t there always someone watching and waiting to judge us?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
He cleared his throat, and just when I thought he wasn’t about to answer, we drove through the security gate to my subdivision. When the security guards let us through, nodding at us in greeting as we passed, Max murmured, “If you live somewhere like this, no. Someone’s always going to be waiting to judge.”
“What about where you lived?” I turned my face to look at him, saw the tension in his face appear before, in a flash, his expression was wiped totally free.
“No one gave a fuck. But you wouldn’t want to live there. Trust me.” His laughter was mocking and cold as ice. “There’s a happy balance though. There has to be, but it’s just not suburbia. You can’t live somewhere like this and not be picture perfect. They’ll slaughter you and those you care about with their words.”
I gnawed on my bottom lip, fully aware he was right. “I’ve never liked living in suburbia.”
“You haven’t lived here long, have you?” he questioned, shooting me a quick glance. “I thought you came here for high school.”
“I did. My grandfather insisted we come here.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s Draconian. He wanted Aaron to attend HawkRidge.” As well as to avoid the security threats the family faced on the regular, of course.
“Again, why?”
I didn’t tell him about the threats. Not because they weren’t important, but because shit like that was part and parcel of life here. Everyone had someone threatening them. With money and a position in society also came danger from unusual sources. That was how things rolled.
So, instead, I told him the truth from my grandfather’s point of view. “Because Aaron is the only son in our generation. Grandfather wants him to take over the family firm one day.”
Dare You To Keep Me: HawkRidge High II Page 4