by Holly Carter
“Kat,”
“Hide me, please.”
Arrows jumps off the bed and rushes over to me. Hunter’s voice is getting closer and the footsteps are hard.
“Kat, I can’t.”
“Please, I just... I need to hurt, just for a minute without him.”
Arrows runs his hands down his face and lets out a loud breath. He points to the bathroom and I run inside closing the door behind me; just as the door clinks I hear the main door open.
“Have you seen, Kat?” Hunter yells.
“Calm the fuck down, Hunter. No I haven’t.” Arrow sounds convincing.
I lean against the door and slide down until my ass hits the cold floor. I bring my legs up to my chest and rest my head against my knees. Tears threaten and I will them to stop. I just want pain....
“She freaked out, and ran off. I’m worried about her.”
“Hunter, get some rest, if I see her I will let you know, brother.”
I hear mumbled noises before the door closes again. I go to move but Arrow opens the door, which causes me to end up on my back, my head resting at his feet. He looks down at me shaking his head. He puts out his hand and I look at it before deciding to take it. He helps me to my feet, and ushers me into further into the bathroom.
“Shower, than you and I are going to talk about this.” Arrow says, handing me a towel and a clean shirt.
“No, I can’t.” I shake my head and hold up my hands in defeat.
“Yes, Kat. This is destroying you.” Arrow reaches for my hand and pulls back. “I hear you dream at night and something haunts you. I see a different person inside of you hidden by what you show the world. What the fuck happened to you, Kat?”
“I fell in love.” I whisper, tears streaming down my face.
Chapter Sixteen
Arrow cradled me close to him as the tears flowed. The water hits my back and I start to relax. After my confession Arrow picked me up and placed me in the shower clothes and all and he didn’t let me go. There is something about him that makes me feel like I can trust him. Even through the feeling is there, I struggle to spill the words. I feel like the weak and wounded girl who was never enough, was never going to be enough.... It hurts. The pain I need to feel is back.
“Do you want to talk...?”
“No.” I cut arrow off. “Just hold me a little longer, than forget all about the insecure, falling apart Kat you see here.”
“Kat, you can’t hide...” I stop him with a hand over his mouth.
“I can, and I will.” I say, removing my hand but holding up my finger when he opens his mouth to speak.
I get up from the floor and turn off the tap. I turn around and see Arrow looking at me with sad eyes. Those eyes say pity, pity for Kat. I hold out a hand and Arrow takes it. When he’s on his feet, I step out and grab two towels, one for him and one for myself. I dry myself briefly before wrapping the towel around me. I need to wash Hunter off my skin but Arrow has seen enough of me.
“Thank you for hiding me, but I really need to shower and get to bed.” I put on a smile and wipe the last stay tear. “Sorry to ruin your night.”
“You really should talk to someone.” Arrow picks up my hand and kisses it. The gentle move tugs my heart. “You need to let down those walls.”
I nod and pull my hand from his grip. The fight in me is gone and I don’t know when it will return by I pray it’s soon. I walk to the door and open it, sticking my head out I notice all the lights are off and I have no idea where Hunter will be. I just pray he’s not sitting on my bed waiting to pounce because I may breakdown all over again. Arrow opens the door wider when I exit and I start to walk down the hall, only to stop three steps away from the doorway.
“Arrow.” I say turning around to face him.
“Yes, Kat.” he leans against the frame as he speaks.
“I’m a bad mother fucker.”
He laughs loudly.
“Yes, Kat. You’re a bad mother fucker.” He confirms, continuing to laugh.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Kat.”
I run down the hall and find my room in dark. Having no door has its pros and cons really. The pro is, I can find my room in the dark because mine is the one you fall into when the wall runs out and you trip, skip and hop into the room. I feel my way to the bedside table and flick on the light. I start to strip out of my clothes as soon as I head towards the bathroom. I’m completely naked by the time I get into the shower and the hot water burns the minute it touches my skin. I close my eyes and relish the feel of the cascading water. My nipples sting when I touch them. It reminds me of Hunter and his vicious mouth. I ache between my thighs pushes those reminders into over drive and now I can feel him. I could feel the way he used my body to fuck himself. To pleasure and bring himself to orgasm.
Was it bad that I wanted more?
That, I actually needed more.
I was an addict, just like my father. I was an addict for sex. For the connection between two bodies. I was feral with need. An animal with want. Lust, passion, pleasure... pain. It was always about the emotional pain. Physical pain was nothing, I could handle anything. But feeling emotional pain was more damaging and reopened old wounds that would never heal. I was destructive in my own ways, and liked that I could control my own emotional pain.
I washed my body and hair before getting out of the shower. I needed sleep and after my mental breakdown earlier, I had this dreaded feeling that sleep was the last thing my body wanted to do. I pick the towel up off the rack and start to dry my arms and chest. When the towel brushes across my breasts stings a little, causing me to flinch. I look down and notice the now going purple bite mark dear Hunter left me.
“Vampire.” I say, unimpressed with my marks.
I finish drying and get into my “Granma” nightdress. It’s white, silky with lace covering it. It flows to almost floor length and it’s something I would have pictured in the seventies or even earlier. I brought it from a vintage shop years ago on one of my weird shopping days, where instead of buying fuck me boots, I brought three inch heels. They call it midlife crisis I think. But since then, I have been through three more.
I walk to the bed and pull back the covers before jumping into Pillow Mountain. I close my eyes and think of rainbows and butterfly’s.... I lie, I think of Hunter and I may have possibly bitten off more than I could chew.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“You’re nothing but trash, who will never be good enough.” His voice is cold and shallow.
“Stop it, stop it.” I scream, pulling and tugging.
“You say you love me, but you don’t.” he grabs me again, throwing my body hard against the wall. “If you loved me, you would let me hurt you.”
“Don’t you love me?” I cry, praying my parents would come and save me.
“I love to hurt you, but that’s all, you’re nothing to me. You’re never enough, Kat. Never.” His voice is a whisper on my face but it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me.
I struggle to breathe as his hands grip my neck and squeeze. It’s a relief really. I relax as his face starts to fade into the darkness. His eyes are clearing yet cloudy still. My body wills me to struggle again, to fight but I can’t. I don’t want to. I just want the pain to stop.
I wake with a jolt and bolt up straight in bed. My hands are on my neck and I’m trying to catch my breath. I rub hard, trying to get the feel of his hands off me. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. These dreams, these nightmares, they stirred these insecurities within me. I was scared of very little, but these flashbacks, they scared the fuck out of me.
I wiped the built up sweat of my forehead, before sitting on the edge of the bed. The display on the clock showed it was only two forty five and I had been asleep for three hours.
“Great,” I mumbled to myself.
Needing a drink, I got up and padded across the bedroom to the door. The place was pitch black, I couldn’t see a thing, and I had n
o idea where the light switches were. Stepping into the darkness, my hand found the wall. I traced the wall, creeping softly. I didn’t want to wake Hunter. He was moody at the best of times, and after my little stunt last night, I feared the apology I needed to give.
The wall was smooth and cool against my palms, it was almost comforting. The shadows coming through the large glass window caught my attention as I came closer. I knew the stairs were around there somewhere and the light would help me. I hadn’t ventured out of the room at night-time, once I was in bed, I stayed there. Churches and I do not mix. Maybe that’s why I was having these nightmares?
I laugh to myself. I was actually surprised I didn’t catch fire the moment I walked into the joint.
The light being thrown out from the moon was enough for me to find my way to the stairs. As I descended the creaking sounds echoed the vacant space. It sounded like something you would see in a horror movie. I made it to the bottom and headed towards the bar. Padding across the tiled floors, I found the switch and the lights turned on in the bar. I turned the knob and dimmed the lights low.
I decided a shot was in order; I prayed it might actually help me sleep. I went for the bottle of Gin, my poison of choice in any circumstance. As I picked up the bottle, I noticed the aged scotch sitting hidden. I knew it was Hunters, and I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help but remember the taste on his lips. Taking a bottle down, I paused to listen for noises. Nothing. Dead silence.
I grabbed a shot glass, and poured the shot. Silently, I said cheers before swallowing the amber liquid. The burn was mild, and the liquid was fucking amazing. No wonder Hunter drinks it. I poured another, before sitting on the barstool. I eyed several different pictures I had seen the first day I started but had never got to the chance to look at in detail. Each picture had a Master/Submissive in different positions. The Submissive was always on her knees, but each picture had her doing something different. She was natural, honourable, and had love in her eyes.........
The submissive had the look of dedication in her gaze; the way she looked at her Master was pure bliss. She was faithful, she was wanted, and she was pleased. The Master looked happy enough; he had a firm, but tender look in his eyes when he watched her. It reminds me of the way Hunter looked at me earlier. I shivered involuntary.
One after another, I downed the shots. My legs were tingling and my fingers were numb. All the memories I had haunting my mind, were disappearing and all I wanted to do was sleep. I wanted sleep to take me, and keep me in a medium place.
When I glanced at the clock and noticed it was close to three thirty, I wondered how many drinks I’d actually had. The once full bottle in my hands was now empty and that made me giggle. Definitely time to go upstairs. I packed away any evidence of my presence by leaving a note under the bottle, saying, “I owe you.” Before I turned off the light. As quietly as I could, I tip toed back through the bar to the stairs. The closer I got to the stairs, the darker it got. With my hands out in front of me for guidance, I felt for the rail.
My hand grazed the hard wood, before I grasped it in my hand as I started to step. A cold chill came over my body, but before I had time to react, a warm hand cupped my mouth preventing me from screaming. The other hand wrapped tightly around my body.
“Hush,” he whispered. “Don’t scream.”
My pulse was racing.
Hunter rubs his nose up and down my neck, inhaling the scent of my skin. My head automatically falls to the side allowing him access. The biting pain of his teeth nipping my flesh, comes a short time later.
“You smell like scotch,” he whispered, sending my pulse into further over drive. “I bet you taste like it too.”
He removed his arm from my waist, and trailed his fingers down my stomach..... Down, until I felt his fingers piercing me through my nightdress. I struggled against his firm grip, with his hand still over my mouth and his fingers doing ...........Things to me, I wasn’t going anywhere.
“You ran from me, and I didn’t like It.” he says as he starts to kiss and suck my skin.
I could feel my desire pooling between my legs, I have no doubt he could feel it too. Hurriedly, Hunter pulled up my gown and his fingers found my aching core. I moaned into his hand as his fingers buried themselves deep within me. Unable to control the urge, I reach behind me and grip his cock in my hands. The material prevents the touch I really want to give but when he moans, I don’t complain.
Hunter moves his hand away from my mouth, but before I could say anything his mouth found mine. His tongue works against mine, coaxing, stroking, sucking. My hands came up, and I threaded my fingers into his hair to pull him closer. I wanted to feel him, every fucking inch of him. And I wanted to feel it now. With his fingers fucking me over and over, and his tongue working over my mouth, I was lost.
I moaned.
He moaned.
Hunter pulled away, leaving me open. His fingers stopped their assault at the same time.
“Kneel on the stairs, hands out in front of you.”
I did as he asked.
The wooden stairs were hard against my knees, but I couldn’t care. I would probably have bruises later, but I wanted this, I needed this. With my hands stretched out to the steps above me, and my ass proudly in the air, I waited. I heard the zipper coming down and braced myself for the onslaught of his cock.
But it didn’t come.......
Instead, a hard bite of pain struck across my ass.
I cried out unable to stop.
“I said, don’t scream.” Hunters said, leaning over me. “You ran from me, why?”
“I don’t know.” I said, a little fearful as to what was coming.
“Wrong answer.”
One.
Hunter demanded that I count.
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Four.”
“Five.”
Each time the belt struck, I counted out loud.
My head feel forwards as the belt struck again, and again. A pattern started to emerge, left, right, left, right. The burning, stinging pain was intoxicating. Soon I was lost in its purity. But I wanted more, I wanted Hunter.
“Twelve.”
“Thirteen.”
Then nothing.
I waited. I could hear Hunters erratic breathing over my own; I wanted to turn my head to see him. But I stopped myself. All I could feel was heat, my body hot with every sensation imaginable. And I liked it. I needed more. I hadn’t felt like this in years, and feeling was something I was scared off normally. But this was different, this was like ecstasy. After a few minutes both our breathing hard calmed, even breaths sounded in the air. Sensing movement from behind me, I tensed. Hunter leaned over my back, his hard length pushing through his pants brushes against my cunt.
“You owe me a bottle of scotch.” Hunter growled, before backing away.
With that, he continued up the stairs, leaving me drenched by my own juices, leaving me wanting more.... leaving me wanting him.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When I wake up, I’m hunger over. I feel sick, and I’m starving hungry. I can literally feel my stomach trying to eat my other organs and it’s painful. I stumble into the bathroom, wash my face and brush my teeth. I take a vowel never to drink again, today. I try not to retch as I scrub the dead taste out of my mouth. Hunter can keep his fucking scotch to himself. When all I can taste and smell is toothpaste, I find my workout clothes and get dressed. I need to apologise to rumbles today and maybe hunter if I was feeling generous. I leave my hair down for now, but put a hair tie on my wrist for later. I need to eat and I need to eat now.
I walk into the kitchen and the first face I see is Rumbles. He is devouring a bowl of cereal and I’m not even sure if he is swallowing before he shovels more in. when he sees me, he chokes on his mouthful.
“Shit, are you working out today?” he asks, pointing to my clothes.
I nod as I walk towards him, and take a seat at the table.
“Good, let
me finish and we will hit the mats.” Rumbles starts to eat faster.
“I wanted to apologise to you for last night, I...” I can’t get the right words.
He holds up his hand and shakes his head, as he drops the spoon in the bowl.
“Don’t. We all have secrets and when you’re ready to share you will.” He says, covers my tiny hand in his big one.
“What if I’m never ready to share?” I ask, looking down at our hands.
“We are all ready to share at one point. It’s all about letting those walls drop enough to let someone in, here.” Rumbles pats his chest with his free hand, right over his heart.
I clear my throat as I pull my hand away from his. It’s too early to have a serious conversation, and food was the only thing I was willing to let into my heart right now. I get up from the table and go over to the fridge. I open the door and see nothing but pizza boxes and empty Chinese boxes. I slam the fridge door close and turn to Rumbles.
“Where’s the food?” I ask, pointing to the fridge.
“The delivery hasn’t come yet, later today that fridge will be packed solid full of food.”
Hunter walks into the kitchen as I go to reply. He’s wearing a pair of black suit pants and white button up shirt, which is open at the top. His hair is messy and wet, and he’s clean-shaven. He looks to me than Rumbles as he enters. I can smell the aftershave and it’s like a toxic mix of seduction and sex. My appetite when from food to Hunter in less than six seconds.
“I’m hungry.” I blurt.
He walks towards me, where I have backed myself into the kitchen bench. Hunter’s stands in front of me, his eyes dark. He looks tired, but so fucking edible.
“And what are you hungry for today?” he asks, leaning in.
His body pushes against mine as his hands grip the bench either side of my body. I take him in. The smell of him is like an aphrodisiac for my mind and body. Images of last night flash through my head. His cock thrusting in and out of me, his lips on mine, me running, the spanking... it’s all so fresh.