by Mia Archer
“That sounds like a pretty depressing point,” someone muttered in the front row.
“Exactly my point,” I said. “This is a dangerous business, and you’re going to get paid pennies on the dollar considering the danger you’re putting yourself in covering these stories. As you get ready to embark on this career, as you get ready to finish this program, you need to seriously ask yourself if it’s worth it.”
I couldn’t tell you exactly when I’d transitioned from using this class as an opportunity to get in a few not so subtle digs at anybody who decided to go into writing as their chosen profession to actually caring about my students. I still thought they were a bunch of shiftless lazy good for nothing slackers who went with an easy major that allowed for a busy partying schedule in addition to setting them up for a horrible career choice. The suckers were also paying a crap load of money to the University for the privilege of making that horrible career choice, but at the same time I didn’t want to see them smashed by some villain who had fewer scruples than I did about collateral damage. Especially considering the very literal meat grinder that most of them would be fed into after graduating when they started looking for entry-level jobs at the local news outlets in Starlight City.
Of course even if I did care, I hadn’t forgotten my original purpose for being here. Even if we did share lingering glances after class, I hadn’t forgotten that my ultimate goal was to get Fialux to reveal herself so I could test out my anti-Newtonian stasis field on a non-mobile goddess. To try and capture her so we could sit down and have a talk about all those lingering glances she’d been giving me over the semester. About what the hell it meant that she went from flirting with me to talking on the phone with this mysterious boyfriend and forgetting all about me every time she answered her phone.
It was driving me insane, and if it turned out that it was all a big tease, that it was all part of some naughty professor fantasy, and it turned out that she was Fialux, well let’s just say that I was going to have a difficult time not testing out whether or not my matter dispersal bomb worked on her invulnerable hide.
But for now I had a part to play. I held up a remote and pointed towards the matter dispersal bomb.
“This particular matter dispersal bomb was designed with a red light that travels around the center to show you how close it is to detonating. The faster the light moves around that band, the closer we all are to being completely obliterated. By the time it becomes a solid line you know that you have only a few moments to make peace with whatever higher power you happen to believe in.
I glanced up at the bomb. It was going at a good pace now, but nowhere near a solid line.
“Whoever designed the thing obviously had a sense of style,” I said.
Of course I was tooting my own horn since I was the one who designed the damn thing in the first place. I’d always been a firm believer that if I was going to go to the trouble of inventing a piece of technology that was decades or centuries beyond anything available to humanity currently then I was going to go to do it with style. I was particularly fond of that red light moving around the equator of the orb. I thought it had a nice retro look to it. A look that said this particular piece of technology had broken free from its human masters and was coming for you. I’m not sure why a moving red light gave me that feeling, but there it was.
Now time for a performance that would make those idiots over in the drama department go wild. Theatricality was the key to any good villainy career, and it was time for a command performance. I held the remote up and clicked at the orb. I made sure to make the movement clear. Only the light kept swirling around the center. I made the clicking motion again, and the light just kept moving faster and faster.
Students started to shuffle and glance around nervously. Even the ones who’d realized no one had actually gotten hurt so far and they were probably safe enough. That was probably part of what kept Fialux hidden for so long too, damn it. Some started to look longingly towards the exits and a couple near the back quietly started gathering their things and moving out those doors.
I scrunched up my face and made a show of inspecting the remote. I even smacked it a couple of times as though it was an unruly animal and not a piece of highly advanced technology. Why people thought beating a piece of highly advanced technology would make it work was beyond me, but I’d use it for this demonstration.
The actual shut off command was keyed to my voice anyways. I wasn’t going to leave anything up to chance, including the chance one of the idiots in this class might do something stupid like grab the remote out of my hands and try to turn the thing off of themselves leaving all of us screwed. As though anyone else hitting the button would make it magically work.
Time to lay it on thick. I smacked it once more. “Weird, they told me the button could stick but it always came undone after a few smacks…”
That was enough to set off screaming near the front of the room. People started scrambling over chairs and panic was definitely setting in. I would have laughed if I didn’t know it would give away the game. Instead I continued staring at the remote as though it was an interesting puzzle and not the key to a device that was very shortly going to annihilate all life in this room, excepting perhaps Fialux since I wasn’t exactly sure how this particular weapon would work against her.
I put my hands on my hips as though I was more exasperated than scared. I glared at the matter dispersal bomb. I glanced up into the seats where Selena was tapping a pencil against her desk and looking down at me with the corner of her mouth turned up in a half smile. Definitely not the panicked reaction I saw from everyone else in the room. Whether that was because she knew this was a put on or because she thought I had everything in hand was beyond me, but it was infuriating how she was sitting there acting just how I’d expect Fialux to act with the whole not caring about a bomb that would off mere mortals yet at the same time not giving away that she was Fialux by flying the bomb away from everyone else.
She was a cool customer. I hated it.
I sighed. My shoulders slumped. It looked like once again Fialux won this round. Just like she’d won every round so far, assuming that Fialux and Selena Solare were the same person. I’d really hate to go up against her in a game of poker.
I threw the remote to the ground and it shattered into pieces. People cried out at that, but it’s not like it mattered since the thing was keyed to my voice and the remote was just a hunk of plastic with a big shiny red button in the middle. I’ve already mentioned how much I loved big shiny red buttons.
“Damn Applied Sciences Department and their useless crap!” I screamed.
The rotating red light, almost a solid bar, immediately stopped and the thing floated down into my outstretched hand. That’s right, come to mommy. Everybody in the room stopped and stared. Some breathed sighs of relief. Some put away various religious talismans they’d brought out. Others looked like they’d finally gotten around to soiling their pants and were trying to figure out a way to get the hell out of the room without letting everybody else know about the situation downstairs.
Only one person was sitting there looking completely and utterly calm.
Selena Solare.
Damn her.
“Well, that was fun. Now we should probably talk about your final paper!”
A couple of people near the back of the room fainted outright. I smiled. I still had it.
"I think that about wraps it up for today's lesson," I said. "Now for your midterm assignment."
A collective groan rose up from the class but I held up a hand with a smile.
"You'll be happy to hear that we won't be doing a test for your midterms," I said.
Immediately the angry muttering turned to more upbeat muttering.
"Instead, you will write a ten page paper elaborating on a situation where there would have been far less destruction if the hero hadn't intervened in whatever the alleged villain was planning."
The muttering turned angry again. I re
membered well from my time in college that the only thing worse than having to study for an exam was being forced to write a paper. And ten pages was pretty long as far as undergrad intro level courses went.
"If you have any questions you know what my office hours are," I said. I sat down at my desk and pretended to work while students filed out.
It was such a familiar ritual at this point that I didn’t even have to look up to tell whose shadow was crossing my desk after class was over and most people had filed out. There was still a slight lingering smell in the room left behind by those unfortunate enough to actually have little accidents when they thought they were on death’s door. The custodial staff was going to have a field day with this lecture hall. I just hoped they’d be able to take care of the smell before the next class shuffled in.
“You almost had me there,” she said.
I looked up and smiled. She smiled back, and it was radiant. “I did?”
She shook a finger at me as she grinned. “You did! For a minute there I really believed you’d lost control of that thing!”
I returned the grin. “Who’s to say I didn’t?”
“You didn’t,” she said. “I have complete and utter confidence in you and your abilities when it comes to this stuff.”
Well that answered one question at least. She still thought I was a hyper competent university professor rather than an increasingly incompetent super villain in disguise. That was good I guess?
“So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit today?”
She bit her lip. God did she look so hot when she bit her lip like that. I was surprised her eyeglasses weren’t fogging up from the heat she was radiating. And it was getting late enough in the spring semester that she was starting to wear some outfits that radiated some serious heat, if you catch my meaning.
She looked me up and down and a shiver ran down my spine. “Well it’s not for the usual reasons today.”
“Oh? What is the reason?” I asked. I raised an eyebrow. This was interesting. I also felt butterflies dancing in my stomach. Was she going to say something? Was there finally going to be an end to the tension that had been building over the semester?
“I have serious reservations about the midterm assignment you gave us.”
Oh. So much for resolving tension. At least she bit her lip as she said it. That was something.
“Well I’d certainly be happy to discuss…”
Her phone started ringing. Of course her phone started ringing. That damned phone started ringing every time things started to get good. Damn her boyfriend for monopolizing her time like that. I wanted to pull out my blaster and vaporize the thing, only that would definitely give me away.
“Let me guess? Your boyfriend?”
Selena looked at the screen and her face fell. It seemed to do that more and more every time she was interrupted. For that matter, I was starting to have serious questions about this guy. Who was he that he could draw the attention of a living goddess away like that? Only she picked up the phone and swiped at the screen. Of course she was going to accept the call.
She looked up to me and mouthed “sorry,” but I was having none of it this time. I leaned back in my chair, put my arms it together behind my head. “Well if you have a problem with the assignment then now’s the time to talk about it. Just to get rid of the person on the other end of that phone call.”
It was a test more than anything. A test to see if she’d actually put the phone down. Like most people from her generation, heck, like most people from my generation considering I was only a few years older than her, she had an unbreakable attachment to her phone. Only with most people in class that unbreakable attachment manifested itself in the form of texting under their flip up desk or browsing the Internet since it was a big lecture class and they probably figured it’s not like I was going to remember exactly who they were and dock their grade for it.
Of course those students hadn’t counted on me recording every session and using facial recognition software to figure out exactly who was texting in class and by what percentage their grade should be docked. There were going to be some big surprises when the participation part of grades was added in.
But I was getting distracted from what was important. Fialux, Selena, Miss Solare, whatever the hell her name was, was the only person I knew who was constantly distracted by the voice function on her telephone. I opened my mouth to say something, to try and get her away, but she already had that vapid empty stare on her face. The one that told me she was deep in conversation with whoever this guy was on the other end.
I sighed and leaned back into my chair. There was no helping it now. She was firmly in the thrall of her electronic god and nothing I could do would stop her. Nothing would get through to her.
Noise off in the distance pulled my attention away from Selena and towards the massive windows that ran along one side of the lecture hall. Sirens. Coming from downtown which could be seen through those aforementioned massive windows. As I watched a massive explosion went off in the distance. Big enough that it rattled the windows. I briefly considered opening a feed to one of my drones but decided against it with Selena still in the room.
She was acting odd now as well. I looked over to her and she’d stopped talking. She was looking out the window too, and as the sirens kept up their wail that blank stare started to disappear. Her face started to harden with resolve. Her arm dropped to her side, the phone still glowing but the call forgotten.
I sat forward. Now this was interesting. Finally something was breaking through whatever haze came over her when she took a phone call from this guy. I peered at the phone to try and get a closer look at his name but her thigh was blocking the screen. Damn it.
Selena glanced at me and she was back entirely. A look of regret passed across her face, then the resolve was back.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” she said.
I grinned despite myself. That was exactly the sort of thing I’d expect Fialux to say. Off to save the city and all that. Inside I was dancing with glee. I’d found a way to pull her attention away from that damned phone and all but proved that she was Fialux.
She was moving towards the exit at top speed, faster even than the people scrambling away from the matter dispersal bomb earlier. Too fast for me to try the stasis field on her without alerting her that something was up, and there was still the pesky problem that I wasn’t absolutely certain she was Fialux. I needed to think fast.
“Stop by my office hours if you want to talk about that paper!” I shouted.
I didn’t know if she heard me or not. She was out the door and I was left alone in a massive lecture hall that was starting to smell more and more as the unfortunate aftereffects of my earlier demonstration wafted through the room. I hit a button and there was a bright flash as I was teleported up to my office. I figured I could watch the show downtown from one of the drones while I waited for Fialux to take care of business there and hopefully head to office hours.
I could only hope she heard me. Then maybe we’d finally get some one-on-one time with each other without her phone and this mysterious boyfriend interrupting.
A girl could hope.
15: Wannabes
"Office hours" for me usually involved leaving behind a small transmitter tied to my wrist computer that I could use to determine whether or not someone was knocking on my door. From there it was a matter of quickly teleporting back to the university where I could impart my knowledge on the eagerly awaiting student.
Only today I didn’t bother with any of that crap. I didn’t even bother going back to the lab. As soon as the door was shut behind me I flipped up the 3D display on my wrist computer and got ready to watch the show. My only regret was the university’s policy against popping popcorn in any faculty lounges, because I had a feeling I was going to want some in a minute.
“Do you have any drones up CORVAC?”
“Of course mistress. I always have the drones up now when there is a
high probability of Fialux making an appearance. Not that you would notice.”
I decided to ignore that. Someone sounded like he was a little testy. He was probably annoyed that I’d been spending most of my time down at the university rather than back in the lab working on his stupid giant death robot project. Well that could wait just a little longer. It’s not like it would do him any good as long as Fialux was a going concern anyways.
The holodisplay resolved in place just in time for me to make out a caped figure hovering over the Thomas building. At first I thought it was Fialux, but upon zooming in I realized that couldn’t be the case. There was no way Fialux would be floating in that particular pose, as though she was looking down at an anthill she was about to smash, and there was definitely no way she’d be carrying a massive gun like that.
“Could you zoom in on the piece CORVAC?”
“Already identified it mistress,” CORVAC said. “It looks like a crude modification of one of your early designs. From the BFG9K series I believe.”
“I thought it looked familiar, now the real question is how the hell did some random wannabe get ahold of that?”
The figure wavered and dropped about ten feet before reasserting themselves. I squinted again. That almost looked like the wild flailing of someone getting used to flying with antigravity units for the first time. It took a few tries to perfect it, and it definitely wasn’t the same sort of flying as the stuff the rocket jockeys used. Actually, this was the first villain other than me to use the antigrav stuff that I was aware of.
“Is that antigrav another copy of my stuff?” I asked.
“Hard to tell mistress,” CORVAC said. “I cannot get a clear reading on that tech in the same way I can the gun.”
“But I’m the only one who’s supposed to have that tech,” I said.
“Up until now I would have agreed with you,” CORVAC said.
I tapped a finger against my lips. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. If someone was showing up using tech that only I had that meant there was someone else out there who was as inventive as I was and who was capable of pulling together the resources needed to fund an operation similar to my own.