by D. N. Carter
Paul read the passage fully. He was tired and still felt sick. He placed the Bible down on his small side table and crawled back into bed. The image of the white haired man flashed in his mind, his words repeating over and over. Despite all that had happened, and his confused anger he felt towards Alisha, he knew deep within himself, he would die for her without hesitation. He had tried so hard not to cause his father any further grief than he was already suffering after the death of Raja, but with Stewart’s behaviour, he had made matters worse. He did not feel angry at Stewart, more disappointed. Paul eventually rose late afternoon, got washed and dressed and ventured downstairs nervously carrying Sister Lucy’s Bible. He entered the kitchen but it was empty. He looked at the broken shard of sword still firmly stuck in the wooden beam. All the blood had been cleaned away save for a slight blood stain on the side of the whitewashed oven surround. The house sounded empty. Outside the sun was shining but it was bitterly cold. He felt the slight lump on the back of his head surrounded by dried blood. The rain the previous night had washed most of it out of his hair. He found his spare leather overcoat and put it on. As he left via the back door, he caught sight of Squire Simon hand feeding Adrastos.
“Simon…I thank you most kindly. Please accept my apology that you find yourself yet again seeing to my horse,” Paul called out and waved.
Simon just looked across at him and said nothing and continued to feed Adrastos, who reared his head as if to acknowledge him. Paul set off for the harbour with the intention of going to see the Grand Master and local Marshal as well as, hopefully, find Firgany and his father. He ached all over, which surprised him. When he entered the main harbour dockside, he again saw the old woman sat at her usual place. She smiled and acknowledged him, her words coming back to him. He looked toward the Templars’ headquarters in time to see Grand Master Odo walk down the steps accompanied by Gerard and Stewart and several other Templars, including Brother Teric. The harbour side was still relatively quiet of people and just a few sailors walked by. That would all change within days, Paul knew, as the winds were about to change as well as many of the berthed ships being made ready would be leaving for Outremer. Gerard saw Paul walking towards them and he leaned nearer to Stewart.
“Well, my friend…your brother approaches. Remember, you have many new brothers now. He shares a particularly un-gentlemanly trick, as does that Alisha girl…of kneeing a man where one simply shouldn’t. I think I shall call her the Donkey…or was it mule? I cannot remember,” Gerard remarked sarcastically.
“Yes Master Gerard. That did indeed catch me unawares. But that shall never happen again,” Stewart replied, his face tightened up and his eyes narrowed as he stared at Paul.
“I did warn you all back at Castle Blanc she was trouble. But she will have her uses later…of that I am pretty certain. So for now we shall afford her the protection and courtesy our Order has pledged…is that understood?” Gerard asked.
“Of course it is,” Stewart replied, still staring at Paul, who was now upon them.
“Masters Odo and Gerard. May I have but a brief word with my brother?” Paul asked politely.
Master Odo turned to look at Gerard and Stewart. Gerard simply shrugged his shoulders.
“Brother Stewart. Will you have word with your brother?” Odo asked as he rubbed his gloved hands vigorously due to the cold.
“If I must,” Stewart answered and stepped down hard in front of Paul. “What?”
“Stewart…last night…I over reacted. Please forgive me, brother…And your sword. I will pay for a new one. I have enough saved,” Paul explained.
“Are you trying to embarrass me yet further?” Stewart shot back through gritted teeth.
Paul took a step back surprised. He looked at Gerard, who shrugged his shoulders again dismissively as Odo listened bemused.
“No, of course not. I came to apologise. Stewart?” Paul shrugged as all looked at him.
“Come on, you,” Paul heard Sister Lucy suddenly say behind him.
“Paul…we have replaced your brother’s sword so no need to worry on that account,” Master Odo stated and looked at Stewart and Paul in turn. “Hmm? I sense this issue will not be resolved this day. In that case it is perhaps good timing that Brother Stewart and Master Gerard are accompanying me to Paris. Whilst we are away, I pray that you both think upon your recent actions and have manners to resolve it upon our return. Something you must seriously consider setting right, young Paul, if you still wish to join our Order,” Master Odo explained.
“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Sister Lucy announced and started to usher Paul away. “You, you are coming with me,” she said loudly, pushing him.
Several of the knights laughed until Master Odo raised his hand in silence.
“You would be wise to listen to her, young Paul,” Master Odo said aloud and waved goodbye.
Surprised and embarrassed Paul was ushered away by Sister Lucy. With his last look back, he caught the eye of Stewart, who was still staring at him very hard and coldly.
Back at the chapel, Sister Lucy made Paul sit down in Niccolas’s small office. Confused and still feeling very tired he did not argue as she lit the kindling to start a fire in the small stove.
“Now, young Paul…we shall be having a little talk. Afterwards, you will get some rest…and I mean proper rest. You are clearly exhausted, you do not sleep well that I do know, and getting soaked and cold several times now without proper after care is not good.”
“But Sister, I am fine…just tired.”
Sister Lucy sat down hard in the chair opposite Paul and looked at him and frowned.
“You will stay here tonight. I have cleared it with your father and Firgany,” she exclaimed.
“What…why, and why with Firgany?”
“Because, young man…he is bringing Alisha here so that you two can sort this ridiculous problem out once and for all. Oh and do not worry, you will meet each other in the caravan. You will be afforded total privacy to thrash out your differences.”
“And Firgany is happy with that?” Paul asked surprised.
“Oh yes. Besides, I will be right outside…though he thinks I shall sit in with you.”
Paul’s heart raced. Nervously he fumbled with his hands. Sister Lucy sat in silence just looking at him for a while before he looked up at her. She shook her head as Paul feigned a nervous smile.
“Paul…no one can tell you what to do, or how you should feel. But try and understand this. You saw Alisha kiss your brother. So what? Did it mean anything to her? Did she resist, initiate the kiss, were you filled with rage or jealousy? For you certainly cannot deny you did not feel anything. That should tell you something. If you did not feel so strongly for her, you would have been indifferent.”
“I have run the image through my mind a thousand times…and I am not sure if I was as hurt by the betrayal by my brother as I was by Ali… but I know that I also thought that if she has fallen for him…I would…I would…not stand in their way.”
“Tut tut. Would you not fight for her?”
“Did I not do that last eve?”
“No you did not. Do not develop a martyr complex, my dear Paul.” Paul looked at her, puzzled. “It is so very clear to everyone except you two, it would appear, that you both love each other. And I would stake my life upon it, that it was Stewart who kissed her, not the other way round. There is a fundamental difference. In this life, Paul, when it comes to maintaining a long lasting relationship, you must both be capable of having a steady friendship first, for a lasting love, for that is the greatest proof, not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind.”
“I do not think I understand you.”
“Paul…carnal desires, lust…they are all but fleeting passions. It is what is left afterwards that will matter the most. I know what I am talking about for, as I have told you, I was not always a bride of Christ.” Paul blushed at hearing Sister Lucy talk such matters. “Sort yourself out. Get some rest and clean your
self up properly. And for heaven’s sake remember this, the tongue may have no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.”
Paul felt emotionally raw. The words of the white haired man in his dream kept echoing through his head too, which only added to his feeling of utter despair. What was he to do? He went over and over the image of Stewart kissing Alisha. Yes he felt jealous and anger all at once; but also terrified that he had lost Alisha.
It was early evening and already dark when Sister Lucy led Paul to the ornate travelling caravan parked just a short way into the apple orchard. Niccolas would use it when he had reason to travel far after he had been left the caravan by a gypsy friend when she had died. He climbed the wooden steps and looked inside. Sister Lucy had already set a small fire in the little metallic woodburner. Large soft cushions were placed around the two side benches opposite each other with a small table set between them. The side benches were wide and could be used as single beds. At the far end, behind a part curtained off area was a large bed. As he looked at the curtain, Sister Lucy smacked his thigh hard.
“That area is strictly off limits, do you hear. You will sit opposite each other and talk. Only talk, and you will not come out until you have resolved things…is that understood?”
Paul nodded in acknowledgement. He climbed inside and sat quietly as Sister Lucy shut the swing door. A single lanthorn cast enough light to illuminate the entire interior with a warm glow, the small fire crackling away. He sat patiently, if somewhat part terrified, for over an hour. He restocked the fire with some small cut logs. Another hour dragged by and still neither sight nor sound of anyone arriving. He took a sip of some rosehip water that had sat in the middle of the table. ‘She is not coming’ he told himself. He felt sick again as the tension grew inside him. Suddenly he heard Taqi talking not far away and Sister Lucy whispering something he could not make out. Had Taqi brought Alisha at last? Paul thought. Anxiously he waited until eventually he heard footsteps climb the wooden steps, the latch on the door flick up, his heart skipping several beats. As the door slowly opened, he expected to see Alisha’s face, but he had to take a double look as the dark hair blew aside revealing Taqi’s face. Perplexed, Paul sat up straight.
“Brother…I er…father and I tried to convince her to come…but you know what she is like,” Taqi explained as he entered the caravan. Paul sighed heavily and lowered his head, saddened. Taqi moved to sit next to him and placed an arm around his shoulders. “I am sorry, my brother. You know how stubborn she can be. She went a bit mad with father too…”
“’Tis not your fault. You need not apologise for her. She makes her feelings very clear to me now…,” Paul replied quietly.
“Clearly you are saddened. But…well…actually I am lost for words. Whatever happens, I shall always consider you a brother…you know that don’t you?” Taqi said reassuringly.
“That is one constant I do know. I have lost one brother already it would seem, and Ali…,” Paul said sadly and lowered his head further into his hands and leant upon the table. “I will not shed another tear for her…I swear it.”
3 – 6
“Will you come back with me now?”
“No…I shall never go back to the house whilst she is there. It would not be fair. It will be very awkward for all of us. No…I shall stay here with Sister Lucy and Niccolas…if they will allow it. I know my father will understand.”
“’Tis such sad times. You could always come with me and become an Ashashin. Think of the adventures we could have together,” Taqi said enthusiastically. Paul looked at him as he smiled. Paul knew he was trying to cheer him, but at that moment, Paul did not care what happened to him. He shook his head in silence. “They have several Francs amongst their ranks already you know,” Taqi continued to explain.
Paul just sat in silence. There was nothing Taqi could do or say that would help and he knew it so he simply sat next to his friend for nearly an hour. Eventually Taqi stood up ready to leave. As he began to climb down the steps and pull the door shut, Paul looked at him sadly.
“Taqi…thank you.”
“Hey…what are friends for? I shall inform our fathers you wish to be alone this night…but that you are all right. You are all right are you not?”
“Honestly, I do not really know. But I will be.”
Taqi nodded in silence and slowly closed the door behind him as he left leaving Paul alone with his thoughts. After a while, Paul removed his day robes and opened the curtained off section and climbed up into the bed. He knew Sister Lucy would not mind as he was alone. He was surprised how clean and fresh the caravan was. One small mercy at least, he thought. He lay awake for an age watching the logs in the small fire burn down until they became just red embers as the patter of gentle rain rhythmically washed over the roof. Never in all his life had he felt so isolated and alone. Outside an owl hooted and a fox screeched. ‘Templar Fleet it is then,’ he told himself.
An hour later as rain still fell upon the roof, a very slight tap on the door drew his attention. ‘Must have been the wind or a small animal, or an apple falling from one of the overhanging trees’ he thought and turned over and pulled the thick sheets over for warmth. He closed his eyes when the slight tap on the door happened again. He sat up fast, alarmed. Cautiously he climbed down from the bunk and approached the door. As he neared it, the door was rapped again as someone outside knocked lightly upon it. Paul could feel his heart beating so hard and fast he thought he would faint. It can’t be Sister Lucy for she would just come in, likewise Taqi. The lanthorn was still burning so he moved it along the table.
“Who is it?” he asked quietly.
No one replied. After a few moments the door was rapped again. Very hesitantly he unlatched the door. He was shivering as he stood in just his short sleeved under shirt and under trousers. The door eased back. As it did, Paul immediately saw Alisha stood perfectly still in the darkness on the steps, her hair and top soaking wet from the rain, her bottom lip quivering from both the cold and nerves, and with her hands clasped anxiously together. She was dressed only in her light cream dress with no overcoat. Her eyes were wide and she just looked at him as he stared at her in utter astonishment. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as emotion enveloped her completely. She went to speak but nothing came out. She bent her knees momentarily before straightening herself up again. A sudden bang hit the side of the caravan as something hit it making both of them jump. Whatever it was, it shook them both out of the stupor they were in.
“Ali…quickly…come inside…hurry,” Paul whispered and outstretched his hand to her.
She looked at his hand and paused for what seemed a lifetime. Paul’s eyes locked on hers. Slowly she reached up and clasped his hand. As she did, Paul felt her touch and it shot through him like a jolt. He helped pull her as she stepped up into the caravan. Quickly he moved back as she entered and sat on the side bench near to him. She shook her head and ran her fingers through her wet hair. Paul looked around, saw a large folded towel and handed it to her. She took it and rubbed her hair dry as best she could as Paul sat back and just looked at her in the warm glow light from the lanthorn. Outside, Sister Lucy leaned back against the outer curtain wall of the chapel, soaking wet herself having stayed outside most of the night keeping a watchful eye. She looked up at the half moon breaking through a gap in the clouds.
“Father, forgive me for what I have set in motion this night…but it was your only begotten son who taught that love is the only way. Just pray he was right. Oh and thank you. It only took one rock,” she said aloud, looking upwards, and held up a stone in her left hand smiling.
When Alisha had finished drying her hair, she slowly turned to look at Paul as she placed the towel around her shoulders. In silence they just stared at each other for ages.
“Does anyone know you have come?” Paul finally asked nervously. She shook her head no. “So how did you get here…do not tell me you walked all the way alone?”
&nb
sp; Alisha moved to face him more directly. Paul could see the intense emotion in her eyes. Her hair hung down loose and he thought she looked more beautiful than he could ever recall.
“I would die for you,” he heard himself say softly without meaning to speak the words aloud. But say them he had and he could not take them back now.
Alisha sighed and her shoulders dropped as tears clearly welled in her eyes. Paul could feel tears well rapidly in his own. His throat tightened and he could hear his own heart beating so much he was sure she must hear it too.
“You…,” Alisha said emotionally, her voice sounding so soft yet pained. “You hurt me, Paul.” Paul gulped hard. He shook his head no. As a tear rolled down her face, without thinking he just grabbed her hands with his and held them tightly. He did not know what to say. His eyes searched hers; her pupils enlarged adding to her beauty as they glistened in the light. He raised her hands and gently kissed them, then looked at her again. “You totally ignored me…You hurt me so…so deeply…and…and I thought I would hate you forever for doing that to me…but I cannot hate you,” she half cried and said in a low voice. She tilted her head to the right.
“I did not mean to. I do not know what I was thinking…or doing… and…those parchments…and what I was being told…and then…when you…when you…,” Paul hesitated.
Alisha pulled her hand away, looked at Paul more intently then placed her finger upon his lip to quieten him.