by D. N. Carter
“No, Father…you cannot die,” Alisha cried and stroked his head as more tears fell.
Firgany tried to look up at her but he could not see properly.
“’Tis my time. Do not be too sad for it means I shall be better able to watch over you both.” He coughed and a large almost black clot of blood spat from his mouth.
“Firgany…my dearest friend…,” Philip blurted out, tears welling in his eyes as he held his hand tighter.
“My friend, my eyes are failing me. My breaths draw short and I am no longer cold. I am ready for this,” Firgany whispered as tears started to stream down Taqi’s face. Paul took one look at the tears in his father’s eyes. He could not watch and buried his face into Alisha’s shoulders. “My friend, I have had the most unbelievable life and journey…and that…that was because of you…and Theodoric…whom I shall shortly meet again I suspect,” Firgany said and tried to laugh. “It has been truly an honour. Now come here closer,” he whispered almost unheard. Philip leant nearer as Firgany whispered in his ear. “Lay me upon my right side and face me towards Qibla, please.”
Paul looked up just in time to look directly into his father’s eyes as tears fell from them. Philip sat back and looked at Firgany. Firgany raised his eyebrows. Philip nodded.
“You are ready?” he asked and quickly looked around to see where the sun was so he could work out which way to face him.
Firgany nodded gently and Philip leaned over, raised his head and physically lifted him up and off from Alisha’s lap and swung him round and over to rest upon his lap partly on his right side. Alisha looked at him puzzled as Philip parted Firgany’s hair and brushed it back so he could look at Alisha. Philip motioned with his hand for her to move nearer. As she knelt forwards resting upon her right arm, her left hand across her tummy, Firgany raised his right hand to touch her stomach. Quickly she grabbed it despite it being covered in sticky blood and held it tightly against her. She could hardly focus on him her eyes were so filled with tears. As Firgany looked up at her, his eyesight failing fast, he looked at his beautiful daughter’s fresh and youthful face. She reminded him of her mother. He was not afraid of dying, but he was part angry he could not be with them to ensure their safety. He beckoned she come nearer and he kissed her on the cheek. When he broke the kiss she sat back slightly, and looked deeply into his brown eyes. The light seemed to glow all around her in Firgany’s fading vision. Her eyes wide and full of emotion. He smiled. Paul rubbed Alisha’s back as she just knelt holding his hand as Philip closed his eyes and looked heavenward.
“Visio Dei,” Firgany whispered softly as the pupils in his eyes then widened enormously, his chest dropping and his eyelids closing slowly, his face serene and peaceful. Alisha and Philip felt the tension leave his body as he passed over.
“Father…please, no,” Alisha whispered tearfully. Taqi lowered his head and sobbed as Philip clenched his eyes tightly still looking upwards. Sister Lucy put her arm around Alisha and Paul together comforting as the Hospitallers formed up around them.
“What does ‘Visio Dei’ mean?” Alisha cried softly, her entire body shaking as she sobbed.
“It means ‘Vision of God’,” Sister Lucy answered and sighed heavily.
Alisha cried even more uncontrollably and there was nothing Paul could do but hold her.
After several minutes, everyone just stood in silence as Alisha kept on sobbing holding Firgany’s hand tightly. Sister Lucy put her arms around her as Paul moved back.
Philip started to recount an Islamic death prayer over his body silently.
“Bismillahi Wa Ala Millati Rasoolillah Allahumma Yassir Alaihi Amrahu Wa Sahhil Alaihi Ma Ba’dahu Wa’as’id’hu Bili Kaa’ika Waj’al Maa Kharaja ilaihi Khairam Minima Kharaja Anhu.”
“Come, my child. We must make sure you are rested and calmed down…’tis what your father would wish,” Sister Lucy said softly to her.
Alisha wiped her forearm across her face as her nose ran and tears streaked down her face. She looked up at Paul briefly. He stood up and looked at her sadly. She shook her head bewildered. Paul looked across at his father still knelt with Firgany’s head resting upon his lap as if sleeping. He was clearly struggling to keep his emotions in. Taqi looked at them all, shaking his head confused and in disbelief. Philip coughed as he tried to clear his throat.
“Children, I have gained a daughter…,” he said, his voice broken, and paused as he looked at Alisha. “But I have also lost the best friend a man could have ever asked for. He was more than just a friend…he was a brother to me. And I am proud…proud to have known him,” Philip explained and closed his eyes as tears welled in them again but he fought it. “Firgany always said he would die by a stream or bright blue river surrounded by those he loved.” Philip coughed as he ran his hand across his friend’s forehead.
Taqi shook his head as tears ran down his face. He looked at Paul. All Paul could do was shrug his shoulders and close his eyes and sigh.
“Come, Ali,” Sister Lucy said as she tried to help Alisha to her feet. Paul immediately helped raise her, her entire body still shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed, her eyes puffy and red from all the tears. She looked down at Philip as he looked at her with a sadness etched upon his face all could see and sense.
“Alisha, we shall bury your father in the manner he wished. And afterwards, we shall celebrate his life and make his memory an everlasting one…’tis my most humble honour…to call you family,” he said, his throat dry.
Alisha stood nearer to him, knelt down again and wrapped her arms around Philip and placed her head upon his chest next to her father’s face and shook as she cried silently. Philip kissed her head, closed his eyes and sighed as Paul knelt down, placing his arms around them. Taqi hesitantly knelt, shaking his head no; Sister Lucy looked at him and nodded yes, as if Taqi could not bring himself to kneel with them. To do so would in his mind be the final acceptance, admission even, that his father was dead. But then he fell to his knees, placed his head against Paul’s and wrapped his arms around them too as his emotions burst out in a flood of uncontrollable emotion and tears.
Sister Lucy, Tenno and all the Hospitallers stood in silence and bowed their heads sadly as the group just huddled together, arms wrapped around each other over Firgany’s body.
The Hospitallers helped Sister Lucy walk Alisha to the caravan and move it under the trees off of the track and secured the area for the night. Paul had gone to assist but Alisha gently pushed him away, her head bowed down. Both Sister Lucy and Taqi saw the hurt register in Paul’s eyes but shook their heads not to worry as they walked with her.
Tenno helped Philip lift Firgany with the assistance of four other Hospitallers and carried him towards a small white tent they were rapidly setting up. Paul looked at all the activity stood alone. The long dark shadows cast by the ravine’s steep sides only adding to the sense of misery as the sun began to go down. It was such a beautiful area but all he could feel was pain in his chest, his stomach knotting up tightly and an emptiness he could not understand. Suddenly he felt a presence standing just behind him and he jumped with fright as a dark moving figure appeared in his peripheral vision just off to his right. As he flinched and turned his head, he instantly saw the side of Adrastos as he moved and stood beside him, placing his head over Paul’s shoulder. He let out a sigh of relief and patted his face and held onto his rein and stroked him. Adrastos snorted briefly and moved his head closer to Paul as if it knew the sadness in his heart.
3 – 53
Paul stood for over an hour just observing the Hospitallers set up camp just inside the tree line. Philip had been inside the white tent with Tenno and Firgany’s body as Taqi and Sister Lucy tried to calm Alisha down inside the caravan. Paul thought of Stewart and how he must be feeling. He refused to believe he had disowned him and his father. And was Niccolas really dead? A Hospitaller set up a cooking fire and sparked it into life and lit a torch as the darkness increased in the ravine. The flap on the white tent flew open
and Philip crouched as he came out. He stood up straight, saw Paul and came straight over.
“Paul…my son.”
Paul did not know what to say. Adrastos neighed and raised his head as Paul held him steady. Paul just shook his head silently. Both turned to look as Sister Lucy stepped down from the rear of the caravan, saw them and walked over.
“How is she?” Paul asked quietly.
Sister Lucy placed her hands upon her hips and looked at them both with her usual stern face.
“Well I tell you now, distraught would be an understatement. Now Paul, you must not take offence nor read too much into why she pushed you away earlier. She is simply finding her own way of dealing with the immediacy of this,” she explained.
“I do not understand,” Paul remarked, shaking his head.
“Son…people deal with grief in many different ways. Alisha will be fine with you. It is a massive transition she must now go through,” Philip explained reassuringly.
“True, and being pregnant will only heighten all of her emotions. Taqi is with her and right now they are better left alone with each other,” Sister Lucy said and placed her hand upon his arm. “And you….how are you?” she asked Philip.
Philip shook his head and wiped his nose quickly as he looked to the ground.
“Me…I will be okay.” He coughed and looked up. “Tenno and I shall see to his body and arrange the proper burial as dictated by his faith. We know of a place we can do that once we have washed him.”
“And is it really true about Niccolas?” Sister Lucy asked hesitantly. Philip bit his bottom lip and nodded his head yes. “But how….why…I mean we all saw him when we left so we know ’twas not Firgany. ’Tis so very very sad.”
Paul looked at his father intently.
“And how did you know Gerard was after us?” Paul asked.
Philip sighed and shook his head sadly and kicked his foot against a stump. Adrastos snorted and shook his head.
“I am not certain, but I aim to find out exactly how and by whom… that I swear. When I arrived home, the chapel was partly destroyed and the local Marshal was already having Niccolas’s body removed from the burnt out remains of his crypt study. It was the Marshal who informed me that Gerard was already on his way to intercept you claiming he had orders to arrest him. But orders from where and whom were not clarified,” Philip explained.
“So he could have murdered him and made this all up!” Paul remarked shaking his head.
“Paul…that is exactly what I intend to find out. That is why I must return to La Rochelle,” Philip explained.
“Father, no…You must come with us…’tis too dangerous for you to return,” Paul shot back instantly alarmed.
“Paul…listen to me. Gerard is on his way to Outremer…he will not be going back to La Rochelle. Of that I am certain. But I fear there is something else afoot here that I have missed. You must take Alisha to Alexandria where I know you will be safe from his like. I also have other important parchments and designs I must have completed and deposited with the Brethren,” Philip explained softly as he grasped Paul’s arm tighter.
“But, Father…we need you with us…and…”
“Paul…this is not negotiable. You must take everyone and you must go via Freju. Tenno has vowed to get you to Alexandria for me.”
“What…why, Father? This just gets all too confusing. I mean why and how is Tenno even still here for a start?” Paul asked, confused, as Adrastos reared his head again as if to ask it too.
“I must finish the work that Firgany and I started…many years ago. If I do not, then all that we have learnt, suffered, endured and sacrificed, including his very own life this day, would have been for nought. I do not expect you to understand this at this exact moment and time, but you will one day. And Tenno, his papers were declared null and void when he arrived at Marseilles, so he had no choice but to return…and by God’s good fortune, he arrived back at La Rochelle just as I did.”
“What was in the parchments Gerard stole?” Sister Lucy asked, her hands still firmly placed upon her hips as she leant forwards a little.
“Nothing of import or value…as Gerard will shortly discover when he breaks the seal when he arrives at Marseille, if he has not done so already.”
“How so?” Sister Lucy asked, perplexed, and stood up straight and frowned.
“Firgany left me a note, along with your wonderful picture of Alisha. He explained he had reservations about Gerard and some of the parchments we had been entrusted with. So he hid them where he knew only I would recover them,” Philip explained as Sister Lucy looked at him hard.
“You mean to say you did not feel it right to let me in on this?” she asked, clearly annoyed.
“No. How could I? But I must recover them and that is why you must all still proceed with haste to Alexandria. I will eventually join you there. Do we understand this?”
“No, Father I do not understand. How can silly parchments and symbols mean and be worth so much to cost Firgany his life?” Paul stated, shaking his head. “And where was that tall blonde woman when we needed her today…the one who apparently protects Alisha?” Paul demanded to know, his voice rising.
“Paul…Alisha has already asked that same question over and over,” Sister Lucy replied.
“That in time you may also learn. Today…well…today was Firgany’s time. You must not and cannot count on people like Abi, or anyone for that matter, to take it for granted that they will be there to protect you… because they won’t always be able too…just like today.” Philip sighed heavily. He looked at the grass for a few moments, and then without any further words walked away quickly towards the white tent containing Firgany’s body. He hesitated at the front as Paul and Sister Lucy watched him. He then went and stood behind the tent out of sight.
Paul looked at Sister Lucy, puzzled.
“Paul, tie up Adrastos. Give your father a few moments alone and then go and check on him. This day has cut him deeply…I fear too deeply,” Sister Lucy said quietly.
“But I do not know what to do nor say, Sister Lucy…I am feeling very alone and I have absolutely no idea what to do next.” He sighed heavily and pulled Adrastos closer.
“For starters, you put all of them first. Ali will be fine with you, trust me on that. For now, do as I have advised.”
“Fine…but then what?”
“You then do the very best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.”
Sister Lucy returned to the caravan as Paul tied up Adrastos. Quietly he walked over to the tent. He could hear movement from inside the tent as Tenno and a Hospitaller cleaned and prepared Firgany’s body for presentation and burial. It was getting dark rapidly and, hesitantly, Paul walked around the tent to find his father. As he turned around the back of the tent, he could not see his father standing where he thought he would be. Alarmed, he looked around. Then his eye caught movement about twenty feet into the trees. Philip was knelt down, resting his right arm up against a tree, his left hand covering his eyes as he cried quietly, his body shaking uncontrollably. Paul gulped, his throat tightened, his stomach turned and emotion welled inside him so fast that tears formed and fell almost instantly. He drew a deep intake of breath as he tried not to let out a cry. It broke his heart to see his father bent over sobbing like that hidden in the shadows. Paul did not know whether to approach, stand still or walk away. After a few moments, Philip stood up slowly, his back to Paul. He straightened his tunic, adjusted the two handed sword on his belt and wiped his face. He took a deep breath and the let it out slowly.
“How long have you been stood there?” he quietly asked.
Paul shook his head.
“Er…long enough, Father,” was all he could think of to say in reply. Both stood in silence for several minutes. “How do you feel, Father?” he asked awkwardly.
“Feel? I am not sure. Today the world lost a truly great man. I have had to remove a bolt from his hand and his heart, and then shortly I
must help bathe him and then wrap him in a Kafan…so how do I feel…?” Philip sighed heavily. Eventually he turned around and slowly walked up to Paul. He feigned a brave smile and shrugged his shoulders. “Son…you do understand, do you not, why I must return to La Rochelle and why it is imperative that you go to Alexandria?” Philip asked quietly.
“Honestly…no, not really. But I have always trusted your judgement and wise council so I shall again.”
“Good. That is all I needed to hear. Tomorrow we shall lay Firgany to rest. Immediately afterwards, you must leave at once. I shall say my farewell to you now, this eve, for tomorrow there will not be time nor will it be appropriate for me to do so in front of so many,” Philip explained.
“Why…I mean how will it be not appropriate?” Paul asked, confused.
“Because, my son, I do not wish to leave you nor Alisha for but even a minute. I never wish to have you out of my sight again and it will take everything in me not to fall apart,” Philip said emotionally. Paul could feel tears well in his eyes again. These emotions were just constant and intense. “And take this,” he said and unclipped the two handed sword and lifted it up with both hands for Paul to take.
Paul just stared at the sword, the sad look upon his father’s face cutting him emotionally.
“Father, I cannot for it was for Stewart,” Paul said, his voice shaking.
“Take it. This sword appears to have a strange habit of choosing who it wants, and Stewart clearly does not belong to it.”
“Belong to it?” Paul frowned.
“Yes. You will learn in time of what I say this hour. But this sword is most definitely yours. It is not an ordinary sword…that is all I shall say on the matter. Suffice it to say you must journey into your own heart, for what you seek has always been within. And whilst you are in Alexandria please always try to remember that the greatest and wisest scholars and alchemists will read many books in their lifetime, but will still know and believe they have much to learn. A religious fanatic will read just one holy book and believe he knows it all,” Philip said quietly then offered up again the sword. Hesitantly Paul accepted the sword as both looked at each other emotionally.