by Lovell, Dani
"Here, sit there." he says, picking her up and putting her down on it.
She grabs hold of his shoulders in surprise, "wha-oa!"
I giggle, it's so funny to see her like this, Clare never gets a hangover. "Not well, chicken?" I ask sympathetically, and she whimpers in response, leaning forward to drop her forehead on my shoulder. I stroke her hair and giggle again. "Oh, poor Clare."
"What is this? Horrible... just horrible... do I have a bug?" she mumbles, amusingly.
Luke steps over and rests his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging, looking at me and smiling in amusement.
"Oh... ohhh..." Clare moans, "Never... ever, ever stop. I think I love you more than she does right now..."
Oh my god... we haven't quite got to that bit yet! Luke simply looks at me with a huge grin and a raise of his eyebrows.
"No, doll, you don't have a bug. This is what we call a minging hangover, Clare, and you're suffering for once. But you have probably only had about two hours sleep; if you drink a bucket load of water and tuck yourself into bed, you'll feel much better later," I say, feeling for her.
"Really? Oh god, I hope so, I feel like I've ingested something poisonous," she murmurs, her eyes still closed.
"That'll be the alcohol, darling."
She grimaces and raises one hand to cover her ear, "Oh dear god, shh... don't... too much Champ... oh god, I can't say the word..."
I laugh again, this is so unlike her. "Go to bed, sleep it off, you'll be okay later."
"Yes..." she says, sliding off her stool and dropping straight to her hands and knees, crawling out of the kitchen, "night night..."
~~~~~~~
When I finish, we make our way up the stairs to change. Half way up, we're greeted by Clare, fast asleep, sprawled up the second flight. We both stop and look down at her, amused, before Luke picks her up effortlessly and carries her. We part ways as I enter my room and he takes Clare to hers, agreeing to meet downstairs in half an hour to head out.
After my amazingly hot shower, I dry myself off and as I walk over to the wardrobe to get my ski clothes, I catch a glimpse of my naked body in the full length mirror on the way. Holy fuckaroony. How the hell has that happened? My bump has suddenly sprouted - it's a proper-proper bump-bump.
Blimey, there's no way I can hide that! I read that this can happen, that you can suddenly pop out in front like you've swallowed a melon. I'm not massive, but I am very clearly impregnated, and I am going to have to tell Luke about this very, very soon, because he will notice this, for sure.
I stand still, gazing at my body's fresh little development. I hold the bump, turn to see it from all angles, wondering how much it has changed since the fifteen week stage just a few days ago. In a couple of days, I'll be able to check to see what happens at sixteen weeks. Wow, and just four weeks until I'm half way there. I feel another pang of guilt. How can I keep this from him? I love him, he wants to give up everything his life is about, to be my boyfriend, how can I be so dishonest? Because you're a selfish bitch, Tilly.
I realise I've been standing, staring at myself for far too long and need to be downstairs, sharpish. I throw on my underwear and ski stuff, noting how tight my ski trousers seem since I last wore them, the day before yesterday! My tight black polo neck jumper really clings. Oh this is going to be hard work. I put on some light make-up, my jacket, and tie my hair in a ponytail, covering my ears stylishly with a chunky, knitted headband, my fringe neatly escaping from the front.
Downstairs, Luke greets me with the usual compliments and one of his dramatic embraces, throwing me backwards across his knee and kissing me passionately, making us both laugh, as always. The others - minus Clare - are all still in the lounge, pretty much the same as they were before, only Bea's hand is no longer pressed up against Daniel's nose, instead they are tangled together, faces touching, affectionately.
Once we're ski-suited and snow-booted, we leave the house, Luke collecting his board from the verandah en-route to the car. God, he looks so damned sexy like this, I'm pretty sure that once I see him attached to the board - goggles down, I'm going to want him to do it to me, just like that, somewhere deserted. Ooh... kinky... leg restraints...
"It'll probably take about ten minutes to get there, you set?" he asks as he climbs into the car next to me, having put his board in the boot.
"Yep, so tell me where we're going."
"We're headed to Aspen Highlands, where Matt, Queenie and I will do Highland Bowl. Are you sure you're okay with staying at the restaurant on your own?"
"Yes, please don't worry about me. I can't wait to see you snowboarding! So, what happens at Highland Bowl?"
The huge smile on his face speaks volumes, he is so excited about this. "Well, it's an off-piste adventure and it demands serious physical fitness, because you've got to hike to the top before you can come down. There's an epic energy up there, when you reach the top it can get quite emotional, I've done it many times, but it still knocks my socks off when I get up there, the three-sixty views are unbelievable. It's for extreme skiers and snowboarders, not for the faint hearted; it can be quite hairy. I wish I could take you to experience it."
I love how passionate he is about these things, he goes so much deeper than you could ever expect when you first meet him. He is a great big onion, with hundreds of amazing layers... I especially like the cowboy layer, too. "That sounds amazing! How long does the hike take?"
"Don't worry, I won't leave you too long, I think we'll cheat and use the snowcat today, to save time, it takes us about a third of the way up, to the first access gate, and then we'll hike the rest. The hike should take about a half hour. The ride down is the best fun, I can't come to Aspen and not come here a couple times - it's super-steep and as the traffic is low up there, the freshies last.'
"Freshies?"
"Yeah, like soft, new powder, it's freakin' fantastic."
"Sounds it, I'm excited for you."
He glances at me briefly with a beautiful smile, before turning his eyes back to the road. "Thank you, baby. It is fantastic fun, but I'm going to look forward to getting back down to the restaurant to see my girl. You better have a hot kiss waiting for me."
"Of course I will, I'd have more hot stuff waiting for you - if I could."
He turns to smile again, and winks at me before continuing with details of the day. "So we'll park up and head up on the Deep Temerity lift to meet Matt and Queenie, drop you at Merry-Go-Round, which is midway between the base area and the Bowl. You should like it, it has fantastic food and a bar."
"Great, I might sit outside, so I can see you coming."
"You don't have to be sitting outside for that, hot-lips..." he says cheekily, making me giggle, and we continue the short journey comfortably.
We park up at the base of the mountain and head over to the ski lift. The mountain in front of me looks absolutely beautiful, like most of the mountains here. Aspen is simply a stunning place to visit. Luke clips one of his feet onto his board and pushes himself to the lift with one leg. He looks like such a pro, and it's hot. We sit on the three-seater lift, and pull the bar down to secure ourselves.
Luke holds my hand in his as I take a long, appreciative look around me; it's so picturesque, and so quiet - only the smooth slush of skiers below us, gliding elegantly down the slope. I wish I was skiing with them.
"You love it out on the slopes, don't you?" he asks.
I nod, still captivated by the perfect, white brilliance of it all.
"I don't understand, if you like it so much - why don't you come out with me and take it slowly? I don't want to push you, Princess - and I wouldn't, but I can see how much you love this environment, I can see how much you want to join everyone. I'll take care of you, make sure you're okay."
I could just die. I love him so much, he's so unbelievably kind and thoughtful. I get the sudden urge to tell him right now; he needs to know! "Luke, I really... I'm... the thing is..." I pull my hand out of my thick ski glove and rest it on hi
s handsome face as I stare into his perfect, bright blue eyes... and he interrupts.
"It's okay, Til, I know, you don't have to explain. But, one day - I hope you'll let me bring you out here again and get you back in the swing of things. I want to share this place with you so much."
Damn it. Although, in hindsight - that was probably a good thing - nobody wants to freak out on a chair lift. And how bloody sweet of him, I hope he'll want to bring me back again, one day. "I'd like that." I respond, gazing at his face.
He leans towards me and kisses me slowly, "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known - I love every little bit of you," he whispers, and kisses me again. My heart pounds in my chest as his lips touch mine, my eyes remain wide open, staring at his face... he didn't mean that in that way, did he? Just hearing the words 'I love' come out of his mouth turns me into a giddy mess, even if that's not how he meant it. So I make light of it, as we do.
"See - I told you you're totally in love with me," I say against his mouth with a cheeky grin, and he pauses, staring at me, into my eyes - my soul.
"I am, Princess," he says, quietly, looking my face up and down, taking in my every feature, "I totally am in love with you."
Oh my god! Oh my god! Holy crap-nuggets, oh my... "Uh... you... uh..." I stutter, totally thrown and utterly overwhelmed.
He chuckles and holds my face in his big gloved hands, "Yes, I, uh, I, uh..." he says laughing, "I love you, like, really, really love you."
My mouth drops open and a smile forces its way through, "I... wow, I wasn't expecting... wow."
He simply shrugs his shoulders, almost apologetically and tilts his head to the side, "That okay?"
I laugh, still shocked, "Of course that's okay. I... well, I... I love you, too," I say timidly, a bit apprehensive about admitting it finally, I've been holding it in long enough.
"I had hoped you might. Well, would ya look at this, the fuck buddies have only been an item a couple hours and they love each other already. We better get your finger sized up..." he says with a grin and I smile at his joke. I wonder how this changes things - maybe he really won't want to leave, when I tell him. Oh, but what if he does? Now that I know he loves me... I'd be even more broken.
"You really love me?" he asks, vulnerability pouring through his expression by the bucket load.
I smile and stroke his precious face again, skimming over his dimples. "Yes, I love you. I have done for a while, but was trying to ignore it and get over you."
"Well you don't have to anymore. I fell in love with you way back, I think I really knew about it when you were leaving LA - when we went for brunch with Bea and Danny. I saw you feeling their heartbreak, looking at them with such sadness and compassion, I wanted you to feel that way about us."
"I was. I just hid it well. I didn't want to admit my feelings to anyone, not even to myself, and especially not to you."
"Hold up - you told me you hadn't fallen in love with me, the other day, when you were explaining why it all got 'weird'."
"I know. I wasn't about to tell you then either. Luke, you have to understand, I know you, I know your life, it's hard to believe that you could give up what you know to be a boyfriend..." ...and a Dad, but we'll get to that later.
"I understand that, but I want nothing more than to give all of that up, for you. I need you to be confident about us, and not worry that I'm going to be bad when you're not around. I'll be bad with you, but that's where it stops."
"Okay. I'll probably have a few worries when you're working with your women though - knowing what you used to do with them, I suppose I'll have to try and get used to it."
"I don't have to do that anymore, baby. I did it because I enjoyed that life. I've got you now, I don't want it. I'll stop with the trainer thing."
He'll do something else? Just like that? "You can't just change careers because you got a girlfriend today, what will you do for money?"
He smiles, knowingly as we reach the top of the lift and raise the bar, stepping off the seat before it swings around to descend again. "We'll talk about it later, sugar-lips, that's not something you should be worrying about." He unclips his foot from the board and picks it up, taking my hand, walking towards the restaurant. It's a large, one story building in the shape of a wide, isosceles triangle, with a glass frontage.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asks as he wedges his board in the snow, leaning it against the rack, "Inside or out?"
"I'll sit inside for now, I'm a bit cold. Maybe I can get a place by the window..."
He strides inside, confidently, finding me a table by the window immediately. "This okay?"
I smile, "Perfect, thank you. Go and enjoy your adventure, I'll see you later."
"I'm not done yet, sit and I'll be back," he says before walking away from the table.
I frown, but settle myself, taking my jacket off and staring out into the pure white morning. He's in love with me. He has just told me that he loves me, on a ski lift, totally out of the blue. I'm struggling to believe it to be honest - we're just fuck buddies... Well, I suppose we're not anymore, he's my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend and we actually love each other. Oh my god, this is fucking crazy! Neither of us were looking for this!
"Hey, Princess, here you go," Luke says, surprising me, as he places a steamy cup of hot chocolate in front of me.
I look down at the drink and back up at his face, his expression totally casual.
"Thank you, darling, I could have got this myself."
"Pah," he says, waving his hand, "what are boyfriends for, huh? You want a snack, too?" He bends down, resting one hand on the table and the other on the back of my chair.
"No, thank you. This is great."
He slowly moves his face to mine and rubs our noses together as he whispers, "I'll be thinking of you sitting here, waiting for me so you can tell me that you love me again - the whole time I'm up there."
I smile broadly and look into his twinkling blue eyes, "Is that right?" I ask, brushing my lips against his, "I think you'll be picturing me totally naked, except for a pair of big socks, bending over for you in front of the fireplace."
"Holy fuck, I like your visual better - but while you're bending over, naked, I still want you to tell me that you love me again."
Oh my god, he's so cute! I giggle, "No problem, big-boy. I bet you're hard already, aren't you?"
"Too fucking hard - wanna feel?" he asks, flashing his dimples and winking.
"Dude! So good to see you!" Matt disturbs our intimate moment, calling out from behind him. Luke immediately stands to turn and greet him and they share another slap and man-hug.
"Hey, Tilly, is it?" Matt asks, leaning forward to take my hand, and I nod. "Great to see you again, Tilly, this is Queenie, my hotdog of a wife," he says as he turns back and waits for her to finish greeting Luke. Hotdog? Is that a compliment?
"Babe, this is Tilly, she's... uh, she's with Luke,"
"She's my girlfriend, Queen," Luke says, rolling his eyes.
"Hey," she says stepping towards me and stretching out her arm for me to shake her hand. She's so pretty with gorgeous, long, strawberry blonde hair, a welcoming smile and... wow, gigantic boobs! Blimey, she's hot. This is the reason men hit the slopes in Aspen, clearly. And they're married? I'd have never guessed, they seem so... cool, I suppose I imagine all snowboarders to be stereotypically wild at heart and carefree. I don't really think about their regular lives off the slopes.
"Hi, Queenie, great to meet you, I've heard lots about you."
"Good to meet you, too, and feel free to call me Kat, most people do. It's great to see Luke with a proper girlfriend at last."
Yep, and that's me! He chose me! "Luke's really looking forward to heading out with you today, I'm sorry I can't join you."
"It's cool, I'll get to know you a bit better when we get back down," she says with a smile and warm, understanding tone. I wonder what Luke has told them.
"Shall we head out?" Luke asks as he slips his gloves back
on and grabs his hat.
"Sure, catch you later, Tilly." Queenie/Kat says, smiling before she slips her hand into Matt's and walks outside.
Luke strolls over to me and bends to kiss my lips, "I'll try to go fast, don't go anywhere."
"Oh, I won't, and take your time, enjoy it, I really want you to."
"Thanks, Til. See you soon. Enjoy your hot chocolate," he says, picking up the cup and taking a cheeky slurp.
"Cheeky! Off you go..." I say as he gives me one more frothy, chocolaty kiss and disappears around the corner and out of the door.
I watch through the window as they get themselves sorted and head out towards the snowcat. I sigh, trying to take in the many events of today... and it's not even lunch time! I cannot believe I have a boyfriend, but the biggest, most amazing revelation today is, of course, his declaration of love.
This has to make things different, I mean, I'm not saying this will make him want to have kids with me right now - but if he loves me, surely he won't want to leave me because of this. No, we can do this together... he'll want that, he'll love me enough to get over the initial shock and learn to adapt his life to become part of our baby's life. Even if we're not living together straight away, as long as he wants to be an active dad, we can work it all out... can't we?
It doesn't feel like I've been sitting here for long at all when I see the three of them returning, looking like they're having fantastic fun together, gliding down that long slope ahead of the building. Oh, I'm so envious, I'd love to be out there with them right now; but I have this melon to think about, and as much fun as it looks, I'd rather feel comfortable knowing that I'm not putting Wriggler in any unnecessary danger.
I step outside, leaving my scarf, gloves, and drink on the table, and stand to wait for them to get back to the restaurant, watching, utterly transfixed on my hot bad-boy. He's just so fucking edible right now, I never knew how much snowboarding turns me on.