‘There you go,’ she says.
‘What?’
‘You do want me, don’t you?’
‘Kristin, please get dressed.’
He looks… repulsed. That means she’s really ugly. She knew it.
‘I know you want it,’ she still hears herself saying, as if she’s entered an alternate dimension. ‘Even though it’s not Saturday. Everyone wants to.’
‘Not me,’ he says. ‘Not like this.’
He picks up the bra from the floor and passes it to her. She silently puts it back on. Together, they dress her and soon they stand opposite each other like two mannequins, stiff and awkward.
Is it time to say goodbye?
‘Kristin?’ he says. ‘How have other men handled this?’
She looks at him in surprise.
‘They have not handled it,’ she says truthfully.
Niklas nods and kisses her on the lips.
‘Right,’ he says.
He slings his worn backpack across one shoulder. She knows exactly what it contains. He’s predictable and normal, her Niklas. Can she live without him?
‘Don’t worry about me,’ she says, sounding unnaturally mature. ‘But I can’t go and see your parents on Saturday. Okay?’
That would mean venturing outside and she can’t now.
‘Fine.’
His steps echo as he descends the stairs and, for each one, it feels as if he’s slipping away from her. She locks the door and rechecks it five times. She will not freak out. ‘Breathe,’ Olof would say and, ‘Stretch your arms and legs out.’ But it feels more stupid than normal.
*
The phone rings and whoever is calling is persistent. Eventually she worries that it might be the hospital. What if Niklas has been involved in an accident? She answers with a short ‘hello’.
‘Why haven’t you been at work?’
Ebba’s voice is loud and mad and, even though Kristin is upset with her for meeting Niklas behind her back, her voice is comforting. It’s not a scary, accusing caller.
‘It’s reflecting really badly on me,’ Ebba continues. ‘I got you this job, remember?’
‘Who paid you to be my friend?’ Kristin asks.
‘Oh, that…’
‘I’m not angry,’ Kristin says. Well, she is but there are other, more pressing matters at hand. ‘I just need to know.’
Ebba hesitates. Kristin can hear her breathing into the phone and for the first time she wonders if it’s Ebba who’s made the prank calls. Maybe she hasn’t been clear-sighted enough. Because you’re stupid. She never did do well at school, but it was mainly because she got stuck scrutinising her own work.
‘It was a man,’ Ebba says. ‘I don’t know his name, but he said you were new here and that you needed a friend. I wanted the money – I mean who doesn’t, right? So I agreed. But then I got to know you and I really liked you.’
I really liked you. The words make her feel warm, just for a second.
‘Have you heard from that man since?’ Kristin asks.
‘No, he never called back.’
‘He called you?’ That’s interesting. ‘Do you have his number?’
‘No, it was protected.’
Of course, it was.
‘What did he sound like? Did he speak Swedish or English?’
‘Swedish.’
Good, that rules Stanley out.
‘It’s difficult to place his accent. Maybe from further up north or I don’t know?’
Her father? Kristin’s frustration blossoms. Ebba obviously didn’t mean to get caught up in this, yet she did.
‘Apparently he saw us come out of group therapy together,’ Ebba continues. ‘I’m not sure how he got my number. Maybe he followed me to my apartment and took it from there?’
Someone saw her come out of group therapy?
‘It’s strange that we both have similar disorders,’ Kristin says suspiciously.
‘That’s Olof’s specialty,’ Ebba says.
True. That’s not quite so strange but many other things are. Kristin rests her head in her hands. What is she going to do now?
‘Why did you go behind my back and contact Niklas?’ she asks.
‘I desperately needed to tell someone about that guy paying me and I couldn’t tell him over the phone. That’s why I set up a meeting.’
‘You told him I wasn’t good for him.’
‘That got his attention, didn’t it?’
Ebba has an answer for everything. ‘That’s not the point.’
‘I’m sorry, I’m not good at this friendship stuff, okay?’
‘Actually,’ Kristin says. She’s got an idea. ‘You can make it up to me. Ebba, would you like to come and visit?’
Since she won’t be able to leave the apartment for a while, Ebba can bring her supplies. Kristin will store food cans under her bed. That way, Niklas won’t be suspicious. If he realises she’s hiding out, he will think she’s losing the plot or call the police. She’s not sure what would be worse.
*
A few minutes later the intercom buzzes. Could it be Ebba already? Kristin lifts the receiver.
‘Hello?’
‘Kristin?’ says a voice that isn’t Ebba’s broad Skåne accent. Instead, it’s the overbearing voice of her father. He’s back already?
She thinks quickly. At least he thinks this is Kristin’s place. ‘Eh... yes,’ she says.
‘Sofia, please let me in.’
She hangs up. Saying anything was a mistake. She shouldn’t even have answered. She should have asked Ebba to call her from her mobile phone first. She should have… she should have… But it’s too late now. She’s not sure how long she stands there, deciding the best course of action, when she hears footsteps on the stairs outside. Without thinking, she runs into the living room where she sits on the floor, hiding next to the open door.
Someone knocks. The doorbell rings. The flap that serves as a letter box opens. She holds her breath. What is he going to say? ‘Sofia. Please open.’ It’s a silly thing to say. Clearly she’s not going to. ‘I want to help you. You have to stop running.’
She pulls her legs close to her chest and rests her head on her knees. Kristin did stop running. This is where she wants to be. She’s happy. Leave me alone.
After a while it sounds as if he walks away but she’s too scared to open the door to make sure. At least he’s gone. For now.
*
The next time the buzzer disturbs the silence, she lifts the receiver without saying anything.
‘Kristin? Hello?’ It’s Ebba.
‘I’m here. Is there anyone else there with you?’
Ebba groans. ‘No, of course not.’
‘Don’t let anyone else in,’ she says. ‘Promise me that. Close the door behind you.’
‘You sound crazy but, yeah, okay.’
She buzzes Ebba in and waits by the front door until she’s outside, knocking hard.
‘Are you alone?’
‘Ye-e-e-es.’
‘You’re absolutely sure? Look up the stairs as well to make sure no one is hiding up there.’
After a few seconds, Ebba theatrically says, ‘The coast is clear.’
Kristin opens the door, pulls Ebba inside and closes it quickly behind her. Locks. Checks that it’s locked, again and again.
‘Hello? Kristin. Hello?’ The shopping Ebba has brought lands on the floor with a thud. ‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’
She thinks. ‘Not really,’ she says.
Ebba shrugs. ‘Fine. Here’s your stuff. The receipt is in the bag.’
‘Thanks.’
An uncomfortable silence descends on the hallway. Kristin is thankful to Ebba. She’s just not willing to let her all the way back in yet. They bring the shopping into the kitchen and awkwardly sit at the table.
‘Didn’t you think it was strange that someone wanted to pay you to be my friend?’ Kristin says.
‘Not really. I thought someone was worried abou
t you. It was sort of sweet.’
‘Hm. It’s …’ She bites her lip. ‘How did he pay you?’
‘Oh, he attached the envelope with money to a park bench behind the library.’
‘Clever.’ That would leave little trace. ‘Did you happen to see him?’
It’s a long shot but Ebba nods.
‘You did? Really?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Ebba say coolly. ‘I watched the bench for a few hours before I was supposed to pick it up. Thought I would catch him in the act, you know?’
Why hasn’t she told Kristin this before?
‘And…?’
‘He was wearing a cap and he looks an awful lot like that guy.’
Kristin turns around to see where Ebba is pointing. It’s a photo of Kristin with her two brothers. She rushes across the room and pulls the frame down from the wall.
‘Which one of them?’ she says, feeling stressed.
Is Anders alive? That means she’s innocent.
‘Definitely that one,’ Ebba says and points to her older brother, Peter.
Chapter 37
Stanley was quiet in the car but once his shoulders relaxed, I asked if I could sit in the front. He pulled over and told me to climb over the gearbox.
‘No tricks,’ he warned.
‘She’s pretty,’ I said about the girl, trying to open him up.
‘Mm.’
‘You like her?’
He turned to me. ‘Right now, I like you.’ He gave me a big smile. Oh. He placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed it.
‘Do you like me too?’ he asked.
‘Eh, yes.’
I did like him. He was the most decent one of X’s guys. At least, I had thought so until he had punched me. But if this was a way to gain more information, I could really like him. After all, sleeping with Stanley wouldn’t be much different from sleeping with other, unknown men.
‘Where are we going?’ I asked, placing my hand on his.
‘You’ll see.’
He switched the radio on as we kept driving. The music unnerved me. I needed him to keep talking. What if he was going to bring me to that disgusting motel? Or… I wasn’t sure what was worse… terminate me? I was all too aware of the gun hiding in the lining of his trousers.
‘Does X know about… the guy who turned up at the house?’ I asked.
‘Of course.’
That wasn’t good.
‘But he understands that it’s not my fault, right? I didn’t lead him there.’
He shot me a glance. ‘Didn’t you?’
‘No! I broke it off with him before I moved in with X.’
‘You didn’t go calling him for help?’
‘Absolutely not.’
He seemed to ponder this.
‘X believes you called him,’ he said.
‘With what phone? I didn’t. Please, help me, Stanley, you have to believe me. I’ve been doing a good job, you know that I have.’
I needed to remind him that I was a human being and not someone he could slaughter.
‘You have, for the most part,’ he agreed. ‘That’s why you’re still breathing.’
Right. I closed my eyes and absorbed what he’d said. What could I do to make sure I stayed alive? Just then, the car swerved as we took a sharp left.
‘Detour,’ he announced.
I sat up straight. His erratic driving freaked me out. What was he up to? I studied Stanley’s profile as he drove, but he gave nothing away. A few minutes later, he stopped at a motel and I panicked.
‘No!’ I screamed. ‘Please don’t make me do this.’ I cried. ‘Please!’ I begged. ‘Don’t do this to me.’
He pulled the gun out and pressed it into my ribs.
‘Shut the fuck up. It’s not what you think. Okay? Trust me.’
His eyes showed warmth. At least I wanted to believe that they did. I nodded.
‘Fine, I’ll be quiet, but please don’t let anyone hurt me.’
‘I won’t. As long as you’re quiet. Yes?’
We checked in and although I tried my best to convey to the staff that I needed their help, they seemed uninterested in me.
Cautiously, I followed Stanley as we walked to a room. The key in his hand was reassuring; it meant it wasn’t likely that anyone was already in there, waiting.
He closed the door behind us and locked it, putting the key in his pocket.
‘Why don’t you have a nice shower?’ he said.
He’s going to shoot me in the shower, I thought. It will be less messy that way.
‘No,’ I said, my voice fierce.
I was not going down without a fight, but Stanley grabbed hold of my shoulders and pushed me up against a wall.
‘Take a shower. Then come and join me here.’
He pointed to the bed, then pressed his lips to mine, fumbling for my breasts. It wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t loving either.
‘Okay,’ I said.
I had the quickest shower I’d ever had, constantly listening out for sounds of the door opening. As I stepped out of the shower to grab a towel, he was leaning against the wall, watching me. How could I not have heard him?
‘This way,’ he said, taking my hand and leading me to the bed.
Did X know that I was here? Did he know about this? Or was Stanley acting on his own? Maybe that would give me a better chance to break him.
I went through the motions. Desire and Amanda took turns pleasuring Stanley, Desire doing what she did best while Amanda tried to evoke emotions. Could he fall in love with Amanda?
It wasn’t satisfying. It was a job I was happy to have completed, but Desire made sure I smiled and cuddled Stanley afterwards. Amanda would have hidden in the corner, consumed by shame.
‘Not bad,’ he said. ‘But how do you do it, with different guys all the time?’
Was he testing me?
‘It’s not normally like this,’ I tried, hoping he would feel special.
‘What if you call that guy again?’ he said, which made my skin prickle. Why were we back talking about that?
‘I didn’t call him in the first place,’ I said softly.
‘What if he calls the police? Our operation is no longer safe because of you. We’re moving to another house today, and X wants you out of the way. All the way. Do you know what that means?’
I sat up. ‘Please, Stanley. Let me go.’
Maybe if I stopped playing games, I could reach him? If I was being me, imploring him to see that I was an innocent victim.
‘You know I can’t do that,’ he said.
Why not? I wanted to scream. Why the hell not?
I was frantically searching my brain for other ways to get out of this.
‘What about the girl?’ I said. What was her name again? ‘Sofia! I know you like her. Maybe I can help?’
That was the first time he looked at me, his eyes curious. Yes, I thought. I’ve got him.
‘I understand she’s different from the rest of us, but how? If you can explain more, I can talk to her. I will tell her what a great guy you are. That you will be good to her, the way you have been to me.’
‘You don’t think that.’
‘I do, I do,’ I promised. ‘You know that you’re the only security guy I have taken the time to talk to.’
He nodded, as if reflecting on this. It was true and he knew it.
‘She’s not who you think she is,’ he said after a while. ‘She’s… connected to the boss. I mean the big boss, not X.’
‘Okay…’ My eyes pleaded with him to elaborate, but he didn’t. ‘Does she think you’re less important than her?’ I tried.
‘Yeah, exactly. She’s so fucking frustrating, as if she’s better than me.’
‘I can help with that. Tell her how much authority you have.’
‘She used to talk to me,’ he said. ‘But the moment I told her I wanted her, she shut the door in my face.’
You should probably stop grabbing her and talking to her as if you own her, I
thought, but I knew saying it out loud wouldn’t help my case.
‘Give me a chance to talk to her,’ I said. ‘Please. I will give it my best shot to help you.’
He nodded.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’m due to pick her up this afternoon. You come with me and I will let you two chat. You fix this and I will maybe let you go. Maybe.’
I exhaled. Yes! This could be my chance. I would find out who Sofia really was and get her to help me.
Chapter 38
Gabriella
It’s possibly her last session with Peter before she can start the ‘lost wax process’. Gabriella is smoothing out part of the clay with a metal kidney tool followed by a brush.
‘Seen the neighbours again?’ Peter asks.
She surveys her tools, looking for a new one. They are all lined up like a surgeon’s scalpels: wire and modelling tools, scrapers and spatulas. She selects one used for texturing.
‘Yeah,’ she says. ‘The husband came by.’
It’s been bugging her, so she might as well tell him.
‘Really?’ Peter turns towards her but promptly resumes his pose. ‘What did he want?’
Gabriella sprays water on the clay to keep it moist and easy to mould.
‘He bought a few sculptures,’ she says, finding her rhythm, which makes it easier to talk and work simultaneously. ‘Obviously that was great and he was sort of pleasant on the surface. But… I don’t know, when he spoke about his wife, he lost my respect.’
‘Really? Why?’
‘The way he talks about her, as if he needs to control her. She seems scared of him.’
‘Oh.’
She perfects the details, one by one, pleased with how it’s coming along.
‘Well, anyway,’ she says, looking up. ‘The plot thickens. I took the wife to see her mother. Turns out she lives in a care home in Helsingborg and her husband thinks she’s dead. Isn’t that strange?’
She resumes her work, closely watching his chest; the lungs rise with every breath.
‘Her mother?’ he says.
Gabriella looks up again, unsure. Did she just betray Birgitta’s confidence?
‘Forget I said that,’ she says. ‘It’s not really any of my business.’
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