Ghostly Rules

by K. E. O'Connor

  Helen righted a kitchen chair Lonnie had knocked over. “What’s the problem?”

  “Not sure. But he’s not looking happy.”

  Lonnie slowed by the kitchen back door and gestured towards it.

  “He wants us to go outside,” I said. I looked longingly at the fresh garlic bread.

  “The bolognese can cook on its own for a while,” said Helen. “Why don’t we go see what our ghostly friend is worried about.”

  I hopped up from my seat, and the three of us hurried out the back door.

  The second we got outside, I could hear raised female voices screeching at each other.

  “That sounds bad,” said Helen.

  “That sounds like Elita and Chelsea fighting again.”

  Lonnie nodded and beckoned us to hurry.

  We ran past the tennis courts and over to the swimming pool. Elita and Chelsea stood almost nose to nose, glaring at each other. Michael, Ignatius, and Carson were also there.

  “If you tell me again that I have to leave this house, I’ll rip that weave right out of your scalp.” Elita shoved Chelsea.

  Chelsea staggered back on her high heels but righted herself and shoved back equally hard. “This is all natural. Just as this is also all mine. No one wants you here. You’re not welcome anymore.”

  “That’s not true,” screeched Elita. “Lonnie would not want me on the streets.”

  “You’re not going to be out on the streets, you dumb mare,” said Chelsea. “Lonnie gave you more than your fair share when he divorced you and your saggy backside. He wouldn’t want you here, knowing how much it upsets me.”

  “Ladies, you don’t need to fight about this,” said Ignatius. Although, from the look of amusement on his face, he was enjoying watching them argue.

  “She’s not staying.” Chelsea jabbed a finger at Elita. “I want her gone.”

  “The house is big enough for all of us.” Carson gave a shrug and turned his attention to the drink in his hand.

  “She’s always sneaking around and watching me,” said Chelsea.

  “I’m the one sneaking! I caught you in my bedroom last week,” said Elita. “What were you looking for again?”

  “The pearls you’d stolen from me,” said Chelsea. “And don’t even try to deny it. Lonnie gave them to me just before he died.”

  “Lonnie gives all his women jewelry,” said Ignatius. “He most likely brought you both identical necklaces so you wouldn’t be fighting like this.”

  “He’d never do that.” Chelsea sniffed and glared at Elita. “He told me they were one-of-a-kind. No other woman would have worn a similar necklace, and that includes her.”

  “He’d do anything for a quiet life,” said Ignatius. “My brother didn’t like stress.”

  “I never stressed him out,” said Chelsea. “I loved the man. I made him happy after years of having to put up with this worn out tart.”

  “You loved him so much you couldn’t even be bothered to arrange his funeral,” said Elita.

  “More like you shoved me out of the way and did everything you wanted without bothering to ask me.”

  Michael cleared his throat. “It might be better if the two of you have some time apart.”

  Chelsea waved a hand at Michael. “You keep out of this. I know you’re on Elita’s side.”

  “Michael is as much a part of the family as any of us,” said Elita. “In fact, more so than you. You barely knew Lonnie before you forced him to put a diamond on your finger. Michael has been here since he was a child.”

  Michael scuffed his feet along the ground.

  “Shouldn’t we do something?” whispered Helen.

  “Get in the middle of a Cornell family fight?” I asked. “I don’t fancy risking my neck over this.”

  Ignatius stepped forward and took hold of Chelsea’s arm. “My dear, it might be a good idea if you go for a walk and calm down.”

  “I’m calm!” Chelsea shook his hand off. “It’s this old crone who needs to sort herself out.” She glared at Elita. “You’ve got a week, and then I want you out of here.”

  Elita folded her arms over her chest. “I’m going nowhere.”

  “Neither am I,” said Chelsea. “And I’m not living in this house with you.”

  “You’re welcome to leave,” said Elita. “I can have your bags packed for you, and you can be out of here by the end of the day. It will be my pleasure to arrange that.”

  “Like I’d ever leave here,” hissed Chelsea. “The second I do, you’d change the locks to stop me from getting back in.”

  “That’s a good idea.” Elita smirked at Chelsea. “The next time you plan a girls’ weekend away, I might have to do that.”

  Chelsea shrieked in rage and ran at Elita, knocking her backwards and straight into the swimming pool.

  “Now she’s done it,” said Helen.

  I shook my head. “This isn’t going to help them figure out their living arrangements.”

  Both women surfaced and gasped for air.

  Flipper dashed away from the bush we’d been lurking behind and headed straight towards the pool.

  “Flipper!” I said in a loud whisper, trying to stop him from revealing us.

  He ignored me, bounded towards the swimming pool, and launched himself in, landing on top of Chelsea.

  Lonnie spun around me and then pointed at the two women flailing about in the swimming pool and yelling at each other.

  “No way!” I shook my head at Lonnie. “I’m not getting involved in this fight. The men can deal with this.”

  Both Elita and Chelsea were screaming and flapping their arms. Flipper had a hold of Chelsea’s collar and was dragging her through the water. I couldn’t decide if he was helping her or trying to drown her. Whatever he was doing, it wasn’t helping, and Chelsea was screaming even louder.

  “Maybe you should help,” said Helen.

  “Why me? I don’t see you running to jump in the water,” I said to her.

  “I’ve just done my hair,” said Helen. “And you, well, you haven’t.”

  “Which means it’s okay for me to jump in the pool and make a fool of myself trying to save those she-devils?”

  “You’re also a better swimmer. I remember you got your five hundred meter swimming badge a year before I did.” Helen grinned at me. “I’d only get in the way and then you’d have to rescue me too.”

  I looked over to see Michael hovering by the pool’s edge, holding his hand out to Elita. Why wasn’t he going in and dragging her out?

  Ignatius was bent over laughing and clutching his stomach, and Carson was ignoring it all and looking into his drink. So much for men and their chivalry. Elita and Chelsea could be drowning, and the three of them were useless.

  “For goodness sake!” I ran towards the pool. “Why don’t you jump in and help?” I asked Michael as I teetered on the edge, still not keen to launch myself into the water.

  “I can’t swim.” Michael gave me an apologetic look. “And Elita’s not too good in the water either.”

  As if to prove that point, Elita shrieked and her head went under.

  I looked over to where Ignatius was still doubled over laughing. “Go in and help.”

  “Not a chance,” sputtered Ignatius. “I’m having much too much fun watching. Carson, fancy placing a bet on who gets out alive?”

  Carson didn’t even bother to reply and refused to meet my gaze as I glared at him. He probably didn’t want to ruin his designer suit by diving into the chlorinated water.

  With an irritated sigh, I took a deep breath and jumped in. I’d better get a pay raise for this, or I wouldn’t be happy.

  Chapter 17

  I grabbed hold of Elita, hooking her around the arms and pulling her head back to the surface. She sputtered out water and started to scream.

  “Calm down,” I said. “I’ve got you now. Hold onto me, and you’ll be fine.”

  Elita coughed out water and turned her gaze to me. Her cheeks were smeared with masca
ra. “Lorna! Thanks heaven. I thought I was going to drown.”

  “I’ll get you out of here,” I said.

  “What about Chelsea?” asked Elita, a hopeful glint in her eyes. “Did she make it?”

  “Flipper is looking after her.” I glanced over to see Flipper had dragged Chelsea to the side of the pool. She was clinging to the edge, looking as bedraggled as Elita. Maybe a dunk in a cold swimming pool would cool her temper, although I doubted it.

  I swam to the shallow end of the pool, towing Elita behind me. “You can put your feet down here.”

  Elita sank her legs down and let out a relieved sigh. “I’m so glad you’re here. Those boys are worse than useless. You can’t rely on a man for anything.”

  “You can’t rely on that lot; that’s for sure.” I shot an angry glare at the three men who stood by the pool watching the action.

  Michael hurried to the steps and held his hand out to Elita as we emerged from the water.

  “Thank you, Michael, dear,” said Elita.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t come in and help.” Michael removed his jacket and placed it around Elita’s shoulders. “But I can’t swim.”

  “Then I’m going to pay for you to have lessons,” said Elita. “I need you looking out for me at all times.”

  “Yes, of course.” Michael dipped his head. “I’m sorry for letting you down.”

  Elita patted his arm before turning her attention to Chelsea, who was clambering out of the pool and shooing Flipper away. “She’s determined to get me out of this house.”

  I wrung water out of my hair. “Sounds like neither of you wants to leave.”

  “It’s as much mine as it is hers.” Elita wiped some of the mascara on her face, only succeeding in smearing it farther, and sank into a seat. “Lonnie wanted me to be comfortable.”

  Chelsea spun towards Elita, spattering Ignatius with water as she did so. “I’ll be comfortable as soon as you get your scrawny backside out of here.”

  “No more fighting,” I said. “It’s not helping you figure out what to do about your living arrangements.”

  “Lonnie had this naive idea the two of them would become friends.” Ignatius was still chuckling to himself. It made me want to shove him in the swimming pool and see how he liked it.

  “That’s never going to happen,” said Chelsea. “This is my house now, and I get to decide who stays here.”

  “Lonnie’s will said otherwise.” Elita looked down at her sodden clothing.

  “If you had any love left for Lonnie, you’d leave this house and let me get on with my life,” said Chelsea.

  Elita glared at her. “Why would I do that?”

  “Because he was my husband,” said Chelsea. “He’d had his turn with you, and you weren’t good enough to keep him. I’m the real wife.”

  Elita lurched towards Chelsea, but Michael put a restraining hand on her arm. “She’s not worth it,” he muttered to Elita.

  “There is a solution to this.” Ignatius wiped his eyes, his laughter fading as he walked towards the edge of the swimming pool.

  “What’s that?” asked Chelsea.

  “We find the hidden gold,” said Ignatius. “If we have that, we can all buy houses on every continent and still have plenty left over.”

  “But we’ve looked everywhere for it,” said Chelsea, her tone sulky. “No one knows where the stupid gold is hidden.”

  “Lonnie does.” Sylvia rolled herself onto the pool terrace.

  Chelsea shook her head. “Crazy old woman. She doesn’t even know her own son is dead.”

  “Show some respect, girl,” said Sylvia. “I know what’s going on here. And I see when someone is more interested in money than the man she married.”

  “That’s not true!” Chelsea glared at Sylvia then ducked her head when she saw the stern expression on her face.

  “He should have stayed with Elita,” said Sylvia. “She has her faults, but family is important to her.”

  “Thank you, Sylvia.” Elita tipped her head to one side. “What are my faults?”

  Sylvia shook her head. “The family keeps fighting over what Lonnie left behind, and that needs to be resolved.”

  “Ask Lonnie where the gold is,” said Ignatius. “You’re convinced he’s still around and you can see him. Get him to tell us where he hid it, and the fighting will end. Some of us worked hard to make sure we got that gold. And now, we can’t make use of it because Lonnie was an idiot.”

  “He was a smart boy,” said Sylvia, “smart enough to know not to trust you with the location of the gold.”

  I pulled off my shoes and poured water out of them. “We should leave you to it. If you have family matters to discuss, Helen and I shouldn’t be here.” I was torn between finding out more about the gold to help Gunner and hightailing it out of this house and forgetting I was ever here and had ever met Lonnie Cornell.

  “You’re involved now,” said Sylvia. She fixed me with a steely gaze. “You can’t leave until you’ve done what you need to.”

  “You mean the filing?” Chelsea’s eyes narrowed.

  “Exactly that.” Elita flipped her sodden hair over one shoulder. “Now, Lorna, will you be a sweetie and give me a hand up.”

  I did as instructed, and she pulled me closer so her mouth was by my ear. “Don’t let Chelsea in on any information you have about the gold. She’s not getting her scheming hands on it.”

  I pulled back and nodded.

  “And you need to get changed after saving me from the pool.” Elita grinned at me, walked past Chelsea, and shoved her into the water.

  Chelsea shrieked as she went under, and Flipper barked before jumping back into the pool, ever the brave hero. He was followed by Reggie, who gave a yip of delight, jumped off Sylvia’s lap, and landed on Chelsea’s head.

  I turn towards Helen, my shoulders shaking as I tried not to laugh as Chelsea screamed and spluttered as Flipper saved her for the second time, hauling her to the steps before letting go.

  “I’ll kill her!” Chelsea waved away the offer of a towel from Ignatius. “She might have been the first Cornell wife, but that doesn’t give her the right to push me around.”

  I noticed the lethal glint in Chelsea’s eyes and wondered if her desire to kill stretched to her late husband. She had a temper on her. But so did Elita. Maybe Lonnie simply liked his women feisty.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I muttered to Helen. I called for Flipper to get out of the water. “Before Sylvia drags us into a family meeting about communicating with the dead to find the gold.”

  “Good plan.”

  I put my shoes back on and squelched to my bedroom, Flipper stopping to shake water off his fur several times before catching up.

  I pulled off my clothes and had a quick shower to wash the smell of chlorine off.

  When I came back into the bedroom, Helen and Flipper were on my bed, and Lonnie was drifting around the room.

  “Which one of your angry wives should we focus on for your murder?” I asked him as I towel dried my hair.

  “I thought it was cold in here. Guessing Lonnie’s about,” said Helen.

  I nodded. “And Elita and Chelsea were fighting over the house, not the fact they missed him.”

  Lonnie’s pout was so exaggerated I couldn’t help but smile. “Who do you think we should focus on for your murder? As you saw, they’re all interested in the house and the gold.”

  “It’s got to be one of the wives,” said Helen. “It must be so frustrating having to share a house when they hate each other.”

  “I’m blaming Lonnie for that,” I said. “It wasn’t the smartest move to give half a house to each woman and expect them to get along.”

  Lonnie frowned at me.

  “Well, what did you expect would happen?” I asked him. “You dumped Elita for Chelsea and expected it to be all sunshine and roses between them?”

  “Chelsea is determined not to let go of this house,” said Helen. “Maybe she thinks the gold is hi
dden here and needs time to look around.”

  “Ignatius brought up the missing gold just now, so maybe we should still focus on him. And he did do his creepy goon impression on me in the limousine.”

  “That was low of him,” said Helen. “It’s not right to go around scaring innocent women.”

  Lonnie drifted over to me, a look of concern on his face.

  “Don’t worry. Your charming brother didn’t do anything. But he suggested he would if I didn’t play by the rules.”

  “We should keep Carson in mind, as well,” said Helen. “He could be feeling betrayed because he never got his fair share of the gold.”

  “Betrayed enough to make Lonnie pay.” I pushed a hand through my damp hair.

  “Or, if the motive wasn’t hatred or revenge, it could be about love,” said Helen.

  “Michael and Elita?” I sat on the edge of the bed.

  Helen let out a sigh. “There are so many good reasons to want Lonnie dead.”

  Lonnie scowled at me and shook his head at Helen.

  “Lonnie doesn’t like that idea.” I looked at Lonnie. “I can’t help it if you weren’t a lovable guy when you were alive.”

  That comment only made his scowl worse before he blinked out of sight.

  I pulled out some clean, dry clothes and headed back to the bathroom. “Let’s start with Ignatius. See what we can discover about him.”

  Helen poked her head around the bathroom door. “I’d better go put on my sleaze repelling spray before we do that. That man gives me the chills for all the wrong reasons.”

  I nodded as I smoothed down my hair. “Me too. Let’s get Mr. Sleazy out of the way. If he isn’t the killer, we have plenty of other options to keep us busy.” And that was a problem; we were surrounded by criminals and running out of time.

  Chapter 18

  The next day, the house was quiet when I got up. I ate breakfast with Helen and Flipper in a comfortable silence before going to the study, which was empty.

  I was just completing a sneaky look through some private files when Elita breezed through the door. “Lots to do today, Lorna.”

  “I’ve already made a start,” I said, as I slid the file drawer shut.