“Well, it’s God’s letter to you. If you got a letter from me, you’d read it, wouldn’t you?”
“I reckon so.”
“Well, this letter’s from God. You need to read the Bible and seek God’s way.”
“It’s hard to understand.”
Temperance had finished dabbing the wounds with alcohol, and now she took the sheet she had washed the day before. She placed the end of it under his left arm and leaning forward she passed the rest of it around him. In order to do this, she had to press herself close against him. Brennan looked down at her but made no comment.
When she had finally fastened the bandage, she said, “It’s not all hard. For instance there are verses that say this: ‘The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.’ Now, that’s not hard, is it?”
“Well, I guess I’d better memorize that one. I’m pretty sure to fall.”
“Maybe not. Daniel is the man I admire most in the Bible. Most of the men in the Bible failed God, even David. He was a man after God’s own heart, but he committed adultery and murder. But he had God’s promise that He wouldn’t abandon him. So, if you do fall, you have to get up and ask God’s forgiveness.”
Brennan watched her face as the flickering of the fire cast highs and lows on her features. He had discovered long ago, although he had kept it carefully hidden, that this woman had a power to stir his hungers and deepen his sense of loneliness. Watching her now, he saw something soft and gentle and appealing, qualities he had not sought in a woman before. It seemed to cling to his mind, disturbing him somehow. It was as if a warmth rose from her and touched him. Earlier he’d resented it. But now, somehow, her softness, gentleness, and goodness drew him like a magnet.
He put his shirt on carefully and then asked abruptly, “What are you going to do after we deliver these kids?”
“I don’t know.” She seemed to be hesitant, as if she were concealing something from him.
“Will you go back to Walla Walla?”
“I guess so. It’s a good farm.”
She seemed unhappy, and Thad spoke up without intending to. “I’d like to go back and help you at that place if it wasn’t for Marshal Meek.”
“Why, Thaddeus, you hated that place!”
“Oh, I didn’t hate it that bad. I reckon it was good for me in a way, but I guess I’m pretty confused right now. You know, Temperance, sometimes a fellow bends over to pick something up, and when he straightens up, the whole danged world has changed. That’s kind of the way it is with me right now.”
She reached over and put her hand over his. “It’s all right. It’ll clear up. You’re on the Lord’s side now. He’s not going to let you fall, Thaddeus.”
* * *
FORT KEARNY WAS NO better than any of the other forts Temperance had seen. It was a busy place teeming with soldiers and Indians, many of them the worse for drink. They had pulled in late in the afternoon, and she had said at once, “Thaddeus, we need to get you to a doctor.”
“No sense in that. I’m all healed up.”
“You’d argue with a stump!”
“Well, you got his measurement at last. Stubbornest fellow I’ve ever seen,” Quaid grinned. “Tell you what. I’m going to take you all to the restaurant for a meal. It’s all on me. Eat until you pop.”
All of them were excited about this. Belle had to squeeze herself into one of Temperance’s dresses. She seemed to be bursting out of it, but that didn’t bother her.
Quaid led the way to the restaurant and ordered the best in the house for everyone. Temperance enjoyed the meal, but she saw that Thaddeus said nearly nothing.
“What do you think is wrong with him, Belle?” she whispered.
“He feels left out. Quaid’s got the money and buying all the things for us and taking care of us. Thad was the big man until Quaid came along.”
“He’s in a new world, Belle,” Temperance said. “He doesn’t know how to handle the one he’s in now.”
Thad suddenly got up and said, “Thanks for the meal, Quaid. I’m going to go look around a little bit.”
Quaid watched him go and shook his head. “Thaddeus isn’t happy. I thought he would be once he found the Lord.”
“It’s hard to move out of an old life into a new one,” Temperance murmured. “We think we want to, but suddenly we have to learn a whole new set of rules.”
“I’d like to live in a world where there weren’t any rules,” Belle grinned. “That’d be my kind of world.”
“Well, you’re going to New Orleans. That’s about as close to a place without rules I know of,” Quaid grinned.
“I hope he’s not going to get drunk,” Rena whispered to Bent.
“He won’t,” Bent said. “Don’t you go to doubting him now, Rena.”
* * *
THEY HAD REACHED THE wagon, all except Thad, and all of them had the same question in mind. Belle gave words to what the rest were thinking. “I hope he’s not drinking. Hard for a man to quit cold turkey like that, but he wouldn’t be the first man to fall.”
“He won’t drink,” Bent spoke up confidently. “I know he won’t.”
Ten minutes after this proclamation Thad walked into camp. He said nothing, but he had a small brown paper bag in his hand. “Pretty busy town,” he said. It was obvious he had not been drinking.
Rena said, “I wonder if he’s got a bottle of whiskey in that sack.”
“No, he don’t,” Bent whispered. “You got to start trusting him, Rena.”
“I want to, but . . .” She did not finish her words but watched Thaddeus carefully. He put the brown sack away with the rest of his things beside his blanket. She was determined to find out what he was hiding. It took a long time after everyone else was asleep. Rena was still awake, watching Thaddeus. He had not moved, but suddenly she saw the blue spurt of a lighted match and then a candle was lit, throwing its faint glow over Thad’s face. Getting out of her blanket, she moved stealthily toward where Thad was. He had pulled himself upright and was leaning against one of the wagon wheels. He pulled the sack out and started when Rena said, “What’s in the sack?”
“Rena!” he whispered, “don’t creep up on a fellow that way!”
“What you got in there, Thad?”
“You’re nosy as a coon.”
“It’s not whiskey, is it?”
“Here, look at it.”
Rena took the sack he handed her and knew at once it was not a whiskey bottle. It was something flat and rectangular. She pulled it out and held it up to the dim light of the candle. “Why, it’s a book.” She looked at the spine and read the title: “Holy Bible. This is what you got?”
“Yes.”
“Everyone thought you had whiskey in this sack. Why are you hiding it?”
“Don’t ask questions, and you don’t have to blab about this to anyone.”
Rena felt a sudden glow of happiness. “I’m glad it wasn’t whiskey and I’m sorry for doubting you, Thad, but I don’t know why you’re so ashamed of it. It’s only a Bible.” She flipped through the pages, and then a thought struck her. She had a vulnerable look, this young girl, despite the hard things life had dealt her. “What’ll you give me if I don’t tell what you’re reading?”
Thad reached over and took the Bible. “Well, when you grow up, I’ll sort through all the young fellows who come courting you. I’ll throw all of them away but one, the best one.”
Rena giggled. “That’ll be fun. Now read me some of the Bible, Thad.”
“Why do you call Quaid ‘mister,’ but you never call me by that?”
“’Cause he didn’t save me from no Indians. Now, read.”
Thad opened the Bible, holding it reverently, and then began to read: “‘In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth....’”
Chapter Twenty
QUAID WAS LIFTING THE yoke to put on two of the oxen when a
voice behind him said, “I’ll help do that.”
Turning quickly, Quaid saw that Thad had dressed and was walking toward him. They were a week out of Fort Kearny now and had left the Platte. The country changed more as they turned south, and wagon trains were fairly common.
“It’s OK. I can do it.”
“I’m sick of doing nothing.”
Quaid started to argue, but he saw the set look of determination on Thad’s face. “I think I know how you feel,” he said. “When I broke my leg that winter up on the upper Missouri and couldn’t do anything, I was ready to blow my brains out by the time spring came and I could get around. It goes against the grain doing nothing.”
Thad picked up one end of the oxbow and Quaid the other. They laid it over the necks of two oxen and fastened it. They soon had the animals ready to go, and Thad gave Quaid a look of determination. “I’m going to ride Judas this morning.”
“That’s a pretty lively animal, Thad.”
“I can handle him. If you’d saddle him for me, I’d appreciate it.”
Reluctantly Quaid went to where the animal was staked out. He carefully approached the big stallion, for Judas was moody. Fortunately, on this particular morning, he seemed to be agreeable. Still, that meant nothing with the big horse.
After Quaid had saddled the animal and put the bridle on with nearly no struggle, he turned to find a small audience watching him.
“Why are you saddling Judas?” Temperance asked.
“Thaddeus aims to ride him.”
Thad had come up and now settled his hat down over his head. He still looked raunchy and rather strange. He wore his dirt-encrusted pants but Quaid’s fancy silk shirt.
“That’s too dangerous, Thad. You’re not ready yet,” Temperance said.
“I reckon I can do what I want to,” Thad said. He advanced toward the horse, took the lines from Quaid, and moving cautiously, put his foot in the stirrup. As he mounted, he felt pain across his wounds but nothing as it had been. He had healed well and knew it, and now as he sat there, he said, “Sorry to disappoint you. I’ve got this horse’s number.”
“I think that horse has got religion like you, Thad,” Belle grinned.
Thad was hurting but wouldn’t let on. He said, “I’m going to go on ahead.”
“That’s right. You wipe out all the hostiles waiting for us up around Fort Leavenworth,” Quaid grinned.
Temperance watched as he rode off, sitting loosely in the saddle. “I wish he wouldn’t do that.”
“He’ll be all right. He healed up well.”
Temperance shook her head. She said, “I’m going to go after him. Can I ride your mare, Quaid?”
“Sure you can. I’ll saddle her for you.”
Fifteen minutes later Thad looked around to see Temperance ride up beside him on Quaid’s mare. “I been worried about you,” she said.
“A man can’t be a baby forever.”
She said nothing but rode alongside him. They passed a wagon train headed West—only ten wagons—and the people in the wagons waved as they moved by.
“They seem so fresh, and they don’t know what they’re looking for. They don’t know how much trouble they’re headed into,” Temperance said.
“I guess that’s the way with all of us. If we did, I don’t guess we’d ever go anywhere.”
The two rode past the last of the wagons, looked back, and saw the oxen plodding along.
“We’ll be in Independence in less than a week, Quaid tells me.”
“Reckon that’s so.”
“It’ll be the end of something when we get there, won’t it?”
“Well, it means we got there with our hair in place.” He turned and smiled at her. His beard had grown and had a scraggly look, and his hair hung down over his collar.
She wondered what he would look like all barbered, for she had never seen him when he wasn’t rough-looking. “I know you’ve been reading the Bible,” she said.
“Rena tell on me?”
“Yes, she did.”
Indeed, Rena had come every night to Thad as he read the Bible, and after a few nights she seemed to find intense pleasure in it. “She thinks it’s wonderful.”
“Well, it’s got me buffaloed, and I can’t understand much of it.”
“What part are you reading now?”
“I started out to go right through it, and I made it pretty good through Genesis and Exodus, but that Leviticus has got me plumb bogged-down. I can’t make any sense out of it.”
“I know how you feel. Leviticus is hard for anyone. All those Jewish laws and rules.”
“It tells about animals you can’t eat. You know it says we can’t eat a catfish? I can’t understand that. I don’t see what’s wrong with a catfish.”
“To be truthful, neither do I. Why don’t you try the Gospels. I think that’s what you need.”
“Maybe I will.”
As they rode, Temperance marveled at how the big man had changed. It was not so much in what he said as in his whole attitude. Since she had known him, there had been an explosive quality to Thaddeus Brennan. He had seemed to be filled with anger, but that was gone now, and he was quiet most of the time. She asked him suddenly, “How do you feel about killing all those Indians, Thaddeus?”
“Wish it hadn’t happened.”
Temperance was startled. “But you didn’t have any choice.”
“No, I didn’t. Still, I can understand the Indian’s point of view. I killed that chief’s son. For an Indian that’s the worst insult a man can give them. I would have done exactly what he did, I guess, if I’d been born in a teepee instead of a house. You reckon God will forgive me for that?”
“If you do ask for forgiveness, don’t keep digging it up.”
He suddenly turned to look at her. “What do you mean digging it up?”
“I mean there are times when we do a wrong thing and we know it.” Her voice was even and her eyes thoughtful. “We ask God to forgive us, but the next day we ask Him again because we still feel bad.”
“You think that’s wrong?”
“How would you feel if you did something wrong to me and you asked me to forgive you and I did, and then the next day you came again and asked me again? What would that be like?”
“I guess it’d be tiresome.”
“That’s right. So God says He’s buried our sins as far from us in the sea as the East is from the West. So, if we’re serious and really ask God, once we ask Him to forgive us, it’s all over with.”
The two rode on for a time, and Thad started once to warn Temperance about Quaid. He could not think of a way to say it. Finally he said, “Quaid’s quite a fellow.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Good-looking, got money. He always was good-looking, but, of course, he didn’t have any money when we was together. I guess he’s enough to turn a woman’s head.”
Temperance turned and smiled at him. “I like him a lot. I can see why you’d want him as a friend.”
“Yeah, he’s been that all right.” It was on the tip of Thad’s tongue to warn her that Quaid was a ladies’ man, but he knew that would be useless. He finally fell silent, and Temperance wondered why. It was not an angry silence but simply something that seemed to trouble him. He’s got a long way to go, she thought, and I’ll have to help him all I can.
* * *
FOR FIVE DAYS THEY made good time, and finally when it was late afternoon, Thad pulled Judas up beside Temperance, who was in the wagon beside Rena. “There it is,” he said, “the Missouri River.”
“We’re there?” Temperance cried with excitement.
“We cross the river tomorrow on the ferry. We’ll camp out here tonight.”
That night everyone was excited, and it was hard for Temperance to get the children to bed. She herself had trouble sleeping, and the next morning she woke a little groggy for lack of sleep. When she got up, she saw that the men had already fixed the oxen and Belle had cooked breakfast.
�
��You’re getting to be quite a sleepyhead, Temperance,” Belle said.
“I’m sorry, Belle. I don’t know what happened to me.”
“Guess we can go get on that ferry now,” Quaid said. “We’ll pull into Independence pretty soon.”
“What’s the date?” Temperance asked.
“July twenty-fourth.”
“We made a pretty good trip, considering everything,” Thad said. “And all of us made it. That’s a good record for a trip.”
“It is. We couldn’t have done it without you, Thad.”
Thad gave her a quick glance and seemed pleased. “Let’s get going,” he said brusquely. “I’m anxious to get to town.”
* * *
THEY HAD TO WAIT for a place on the ferry, so by the time they rode into Independence, it was growing late. They drove down the main street of the town. Independence, in essence, had grown up around its dignified, steepled, brick courthouse. The town had all the businesses vital for a growing population. It housed, for the most part in two-story wooden buildings with steep roofs, a general store, hardware store, bank, hotel, livery stable, laundry, blacksmith shop, post office, sheriff’s office, city hall, church, dentist’s office, doctor’s office, and several saloons.
Temperance exclaimed, “There sure are a lot of people in a town that doesn’t seem that big!”
“Most of them don’t live here,” Quaid remarked. “They gather here from all over the country to start for Oregon.”
“Well, where do they stay? They all can’t stay in that hotel.”
“Oh, they live in the wagons just like we did.”
Temperance waited until they had pulled up in front of the general store, then Quaid and Belle took all the children inside to buy them soda pop. She went at once to the box she kept under the seat of the wagon, opened it, and pulled out some money. “Thaddeus, here’s the money I promised you for getting us here.”
“The job’s not done yet, not until the kids are with their people.”
Temperance hesitated, then said something that had been on her mind. “Quaid said he’d take us. If you want to leave, you can.”
A Man for Temperance (Wagon Wheel) Page 23