by Paula Kay
As she watched the beautiful Tuscan countryside out her window, she couldn’t stop the memories from washing over her. The last time she was here and had taken the exact same ride from Florence to her new home, Arianna had filled the car with laughter and her wide smile, so happy and carefree to finally be in Italy. Lia had loved sharing those moments with her daughter. She could hardly believe that she was back here now alone. She sighed and tried very hard to hold back the tears. How long was she going to cry? To grieve? Was moving to Italy going to help her or make the pain of losing Arianna worse? She didn’t know how it could possibly get any worse than what she’d felt over the course of the last year; but being here now, with the memories rushing back, she wondered if she’d made a big mistake in coming.
Before she knew it they were driving through Castellina, and everything was as she remembered it. The quaint village where she had grown up hardly seemed to have changed to her, or maybe she just wasn’t sure if she wanted to see the changes. It was just getting to be dusk, and the colors of the evening sky against the old architecture were beautiful. For a moment, she started to feel some of the old excitement deep down inside, teasing her that maybe she was just starting her journey back. She could almost hear Arianna’s voice in her ear. Isn’t it beautiful? Look at that Italian sky. I’ve waited my entire life to see a sky like this. And Lia thought that maybe she should remember and listen to her daughter. Maybe, just maybe, her entire life had been leading her to this place and moment in time.
She stepped out of the car after the driver pulled up beside the lovely old inn that Lia had chosen. She’d made the selection based on its proximity to the restaurant, thinking that she’d want to jump right in, her first week there, and it’d be best if she could walk to and from the inn until she found herself a house and got proper transportation. She didn’t know yet if she wanted to buy a place in town or venture out into the countryside a bit. There would be time for that later. She was not making any major decisions just yet.
Before she had a chance to knock on the front door, an older Italian woman appeared, to give her a kiss on each cheek and greet her as only the Italian women can do.
“Buonasera, you are Lia, si?”
“Si.” Lia smiled and took the woman’s hand, telling her in Italian that it was wonderful to be there.
“I am Elena. We’re pleased to have you. Come follow me. I will show you to your room.” A man had appeared to collect her bags from the driver of Lia’s car, and Elena gestured towards him. “This is my husband, Franco.”
Lia instantly felt at home. She followed the woman to her room, which she soon discovered was quite lovely. It was a good size, with a separate sitting room and full bathroom attached. Elena disappeared and was back a few minutes later with a tray of cheeses, meats, and bottled water. “Would you like some wine?” Elena asked.
“No, grazie. This will be fine,” said Lia, thinking that she was suddenly starving and that the tray of food looked delicious.
Elena turned to her before leaving. “You need anything, come let us know. There is a bell in the front hallway. Whenever you wake, come down to the dining room in the morning for coffee and breakfast.”
“Grazie, Elena. Everything looks wonderful,” Lia said, holding back a yawn and wondering how she could be so tired after sleeping so much on the plane. She hadn’t slept for several nights that past week, so she suspected it was all catching up to her now. She would have a bit of food and then crawl into bed, ready to face the day ahead tomorrow. She was relieved to find that she was feeling quite positive, and even excited about exploring a bit in the morning. She had dreamed of living back in Italy her whole adult life after all. Maybe she needed to pinch herself and realize how lucky she was.
Chapter 11
Lia slept soundly in her new bed, awaking to the delicious smell of strong Italian coffee. She made her way downstairs, where she found Elena organizing a tray of beautiful croissants and other delicious-looking baked goods. She looked up as Lia entered the room.
“Buongiorno, Lia. How did you sleep?” Elena asked.
“Buongiorno. Very well, grazie. The bed is very comfortable.”
“Let me make you a coffee, and help yourself to a croissant.”
“Si, they look and smell delicious,” said Lia, placing one on her plate.
“We are lucky.” Elena smiled. “One of the town’s best bakeries is just down the road.”
“Ooh, good to know,” said Lia, accepting the mug of coffee from Elena.
“So, what will you do today? Do you need some tips on things to see?”
“I’ve moved here, actually. It’s not really a vacation.”
“Really? How wonderful. You’ll have to let Franco and me know what we can do to help you get settled. We have you booked for the week. Is that right?”
“Si, I need to get organized with Thyme—the restaurant nearby—and then I will begin looking for a place to live.” She noticed the confused look on Elena’s face.
“The restaurant? Si, it is one of our favorites here in town,” said Elena.
“I am the new owner—well, I have been for awhile, but Carlo has been running it for me until now. I will go over to see him there this morning, in fact.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m sure you’ll find the town very welcoming,” said Elena with a big smile.
“I’m sure I will.” Lia thought that she’d tell Elena another time that she grew up here. She didn’t think that she had the time this morning for a big conversation, and she wanted to get herself together to go see Carlo. He was expecting her arrival; they’d been communicating via phone calls ever since Douglas had organized the final paperwork and finances for the sale. Carlo had seemed relieved, and Lia couldn’t help but wonder if Arianna’s desire to gift it to her didn’t in part have to do with helping out Carlo. The two had spoken several times during their visit to Tuscany, and Arianna was well aware of Carlo’s financial situation with the restaurant. Things hadn’t been easy for him once his wife had gotten sick, so the sale seemed to come at just the perfect time, he had told Lia later. Of course he was devastated to learn of Arianna’s passing.
Lia thanked Elena for her breakfast when she was finished, and headed upstairs to get ready to go out. She planned to have a little walk around the neighborhood before meeting Carlo at the restaurant around ten o’clock.
It was hard not to smile as she walked out the door minutes later, feeling the cool morning air touch her face. She was reminded of everything she loved in this little slice of heaven she would now get to call home. Maybe this move was exactly what she needed to get out of the funk she’d been in. God knew she needed something. It was hard to imagine that she could keep on living in the state she’d been in. Not that she’d contemplated ending her life or anything. That was something she would never do. She’d been through hardships enough to know that it would pass and that time would heal—although she, more than anyone, knew that healing didn’t necessarily mean forgetting or even letting go. That was the part that she struggled with the most. But for the moment she was feeling positive, and anxious to see the restaurant again.
She took her time walking to the restaurant, wandering down the little lanes and into the squares that she remembered from her youth. It felt strange to be here now—by herself like this. It was as if any moment she was going to hear her father shouting at her from down the road to come in for dinner. She smiled, remembering those times. It was funny how being back in a place could transport one instantly to a different time period, one where life was happy and carefree, she thought.
She arrived at Thyme and smiled when she saw Sofia outside placing fresh flowers on the tables. The young girl looked up and then rushed over to greet her, kissing her on both cheeks.
“Buongiorno, Lia. We’ve been waiting for you,” Sofia said with a huge grin on her face. “My uncle is inside. Come on, come in.”
“It’s so good to see you, Sofia.” Lia had grown quite fond of the girl duri
ng her time in Tuscany a year ago. When the sale had been finalized, she was very pleased to know that Carlo and Sofia would both be interested in staying on to help her with the restaurant. She knew that she would need them, and seeing Sofia’s cheerful disposition now was a good confirmation of that decision. She’d be very pleased, really, if she could eventually come and go as she liked at the restaurant, leaving Carlo in charge. They’d work out the details; she suspected that there would be some changes she’d like to make, which hopefully wouldn’t be too hard for Carlo to handle.
She entered the restaurant, and even though she’d been inside several times before, the simple beauty of the place took her breath away. She nearly had to stop Sofia so that she could sit down for a minute and take it all in. The sudden recognition that she owned the place hit her again from nowhere, and she didn’t quite know how to handle the mix of emotions. Was this really happening? She said a silent “thank you” in her head to Arianna as she crossed the room to greet Carlo, who was coming out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on the apron he wore.
His grin was wide as he greeted her with a kiss on each cheek. “Buongiorno, bella. Finally. You have arrive to Thyme.” He laughed easily, and Lia was reminded of how much she had liked the gentle giant of a man. His love for food was apparent, and it carried into his careful attention to the customers who entered the restaurant every day.
“Buongiorno, Carlo. It’s so wonderful to see you. And to be here. Finally.” Lia smiled. “The place looks wonderful and it smells even better.” She winked. “I can’t wait to eat some of your pasta.”
“Si, it is your pasta now,” said Carlo. “And now, I can congratulate you in person. Of course, I never wanted to sell the restaurant, but Arianna made me an offer I couldn’t refuse; and knowing it was you who would have it made everything better.”
Lia hugged him and believed his words, even though she knew it couldn’t have been easy for him to sell. “Well, I’m so pleased that you agreed to stay on here to help me. I couldn’t do it without you—without both of you.” She nodded towards Sofia, who smiled in response. “It’s been a rough year, and as much as I don’t like to admit it, I think I really need this change.”
“Si, I’m so sorry about Arianna,” said Carlo, his expression reflecting the pain he felt as he expressed his condolences to Lia. “We were all very shocked, you know. She seemed so healthy when she was here. I never would have guessed—” He stopped, noticing Lia’s pained expression, and pulled her to him for a big hug. “It’s going to be okay, bella. And we will help you with whatever you need.”
Lia hugged him back, feeling so thankful that there were people here who seemed to care about her too. She made a mental note to really try to make this transition with the restaurant smooth for everyone, especially Carlo. She wanted to respect the way that he had been running things all these years and not try to make too many changes all at once. He was a dear man, and more than anything, she’d hoped that they would remain good friends for years to come.
“Grazie, Carlo. Your words mean a lot to me. And I’m so thankful that you agreed to stay on and help me with the restaurant. I really think we’re going to make a good team.” She smiled; Carlo was already walking towards the kitchen, gesturing for Lia to follow him.
Carlo handed her an apron. ‘So, shall we get started making the pasta?”
Lia laughed, instantly feeling at home in the kitchen. “Si, let’s do it.”
Lia and Carlo worked side-by-side in the kitchen, and before she knew it an hour had passed and suddenly the orders were coming in for lunch. She was happy to see the place was busy, and made a mental note that she probably needed to hire a few more people, both for the front of the restaurant and the kitchen. They got through the lunch service, and Lia took the time to go out and greet some of the customers, as Sofia introduced her to many of their regulars. Although she did enjoy the little bits of conversation, it was the kitchen that Lia most enjoyed, and before long she was back in there asking Carlo where she could help. He seemed to be doing a great job handling things with his one sous-chef. They were a well-oiled team, from what Lia could tell.
They finished up the work together and then took three heaping plates out to a table near the front of the restaurant.
“Sofia, put the closed sign up so we can eat some lunch,” Carlo called out to his niece, and once she did, the three sat down together to dine on the delicious meal.
“Ooh, this is very good, Carlo. I can’t believe that I am going to be able to eat this every day.” Lia laughed and patted her stomach. “I’m going to have to get a good exercise routine going right away, I’m afraid.”
They all laughed and had some easy conversation with one another, Lia in her broken Italian—which did seem to be coming back quite fast, as she’d hoped—and Carlo and Sofia trying their best to sprinkle the English words that they knew into the conversation. When they were finished with lunch, Lia got up to clear the table, with Sofia quickly taking the dishes out of her hands.
“I can do it, Lia. You sit. I’m sure you two have things to talk about,” said Sofia, making her way to the kitchen with the dishes.
“Grazie, Sofia.”
Lia turned to Carlo. “I’m thinking that I will plan to come in every day this week, either for the lunch or dinner service—I’m sure I may have a bit of jet lag, so a full day might be a bit much to start with.” Lia tried unsuccessfully to stifle a big yawn, and Carlo laughed.
“Si, it is fine, Lia. Whatever you like. Sofia and I will be here and the restaurant will carry on as usual. We have plenty of time to discuss plans and you can come in whenever it is good for you. Of course, I welcome your help in the kitchen anytime.” Carlo smiled. “I enjoy cooking with you.”
“Me too,” said Lia, getting up to leave. “And thank you again for everything, Carlo. It really means a lot to me.”
“Si, you’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re here now.” Carlo got up also, giving Lia a quick hug. “You go home and have a nice rest. Come in later for dinner if you like. We shouldn’t be too busy this evening. Or I will see you tomorrow.”
Lia left the restaurant feeling tired, but good. She was suddenly very sleepy and decided to head straight back to the inn, rather than go for another little walk like she’d planned. There’d be time for that later. Right now her cozy bed was calling her.
Lia woke up from her afternoon nap expecting to feel refreshed as she opened her eyes; she made her way over to the window to draw the curtains back. The view outside was pretty spectacular. The inn had a small garden with a fountain and benches, where Lia noticed one of the couples she’d seen earlier at the inn. Beyond the grounds, she could see one of the bigger courtyards near the town center. It looked inviting enough and she thought about heading out for a walk, but the knot in her stomach took her by surprise.
She’d been feeling so good and positive ever since her arrival, and now all of a sudden she was feeling that same sense of dread—the overwhelming sadness that she’d felt every day, or so it seemed, for the past year or so. It was as if she’d just woken up in her apartment back in San Francisco, wondering what the heck to do with her life now that Arianna was gone. She sighed. She really needed to shake herself out of this depression. She was here to change her life, to make a fresh start with it all. Instead of going for her walk, she drew the curtains closed, crawled back under her covers, and cried herself to sleep again.
Chapter 12
The week passed slowly for Lia. She would get up to have some breakfast downstairs and eventually make her way to the restaurant before lunch; not because she felt like it at all, but because she felt that she owed it to Carlo to show up.
By the third day that she’d been working in the kitchen, Carlo found her with tears streaming down her face at one point. He pulled her aside, placed his hands on her shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes.
“Bella, I don’t know you very well, but I know that you are not happy here.”
Lia broke into sobs, and he hugged her to his chest.
“Lia, you’re going to have to let go of it. All of it. Before, when you were here, you were so happy cooking with me in the kitchen. Your laughter as you cooked was a delight to me. Now I see only sadness in your eyes and you seem to be getting more sad every day.”
Lia nodded her head against his chest. She knew that Carlos was right. The days had gotten progressively harder, and she barely knew what she was doing here anymore. She had to figure out if this was even the best thing for her at all. But she had no real alternative. She could go back to San Francisco, but in a lot of ways that felt like running away. How would things be any different there?
“I think you should go home. For the rest of the day, maybe the next few days, with no work, just taking care of yourself. Go out and enjoy the countryside. I think it would do you some good.” Carlo looked at her again and smiled to show that he wasn’t being stern but just concerned about her.
“You’re right, Carlo. I’m sorry that I’ve been such a drag around here. I really do need to get it together.”
“No need to be sorry. I’m only worried about you. We’ll be fine here, and I will love to see you again in a few days. Go. Get some rest and refresh yourself.”
Lia smiled at his words. She was lucky to have him here, looking out for her. She hugged both Carlo and Sofia before leaving with the promise of returning within a few days.
Lia took the long way back to the inn, wandering around some of the small streets and peeking in shop windows. She had to sort herself out. She’d go home for a nap and then maybe help Elena in the kitchen with the evening meal. It seemed like forever since she’d really enjoyed herself while cooking. She’d been cooking at Thyme, of course, but it was more that she was just going through the motions, not really getting lost in the food as she normally would. She couldn’t help but laugh lightly. God, she was really in an awful state to not be enjoying her cooking. Arianna would not have understood that. The thought came and went, almost without her realizing it. She’d figure it out. She just needed a little more time. And possibly a little more forgiveness.