by Paula Kay
“Are you going to be okay, darling?”
She hated making her husband worry about her.
“Oh yes. Never mind me. I’m going to be just fine.” She laughed lightly, trying to put his mind at ease.
“Honey, we’ll be back there before you know it—just two short weeks.”
Gigi turned to reach her arms around Douglas’s neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. “I love you, you know.” She pulled her head back to look him in the eyes. “Everything you’ve done for me—in coming here—it means everything.”
She tried unsuccessfully to hold back her tears, and seconds later Douglas was reaching his finger across her cheek to wipe away the wetness.
“You mean everything to me.” He kissed her.
Chapter 27
Over the course of the next week, Gigi and Douglas settled back into a routine at Place of Hope. They were the ones to oversee the kids getting ready for school in the mornings—Douglas had insisted to Loretta that Gigi should have more time to spend with the children. They would take care of the office-type tasks also, but that could be done while the kids were in school. Gigi also spent time with the children during their homework period and after, for the hour or so that they had free before dinner.
Gigi wasn’t exactly unhappy—she loved the children at Place of Hope and spending time with them over the past week had been good for her. But her heart ached for Jimena, Carlos, and the other kids at Casa de los Niños. There was no denying how affected she’d been by her time in the jungle. She was beside herself with excitement about returning to visit soon, and in the meantime she wanted to be giving her best to the children at Place of Hope.
“Honey.”
Gigi looked across the room to where Douglas sat at his computer. They’d just finished getting the kids settled at school and were contemplating a walk to Jess’s cafe. They’d only been in a few times to see her since they’d returned from the jungle.
“Yes?” Gigi walked over to where Douglas sat, to lightly rub his back. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
She thought she saw a look of concern on his face as he turned around to look at her.
“I got an email from Tori earlier.”
“How is she? The kids?” Gigi felt her whole face light up just thinking about Tori and the kids again.
“She says she’s in town—at the cafe—just for the day.” He took Gigi by the hand. “She says that she needs to see us right away.”
“Hmm. I wonder what’s up? Do you think we should be worried?”
Gigi felt her heart pounding; she knew something wasn’t right even before she asked the question.
Douglas pulled her down onto his lap. “Yes. Something is wrong.”
Gigi saw the worry on his face.
“When I replied asking her if everything was okay, she wrote back saying that it wasn’t—and asked that we come to Jess’s as soon as possible.”
Gigi sighed. “I guess we better get going, then. As anxious as I am to see Tori, I’m now very concerned about what kind of news she has for us.” She put her arms around Douglas’s neck for a quick squeeze before getting up off his lap. “I wonder what it could possibly be.”
God, I hope nothing has happened to one of the kids. She tried to brush the thought aside, willing herself to not think the worst as they quickly got their things together to head to the cafe.
Gigi stopped for a moment just outside the door to the cafe. She squeezed Douglas’s hand that she’d been holding. There had been mostly silence between them during the walk over. Gigi guessed that they’d both been imagining the worst, but not wanting to say the words out loud. Now, as she stood looking through the window of the cafe, she could see Tori and Jess seated at a table in the corner. She took a deep breath and motioned for Douglas to open the door.
Tori was on her feet coming towards them just as soon as Douglas entered the cafe. Gigi saw her friend’s face, eyes swollen and red, seconds before Tori had Gigi in an embrace—seconds before the sobs came, loud and furious.
Douglas came up beside them, lightly putting his hand on Tori’s back as the tears came. Gigi looked over at Jess, busy getting some coffees, but Gigi didn’t miss the tears being wiped from her eyes as she did so.
God, this is bad. Really bad.
Gigi held on to Tori, letting her cry as she looked towards Douglas, her heart pounding. They needed to find out what had happened.
“Tori, can you tell us what happened?” Douglas was asking in a quiet voice.
Gigi could feel Tori trying to control her sobs, and she guessed that she was trying to get the words out.
Finally, Tori stood back from Gigi, taking a deep breath.
“It’s Silvia.”
Gigi felt instant tears and her own sob catching in her throat.
“She fell off the roof yesterday morning.”
Tori looked like she was trying very hard to hold it together—to deliver the news that Gigi knew was coming next.
More sobs from Tori and another deep breath as she looked at Douglas, then Gigi. “She died instantly.”
Gigi felt Tori’s arms around her as her whole body went weak, her own sobs of shock and grief drowning out any other noise in the room. Douglas’s hand on her shoulder barely registered as she felt him guiding her down into the chair nearby. She looked at him sitting next to her, his face wet with tears.
The four of them sat around the small table, crying and sipping the coffee that Jess had delivered to them. No one spoke for several minutes; Gigi felt completely overwhelmed by the news. But she knew that there was much more to be discussed. She looked at Tori, sitting across from her, a hundred questions running through her mind—questions she didn’t know if she wanted the answers to.
Finally Tori spoke again, directing her words towards Douglas.
“Earlier yesterday morning, she’d laughed with me at breakfast. She told me—‘Don’t tell Douglas I’m on the roof.’” Tori’s voice caught as she struggled to continue. “She’d joked about it—that she couldn’t wait for someone else to do the job because there was another storm blowing in fast.”
Gigi could see the question on Douglas’s face before he spoke it.
“But I thought she’d already taken care of that?”
Gigi thought he looked angry, and she had a bad feeling in the back of her mind that somehow Douglas could end up blaming himself for this. She pushed the thought aside as Tori replied to Douglas’s question.
Tori sighed. “It was a new area of the roof.”
“I should have fixed it myself when I was there.” Douglas was angry.
“Douglas, no. It wasn’t for you to fix. And honestly, if it’s not one thing, it’s another around there that needs to be repaired. I know Silvia—I-I-knew her well, and—” Tori started crying again, unable to continue.
Douglas reached his hand across the table to grab Tori’s. “I know. I know what you mean. She was stubborn about it. She wouldn’t have waited to get something fixed that she thought she could do herself.”
Gigi could hardly stand the thoughts that were going through her mind. “Who found her?”
Tori reached out to grasp Gigi’s hand. “The children never saw her. It was Fernanda.” Tori was still crying. “She’d just left the kitchen after breakfast clean-up when she heard the fall.” She stopped to take a deep breath. “After she ran to her, she went to get help, but—but it was too late.”
Gigi felt like she was in a state of shock. It was all so much to take in. Douglas seemed to be holding it together, but she knew that he was taking it hard as well. It was hard to believe that they’d seen Silvia not even a week earlier. With that thought came the image of Silvia with the kids—her babies, she’d often called them. Gigi couldn’t help the loud sobs from coming again as she thought about the children and how much their lives would be changing now.
More time passed, much of it in silence as they each sat with their own thoughts—and grief. Finally, Tori asked Jess for the time,
and got up from the table.
“I know this is all so sudden—and so much to take in. I’m sorry to give you all of this news in such a rush, but I need to get back to the kids today. And I was hoping—” She looked at Gigi and Douglas. “I was really hoping that you could come back—to help me with the kids—and with everything.”
Gigi looked over at Douglas, counting on him to speak for both of them—which he did without hesitation as he got up from the table to give Tori a hug.
“Of course we will. We’ll help you with whatever you need.”
“Yes, we’ll get through this together.” Gigi agreed, also giving her friend a big hug.
“I’ve postponed my trip. I can’t go right now. But I will have to very soon. I just—I don’t know what’s going to happen with the kids—with Casa de los Niños.”
“We’ll help you sort all of that out. Don’t worry.” Douglas was quick to try to reassure Tori.
What’s going to happen to the kids without Silvia? Gigi’s heart was pounding and she tried to stifle her fears. Douglas would help organize everything. She looked over at him now. He was very good in a crisis.
Gigi flashed back to the time with Arianna—at the end. Douglas had made sure that everything was in place, and he was the one who took care of all the details after her passing. But Gigi wasn’t at all sure that this was a problem that could easily be fixed. Who could possibly do what Silvia had been doing for those kids?
“Honey.”
Douglas’s voice was pulling her away from her memories.
He grabbed for her hand. “Let’s run back to pack up our things and talk to Loretta.”
Gigi nodded. Douglas would see them through all of this. She turned back to give Tori another quick hug. “We’ll hurry back. Everything’s going to be okay.”
No, it isn’t going to be okay. Silvia is gone. Gigi felt the lump in her throat as she turned to follow Douglas out of the cafe.
Chapter 28
The long ride from Antigua to the river had been a quiet one. The grief covered them all in the van like an unwanted blanket on a hot night. Gigi desperately wished that she could shrug it all away—that it had been a bad dream. But somehow the tragedy had happened, and now they needed to keep their focus on the children and what was going to be best for them. She let the tears come as her thoughts turned again to the faces of the kids and what they must be going through—Jimena, who had already lost her own mother. Gigi couldn’t wait to take the small child into her arms.
“Tori?”
“Yes?” Tori turned around in her seat to face Gigi.
“How were the kids when you left? Do you think they’re going to be okay?”
Tori seemed to be considering the question carefully before she replied. “Yes, they’ll be okay. Some of them—the older kids—were taking it pretty hard, but they seemed to understand Silvia. She had never been shy about her faith with the children, so many of them believe that she’s in heaven now. I think that’s comforting for them, don’t you?”
Gigi nodded, thinking back to the conversation with Jimena and Carlos when she first learned that Jimena’s mother had passed away. “Yes, I’m sure that helps to explain things to the kids—to help them to process it all and to be able to get through their grief.”
Douglas cleared his throat, and Gigi could tell that he had something on his mind. “What is it, darling?”
“I was wondering. I mean, I know it’s only been a day but where is her body now? I hate to bring up such an unpleasant topic but will there be a funeral and how does that all work here? Do we need to contact people? Her family?”
Gigi thought that Douglas looked uncomfortable asking the questions, but it was like him to get right to the heart of the things that needed to be done, unpleasant or not. It was those types of things that he’d be sure to help Tori with.
“It’s okay. I know we need to discuss these things and I’d rather do it now—before we get to the jungle—because I’d like for us to be able to focus on the kids once we arrive.”
Douglas nodded for Tori to continue as he reached for Gigi’s hand beside him.
“To answer your question, we’ve already buried her. Last night, shortly after it happened. It was deep in the jungle and it’s what Silvia wanted.”
Gigi tried not to let the shock show on her face as Tori continued.
“We found something—that Silvia had typed up. Well, a few of us knew it was there because she’d told us at different times—always in a joking sort of way.”
“A will, you mean?” Douglas asked.
“Yes, I suppose. Although it was really Silvia just outlining her wishes—what to do if something happened to her.” There were fresh tears falling down Tori’s cheeks.
“That’s good,” Gigi said.
“Yes. She wanted to be buried deep in the jungle, and she’d also written that there was no family—no one to contact.” Tori didn’t hold back the sob that seemed to stick in her throat as she tried to continue. “She’d said that we were her family. The kids and those of us that knew her—truly knew her heart.” She looked up at Gigi and Douglas now. “I know that you didn’t know her long but she felt that way about you. She told me that the day you left—that you two were part of our family.”
Tori’s grinning caused Gigi to do the same, and she felt Douglas squeeze her hand.
“That makes me feel good. And we felt—and do feel the same way about you all,” Gigi said.
“And of course we will do something with the children. There will be a ceremony tomorrow night.” Tori smiled again as if remembering something. “Silvia wrote that she wanted the ceremony to be around the campfire with the kids—but that it should be a happy time, with music, dancing, and nice memories. I think the kids will like that, don’t you?”
Gigi nodded her head. “Yes, I think they’ll like that very much. And we can make it special for them—just how Silvia would have wanted it.”
Gigi saw that Tori’s smile faded quickly. She couldn’t help but notice how stressed she looked. “Tori, it’s going to be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”
“I know. But I just don’t see how. I’m not really equipped to run things around there, and I don’t really know of anyone else there who could do any better of a job. I mean, I know everyone will pitch in, but I think it’s important to be realistic as we do go forward. And I do have to leave in the next week or so, even though the timing stinks. And I—I would just hate to see the orphanage shut—”
“Tori, that’s not going to happen,” Douglas was quick to interrupt. “Don’t you worry about that. We’ll figure everything out later, but I know that I can hire the help that you need. So let’s not focus on that just now. We’re going to help you get through this.” He looked over at Gigi and squeezed her hand tight. “We’re all going to get through this together.”
Chapter 29
Gigi sat on the dock by the river with Jimena in her arms. They watched Douglas play in the water with Carlos and the older kids. She couldn’t help but laugh as she saw the look on Carlos’s face right before Douglas flung him far out into the water.
“Do you want to go in the water, honey?”
“Are you going to go in, Ms. Gi?”
“No, but I can sit here and watch you play.” Gigi kissed the little girl on the top of the head.
“I want to sit here with you.”
“Okay, then. That’s just fine.”
“Ms. Gi?”
“Yes?”
“Ms. Silvia is in heaven now with Mommy.”
Gigi felt her words catch in her throat. “Yes, that’s right. I bet she and your mommy are going to be great friends.”
Jimena nodded. “Yes. I think so too. But I’m going to miss Ms. Silvia a whole lot.”
Gigi felt her heart break that much more as she hugged the little girl close to her chest. Jimena was crying now as Gigi held her, her own tears falling again.
“I know you will, honey. I’m really going to miss her t
oo.”
The two sat in silence. Jimena seemed on the verge of falling asleep and Gigi was lost in her thoughts as she watched Douglas and the kids in the river.
When they’d pulled up in the boat earlier, the children were on the dock to greet them, happy and welcoming, but Gigi could feel the heaviness that was their reality so soon after the accident. She longed to just scoop them all up and make everything okay with only hugs and kisses but she knew that it wasn’t going to be so simple. There was grief to be felt and worked through. Gigi, as much as anyone, knew what it was like to lose someone. It would take time.
She wiped at another tear, noticing that Jimena had fallen asleep in her lap. She wondered how much time she and Douglas could take here. Could they really stay as long as Tori needed them to? They’d not had a moment alone to talk about any of their own travel plans, but Gigi guessed that they were on the same page in terms of making themselves available to help until Douglas could sort everything out. And she didn’t doubt that he’d be able to.
She sighed, willing herself to just focus on taking it one step at a time right now. They’d only just arrived. She smiled as she thought about how they’d gotten so busy playing with the kids that they’d not even made it farther than the dock yet. She shifted a bit, causing Jimena to wake up in her lap.
“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. But we’re probably going to need to go get ready for dinner soon.”
The sun was rapidly setting; she noticed that Douglas was out of the water talking to Tori, who’d just walked up with Rafael by her side. The two of them made their way over to the dock, where Gigi was now getting up herself.
“We should probably go get settled,” Gigi said to Douglas, who had an odd look on his face.
“Yeah. Honey, Tori had Rafael put our things in Silvia’s hut—”
“—No, I don’t want to stay there,” Gigi interrupted.
She understood Tori’s wanting to put them there. It was the nicest of all the living quarters on the property—not because Silvia had needed higher standards, but just because of the things that people had done for her over the course of the years that she’d lived there. She had seemed embarrassed when she’d given Gigi and Douglas the tour of her little hut, but Gigi had told her that she deserved it—that she should feel comfortable living in a place that she’d dedicated her entire life to.