by Paula Kay
Jemma, please. I’m so sorry but we can work this out. Please call me as soon as you get this. Honey, we’re worried about you. I need to know that you’re okay. Please, Jemma.
Jemma sighed. She would phone her back. She just needed to be alone with her thoughts for a few more minutes. Suddenly she didn’t know what she felt about anything. She just knew she felt bad and confused over everything that had happened.
She noticed Dex staring at her as she put her phone down on the table between them.
“So? Are you gonna call her?’
“Yeah. I will. I just need a minute to figure out what I’m gonna say.” She eyed him, trying to decide if it was worth having a conversation about anything serious with him at that time. “I mean, what are we gonna do?”
“About?”
“About staying here, Dex. They don’t exactly have tons of room and Andrea does want rent money, you know.”
“Okay, so we’ll get some money together. I’m sure that you can get your mom and Chase to put some into your account, can’t you? And don’t you have any of your allowance left?”
Jemma was shaking her head. “No, I don’t.” She looked carefully at Dex before she continued. “I’m not sure why you think they’re going to give me any money right now. That seems doubtful.”
Dex looked exasperated. “Oh, please. They’re not gonna let their baby girl starve.”
Jemma didn’t like the tone of his voice when he talked about her parents—which seemed kinda crazy to her, given her own feelings toward them, but she knew he was wrong about them giving her money. It wouldn’t be that easy. If it were just her mother maybe, but Chase would draw a harder line. She was sure of that.
“I dunno, Dex. How much money do you have?”
“Not much, really. Maybe I can get a hundred dollars out.” Dex laughed. “Okay, so we’ll have to figure out how we’re gonna earn our keep around here.” He brought his hand up Jemma’s leg again. “I’m sure there are ways.”
Jemma pushed his hand away harder than she’d intended. “What are you saying? And by the way, do you know what exactly Andrea does to make money? Because I just found out this morning.” Her heart was beating faster in her chest as she waited for his reply.
“I know exactly what Andrea does and yes, that’s what I’m saying. I’m sure you could make double or triple the money she makes.” He was running his fingers through Jemma’s hair. “You’re so much prettier, babe.”
Jemma turned quickly in her chair, knocking Dex’s hand away from her hair. “Are you serious right now? Tell me you’re joking.” She was fighting the tears that threatened to fall any second.
Dex gave her a funny look. “Why not? Don’t be such a prude. I know you won’t give it up for me, but it would be an easy way to make the money that we need to stay here. In LA, I mean—just until you get your trust money.”
Jemma was on her feet. “Dex, I’m not going to start having sex with strange guys—or any guys for that matter—for money. I can’t believe you’re even considering asking me to do that.” She was crying now.
Dex pulled her down into his lap, holding her tight as she fought to get back up.
“Hey, chill out babe. It was just an idea.” He kissed her on the cheek.
She wiped the tears from her face with her hand as she turned to look at him. “I wouldn’t do that, you know. Ever.”
“I know. You don’t have to. We’ll figure something out.”
Jemma thought he was acting like he never meant it in the first place, but she knew that he was trying to feel her out about the idea—that he’d definitely let her go with other men if she were willing. She felt sick to her stomach and suddenly like she was in a bit over her head—with running away, with Dex, with Andrea here in this strange apartment. She sighed as she finally stopped resisting sitting on Dex’s lap and laid back against him. She’d figure it all out later—maybe when she phoned her mom back.
Dex pushed her off his lap as he attempted to stand up. “Babe, I need a drink. Do you want one?” He headed in toward the apartment.
“Yes please.” She wanted to be drunk—to forget everything for a while. Or at least to get a few drinks in her in order to relax a bit before she called her mom.
Dex called to her from inside the screen door. “I’ll bring it out to you. Vodka and orange juice?”
“Yeah, if they have it. I’m not so sure though, so if not, I’ll have it straight.”
Dex was giving her a look. “Starting pretty early today, aren’t we?” He laughed.
“So now you’re judging me on my drink selection.” Jemma laughed too, happy that things seemed to be a little lighter between her and Dex. She needed him now. She needed someone who was on her side. Dex did seem to be—when it suited him. She couldn’t help the thought that came quickly.
She leaned back against the chair and picked up her phone again while she waited for Dex to return with her drink. Was she in over her head? She really hadn’t thought any of this through. Even though it had been rough going between her and her mom lately, she’d never actually thought about running away. She wasn’t stupid. She knew she had a good thing going there—that her mom and Chase wanted her to have everything. Not just material things, but things that would give her a good life. She sighed as Dex handed her the small half glass of what looked like straight vodka.
“Thanks. No OJ, I take it?”
“Nope.” He was turning to go back inside. “I’m gonna go lie down on that space that just opened up on the couch. Coming?”
“No, I think I’ll sit here awhile longer.” Dex was eyeing the phone in her hand. “I’m gonna call my mom in a few minutes. I need to just get it over with.”
“Okay. Well, try to get some money out of them.” Dex winked as he turned to go inside.
Alone again, Jemma finally punched in the code on her phone that would let her listen to all of the messages that had been left for her.
Chapter 11
Blu’s messages to Jemma seemed to grow in intensity—and fear, Jemma thought as she listened to them. By the tenth message, her mom sounded frightened and Jemma knew that she needed to at least text her. She pulled up the last text from her mother and bit her lip as she tried to decide how much to tell her.
I’m okay. With Dex.
Just keep it simple—reach out to let her know that she wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. She clicked the button to send it off and within seconds received a text back.
Where are you? Call me please.
Jemma sighed as she texted back.
We’re in LA. Stayin at a friend’s.
LA? I’m calling. Answer the phone please.
Jemma debated about not answering her phone when it rang a second later. She’d have to talk to her mom sooner or later. She just wanted to have an idea of what she was gonna say—what she was feeling about everything.
“Hi, Mom—or should I be calling you Blu now?” She couldn’t help the anger that was right there again just like that.
“Jemma. Listen to me. You need to come home so that we can talk about this—work everything out.”
“Yeah, well, I just don’t see what we’re going to be able to work out at all. Do you? Honestly?”
Jemma was trying to hold back her tears, angry at herself for feeling so upset yet again. She didn’t want her mom to think that she was anything other than okay.
Her mother was quiet for a few seconds on the other end of the phone. “Jemma.” Jemma heard her take a deep breath and could picture Blu standing near the kitchen in the breakfast room, looking out toward the view of the ocean. “Jemma, I—we never meant to hurt you. You gotta believe that. I only ever wanted what was best for you—because I-I love you, Jemma. I always have. You know that, right?”
Jemma was crying now because she did know that. Deep down, she could never doubt how much she’d been loved, but it didn’t excuse the lies. Did it? Not when she was old enough to understand anyway. It was just all so twisted—so wrong.
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“Jemma? Are you there?”
“Yes. I’m here,” Jemma managed, willing her tears to stop. “I just don’t know.”
“Jemma, come home. Just come home. We can’t fix any of this if you’re not here. And God, Jemma—I—we’re all worried about you. LA isn’t the glamorous place that you guys have probably made it out to be. It can be dangerous.”
“God, Mom. I know that.” Just like that, Jemma was back to feeling angry. Her mother treated her like such a child, and that drove her crazy.
“I know. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just want you to come home, okay?”
Jemma wasn’t ready to go home yet. But she wasn’t quite ready to let her mom know that.
“Mom? I-I could use some money. There wasn’t any in my account when I left and now we—I don’t even have enough for food and stuff.”
There was silence on the other end of the line as she waited for her mom to answer. Blu wasn’t stupid, but Jemma knew that the idea of her with no money would get to her mom. She was counting on it.
“Mom, please. Just like a couple hundred dollars or something?”
“Well, are you coming home then? If I put two hundred in your account, you’ll use it to get home? As in today, Jemma—hold on. Chase wants to talk to you.”
God. Chase wasn’t going to let it happen. Jemma knew that he was much harder to convince of anything.
“Jemma, what are you doing? You’ve gotten your mom and grandma frantic here. You do know that, don’t you?”
Chase sounded irritated, and Jemma pictured her mother there tugging at his arm, giving him a stern look that told him to cool it.
“How do you think I feel right now?” Jemma could hold her own during her arguments with Chase. Well, she liked to think so anyway, even though it seemed like she rarely got her way with him, but she could be just as stubborn. That was for sure.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Chase’s voice got softer—less stern.
“I know you’ve been through a lot. No one is denying that. But Jemma, you can’t just run away from your problems—from us.”
There was silence for a few seconds and Jemma imagined that her mom was talking to Chase.
“Look, we’ll transfer one hundred fifty to your account when we hang up. And will you be home today?”
Jemma wasn’t going home. Not yet.
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Okay, I’m counting on you to hold up your end of the deal. We’re counting on you being at home in your bed tonight so that we can all get up tomorrow and work this out. Jemma?”
“Yeah, I heard you.”
She hated begging. Only until next month, she thought. Then she’d be eighteen. She’d have the trust money. She wouldn’t need to answer to any of them. Surely they realized that. It was almost laughable. Their window of time to control her—through money or anything, really—was closing and Jemma just needed to wait it out a little longer.
She turned her attention back to Chase on the other end of the line.
“Okay, I gotta go. Thanks for the money.”
“Jemma, wait—Kylie wants to talk to you.”
“No—I—”
But it was too late. Jemma could hear her little sister crying already.
“Jemma?”
Jemma took a deep breath. She wouldn’t lie to her sister. She couldn’t just lie and make everything better—make everything go away.
“Hi, Ky. Don’t cry.”
“When are you coming back?” The little girl seemed to manage her words through her sobs so that Jemma could still make them out.
“I don’t know. But don’t tell that to Mom and Chase, okay?” Jemma needed to be careful. It wasn’t fair to put her sister in the middle.
“Jemma. I don’t want you to be gone. I miss you.”
Kylie was crying again and Jemma thought her heart would break.
“I know. I miss you too. Ky, everything’s gonna be okay. I’m sure that I’ll see you soon.”
“Promise?”
When would she see the little girl? For the first time since Jemma had started the phone call with her mother, she was feeling a twinge of regret. She couldn’t live without Kylie in her life. Could she? It seemed unbearable. But what was the alternative? She couldn’t see one—at least not until she was living on her own—legitimately, in a way that her mom and Chase couldn’t argue with. Maybe she’d buy a place in San Diego on the beach and they’d let Kylie come stay with her on the weekends. She turned her attention back to her sister on the other end of the line.
“I promise. Soon, Ky, okay? I love you. Will you put Mom back on the phone, please?”
“Okay, I love you too, Jemma.”
Jemma wiped at her eyes as Blu came back on to say hello.
“I just wanted to say thanks for the money.”
“It’s okay. Just come home so we can fix this. I love—”
Jemma clicked off the phone, purposely cutting her mom off.
She needed a few more minutes alone to try to gather her thoughts. She wondered if she should tell Dex about the money her mom was going to transfer. For the first time since she’d known him, she had second thoughts when it came to them sharing information about their finances. Her instinct told her that she’d be wise to start keeping some of her business to herself—especially as her birthday drew nearer. Maybe she’d just tell him that she had enough in her account to get them some food, which was essentially true as the one fifty was not going to last them long in LA. This was even more true if she or Dex decided that they needed to use the money for partying, which was a definite possibility if last night was any indication of how the rest of the week would be playing out.
Jemma sighed. She was thinking too much. She was young and allowed to party a bit. She was acting like her mother, being all practical, something which she would try to avoid at all costs—especially right now when she pretty much couldn’t stand her mother. She was actually a bit shocked at how easily the anger came to the surface when she’d talked to her.
Chase’s words rang in her head. She had been through a lot. But somehow—with or without her mom—she was going to have to sort some things out for herself. She did realize this and hadn’t completely lost her mind in all of her rage. At least this was true when she was sober anyway.
Chapter 12
Jemma held onto Dex as they rode his motorcycle to find an ATM machine. She’d checked her account online from her phone, and Blu had transferred the money within minutes of their conversation. She felt a twinge of something because she knew that she could always count on her mom when it came to keeping her word and coming through for her. It was ironic to think that for all of her life, she’d never trusted anyone as much as she’d trusted her mother. Yet, Blu had been keeping the biggest secret of all from her.
She held tighter to Dex as they rounded a corner going much faster than what Jemma was typically comfortable with.
“Hey, slow down there, mister. The last thing we need right now is for you to be getting a speeding ticket.”
Also, her mom hadn’t said anything about calling the police, but Jemma knew that it was something that they very well could do and might be tempted to do once they knew that she really wasn’t coming home that day. Well, she didn’t know if her mom would have it in her, but Chase would definitely report her missing, if it meant Jemma would be forced to come home.
She’d have to cross that bridge when she came to it, but for now she and Dex needed to not have any run-ins with the police. She’d been lucky in that regard since hanging out with him and his friends. Every time that they’d gotten into some kind of trouble, she’d not been around him, so to date her record was clean, which was more than one could say about Dex’s. But he hadn’t gotten into any real trouble. Yet. She didn’t know why, but having the thought seemed foreboding to her and she shook her head as if the motion was enough to will it from happening. She couldn’t control Dex and she’d never try.
He
laughed now as he squeezed her hand that had come around to his chest. “Hang on, baby.”
“Dex!”
She wasn’t in the mood to argue with him about his driving. She wasn’t in the mood to argue with him about anything. She knew after her phone call with her mom and Chase that she needed Dex right now. She needed someone on her side and Dex was her someone.
He pulled up to the curb in front of an ATM machine and Jemma hopped off the back of the bike.
“How much are you getting, babe?”
Jemma bit her lip. “I was thinking just like fifty dollars—enough for dinner and maybe to buy a couple things for the apartment?”
“Well, how much do you have?”
Jemma looked at him, trying to decide how she felt about his asking.
“Not much. What else do we need and what about your account?”
“I’m broke right now. Gonna have to figure something out soon.”
Jemma nodded her head, not saying out loud what she was thinking about Dex needing to get a real job at some point.
“I was just thinking that we should really contribute to the party Andrea and them are having tonight. I’m sure someone can go by the liquor store later if we give them some cash.”
Jemma was in a weird space—not yet fully recovered from last night’s hangover and still reeling with the emotions of everything that had happened. She knew that later that night her phone would be blowing up with texts and calls from her mom and Chase when she didn’t turn up at home. She was suddenly sure that the only thing that would keep her sane was a good night of drinking. She sighed and turned back towards Dex. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll take out the whole one fifty. But can we go get some fast food or something after? I’m starving.”
“Great, babe, and yes, I’m starving too.”
Jemma took her helmet from Dex and climbed back on the motorcycle behind him.
“Dex?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t really wanna go back to Andrea’s yet. Can we get some food and go to the beach?”