by Paula Kay
When he had finally shown up after a lot of begging from Jemma, he’d been so cold to her. They’d had a quiet moment alone in the lobby—her mom and Chase nearby—and Dex had basically wished her well and told her that maybe they’d see each other if and when she returned to LA. One of Andrea’s roommates was moving out and Dex had decided that he was going to continue living there.
Dex hadn’t said it, but in her heart Jemma knew that something had happened or was happening between him and Andrea. She knew that she should be angry about his lame half-breakup with her, but right now all she could feel was sadness. For all Gigi’s talk about Jemma coming to the orphanage to do some soul-searching and figure out her future, Jemma had no idea what her future looked like, especially now that it was obviously going to be a future without Dex.
Her mom and Chase had been angry at the way Dex had just left Jemma crying in the hotel lobby. She couldn’t help but smile, though, as she remembered the chat she’d had with Chase. He was always so quick to tell her that she deserved a wonderful man in her life, that she should never settle for anything less than someone who cherished and respected her—and he’d been quick to point out that Dex was not that young man.
Chase’s words and her mom’s hugs had made her feel better at the time, but now she just felt depressed again and there was still the weirdness between her and her mom and grandma. She just wanted it to all go away—for everything to be normal again.
She wiped the tears from her face, sneaking a quick look at Gigi sitting beside her. Gigi had been watching her and reached out to grab Jemma’s hand in hers, which Jemma didn’t resist. She always felt only love from Gigi—even when she was reprimanding Jemma, which she had been known to do.
“It’s going to be okay, honey. You’ll see.”
Jemma nodded. “I know. And I know I haven’t been the nicest person to be around the last few days, but I do appreciate what you and Douglas are doing for me—giving me another option besides the rehab, I mean.”
Gigi was looking at her intently. “I don’t really think you need rehab. And for the record, if I thought that’s what you needed, I wouldn’t have agreed to this.”
“I know.”
“Because the only thing that matters to me is that you’re okay. Second after that is that I’m hoping spending a little time away from your friends, your mom—from your normal life, I suppose—will help you to get some clarity about your future.”
Jemma looked over at her as she continued.
“We all need that sometimes, you know. Perspective. I know I can sure remember a time in my life—after Arianna had passed away for sure, but then also before Douglas and I went to Guatemala—that I really didn’t know what was going to happen to make me feel better. It was a rough patch for sure.”
Jemma vaguely did remember that time and hearing her mom and Gigi talk about the fact that Gigi had been feeling bad. Jemma knew that the orphanage had changed Gigi, and she also had fond memories of being there herself. Even though it really wasn’t her ideal situation, it was certainly better than some rehab program, and maybe Gigi did have a point about getting away from everything.
Jemma sighed. Time would tell. She’d try her best to put aside her misgivings and give it a chance.
She smiled at Gigi and then put her head on her shoulder, suddenly tired and wanting a little sleep.
Gigi squeezed her hand before letting it go. “I love you, Jemma. You just remember that.”
“I love you too, Gi.”
Jemma was tired and the motion of the small boat was making her even more sleepy. The trip to the orphanage was a longer one than she remembered. Once they’d landed in Guatemala City, there was the minivan ride to the river, which took several hours, but now they were in the last stretch of thirty minutes or so by small boat.
Jemma felt her face go a bit warm when she caught their boat driver looking at her. Gigi had told Jemma that Eduardo was one of about three drivers that they used to ferry them to and from the orphanage whenever they needed something from the small village nearby. She’d also whispered into Jemma’s ear that he wasn’t her preferred driver—that there were rumors about him having quite a reputation with the locals. Jemma didn’t know exactly what that meant, but she was too tired to ask for clarification. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by her that Eduardo had held her hand just a second or two longer than necessary when he’d helped the two women into the boat, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Eduardo might add a little bit of excitement to her time there.
She smiled at him and when she saw that Gigi had her eyes closed, she moved up one seat so that she was nearer to where he was steering the boat.
“So is there anything fun to do around here?”
He eyed her carefully as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket.
“There’s plenty fun to do here.” He held the cigarettes out towards her.
After looking behind her at Gigi to see if she was still having a rest, Jemma took a cigarette out, inhaling as Eduardo lit it for her. She’d needed a smoke after the long plane ride and she knew that Gigi hated smoking, so she hadn’t yet had the opportunity to sneak away for one.
She closed her eyes, feeling the effects of the smoke in her lungs. She really should think about quitting while she was here—she knew it was a horrible habit.
“If you know the right people to hang out with.”
She opened her eyes, realizing that she’d totally spaced for a moment while Eduardo was talking.
“Sorry. I guess I’m more tired than I realized. What were you saying?”
The way he was looking at her was slightly unnerving, but mostly it just made her feel shy.
“I was just saying that I’m your guy, if you want any fun around here.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I know where to take you.” He took a slow drag from his cigarette and Jemma thought he looked extremely sexy.
“Is that right?” She took a puff of her own cigarette and spoke her words a bit softer as she noticed Gigi stirring a bit. “Why is your English so good?”
“Do you think so? Thank you.” He gave her a wide smile, obviously pleased with her compliment.
“Yes. It is. Did you learn at college?”
Eduardo laughed and gave her a funny look. “Do I look like someone who would go to college?”
Jemma felt her face go warm again. He was teasing her and she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it, but she did like the flirtation that seemed to be going on between them. It was definitely adding some possible excitement to what she’d been thinking would be a pretty dull three weeks in Guatemala.
“Well, I don’t know if you’ve gone to college.”
“Nah. School wasn’t really my thing.”
“Okay.” She looked at him just as intently as he was looking at her. She could play this game too. “So what is your thing then?”
He smiled—maybe just a little too widely—and Jemma knew in that instant that Eduardo was trouble. But did she care?
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
She stared at him and shrugged. It was time to pretend that she didn’t care what he had to say. She made a motion to move back towards where Gigi was sitting in the boat.
“I have a cousin who lives in New York—in the city. I lived with him for a year. So I suppose that’s where I really learned English.”
Jemma wondered what else he’d learned on the streets of the big city. She sat back down where she’d been sitting near him, but also did notice that Gigi seemed to be stirring a bit more. She took a last long drag of her cigarette.
“Jemma.” Gigi’s voice was sharp and it startled Jemma as she dropped the cigarette into the water, knowing that Gigi had already seen it; but it was a conversation they’d probably be having soon enough anyway.
She mouthed the word “later” to Eduardo and turned to make her way back to where Gigi was sitting.
“Sorry. I know you’re not a kid, but it really bothers
me to see you smoking.” She laughed lightly. “And getting friendly with him.”
Jemma felt like a child who’d been reprimanded but, oddly, with Gigi it never really seemed to bother her all that much. For some reason that she could never really explain, Jemma just really hated feeling disappointment from Gigi and Douglas. It had been that way for as long as she could remember.
“I know. I think I should maybe try to quit while I’m here.” She eyed Gigi carefully.
“How about that you don’t try as much as do quit. It’s a bad habit and one that won’t be doing you any favors later in life.” She reached out to put her arm around her. “I just want you to be healthy and happy. That’s all. You know that, right?”
Jemma nodded, giving Gigi a hug. “I do know that. And I will try. I promise.” She smiled, hoping it was enough to please her.
“And Jemma.”
Jemma met her eyes.
“I’m serious about Eduardo.” Gigi’s voice was low so that he couldn’t hear them talking from the other end of the boat. “He’s bad news and I don’t want you to get involved with him, okay?”
Jemma nodded but she wasn’t quite ready to promise anything when it came to Eduardo. She could be sneaky, and if she had to sneak around a bit at the orphanage to have a little fun, so be it.
Chapter 18
Jemma noticed Rafael before he seemed to notice her as they pulled up to the dock at Casa de los Niños. She had to laugh at all of the kids jumping up and down screaming their hellos at “Mama Gi.” She’d glanced at Gigi as they rounded the bend in the river and there was no mistaking the way that her whole face lit up when she saw the children. Jemma knew that the orphanage had become a treasured home to her and Douglas now—filled with the many children that they’d never had.
She glanced again at Rafael, making his way toward the dock with Douglas. He was so much taller than Jemma remembered—but he’d only been fifteen the last time they’d seen one another—both of them still children who’d become fast friends the summer that Jemma had been there. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t thought much about him earlier, but now the memories of their easy friendship came flooding back to her.
“I’ve missed you so much.” Douglas was helping Gigi out of the boat and winking at Jemma as he did so.
She watched the two embrace and share a deep kiss on the dock as the children swarmed around Gigi, all wanting their share of the hugs and kisses that they seemed confident would be doled out by the woman they called their mother.
While Gigi seemed distracted, Jemma took the opportunity to pass her number to Eduardo. She’d written it down quickly on a small piece of paper with a simple note that said that he should text her when he was coming back over in the boat. Eduardo held onto her hand for an extra second as he took the paper from her, and when he released her hand and she looked up, her eyes locked with those of Rafael, who was lifting the luggage out of the boat.
Jemma swore that she saw something flash across Rafael’s face before he quickly looked away as if embarrassed by what he’d seen. She felt her stomach plunge—partly because she didn’t want any awkwardness between herself and the boy who’d once been her best friend for an entire summer, but also because Rafael no longer looked like the boy she remembered. Rafael was tall, dark, and handsome.
“Jemma. It’s so good to see you.” Douglas had arrived by her side and she turned to give him a big hug.
“It’s good to see you too. Thank you for having me.”
“Well, you gave us quite a scare, you know.” He squeezed her tighter and then pulled away to look her in the eye. “I’m expecting that you and I can have a nice chat about all of that at some point soon.”
Jemma looked away, unsure of how to answer him. Rafael was still nearby—near enough that she knew he could hear their conversation—and she wondered what he knew about her being there. She turned her attention back to Douglas, who seemed to be waiting for a response.
“Yes. I know. I’m sorry about all of that. But I’m okay now.” She met his eyes again, putting on a big smile. “Really.”
Rafael had collected the two suitcases from the boat and was now standing politely beside Douglas. Douglas turned to put his hand on Rafael’s shoulder and Jemma felt a bit shy all of a sudden.
“Jemma, you remember Rafael.”
Rafael smiled at her and stuck out his hand.
She took it and then laughed as she pulled him in for a hug. He seemed surprised—she could feel it in his body—but then all of a sudden she felt him relax against her, squeezing her tighter.
They separated and Rafael took a step back. “You grew up.”
“I did.” She smiled at him, happy that their initial banter felt easy. “As did you.”
He smiled back and picked up the suitcases. “Come on. I’ll take you to your room.”
Douglas had gone on ahead with Gigi and the kids—probably to give Jemma and Rafael a few minutes together. Jemma was tired and ready for a little nap before dinner, but she had to admit to herself that it did feel good being back. And as she walked beside Rafael to her room, she realized how much she wanted them to be friends again. She could use some new friends in her life. Gigi had insinuated as much to her on the plane, and Jemma wondered now if Gigi had had Rafael in mind when she’d made the statement.
Everything looked pretty much the same to Jemma since she’d been to the orphanage three years ago. Shortly after Silvia’s death—when Gigi and Douglas had taken over at the orphanage—they’d had all of the buildings redone. They still retained a rustic charm, but modern plumbing had been installed and many other such things that made the living quarters much more comfortable for the kids, the volunteers, and the guests that had been coming more and more frequently over the years. When Jemma had visited over the summer, Gigi had put her in the dormitory with the older girls that lived here. The building that she and Rafael were standing in front of now was new. She was sure of it as she followed him up the steps to the small porch.
“They had this built for a few of us that are still here—after our studies have finished.” He looked shy all of a sudden as he walked down a short hallway with Jemma’s suitcase. “Well, actually it’s just me right now, so you’ll have plenty of privacy.”
Jemma thought it was sweet for Rafael to be concerned about her privacy. She also thought it interesting that Gigi and Douglas were putting them in the same house together. They must trust her more than she gave them credit for—or maybe they thought that Rafael was going to be a good influence on her.
Rafael had opened the door to a small bedroom with its own bathroom and little sitting area.
“I’m just down the hall on the opposite side and we share the kitchen and living room in that center area. I’ll show you that now if you like.”
Jemma nodded. She had forgotten how genuinely sweet Rafael was—so much Dex’s opposite. The thought appeared before she’d even realized it. She sighed and Rafael looked at her.
“Sure. Thanks for helping me with my suitcase.”
He nodded and motioned for her to follow him back out into the hall.
The rest of the house was simple but functional. There were four bedrooms in total and a nice-sized kitchen and living room area in the center. Jemma thought she’d feel right at home there—for a few weeks anyway. She was also pleased that it was a little bit set apart from where Gigi and Douglas stayed. She still had the idea in her head that there might possibly be a late-night meeting with Eduardo at some point. But she’d better not think about that just yet. She didn’t want to risk anything bad happening with Gigi and Douglas before she’d had a chance to feel the situation out a bit.
Rafael was putting a tea kettle on the stove.
“Can I make you a cup of tea?”
In what universe was Jemma living in where a guy her age was actually offering to make her anything, let alone a cup of tea? She tried to pretend that she was answering a perfectly normal question. “Sure, thank you.” She took a seat
opposite Rafael at the small kitchen table as they waited for the tea kettle to whistle.
Rafael seemed to be looking at her carefully, and Jemma couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
Finally she spoke. Just pull off the band-aid. “So go ahead.”
Rafael looked at her. “Go ahead, what?”
“I’m not sure if Douglas told you anything about why I’m here right now, but I’ve just been having a little bit of a hard time lately.”
Rafael stood up to pour the hot water into the cups that he’d readied with the tea bags, and when he handed Jemma hers, she was surprised at what she felt when their fingers touched for a few seconds. She hadn’t ever remembered feeling attracted to Rafael when she was fifteen. But then again, she’d thought very little about boys back then and now—now Rafael was not a boy. He seemed every bit a man, and so far, he seemed unlike any guy that Jemma had known.
Rafael was looking at her intently. “Well, I was with them when they got the call—from your mother.” He reached out to touch her hand and she nearly jumped out of her chair at the surprise of his touch. “Jemma. I’m really glad that you’re okay.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad that you’re here.”
Jemma stood up from her chair. She felt her eyes burning and she didn’t know if it was because she was so tired or if her emotions were about to burst forth in some embarrassing way in front of this handsome man. She did know that she needed a little time to herself.
“I’m glad I’m here too. It’s nice to see you again, Rafael.” She reached over to give him a slight hug. “Now if you’ll excuse me—I think I need to have a little nap before dinner. See you at the dining hall later?”
“It’s a date.”
Jemma felt herself smiling as she walked down the hall towards her room, already feeling more herself than she’d felt in a very long time.
Chapter 19
Jemma walked into the dining hall feeling hungry and anxious to see some of the kids that she’d known years ago. Gigi and Douglas had left the basic structure of the building when they’d had it redone, so it was still open to the outside. She smiled when she saw Gigi walking toward her.