by Ring Lardner
CHAPTER III
THE BUSHER'S HONEYMOON
_Chicago, Illinois, October 17._
FRIEND AL: Well Al it looks as if I would not be writeing so much toyou now that I am a married man. Yes Al I and Florrie was married theday before yesterday just like I told you we was going to be and Al Iam the happyest man in the world though I have spent $30 in the last 3days incluseive. You was wise Al to get married in Bedford where notnothing is nearly half so dear. My expenses was as follows:
License $ 2.00 Preist 3.50 Haircut and shave .35 Shine .05 Carfair .45 New suit 14.50 Show tickets 3.00 Flowers .50 Candy .30 Hotel 4.50 Tobacco both kinds .25
You see Al it costs a hole lot of money to get married here. The sumof what I have wrote down is $29.40 but as I told you I have spent$30 and I do not know what I have did with that other $0.60. My newbrother-in-law Allen told me I should ought to give the preist $5 andI thought it should be about $2 the same as the license so I split thedifference and give him $3.50. I never seen him before and probilywon't never see him again so why should I give him anything at all whenit is his business to marry couples? But I like to do the right thing.You know me Al.
I thought we would be in Bedford by this time but Florrie wants to sayhere a few more days because she says she wants to be with her sister.Allen and his wife is thinking about takeing a flat for the winterinstead of going down to Waco Texas where they live. I don't see nosense in that when it costs so much to live here but it is none of mybusiness if they want to throw their money away. But I am glad I got awife with some sense though she kicked because I did not get no roomwith a bath which would cost me $2 a day instead of $1.50. I says Iguess the clubhouse is still open yet and if I want a bath I can goover there and take the shower. She says Yes and I suppose I can goand jump in the lake. But she would not do that Al because the lakehere is cold at this time of the year.
When I told you about my expenses I did not include in it the mealsbecause we would be eating them if I was getting married or not gettingmarried only I have to pay for six meals a day now instead of threeand I didn't used to eat no lunch in the playing season except once ina while when I knowed I was not going to work that afternoon. I had ameal ticket which had not quite ran out over to a resturunt on IndianaAve and we eat there for the first day except at night when I tookAllen and his wife to the show with us and then he took us to a chopsuye resturunt. I guess you have not never had no chop suye Al and I amhere to tell you you have not missed nothing but when Allen was goingto buy the supper what could I say? I could not say nothing.
Well yesterday and to-day we been eating at a resturunt on CottageGrove Ave near the hotel and at the resturunt on Indiana that I had themeal ticket at only I do not like to buy no new meal ticket when I amnot going to be round here no more than a few days. Well Al I guess themeals has cost me all together about $1.50 and I have eat very littlemyself. Florrie always wants desert ice cream or something and thatruns up into money faster than regular stuff like stake and ham andeggs.
Well Al Florrie says it is time for me to keep my promise and take herto the moveing pictures which is $0.20 more because the one she likesround here costs a dime apeace. So I must close for this time and willsee you soon.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, October 22_.
AL: Just a note Al to tell you why I have not yet came to Bedfordyet where I expected I would be long before this time. Allen and hiswife have took a furnished flat for the winter and Allen's wife wantsFlorrie to stay here untill they get settled. Meentime it is costing mea hole lot of money at the hotel and for meals besides I am paying $10a month rent for the house you got for me and what good am I gettingout of it? But Florrie wants to help her sister and what can I say?Though I did make her promise she would not stay no longer than nextSaturday at least. So I guess Al we will be home on the evening trainSaturday and then may be I can save some money.
I know Al that you and Bertha will like Florrie when you get acquaintedwith her spesially Bertha though Florrie dresses pretty swell andspends a hole lot of time fusing with her face and her hair.
She says to me to-night Who are you writeing to and I told her AlBlanchard who I have told you about a good many times. She says I betyou are writeing to some girl and acted like as though she was kind ofjealous. So I thought I would tease her a little and I says I don'tknow no girls except you and Violet and Hazel. Who is Violet and Hazel?she says. I kind of laughed and says Oh I guess I better not tell youand then she says I guess you will tell me. That made me kind of madbecause no girl can't tell me what to do. She says Are you going totell me? and I says No.
Then she says If you don't tell me I will go over to Marie's that isher sister Allen's wife and stay all night. I says Go on and she wentdownstairs but I guess she probily went to get a soda because she hassome money of her own that I give her. This was about two hours agoand she is probily down in the hotel lobby now trying to scare me bymakeing me believe she has went to her sister's. But she can't fool meAl and I am now going out to mail this letter and get a beer. I won'tnever tell her about Violet and Hazel if she is going to act like that.
Yours truly, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, October 24._
FRIEND AL: I guess I told you Al that we would be home Saturdayevening. I have changed my mind. Allen and his wife has a spair bedroomand wants us to come there and stay a week or two. It won't costnothing except they will probily want to go out to the moveing picturesnights and we will probily have to go along with them and I am a man Althat wants to pay his share and not be cheap.
I and Florrie had our first quarrle the other night. I guess I told youthe start of it but I don't remember. I made some crack about Violetand Hazel just to tease Florrie and she wanted to know who they was andI would not tell her. So she gets sore and goes over to Marie's to stayall night. I was just kidding Al and was willing to tell her about themtwo poor girls whatever she wanted to know except that I don't like tobrag about girls being stuck on me. So I goes over to Marie's after herand tells her all about them except that I turned them down cold at thelast minute to marry her because I did not want her to get all swelledup. She made me sware that I did not never care nothing about them andthat was easy because it was the truth. So she come back to the hotelwith me just like I knowed she would when I ordered her to.
They must not be no mistake about who is the boss in my house. Some menlets their wife run all over them but I am not that kind. You know meAl.
I must get busy and pack my suitcase if I am going to move over toAllen's. I sent three collars and a shirt to the laundrey this morningso even if we go over there to-night I will have to take another tripback this way in a day or two. I won't mind Al because they sell mykind of beer down to the corner and I never seen it sold nowheres elsein Chi. You know the kind it is, eh Al? I wish I was lifting a few withyou to-night.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, October 28._
DEAR OLD AL: Florrie and Marie has went downtown shopping becauseFlorrie thinks she has got to have a new dress though she has got twochanges of cloths now and I don't know what she can do with anotherone. I hope she don't find none to suit her though it would not hurtnone if she got something for next spring at a reduckshon. I guessshe must think I am Charles A. Comiskey or somebody. Allen has wentto a colledge football game. One of the reporters give him a pass. Idon't see nothing in football except a lot of scrapping between littleslobs that I could lick the whole bunch of them so I did not care togo. The reporter is one of the guys that travled round with our cluball summer. He called up and said he hadn't only the one pass but hewas not hurting my feelings none because I would not go to no rottenfootball game if they payed me.
The flat across the hall from this here one is for rent furnished.They want $40 a month for it and I guess they
think they must be lotsof suckers running round loose. Marie was talking about it and saysWhy don't you and Florrie take it and then we can be right togetherall winter long and have some big times? Florrie says It would be allright with me. What about it Jack? I says What do you think I am? Idon't have to live in no high price flat when I got a home in Bedfordwhere they ain't no people trying to hold everybody up all the time.So they did not say no more about it when they seen I was in ernest.Nobody cannot tell me where I am going to live sister-in-law or nosister-in-law. If I was to rent the rotten old flat I would be paying$50 a month rent includeing the house down in Bedford. Fine chance Al.
Well Al I am lonesome and thirsty so more later.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, November 2._
FRIEND AL: Well Al I got some big news for you. I am not comeing toBedford this winter after all except to make a visit which I guess willbe round Xmas. I changed my mind about that flat across the hall fromthe Allens and decided to take it after all. The people who was in itand owns the furniture says they would let us have it till the 1 of Mayif we would pay $42.50 a month which is only $2.50 a month more thanthey would of let us have it for for a short time. So you see we got abargain because it is all furnished and everything and we won't haveto blow no money on furniture besides the club goes to California themiddle of Febuery so Florrie would not have no place to stay while I amaway.
The Allens only subleased their flat from some other people till the 2of Febuery and when I and Allen goes West Marie can come over and staywith Florrie so you see it is best all round. If we should of boughtenfurniture it would cost us in the neighborhood of $100 even without nopiano and they is a piano in this here flat which makes it nice becauseFlorrie plays pretty good with one hand and we can have lots of goodtimes at home without it costing us nothing except just the bearliveing expenses. I consider myself lucky to of found out about thisbefore it was too late and somebody else had of gotten the tip.
Now Al old pal I want to ask a great favor of you Al. I all ready havepayed one month rent $10 on the house in Bedford and I want you tosee the old man and see if he won't call off that lease. Why shouldI be paying $10 a month rent down there and $42.50 up here when thehouse down there is not no good to me because I am liveing up here allwinter? See Al? Tell him I will gladly give him another month rent tocall off the lease but don't tell him that if you don't have to. I wantto be fare with him.
If you will do this favor for me, Al, I won't never forget it. Give mykindest to Bertha and tell her I am sorry I and Florrie won't see herright away but you see how it is Al.
Yours, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, November 30._
FRIEND AL: I have not wrote for a long time have I Al but I have beenvery busy. They was not enough furniture in the flat and we have beenbuying some more. They was enough for some people maybe but I andFlorrie is the kind that won't have nothing but the best. The furniturethem people had in the liveing room was oak but they had a bookcasebilt in in the flat that was mohoggeny and Florrie would not stand forno joke combination like that so she moved the oak chairs and table into the spair bedroom and we went downtown to buy some mohoggeny. But itcosts too much Al and we was feeling pretty bad about it when we seensome Sir Cashion walnut that was prettier even than the mohoggeny andnot near so expensive. It is not no real Sir Cashion walnut but it isjust as good and we got it reasonable. Then we got some mission chairsfor the dining room because the old ones was just straw and was no goodand we got a big lether couch for $9 that somebody can sleep on if weget to much company.
I hope you and Bertha can come up for the holidays and see howcomfertible we are fixed. That is all the new furniture we haveboughten but Florrie set her heart on some old Rose drapes and a redtable lamp that is the biggest you ever seen Al and I did not have theheart to say no. The hole thing cost me in the neighborhood of $110which is very little for what we got and then it will always be ourneven when we move away from this flat though we will have to leave thefurniture that belongs to the other people but their part of it is notno good anyway.
I guess I told you Al how much money I had when the season ended. Itwas $1400 all told includeing the city serious money. Well Al I got inthe neighborhood of $800 left because I give $200 to Florrie to senddown to Texas to her other sister who had a bad egg for a husband thatmanaged a club in the Texas Oklahoma League and this was the money shehad to pay to get the divorce. I am glad Al that I was lucky enough tomarry happy and get a good girl for my wife that has got some sense andbesides if I have got $800 left I should not worry as they say.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, December 7._
DEAR OLD AL: No I was in ernest Al when I says that I wanted you andBertha to come up here for the holidays. I know I told you that I mightcome to Bedford for the holidays but that is all off. I have gave upthe idea of comeing to Bedford for the holidays and I want you to besure and come up here for the holidays and I will show you a good time.I would love to have Bertha come to and she can come if she wants toonly Florrie don't know if she would have a good time or not and thinksmaybe she would rather stay in Bedford and you come alone. But be sureand have Bertha come if she wants to come but maybe she would not injoyit. You know best Al.
I don't think the old man give me no square deal on that lease but ifhe wants to stick me all right. I am grateful to you Al for trying tofix it up but maybe you could of did better if you had of went at itin a different way. I am not finding no fault with my old pal though.Don't think that. When I have a pal I am the man to stick to him threwthick and thin. If the old man is going to hold me to that lease Iguess I will have to stand it and I guess I won't starv to death forno $10 a month because I am going to get $2800 next year besides thecity serious money and maybe we will get into the World Serious too. Iknow we will if Callahan will pitch me every 3d day like I wanted himto last season. But if you had of approached the old man in a differentway maybe you could of fixed it up. I wish you would try it again Al ifit is not no trouble.
We had Allen and his wife here for thanksgiveing dinner and the dinnercost me better than $5. I thought we had enough to eat to last a weekbut about six o'clock at night Florrie and Marie said they was hungryand we went downtown and had dinner all over again and I payed for itand it cost me $5 more. Allen was all ready to pay for it when Florriesaid No this day's treat is on us so I had to pay for it but I don'tsee why she did not wait and let me do the talking. I was going to payfor it any way.
Be sure and come and visit us for the holidays Al and of coarse ifBertha wants to come bring her along. We will be glad to see you both.I won't never go back on a friend and pal. You know me Al.
Your old pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, December 20._
FRIEND AL: I don't see what can be the matter with Bertha because youknow Al we would not care how she dressed and would not make no kick ifshe come up here in a night gown. She did not have no license to saywe was to swell for her because we did not never think of nothing likethat. I wish you would talk to her again Al and tell her she need notget sore on me and that both her and you is welcome at my house anytime I ask you to come. See if you can't make her change her mind Albecause I feel like as if she must of took offense at something I mayof wrote you. I am sorry you and her are not comeing but I suppose youknow best. Only we was getting all ready for you and Florrie said onlythe other day that she wished the holidays was over but that was beforeshe knowed you was not comeing. I hope you can come Al.
Well Al I guess there is not no use talking to the old man no more. Youhave did the best you could but I wish I could of came down there andtalked to him. I will pay him his rotten old $10 a month and the nexttime I come to Bedford and meet him on the street I will bust his jaw.I know he is a old man Al but I don't like to see nobody get the bestof me and I am sorry I ever asked him to let me off. Some of them oldskinflints has no heart Al but why should I fight with a old man overchicken f
eed like $10? Florrie says a star pitcher like I should notought never to scrap about little things and I guess she is right Al soI will pay the old man his $10 a month if I have to.
Florrie says she is jealous of me writeing to you so much and she saysshe would like to meet this great old pal of mine. I would like to haveher meet you to Al and I would like to have you change your mind andcome and visit us and I am sorry you can't come Al.
Yours truly, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, December 27._
OLD PAL: I guess all these lefthanders is alike though I thought thisAllen had some sense. I thought he was different from the most and wasnot no rummy but they are all alike Al and they are all lucky thatsomebody don't hit them over the head with a ax and kill them but Iguess at that you could not hurt no lefthanders by hitting them overthe head. We was all down on State St. the day before Xmas and thegirls was all tired out and ready to go home but Allen says No I guesswe better stick down a while because now the crowds is out and it willbe fun to watch them. So we walked up and down State St. about a hourlonger and finally we come in front of a big jewlry store window and init was a swell dimond ring that was marked $100. It was a ladies' ringso Marie says to Allen Why don't you buy that for me? And Allen says Doyou really want it? And she says she did.
So we tells the girls to wait and we goes over to a salloon whereAllen has got a friend and gets a check cashed and we come back and hebought the ring. Then Florrie looks like as though she was getting allready to cry and I asked her what was the matter and she says I hadnot boughten her no ring not even when we was engaged. So I and Allengoes back to the salloon and I gets a check cashed and we come back andbought another ring but I did not think the ring Allen had boughten wasworth no $100 so I gets one for $75. Now Al you know I am not makeingno kick on spending a little money for a present for my own wife butI had allready boughten her a rist watch for $15 and a rist watch wasjust what she had wanted. I was willing to give her the ring if she hadnot of wanted the rist watch more than the ring but when I give her thering I kept the rist watch and did not tell her nothing about it.
Well I come downtown alone the day after Xmas and they would not takethe rist watch back in the store where I got it. So I am going to giveit to her for a New Year's present and I guess that will make Allenfeel like a dirty doose. But I guess you cannot hurt no lefthander'sfeelings at that. They are all alike. But Allen has not got nothingbut a dinky curve ball and a fast ball that looks like my slow one. IfComiskey was not good hearted he would of sold him long ago.
I sent you and Bertha a cut glass dish Al which was the best I couldget for the money and it was pretty high pricet at that. We was gladto get the pretty pincushions from you and Bertha and Florrie says totell you that we are well supplied with pincushions now because theones you sent makes a even half dozen. Thanks Al for remembering us andthank Bertha too though I guess you paid for them.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Januery 3._
OLD PAL: Al I been pretty sick ever since New Year's eve. We had atable at 1 of the swell resturunts downtown and I never seen so muchwine drank in my life. I would rather of had beer but they would notsell us none so I found out that they was a certain kind that you canget for $1 a bottle and it is just as good as the kind that has got allthem fancy names but this lefthander starts ordering some other kindabout 11 oclock and it was $5 a bottle and the girls both says theyliked it better. I could not see a hole lot of difference myself and Iwould of gave $0.20 for a big stine of my kind of beer. You know me Al.Well Al you know they is not nobody that can drink more than your oldpal and I was all O.K. at one oclock but I seen the girls was gettingkind of sleepy so I says we better go home.
Then Marie says Oh, shut up and don't be no quiter. I says You bettershut up yourself and not be telling me to shut up, and she says Whatwill you do if I don't shut up? And I says I would bust her in thejaw. But you know Al I would not think of busting no girl. Then Florriesays You better not start nothing because you had to much to drink oryou would not be talking about busting girls in the jaw. Then I saysI don't care if it is a girl I bust or a lefthander. I did not meannothing at all Al but Marie says I had insulted Allen and he gets upand slaps my face. Well Al I am not going to stand that from nobodynot even if he is my brother-in-law and a lefthander that has not gotenough speed to brake a pain of glass.
So I give him a good beating and the waiters butts in and puts us allout for fighting and I and Florrie comes home in a taxi and Allen andhis wife don't get in till about 5 oclock so I guess she must of had toof took him to a doctor to get fixed up. I been in bed ever since tilljust this morning kind of sick to my stumach. I guess I must of eatsomething that did not agree with me. Allen come over after breakfastthis morning and asked me was I all right so I guess he is not soreover the beating I give him or else he wants to make friends because hehas saw that I am a bad guy to monkey with.
Florrie tells me a little while ago that she paid the hole bill at theresturunt with my money because Allen was broke so you see what kindof a cheap skate he is Al and some day I am going to bust his jaw. Shewon't tell me how much the bill was and I won't ask her to no morebecause we had a good time outside of the fight and what do I care ifwe spent a little money?
Yours truly, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Januery 20._
FRIEND AL: Allen and his wife have gave up the flat across the hallfrom us and come over to live with us because we got a spair bedroomand why should they not have the bennifit of it? But it is pretty hardfor the girls to have to cook and do the work when they is four ofus so I have a hired girl who does it all for $7 a week. It is greatstuff Al because now we can go round as we please and don't have towait for no dishes to be washed or nothing. We generally almost alwayshas dinner downtown in the evening so it is pretty soft for the girltoo. She don't generally have no more than one meal to get because wegenerally run round downtown till late and don't get up till about noon.
That sounds funny don't it Al, when I used to get up at 5 every morningdown home. Well Al I can tell you something else that may sound funnyand that is that I lost my taste for beer. I don't seem to care for itno more and I found I can stand allmost as many drinks of other stuffas I could of beer. I guess Al they is not nobody ever lived can drinkmore and stand up better under it than me. I make the girls and Allenquit every night.
I only got just time to write you this short note because Florrie andMarie is giving a big party to-night and I and Allen have got to beatit out of the house and stay out of the way till they get things ready.It is Marie's berthday and she says she is 22 but say Al if she is 22Kid Gleason is 30. Well Al the girls says we must blow so I will runout and mail this letter.
Yours truly, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Januery 31._
AL: Allen is going to take Marie with him on the training trip toCalifornia and of course Florrie has been at me to take her along. Itold her postivly that she can't go. I can't afford no stunt like thatbut still I am up against it to know what to do with her while we areon the trip because Marie won't be here to stay with her. I don't liketo leave her here all alone but they is nothing to it Al I can't affordto take her along. She says I don't see why you can't take me if Allentakes Marie. And I says That stuff is all O.K. for Allen because himand Marie has been grafting off of us all winter. And then she gets madand tells me I should not ought to say her sister was no grafter. I didnot mean nothing like that Al but you don't never know when a woman isgoing to take offense.
If our furniture was down in Bedford everything would be all O.K.because I could leave her there and I would feel all O.K. because Iwould know that you and Bertha would see that she was getting alongO.K. But they would not be no sense in sending her down to a house thathas not no furniture in it. I wish I knowed somewheres where she couldvisit Al. I would be willing to pay her bord even.
Well Al enough for this time.
Your old pal, JACK.
&
nbsp; CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, FEBUERY 4.
FRIEND AL: You are a real old pal Al and I certainly am greatful to youfor the invatation. I have not told Florrie about it yet but I am sureshe will be tickled to death and it is certainly kind of you old pal. Idid not never dream of nothing like that. I note what you say Al aboutnot excepting no bord but I think it would be better and I would feelbetter if you would take something say about $2 a week.
I know Bertha will like Florrie and that they will get along O.K.together because Florrie can learn her how to make her cloths look goodand fix her hair and fix up her face. I feel like as if you had took abig load off of me Al and I won't never forget it.
If you don't think I should pay no bord for Florrie all right. Suityourself about that old pal.
We are leaveing here the 20 of Febuery and if you don't mind I willbring Florrie down to you about the 18. I would like to see the oldbunch again and spesially you and Bertha.
Yours, JACK.
P.S. We will only be away till April 14 and that is just a nice visit.I wish we did not have no flat on our hands.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 9._
OLD PAL: I want to thank you for asking Florrie to come down there andvisit you Al but I find she can't get away. I did not know she had noengagements but she says she may go down to her folks in Texas andshe don't want to say that she will come to visit you when it is soindefanate. So thank you just the same Al and thank Bertha too.
Florrie is still at me to take her along to California but honest AlI can't do it. I am right down to my last $50 and I have not payed norent for this month. I owe the hired girl 2 weeks' salery and both Iand Florrie needs some new cloths.
Florrie has just came in since I started writeing this letter and wehave been talking some more about California and she says maybe if Iwould ask Comiskey he would take her along as the club's guest. I hadnot never thought of that Al and maybe he would because he is a prettygood scout and I guess I will go and see him about it. The league hasits skedule meeting here to-morrow and may be I can see him down to thehotel where they meet at. I am so worried Al that I can't write no morebut I will tell you how I come out with Comiskey.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 11._
FRIEND AL: I am up against it right Al and I don't know where I amgoing to head in at. I went down to the hotel where the league washolding its skedule meeting at and I seen Comiskey and got some moneyoff of the club but I owe all the money I got off of them and I amstill wondering what to do about Florrie.
Comiskey was busy in the meeting when I went down there and they wasnot no chance to see him for a while so I and Allen and some of theboys hung round and had a few drinks and fanned. This here Joe Hill thebusher that Detroit has got that Violet is hooked up to was round thehotel. I don't know what for but I felt like busting his jaw only theboys told me I had better not do nothing because I might kill him andany way he probily won't be in the league much longer. Well finallyComiskey got threw the meeting and I seen him and he says Hello youngman what can I do for you? And I says I would like to get $100 advancemoney. He says Have you been takeing care of yourself down in Bedford?And I told him I had been liveing here all winter and it did not seemto make no hit with him though I don't see what business it is of hisnwhere I live.
So I says I had been takeing good care of myself. And I have Al. Youknow that. So he says I should come to the ball park the next day whichis to-day and he would have the secretary take care of me but I saysI could not wait and so he give me $100 out of his pocket and says hewould have it charged against my salery. I was just going to brace himabout the California trip when he got away and went back to the meeting.
Well Al I hung round with the bunch waiting for him to get threw againand we had some more drinks and finally Comiskey was threw again and Ibraced him in the lobby and asked him if it was all right to take mywife along to California. He says Sure they would be glad to have heralong. And then I says Would the club pay her fair? He says I guessyou must of spent that $100 buying some nerve. He says Have you notgot no sisters that would like to go along to? He says Does your wifeinsist on the drawing room or will she take a lower birth? He says Ismy special train good enough for her?
Then he turns away from me and I guess some of the boys must of heardthe stuff he pulled because they was laughing when he went away but Idid not see nothing to laugh at. But I guess he ment that I would haveto pay her fair if she goes along and that is out of the question Al. Iam up against it and I don't know where I am going to head in at.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 12._
DEAR OLD AL: I guess everything will be all O.K. now at least I amhopeing it will. When I told Florrie about how I come out with Comiskeyshe bawled her head off and I thought for a while I was going to haveto call a doctor or something but pretty soon she cut it out and we satthere a while without saying nothing. Then she says If you could getyour salery razed a couple of hundred dollars a year would you borrowthe money ahead somewheres and take me along to California? I saysYes I would if I could get a couple hundred dollars more salery buthow could I do that when I had signed a contract for $2800 last fallallready? She says Don't you think you are worth more than $2800? AndI says Yes of coarse I was worth more than $2800. She says Well if youwill go and talk the right way to Comiskey I believe he will give you$3000 but you must be sure you go at it the right way and don't go andball it all up.
Well we argude about it a while because I don't want to hold nobodyup Al but finally I says I would. It would not be holding nobody upanyway because I am worth $3000 to the club if I am worth a nichol. Thepapers is all saying that the club has got a good chance to win thepennant this year and talking about the pitching staff and I guess theywould not be no pitching staff much if it was not for I and one or twoothers--about one other I guess.
So it looks like as if everything will be all O.K. now Al. I am goingto the office over to the park to see him the first thing in themorning and I am pretty sure that I will get what I am after because ifI do not he will see that I am going to quit and then he will see whathe is up against and not let me get away.
I will let you know how I come out.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 14._
FRIEND AL: Al old pal I have got a big supprise for you. I am going tothe Federal League. I had a run in with Comiskey yesterday and I guessI told him a thing or 2. I guess he would of been glad to sign me at myown figure before I got threw but I was so mad I would not give him nochance to offer me another contract.
I got out to the park at 9 oclock yesterday morning and it was a hourbefore he showed up and then he kept me waiting another hour so I waspretty sore when I finally went in to see him. He says Well young manwhat can I do for you? I says I come to see about my contract. He saysDo you want to sign up for next year all ready? I says No I am talkingabout this year. He says I thought I and you talked business last fall.And I says Yes but now I think I am worth more money and I want to signa contract for $3000. He says If you behave yourself and work good thisyear I will see that you are took care of. But I says That won't dobecause I have got to be sure I am going to get $3000.
Then he says I am not sure you are going to get anything. I says Whatdo you mean? And he says I have gave you a very fare contract and ifyou don't want to live up to it that is your own business. So I givehim a awful call Al and told him I would jump to the Federal League.He says Oh, I would not do that if I was you. They are haveing a hardenough time as it is. So I says something back to him and he did notsay nothing to me and I beat it out of the office.
I have not told Florrie about the Federal League business yet as Iam going to give her a big supprise. I bet they will take her alongwith me on the training trip and pay her fair but even if they don't Ishould not worry because I will make them give me a contract for $4000a year and then I can afford to take her with me on all the trips.
> I will go down and see Tinker to-morrow morning and I will write youto-morrow night Al how much salery they are going to give me. But Iwon't sign for no less than $4000. You know me Al.
Yours, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 15._
OLD PAL: It is pretty near midnight Al but I been to bed a couple oftimes and I can't get no sleep. I am worried to death Al and I don'tknow where I am going to head in at. Maybe I will go out and buy a gunAl and end it all and I guess it would be better for everybody. But Icannot do that Al because I have not got the money to buy a gun with.
I went down to see Tinker about signing up with the Federal Leagueand he was busy in the office when I come in. Pretty soon Buck Perrythe pitcher that was with Boston last year come out and seen me andas Tinker was still busy we went out and had a drink together. Buckshows me a contract for $5000 a year and Tinker had allso gave him a$500 bonus. So pretty soon I went up to the office and pretty soonTinker seen me and called me into his private office and asked whatdid I want. I says I was ready to jump for $4000 and a bonus. He saysI thought you was signed up with the White Sox. I says Yes I was but Iwas not satisfied. He says That does not make no difference to me ifyou are satisfied or not. You ought to of came to me before you signeda contract. I says I did not know enough but I know better now. He saysWell it is to late now. We cannot have nothing to do with you becauseyou have went and signed a contract with the White Sox. I argude withhim a while and asked him to come out and have a drink so we could talkit over but he said he was busy so they was nothing for me to do butblow.
So I am not going to the Federal League Al and I will not go with theWhite Sox because I have got a raw deal. Comiskey will be sorry forwhat he done when his team starts the season and is up against it forgood pitchers and then he will probily be willing to give me anythingI ask for but that don't do me no good now Al. I am way in debt and nochance to get no money from nobody. I wish I had of stayed with TerreHaute Al and never saw this league.
Your pal, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 17._
FRIEND AL: Al don't never let nobody tell you that these herelefthanders is right. This Allen my own brother-in-law who marriedsisters has been grafting and spongeing on me all winter Al. Look whathe done to me now Al. You know how hard I been up against it for moneyand I know he has got plenty of it because I seen it on him. Well AlI was scared to tell Florrie I was cleaned out and so I went to Allenyesterday and says I had to have $100 right away because I owed therent and owed the hired girl's salery and could not even pay no grocerybill. And he says No he could not let me have none because he has gotto save all his money to take his wife on the trip to California. Andhere he has been liveing on me all winter and maybe I could of took mywife to California if I had not of spent all my money takeing care ofthis no good lefthander and his wife. And Al honest he has not got athing and ought not to be in the league. He gets by with a dinky curveball and has not got no more smoke than a rabbit or something.
Well Al I felt like busting him in the jaw but then I thought No Imight kill him and then I would have Marie and Florrie both to takecare of and God knows one of them is enough besides paying his funeralexpenses. So I walked away from him without takeing a crack at himand went into the other room where Florrie and Marie was at. I saysto Marie I says Marie I wish you would go in the other room a minutebecause I want to talk to Florrie. So Marie beats it into the otherroom and then I tells Florrie all about what Comiskey and the FederalLeague done to me. She bawled something awful and then she says I wasno good and she wished she had not never married me. I says I wisht ittoo and then she says Do you mean that and starts to cry.
I told her I was sorry I says that because they is not no use fusingwith girls Al specially when they is your wife. She says No Californiatrip for me and then she says What are you going to do? And I says Idid not know. She says Well if I was a man I would do something. Sothen I got mad and I says I will do something. So I went down to thecorner salloon and started in to get good and drunk but I could not doit Al because I did not have the money.
Well old pal I am going to ask you a big favor and it is this I wantyou to send me $100 Al for just a few days till I can get on my feet. Ido not know when I can pay it back Al but I guess you know the moneyis good and I know you have got it. Who would not have it when theylive in Bedford? And besides I let you take $20 in June 4 years ago Aland you give it back but I would not have said nothing to you if youhad of kept it. Let me hear from you right away old pal.
Yours truly, JACK.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 19._
AL: I am certainly greatful to you Al for the $100 which come just alittle while ago. I will pay the rent with it and part of the grocerybill and I guess the hired girl will have to wait a while for hern butshe is sure to get it because I don't never forget my debts. I havechanged my mind about the White Sox and I am going to go on the tripand take Florrie along because I don't think it would not be right toleave her here alone in Chi when her sister and all of us is going.
I am going over to the ball park and up in the office pretty soon tosee about it. I will tell Comiskey I changed my mind and he will beglad to get me back because the club has not got no chance to finishnowheres without me. But I won't go on no trip or give the club myservices without them giveing me some more advance money so as I cantake Florrie along with me because Al I would not go without her.
Maybe Comiskey will make my salery $3000 like I wanted him to when hesees I am willing to be a good fellow and go along with him and when heknows that the Federal League would of gladly gave me $4000 if I hadnot of signed no contract with the White Sox.
I think I will ask him for $200 advance money Al and if I get it may beI can send part of your $100 back to you but I know you cannot be in nohurry Al though you says you wanted it back as soon as possible. Youcould not be very hard up Al because it don't cost near so much to livein Bedford as it does up here.
Anyway I will let you know how I come out with Comiskey and I willwrite you as soon as I get out to Paso Robles if I don't get no time towrite you before I leave.
Your pal, JACK.
P.S. I have took good care of myself all winter Al and I guess I oughtto have a great season.
P.S. Florrie is tickled to death about going along and her and I willhave some time together out there on the Coast if I can get some moneysomewheres.
_Chicago, Illinois, Febuery 21._
FRIEND AL: I have not got the heart to write this letter to you Al.I am up here in my $42.50 a month flat and the club has went toCalifornia and Florrie has went too. I am flat broke Al and all I amasking you is to send me enough money to pay my fair to Bedford andthey and all their leagues can go to hell Al.
I was out to the ball park early yesterday morning and some of the boyswas there all ready fanning and kidding each other. They tried to kidme to when I come in but I guess I give them as good as they give me. Iwas not in no mind for kidding Al because I was there on business and Iwanted to see Comiskey and get it done with.
Well the secretary come in finally and I went up to him and says Iwanted to see Comiskey right away. He says The boss was busy and whatdid I want to see him about and I says I wanted to get some advancemoney because I was going to take my wife on the trip. He says Thiswould be a fine time to be telling us about it even if you was going onthe trip.
And I says What do you mean? And he says You are not going on notrip with us because we have got wavers on you and you are sold toMilwaukee.
Honest Al I thought he was kidding at first and I was waiting for himto laugh but he did not laugh and finally I says What do you mean? Andhe says Cannot you understand no English? You are sold to Milwaukee.Then I says I want to see the boss. He says It won't do you no good tosee the boss and he is to busy to see you. I says I want to get somemoney. And he says You cannot get no money from this club and all youget is your fair to Milwaukee. I says I am not going to no Milwaukeeanyway and he says I s
hould not worry about that. Suit yourself.
Well Al I told some of the boys about it and they was pretty sore andsays I ought to bust the secretary in the jaw and I was going to do itwhen I thought No I better not because he is a little guy and I mightkill him.
I looked all over for Kid Gleason but he was not nowheres round andthey told me he would not get into town till late in the afternoon. IfI could of saw him Al he would of fixed me all up. I asked 3 or 4 ofthe boys for some money but they says they was all broke.
But I have not told you the worst of it yet Al. When I come back to theflat Allen and Marie and Florrie was busy packing up and they asked mehow I come out. I told them and Allen just stood there stareing likea big rummy but Marie and Florrie both begin to cry and I almost feltlike as if I would like to cry to only I am not no baby Al.
Well Al I told Florrie she might just is well quit packing and make upher mind that she was not going nowheres till I got money enough to goto Bedford where I belong. She kept right on crying and it got so Icould not stand it no more so I went out to get a drink because I stillhad just about a dollar left yet.
It was about 2 oclock when I left the flat and pretty near 5 when Icome back because I had ran in to some fans that knowed who I was andwould not let me get away and besides I did not want to see no more ofAllen and Marie till they was out of the house and on their way.
But when I come in Al they was nobody there. They was not nothing thereexcept the furniture and a few of my things scattered round. I sit downfor a few minutes because I guess I must of had to much to drink butfinally I seen a note on the table addressed to me and I seen it wasFlorrie's writeing.
I do not remember just what was there in the note Al because I tore itup the minute I read it but it was something about I could not supportno wife and Allen had gave her enough money to go back to Texas and shewas going on the 6 oclock train and it would not do me no good to tryand stop her.
Well Al they was not no danger of me trying to stop her. She was not nogood Al and I wisht I had not of never saw either she or her sister ormy brother-in-law.
For a minute I thought I would follow Allen and his wife down to thedeepo where the special train was to pull out of and wait till I seehim and punch his jaw but I seen that would not get me nothing.
So here I am all alone Al and I will have to stay here till you send methe money to come home. You better send me $25 because I have got a fewlittle debts I should ought to pay before I leave town. I am not goingto Milwaukee Al because I did not get no decent deal and nobody cannotmake no sucker out of me.
Please hurry up with the $25 Al old friend because I am sick and tiredof Chi and want to get back there with my old pal.
Yours, JACK.
P.S. Al I wish I had of took poor little Violet when she was so stuckon me.