by Lyons, Rene
“It felt right.” Though a part of her didn’t want to know the answer, the question tumbled from her before she could stop it. “How many times have you fed since the night at The Gate?”
Sebastian didn’t hesitate in his answer—unfortunately “Every night.”
Gone was her relaxed state. Hurt and jealousy exploded through her like the shattering of glass. “Oh. I hadn’t realized it was that much.”
Not being the jealous type, this was all new to her and left her heart raw with pain.
Allie never thought herself a violent person, yet her heartache made her want to smack Sebastian right in the mouth.
Disgusted, she went to climb off his lap but Sebastian stopped her. He settled her back on top of him and placed a finger under her chin. He tilted her head so he could see her face. “I haven’t touched another woman since the night I found you poking around my room.”
Okay—now she was confused. “But you’ve been feeding.”
He gave a small shrug. “Animals, Allie. I’ve been feeding from animals.”
Her jealousy died instantly. “I thought vampires couldn’t do that.”
“We can, but it only quiets the hunger. It doesn’t sate it.”
The admission floored her. Five nights had gone by since the night at The Gate. Five nights he’d suffered with the hunger. It had to have been sheer torture and so much more than she expected him to put himself through.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes I did.” He stroked her cheek tenderly. “The thought of my hands on another woman made me sick.”
That statement was worth a million “I love yous”.
She gave him a fierce hug and showered his face with kisses. “Thank you,”
He smiled and she saw his fangs peeking out from behind his lips. “You’re welcome.”
She leaned into him, resting her cheek against his chest and wrapped her hands around his waist. “Can I ask you another question?”
“You can ask me anything, sunshine.”
She smiled at the way his voice rumbled through him, echoing within him. “What’s it like?”
“What’s what like?”
She licked her lips, hesitating for a moment. She didn’t want to open old wounds, yet she felt it was time she began to see into his world. “Being a medieval warrior in this day and age?”
Sebastian had wondered how long it would take her to start asking about his life. The curiosity must have been killing her given her inquisitive nature. If their positions were reversed and she’d been the one to see history played out before her eyes, his curiosity would burn him to know what that must have been like.
“Wrong,” he admitted without hesitation. “I look around at what the world became and I feel wrong here.”
She pursed her lips together and nodded gravely. “I can understand that.” She gave him a curious look. “You know? I don’t even know your birthday.”
So many centuries had passed since he marked the day, he had to think about it for a minute. “November nineteenth, twelve eighty-two.”
Allie must have done the math in her head before letting out a soft whistle. “Wow. My boyfriend is six hundred and twenty three years old. Talk about a May-December romance.”
Sebastian smiled at that. He liked that she called him her boyfriend. “I was only twenty-eight when I died.”
“I can’t even imagine all the things you must have seen.”
If he stopped to think about it, even he couldn’t imagine the things he’d witnessed. He’d stood in the presence of kings and queens. Stood in the shadows and watched historical events unfold right before his eyes. “One day I’ll tell you all the wonders I’ve seen.”
Her smile was radiant and her laugh infectious. “That’d sure make watching the History Channel a lot more fun.” Then the bomb he dropped crept back into her mind. “Why were you celibate for so long?”
Cringing inwardly, Sebastian knew Allie wasn’t going to let that bit of news go too long without an explanation.
He lifted her off his lap and set her aside. Lying back on the bed, he folded his arms behind his head. She scooted over to him, making sure she was still covered by the sheet. He found her modesty adorable considering what they’d just done.
She was a bloody mess and pale as death. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, the spark gone, leaving them dull and lifeless. His saliva already healed the two small punctures his fangs made, leaving behind bruises that would fade naturally.
It was exactly how she looked after being attacked by those renegades.
He had no words for how deeply it pained him to have done this to her. Even as his guilt knew no bounds, a part of him felt intensely satisfied to have been able to take the life she so selflessly offered him.
Her generosity and love humbled him.
“I drove a woman mad.”
He gave her credit for how fast she snapped her jaw closed after it dropped open. “You can’t be serious.”
“I assure you I did. Her name was Selena Ashford. She was the daughter of a local lord back in Northumberland.” He remembered the night like it happened only yesterday. “And only fifteen when I saw her running through the woods that separated Seacrest and Rydon. What a sight she was in that white gown. She looked like an angel.
“I made quick work of the renegade chasing her, though not quick enough. Selena saw me take the bastard out. She saw what I was, what I did. She saw me reduce the renegade to dust.”
Allie looked baffled. The sentiment was reflected in her tone. “You saved her life.”
“She lost her mind that night and I was responsible.” Though he hardly ever thought back on that night, the recollection of the look in Selena’s eyes still cut through him. “The renegade should have killed her. After seeing what she became, it would have been the merciful thing.”
Allie placed her hand on his chest. Her icy flesh chilled him.
“No, Sebastian. Take it from me because I know, if you would have left her for that renegade you would have condemned her to Hell.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Can’t I?” Allie kept her voice whisper soft. “I was attacked remember? I know what it feels like to have a monster stealing from your body. That vampire wasn’t only taking my blood, Sebastian, he was stealing my soul.”
“Oh God,” Sebastian said hoarsely. He sat up, his hands biting into her shoulders as he fought the need to give her a good shake. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have taken from you if I’d known that.”
Allie’s hands covered his. She pried them off her and held them down by threading her fingers through his. “I don’t know. I never wanted anyone to know that.”
Sebastian lay back and ran his hands over his face and head as he exhaled loudly. At that moment, feeling like a demon that crawled out of the bowels of Hell, he swore he could almost hear Lucifer’s laugh cutting through the silence.
“You didn’t drive Selena mad. Your takedown of the renegade obviously triggered what must have been there all along. You have to know that’s true, Sebastian.”
When Allie lay down next to him, he gathered her close and held her against his side, wishing he could give her warmth back. He liked her in his arms, it was where she belonged. “I watched over her until the day she died. For twenty-six years I witnessed her suffering. I swore I’d never do that to another living soul. I only put myself around humans when I had to feed.”
“That’s because you’re a good man.” Allie snuggled closer into him. “What made you break your celibacy vow after all these years?”
He rolled over onto her. He wanted her again, but she looked like hell and he knew she wasn’t up for another go. “You, Allie. Everything about you.”
“I’m flattered.”
He felt her love for him run through him. It lit him, burned him, made him wish to God he was alive with her, to share life with her not merely take it with nothing but death to give in return.
T
hough he didn’t want to leave her, he had to. He had to put some distance between them in order to clear his mind and regain control.
“I’ll be right back.”
Getting out of the bed, Sebastian placed a kiss on Allie’s forehead, loving the small, shy smile she gave him. He headed into the bathroom, stopping only long enough to pull on his pants. After washing her blood from his face he brought her a wet cloth. By the time he got back to her, though only gone for a few minutes, she was already drifting off to sleep.
Her eyes opened when he began to wipe the blood from her. “Am I that much of a mess?”
“I’m afraid so.” He felt guilty as sin for it.
She touched her hair and groaned. “I bet I look awful.”
“You look beautiful.”
“You’re a good liar.” Her laugh was weak at best, her eyelids already closing again. “My hair is a matted mess. It’s the one drawback of keeping it so long.” She rubbed his shorn head and giggled, the first time he ever heard the like from her. “Guess you wouldn’t know anything about that.”
“No, I wouldn’t.” He ran his hand through her hair, working the knots free. “All better.”
“Thanks.”
Her arms reached out to him, beckoning him back to her. It was hell to resist what she offered. “I have to go for a bit, sunshine.”
He expected hell from her. Obviously, his Allie was too tired to protest. “Hurry back, okay?”
“I will. Get some rest.”
Her eyes fluttered closed, yet when he went to leave, Allie whispered his name. He turned back to her. “Are you coming back before I have to go?”
“Don’t worry, Allie, I’ll always come back to you.”
She looked relieved as she snuggled into his bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Sebastian stood staring at her for the longest time, marveling at her.
His eyes cut through the dark as he quietly left the room and made his way down to the den. He needed to put some small distance between Allie and himself for her sake. Already he wanted her again and hoped being away from her would allow him to gain control over his body.
He felt Constantine’s presence in the house. Bloody hell. The last thing he wanted was to deal with the Dragon.
Constantine reclined on the sofa, his jaw clenched and his anger palpable. The television was on but he wasn’t watching it. He sat staring out into nothing.
“I thought you and Raphael were going out to hunt with Lucian,” Sebastian remarked as he sank down on the couch.
Constantine slowly turned his head and pierced him with an icy glare. “You fucked her and fed from her.”
Sebastian flinched at that harsh accusation. “That’s none of your goddamn business.”
“Cocksucker.” Constantine fisted his hands. He was barely holding onto his fury. “I should fucking end you right now.”
Sebastian cocked a brow at him. Of all the Templars, they were the most evenly matched. They both fought with the same level of ferocity. “You can try.”
Fangs bared, Constantine leaned in close to him. “You had no right.”
Yes, well, he already knew that, too bad he wasn’t about to admit it to Constantine. “Believe me, C, she was more than willing.”
A feral sound reverberated in the back of Constantine’s throat. “I know. I heard.”
Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t like that Constantine heard every one of Allie’s whimpers and moans.
Letting out a loud sign, Sebastian leaned back on the couch. “I care about her, Constantine.”
“No shit.”
“You and that other asshole knew this would happen if you got us together so what’s the fucking problem? You and Raphael got exactly what you were hoping for.”
Constantine stood and went to stalk from the room. “Fate’s a funny bitch. She always finds a way. All we did was give you both a push.” His eyes were haunted when they met his. “She’s too fucking good for any of us.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
Constantine stopped in the doorway and looked back at him. “Something’s going to go down big, Sage. Protect her.”
Sebastian knew better than to doubt Constantine’s warnings. “You know I will.”
Constantine nodded curtly. It was his way of accepting the situation.
The Dragon left the manor silently after that warning. Sebastian shut off the television and sat in the dark listening to Allie’s soft breathing. She was all over him. He could feel her lifeforce thundering through him. It made him feel alive again, and that was something he’d never come close to feeling since the night he died.
Actually, if the truth were known, he’d lost this feeling long before that day.
Sometime during his long captivity at Chinon, he lost his humanity alongside his spirit, a dead man years before they lit the fire and cheered his death. He died the night they broke him. The night his own screams nearly deafened him.
Tired of being alone, of fighting against his nature, Sebastian rose and went back upstairs. After laying out some things he thought Allie might need when she woke, he slipped into bed next to her. He felt an unfamiliar knot of emotion in his chest when she curled herself into him. He put his arms around her, holding her naked body against his.
It was as close to Heaven as he ever hoped to get.
Chapter Fifteen
Though Allie warned her against going out, Lex felt as if the walls of Allie’s house were closing in on her.
With Allie gone for the night, likely out with the Templar vampires, she didn’t want to be alone. Having no one else to call here, she tracked down Patricia Olsen. Not Lex’s first choice of friends, still, Patricia would do in a pinch.
What a bad idea it’d been to get together with that catty bitch. All it served was to remind Lex how different she was from the girls she’d considered her friends when she lived here.
Not that things were much better in Florida.
No matter where she went and who she was with, seemed Lex was destined to feel like the odd man out.
She’d driven Allie’s old Dodge into Edessa, the next town over from Damascus, taking the dark and twisting roads cautiously. She’d spent barely an hour at Patricia’s before she needed to go. Her friend hadn’t changed a bit since high school. She still had the power to make Lex feel awkward. Freakish.
Seeing Patricia was a harsh reminder of how far removed Lex was from the “normal” world. Unfortunately it left her with nowhere to fit in, since, thus far, Allie adamantly refused to allow her into the nighttime world where fairy tales were real and normalcy was the unusual.
Passing Our Lady of Grace church, located ironically on Church Street, Lex felt compelled to go in. Though it was late, she saw Father Phil smoking a cigarette outside the rectory and asked the friendly old priest if she could have a few minutes alone with God. More than happy to oblige a young person in their quest for the Lord, he’d opened the church to her.
This was the first time since her brother’s funeral she’d been in a church. Lex didn’t know why she stayed away from God so long. After all, she knew for a fact He existed. Allie told her all about the Templars, how they died and were reborn as vampires and how God cursed them, their souls taken by an archangel.
If that wasn’t proof of God she didn’t know what was.
On her knees, forehead to her clasped hands, Lex was beyond prayer and beyond thought. She long since settled into a wonderful state of perfect peace, not even realizing an entire hour came and went until finally her tortured knees took her out of her trance.
Looking down at her watch she cringed with dread when she saw it was nearly eleven o’clock. Though Allie wouldn’t be home yet, her sister was bound to call to check in on her. If she wasn’t there, Allie would have a coronary, rush home, find her gone and kill her for leaving.
An angry Allie was the last thing Lex wanted to deal with.
Rising from her aching knees, Lex stretched and looked around for Father Phil,
thinking to thank him for letting her linger so long. Seeing he was nowhere to be found, she left quietly.
She was coming out of the church when saw him standing at the foot of the stone steps.
Lex felt frozen to the spot by the sight of the man. Good God, he was huge. The expression of his face was enough to chill her despite the warm, humid air of the summer night.
Tall, broad, dangerous, and handsome as all get-out, he looked like the poster boy for Gothic fashion. On him, the gothic clothes didn’t come across as a costume. No, he owned the look, as if the whole look had been created solely for him.
He was staring at the church with oddest eyes she’d ever seen. They were silver and quite literally, glowed.
Oh God, he’s a vampire.
By all rights Lex knew she should be terrified, knew she should retreat back into the church where she’d be safe. Yet her feet froze to the spot as excitement thundered through her.
How odd to find such a creature near a church. Weren’t there rules preventing such a thing?
Maybe it was the fleeting look of dejection that passed across his face. He stared at the church as if she wasn’t there, as if it were only God and him and nothing else existed.
She knew the feeling. She’d indulged in it for the last hour.
Unsure what to do, Lex stood staring down at him and noticed the jagged scar that cut down the left side of his face. It should have made him ugly. It didn’t. If anything, it made him more appealing.
This was a man who shook off the perfection of youth and settled into the wear and tear of adulthood.
His frosty stare shifted and settled on her. He cocked a brow at her as his tongue ran over his bottom lip. “What have we here?”
His voice was low and smooth. There was a hint of amusement in his tone that she chose to ignore.
“Are you alright?”
“I am now.”
Something about the way he said that made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
As if he wasn’t a threat to her life, Lex let the door close and began down the stairs. She knew with every step she took toward him it brought her closer to her mortality. Yet she felt no fear. She wondered if he’d put a spell on her, but dismissed the idea when she recalled Allie said vampires couldn’t do that.