by C. T. Phipps
“Superheroes are what people should aspire to,” I said. “Not something people should bring down to their level.”
Gabrielle and Kerri both looked at me, their thoughts obvious. After all, who was I to talk about superheroes when I’d chosen to go the exact opposite route with my powers?
“It’s a good point,” Cloak observed. “You could do so much more.”
“I could do worse too,” I thought back. “You got any theories as to who might have pulled this off?”
“Not without knowing the circumstances of his death, no. I do know this might be a cosmological shift-point in history, though. The historical records of the fortieth century speak of a Twilight of the Superheroes that occurs sometime in this era. A terrible conflict that results in the deaths of the majority of superhumans as well as much of the baseline population. It’s an event that followed the deaths of the Nightwalker and Ultragod.”
“You didn’t think to mention this until now?” I thought to Cloak.
“It’s only one of many alternate pasts.”
“Alternate pasts?”
“There are an infinite number of pasts the way there are an infinite number of futures. Continuity in this reality is more like suggestions rather than hard facts. For example, there’s a Gary Karkofsky, Teen Reporter who is Gabrielle’s love-interest in the sixties. A Gary Karkofsky who is Mandy, Foundation Agent’s husband in the nineties. There’s also a grim and gritty Gary Karkofsky who is a cannibal pimp in a universe where superheroes just appeared last year and are all arrogant sociopaths.”
“A cannibal pimp?!”
“Yeah, we don’t like to talk about that universe.”
“Do you think the government is responsible for Ultragod?” I asked, deciding to push all that to the back of my mind.
Gabrielle looked down. “I don’t know.”
There was a time when the idea of the government having the most powerful and beloved superhero in the world assassinated would have sounded like tinfoil hattery nonsense spouted by people like—well, me, but hearing Ultragoddess seriously contemplate that was like a punch to the gut.
Things had changed in the past two decades, becoming less and less fun. It was harder to trust the government and the government reacted by becoming less and less trustworthy. Then again, maybe it had always been that way and I just hadn’t noticed until adulthood because I’d grown up a reasonably privileged white kid. Still, I hoped it wasn’t President Omega.
I could deal with the president wanting to kill me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with a world where the president wanted to kill the Society of Superheroes. I was too much of an anarchist to believe in American democracy but still liked to think our leaders had some standards.
My mistake.
“Ultragod’s dead?” Kerri asked, shocked. “He once came to our school to talk about how drugs were awful!”
“Yeah, I was dealing pot with Cindy that day so I missed it.”
Gabrielle gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Thanks, Gary, I needed that.”
“Yes, that was totally a joke and not at all; what actually happened.”
“A lot of those public relations visits were Ultraforce-construct doppelgangers anyway. It allowed him to do more good than any single man could accomplish.”
“Keep it under wraps for the time being, Kerri,” I said, taking a deep breath. “There’s an imposter running about and he’s after Gabrielle.”
Kerri nodded. “Cross my heart and hope not to die because then I’d become a spook and I’d be surrounded by friends.”
Sometimes, I had no words. “Okay. Sure.”
Kerri and I had gotten into plenty of arguments about the fact that my job as the Reaper’s Cloak-bearer was to serve as a psychopomp, i.e. a guy who sent spooks to their natural resting place. I’d sent onward literally thousands of ghosts since getting it, and some of them had been people Kerri had known.
The vast majority of them had been happy with it, though. It’s just Kerri had difficulty telling the difference between alive and dead. Then again, I was the one who insisted Mandy could be healed no matter what. I made a mental note to also try and figure out a way to bring Ultragod back.
“Well, I suppose we can start to investigate your father’s death once we’ve got the rest of the team joined. Cindy is likely to be at the hospital—”
“Are you sure she’ll want to help?” Kerri asked.
I made a throat slit gesture across my neck. I didn’t want to get into this around Gabrielle, especially given what she was suffering through right now.
“What’s wrong with Cindy?” Gabrielle asked.
Kerri ignored my gesture. “She confessed her love to Gary and he fumbled the return because he’s still in love with his vampire wife.”
The King shook his head. “You’ve checked into the heartbreak hotel friend.”
“I’m not in love with what is walking around in Mandy’s corpse,” I corrected her. “Also, please kindly avoid quoting your songs in everyday conversations.”
The King shrugged. “People expect it.”
“Ignoring the fact that you talk to far too many people I can’t see,” Gabrielle said, “I’d like for you to know I approve. Cindy is a good girl.”
I stared at her. “No, she isn’t.”
Gabrielle paused. “Okay, no, she isn’t. However. she might be good for you.”
“How reassuring.”
Kerri finished sweeping up all the debris from our windows into a pile. “You aren’t jealous?”
“Putting aside the fact my father is dead, no. I long ago made a decision to put being a superheroine over any romantic considerations. Gary was when I chose that. I haven’t changed my mind since.”
“I thought you and the Golden Scarab—”
“Just sex and friendship.”
That was the definition of my best relationships. “Well, I trust Cindy to want to help. Diabloman is just a phone call away too. Are you sure he’s someone you want working on this? I know you two have history.”
“History is putting it mildly. If I was going to assume any single supervillain was responsible for Ultragod’s death, Diabloman would be high on the list. You didn’t know him during the nineties. He was a terrifying monster who had all of the Nightwalker’s intelligence, strength, and cunning combined with my father’s leadership capabilities. He even destroyed the universe once.”
Kerri paused in lifting a dust bin full of broken glass. “How do you destroy the universe?”
“Surprisingly easily it turns out,” I said, remembering how Zul-Barbas had almost destroyed reality and remade it without any supers. I still had nightmares about a world where heroes only existed in fiction. “Thankfully, it can be rebooted.”
“Ah,” Kerri said. “I’m going to go hide under a pillow now.”
I gave a dismissive wave. “Eh, it’s not that bad.”
“Actually, it’s much worse.”
“Either way, Diabloman has changed. I’d stake my life on that.”
“You do, every time you go out into the night with him. You hope and pray he doesn’t revert to realizing you’ve given him access to millions in the way of funds he can use to rebuild his criminal organization, weapons he can use to take over the city, and powers that can be used to heal his crippling illness.”
I looked over my shoulder. “Actually, I kind of healed Diabloman of that crippling black magic illness which ended his career awhile back. I stumbled over it when I was looking for a cure for Mandy.”
Gabrielle closed her eyes. “Well, that’s good.”
“Hey, you believe in redemption, right?”
“Yes, it’s just harder when the person is the person responsible for the death of friends.”
I knew that feeling. “Yeah. Well....we don’t have to call him.”
“Do it.” Gabrielle sighed. “We need all the criminal masterminds we can get on this.”
“Kerri, could you go make sure Lisa isn’t tweeting about all
of this? If anyone can shake off Ultra-mesmerism, it’s a teenage girl.”
Kerri looked around. “But I’m not done cleaning!”
“You can afford to hire someone.”
“But they might disturb our colony of sentient spiders from space in the basement!”
“We have a what now?”
Kerri looked guilty. “Yes, I will go deal with Lisa now. I will do that and hope you forget about what I just told you.”
Kerri quickly rushed out the door to the lounge.
Gabrielle watched her leave. “Man, and I thought my family was weird.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to call in any of your Shadow Seven friends? Maybe the former Texas Guardians?” I asked, starting to make a phone call on my computer watch.
The Texas Guardians had been sort of a Pre-Team for younger or simply inexperienced superheroes. Texas was a state the size of a country with its own collection of myriad monsters, ruthless gangsters, supernaturals, and weirdness in constant need of dealing with.
With the supervision of local heroes, the Texas Guardians had managed to make it one of the safest places in the world. Diabloman had destroyed that safety with the aid of his cult and army of mercenaries, killing both the Guitarist and his sister, Spellbinder. It had triggered the Dark Age of Superheroes every bit as much as Shoot-Em-Up murdering my brother. There were still some of them around, though, like the Texas Twister and the El Paso Avenger. I’d heard they’d even reformed the team, recruiting a new generation of young heroes and former sidekicks eager to make a name for themselves.
The Shadow Seven were a different story, being something of a covert ops team of superheroes who didn’t mind getting their hands dirty and supervillains looking for redemption. It included Mandy’s ex-girlfriend Black Witch, the Red Schoolgirl, the Human Tank, the Bronze Medalist, ex-terrorist General Venom, and technically me. They did a lot of the work that people like President Omega tried to prevent, like protecting the people of Falconcrest City during the Fall and overthrowing dictators being propped up by the big nations.
“Not right now,” Gabrielle said. “I don’t know how many superheroes have been affected by the Ultra-imposter’s powers and if he doesn’t know about Shadow Seven, that leaves them as a possible ace in the hole. Besides, I don’t have enough friends in the world to risk them against a threat that can kill my father.”
“Just all the world-destroying threats we’ve already faced together.”
“Later, Gary, please.”
I nodded and dialed Diabloman. I heard the song, Highway to Hell by AC/DC before he picked it up. “I told you to not call me in the mornings. The shipments of weapons and robots will be ready for Operation Kingslayer.”
“What was that?”
“Oh, hello, Gary!” Diabloman said, sounding chagrined. “I was just, uh, planning the overthrow of a government.”
“Ours?”
“Yes.” He sounded guilty.
“Super!” I said, disappointed in Diabloman. We were supposed to be a team. “However, I’m going to need you to take a break from that to help me and Gabrielle solve a murder.”
“Who?”
“I’ll tell you at Cindy’s hospital. You never know who may be listening.”
“Yet, you speak about where we’re going to meet.”
I hadn’t thought of that. “....Just go there.”
I then shut off my computer. “Okay, everything’s prepped. Are you okay keeping your powers on the down low? We don’t want anyone picking up on your presence until we’re ready to reveal ourselves. I’ve got a couple of changes of clothes in your size upstairs.”
“Have many women over or is Cindy cosplaying as me?”
I paused. “Yes and no. I’m not saying to which. Let’s go...TO THE MERCILESS MOBILE!”
Gabrielle frowned. “Yeah, let’s go play hero.”
I gave her another hug.
And she broke down crying in my arms.
I cried too.
Chapter Eleven
Where We Discover Not to Screw Around with the US of A
“This isn’t quite the vehicle I expected you to be driving us out in,” Gabrielle said, now wearing a pair of khaki pants and a white sweater. She had a pair of glasses on and her hair in a ponytail, which without Ultra-mesmerism would have done little to disguise her identity as one of the world’s most famous superheroines.
The two of us were driving around in a white minivan with the words “Carol’s Floral Arrangements” on the side. I’d changed into a pair of black jeans and a black hoodie, which wasn’t all that better disguise-wise. I looked like a hip new re-imagining of Merciless rather than a thirty-odd-year-old civilian.
“Incognito is not just a funny-sounding word. Even I know that, crazy house additions aside,” I said from behind the wheel. “Besides, I never quite got the hang of driving around the Nightcar, so it’s better to do this in case we get into any chase sequences.”
“I thought the Nightcar, Mercilessmobile, or whatever was self-driving.”
“Yeah, but that’s cheating.”
It was never really morning or afternoon in Falconcrest City. Rain clouds, snow, or the towering gargoyle-covered buildings always blotted out the sun. Still, I noticed more people out and about than in previous trips. The Fall had devastated the city, but almost two-thirds of the population had returned, with the remainder being replaced by new arrivals looking for cheap housing. There was something different about the city too. The people who had been trapped in dome had rallied together under Ultragoddess and Mandy, which left them closer than they’d been before. With the destruction of the Brotherhood of Infamy, the police force was far less corrupt too. I would never say the Fall was a good thing—you only had to wait until night for that to be rebutted—but I did believe my city was going to rise from the ashes.
Stronger than before.
“Or maybe I’m just kidding myself,” I muttered.
“Thinking about your city?” Gabrielle asked.
“Yeah,” I said, shaking my head. There was so much going on it was hard to process it all. “Superheroes have failed to stop big disasters before. Terrorist attacks, individual murders, and natural disasters but this somehow feels different. It was the worst.”
“Superheroes aren’t invincible. Sometimes we fail.” That statement had a lot more weight to it since I knew that Ultragod was dead.
“You did your best, but a lot of people expect you to be immortal and perfect.”
“I wish that were true.”
We passed by a statue of Ultragoddess on the way to South Falconcrest City. The proverbial wrong-side of the tracks was one of the biggest changes in the area as Karkofsky Company Construction was tearing down the slums to build better housing. Better housing which, shockingly, all of the residents would be able to afford.
There was, hilariously, a billboard sign of Merciless endorsing SuperCola over one of the finished buildings, and another of Cindy in her Red Riding Hood attire, telling parents to get their kids vaccinated, “Or we’re going to come and steal your stuff.” I was pleased to say that little bit of fear-mongering had worked wonders.
“You’re very popular here. The supervillain thing doesn’t seem to have affected that.”
I shrugged. “It seems if you kill a bunch of violent supervillains and psychotic superheroes before tossing around free money, people will start to like you.”
“You underestimate the kind of good you’ve done.”
“That was mostly you and Mandy. I’m still the supervillain without mercy.”
“I still don’t understand why you call yourself that. You do what you think is right and are one of the most merciful people I know.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
“I know you pretty well. Enough to know it’s not the city taking a hit which is bothering you.” Gabrielle looked out the window at a trio of black children playing with super-soakers. One of them had scars around his neck f
rom a zombie bite. “I’m sorry about what happened with Mandy. I heard about her transformation into a vampire and considered trying to help with it. I decided I’d only end up doing more harm than good.”
That got me curious. “Didn’t you work with a vampire?”
“Yes, Bloodscream the Retributive— or as I liked to call him, John. He was a good man who struggled every day to fake feeling mercy, pity, love, remorse, and friendship. He struggled to regain the sense of empathy he’d lost. In the end, the hunger won and we had to put him down. He was my friend both before and after he died.”
I suspected there was something more there as well, or perhaps there simply could have been.
“I’m not giving up on Mandy.”
Gabrielle removed her glasses and looked at me. “Is that because you think you can succeed or because you blame yourself?”
“It’s because I can bring her back. If a man can fly, a woman can be restored from the dead. This city was overrun by fucking zombies last year. The least it can do is restore its protector to life.”
Gabrielle was silent. “If you figure out a way to reverse death, Gary, share it with the rest of us. You’re not alone in feeling grief.”
That was a real kick in the chest.
“Can’t you just, I dunno, bring him back from the dead?” I asked. “I have a time machine.”
“Those don’t actually alter time Gary.”
I sighed. “Yeah, that’s true. They just take you to a parallel universe. After I failed to help Mandy, I started using it to attend Beatles concerts.”
Also, to kill Nazis.
A lot of Nazis.
Gabrielle smiled. “How did that work?”
“Pretty well,” I said, smiling. “I’m actually friends with a couple of John Lennons.”
“I’m surprised you came back to the future.”
I had considered, at one point, finding a Mandy and settling down with her. It wouldn’t have been my Mandy, though. I would have been depriving another Gary of the opportunity to be with her as well. Even so, the temptation to look at her again had been overwhelming. I’d finally asked Diabloman to hide the machine so I could stop stalking my past self and wife on their happier days. “Yeah, it was hard at times.”