I’ll never forget the way I clung to him, coughing and gasping for air.
He sat me on my favorite pink towel and kept saying my name over and over.
He kept saying soothing things to me.
I couldn’t stop looking at the ocean and panicking.
My father finally made me look at him.
He said we were going to play a game.
He wanted me to take a deep breath in for four and out for four.
I did that over and over and the feeling went away.
In a few minutes I was calm.
A few minutes after that calmness, I was laughing again.
That’s what I do now.
I breathe in… then out… then in… then out…
It’s not working though.
Nothing is working.
I’m trapped here!
I’m stuck here!
Help!
H-E-L-P!
“Help! Help! Help!”
A hand touches my face.
I jump…
And the dream ends again.
I grab the sheets on the bed and open my eyes.
I gasp for a breath.
“It’s okay… I’m right here… it was just a dream, Jolie. Just another bad dream.”
I take another breath and hurry to sit up.
Mama Dae is right there to comfort me.
She hugs me.
And I start to feel better.
Okay, fine, I’m more or less hiding at the moment.
It’s not technically a kidnapping, but that’s what everyone else needs to think.
Why?
I’m not sure yet.
Soon enough though, I’ll know everything.
That’s what Mama Dae keeps telling me.
I stand at the bathroom sink and splash water on my face.
That stupid nightmare keeps happening.
All because of the word kidnapping.
From the second I was told I had to be fake kidnapped, that dream conjured itself up in my mind. It was so quick and instant. And I know it’s just a dream. I know it’s nothing close to reality at all.
Yet I keep having it over and over.
Somewhere inside me I keep thinking it’s really going to happen.
Someone is going to show up and take me away.
The man who was in my apartment? Is he the one?
I shake my head.
“No, Jolie, no,” I whisper.
The guy that had scared me in my apartment… he had something to do with my father.
I’m fake kidnapped or hiding for my own good.
My own safety.
I’m not sure I believe that but it’s all I have to grasp at.
I reach for a towel and dry my face.
When I turn, the doorway’s empty.
Mama Dae is back downstairs.
I feel bad that she has to come up the stairs to calm me down when I’m having that nightmare. I must yell for help so loud…
I swallow hard and want to cry.
But I don’t.
I know how to control it now.
There’s no reason to cry.
It’s not going to solve anything.
I look to the bathroom window.
It’s dark out.
Duh.
I wonder what’s actually happening out there.
What are my parents thinking? Do they know anything yet? Are they freaking out? Are they scared? What does my father feel right now? Does he blame himself?
I shuffle my feet across the bathroom floor and go out into the hallway.
I go to the steps.
I want to tell Mama Dae I’m sorry.
She won’t accept it though.
She doesn’t want me to be sorry or feel sorry.
I start to turn when I hear a voice.
It’s not Mama Dae’s voice…
Don’t worry… it’s just the person from the police department who is supposed to find me.
Find me.
I sit on the top step and roll my eyes.
I will say, I do feel a little bit captive though.
The line between hiding and kidnapped seems more and more blurred right now.
It’s so weird to just want to go outside and walk somewhere.
Where?
No idea.
I just want to walk somewhere.
I want to…
I want to text Violet.
I want to talk to her.
My cellphone was tossed into the ocean to throw everyone off my trail.
I have another phone now.
But it’s cheap.
It’s a burner cell.
Burner cell.
I can’t believe I know what that is.
Or the fact that I have one and use it.
Oh, or maybe the fact that Mama Dae has a basket full of them.
You know how some people have a basket full of knitting stuff? Maybe you do or don’t… but it’s a box that’s meant to have sewing stuff in it. Needles, thread, that kind of stuff.
Not Mama Dae.
She has a basket full of guns.
And a basket full of phones.
And if a phone gets compromised, it’s quickly destroyed.
This is my life now.
I have Violet’s number memorized.
I know I can’t call her. But I can’t stand the idea of her worrying about me either.
“You think she’s going to be okay?”
“She’s fine,” Mama Dae says. “She’s got a tough soul. Maybe it doesn’t show on the exterior…”
“You think?”
I hear the sound of a slap.
I cringe.
“Sorry about that, Mama,” Declan says.
Yeah, that’s right, Declan is the cop who is supposed to be looking for me.
Don’t worry, he knows I’m upstairs.
He’s part of this entire thing too.
Is your head sick yet from spinning too much?
Because mine is.
I take a deep breath and listen to their conversation.
“She’s fine here,” Mama Dae says. “You just need to point in a different direction.”
“I can only do that so much,” Declan says. “Eventually they’ll stop listening to me.”
“We’ll handle that when the time comes,” Mama Dae says.
“Okay. Any word from Mac yet?”
“Don’t worry about him,” Mama Dae says. “Do you not remember who you are in this? Do I need to remind you of your position?”
“No,” Declan says. “I’m just doing what I’m told, Mama.”
“That’s good. Now listen to me. We need to watch her father. Closely. I need to know how he’s taking it. What he’s doing. I need to know everything about him. It’s going to be a delicate balance here.”
“Her mother?” Declan asks.
“So far her nose is clean,” Mama Dae says. “But, you know, money buys some damn good makeup to cover up the shit…”
Declan laughs. “Got it. I’ve already given my opinion on the parents.”
“Meaning what?”
“You know, that I’ll check them out.”
“Why would you do that?” Mama Dae yells.
“If I don’t, someone else will,” Declan says. “Who knows how locked up tight her father is, right? One little slip…”
“Okay,” Mama Dae says. “I don’t like it. But I understand it. You ask the simple questions. You look sad. You act pissed. You can’t believe you have to ask parents such questions.”
“I’ll play it perfectly,” Declan says. “Trust me, I’m good at lying.”
“That you are,” Mama Dae says. “Now, listen, here, take something to eat. I’ll make you something to go. Don’t argue with me over it.”
“I never would,” Declan says. “Your cooking is everything.”
“Don’t fucking forget it either,” Mama Dae says.
I stand up and walk back to my bedroom.
I miss Mac
.
My heart feels heavy.
I sit down on the bed and grab for the burner cell.
I flip it open and stare at the screen.
If I call Violet… just to tell her I’m okay… but make her swear she won’t say a word…
I shake my head.
I can’t do that yet.
Not until more of this plays out.
I put the phone down and I crawl back into bed.
The light is on in the bathroom and I don’t mind it.
I can use a little light.
I know when I shut my eyes I’m going to go back to that nightmare.
Which is so stupid.
There’s no reason to have that nightmare.
Mama Dae feeds me more than I’m used to eating. I’m actually nervous about gaining weight. But you can’t tell her no when it comes to food.
She’s not afraid to tell me stuff either.
She has a clear line of what I can and cannot know.
Nobody can hurt me here.
Nobody can find me.
I try to bite my fingernails but that doesn’t work.
I shut my eyes and roll to the other side of the bed.
I try breathing.
I try counting sheep.
My last resort is to find substance.
I can find something to drink.
Or maybe I can find a pill or something else.
“No,” I whisper.
I can’t go down that road.
So that means I’m wide awake.
Wide awake and waiting…
I keep my breathing calm.
That’s most important.
I do shut my eyes at some point but I don’t actually sleep.
I’m half awake.
I’m alert enough to hear the bedroom door open.
My heart instantly begins to pound.
I want to shake but I tell myself not to.
I have to stay calm.
There’s noise in the bedroom.
Noise in the bathroom.
Noise back in the bedroom.
Then the bed moves a little.
I swallow hard.
I hand touches my shoulder and I’m pulled to my back.
I look up.
“You’re here,” I whisper.
“Of course I am, sweetie,” Mac says.
He smiles and then kisses me.
I wake in the morning and stare at Mac for a few seconds.
I don’t even breathe.
I just stare at him.
Just to capture the moment between us. The only sense of calm that ever seems to happen anymore.
Of course, if you’re in my shoes, this feels like a lifetime already. In reality, it’s not that long at all. And, again, I’m completely safe.
I’m fine.
This is just my part in Mac’s wild life.
What started out as me learning a few things here and there turned into me helping with the business with that black bag on the beach and it now turned into me faking my own kidnapping.
All to get to the truth.
I’m not totally sure what that truth is, but at the end of the day (or night) at least I know Mac will slide his arms around me, hug me, love me, hold me, kiss me… and plenty more.
I inch forward and kiss his chest.
He still smells like last night.
Crime has its own smell. It’s a mixture of boldness with a touch of fear. It’s intoxicating and addicting to be around.
Mac starts to stir and when he opens his eyes, he moves right for me.
His lips crash to mine.
Hard.
His kisses are fast and he moves his body on top of mine.
My hands grab at the muscles of his back.
He moves himself so he’s between my legs.
A second later, I feel a warm pressure… yeah, that kind of pressure…
I break the kiss and put my head back. My nails scratch at his skin as he takes me in the morning.
My toes curl against the sheets as I pull my body toward him, wanting everything.
Mac gives me everything.
His mouth kisses from my neck to my chest with speed.
His tongues swirls and flirts from one breast to the other.
The lower half of his body moves with more speed by the second.
My hands slide from his back to the bed.
I grip the covers and lower my head just as Mac begins to kiss back up my body.
His mouth meets mine again and I let go of the covers and grab for his messy, greasy hair.
I kiss him as hard as he kisses me.
I groan into his mouth. He grunts into mine.
I’m not sure there’s a better way to start a morning.
If there is, let me know.
Because I’m good with this.
We kiss until Mac moves down to my neck. His tongue flirts with my skin.
My body suddenly reaches its breaking point.
It catches me off guard that I gasp and run out of air and can’t find anymore.
I’m now hugging Mac again, pulling myself tight against him.
He slides a hand to the middle of my back and holds me as my hips jerk forcefully.
I keep my eyes open as I finish.
The room dances and spins with the thrusts from his strong body.
When I finally find the ability to breathe again, I let out a gasping moan.
It’s loud enough that Mac reaches up and puts a hand over my mouth.
He then looks at me.
My cheeks are burning hot.
He slides his hand away and we both smile.
My body won’t stop moving.
Wanting more…
Mac uses the pointer finger of his right hand and traces along my lips.
I kiss his finger.
He thrusts harder than ever and I gasp again.
Mac puts both hands to my back and holds me.
He buries his face into my chest again and doesn’t stop until he’s done.
Which means I get to finish again… with him…
There’s a moment when time feels frozen.
It’s like jumping off a cliff. And you’re sailing through the air. Waiting to hit the water below. Thinking a million thoughts. And then you hit the water and it’s just silence.
Mac is still gently moving though.
Inching back and forth.
Our heartbeats race one another.
Mine is beating way faster though…
Mac brushes his lips to mine one more time.
“Good morning, sweetie,” he whispers.
“Good morning to you,” I say.
“I’m going to grab a shower. Why don’t you go downstairs and get some coffee and some breakfast?”
“That’s everything I’ve ever wanted to do,” I say.
Mac stares at me for a few seconds before leaving the bed.
I sit up and watch him go into the bathroom and shut the door.
I grab some clothes and work my way downstairs.
I feel half asleep and floating as I work my way to the kitchen.
Mama Dae is standing there, already hard at work making breakfast.
“Morning, Jolie,” she says to me.
“Morning,” I say. “Can I help with anything?”
As Mama Dae turns, the door opens.
In walks Les and Taz.
3
MAC
I shower alone because I need the time alone.
Yeah, I love Jolie. Yeah, I want to spend every second with her. Believe me, there’s nothing more I want in my life right now than that. But I can see the look in her eyes. I’m not an idiot. I know this is hurting her. I know it’s driving her crazy to be stuck in Mama’s house this way. And I can’t give her a timeline because we don’t have one.
We need to find out everything about her father. And we need to make sure of her mother.
There’s something about that money her father had in his drawers…
&
nbsp; In hindsight, I should have just grabbed all of that cash when I had the chance. We just wanted to send a message. But if we took the cash, then the truth would have come right to Mama’s front door.
And that’s a fight worth having.
But I can’t go back in time.
I can only go forward.
I finish my shower and go into the bedroom.
The covers are a mess.
That makes me grin.
I can’t get enough of Jolie.
I’ve unlocked her desires…
I reset my mind and focus.
That means getting dressed, grabbing my cigarettes and phone, and heading downstairs.
I hear laughter in the kitchen.
That’s a sense of peace and comfort for me.
Jolie is in the middle of it all, as always.
Mama stands with a pancake flipper at Taz’s nose.
“Tell me again to flip the pancakes, Taz,” she warns.
“I would never do that, Mama,” Taz says. “Ever.”
Mama looks at me. “Look who showed up.”
“We knew there would be a big meal,” Les says. “And we wanted to check on Jolie.”
I look at Jolie and wink.
She’s holding a cup of coffee, one eyebrow raised at me.
Her hair is a sleepy-sex mess that makes me want to take her back upstairs.
“And we wanted to talk about what happened yesterday,” Les says.
I look at Les and curl my lip.
“What’s there to talk about?” Mama asks as she goes back to making food.
I take a step toward Les and Taz puts his forearm to my chest and shakes my head.
“There were a few issues,” I say as I stare at Les. “Just minor things. Details.”
“I don’t like to hear that,” Mama says. “Everyone go sit down. I’ll be there in a few.”
Taz tries to keep Les and I apart.
But Les isn’t afraid of me and I’m not afraid of him.
That leaves Taz rubbing his forehead as Les and I almost go nose to nose.
“Is this really what you want to fucking do, bro?” I whisper to Les.
“You know what needs to be done,” Les whispers back.
He walks around me.
I grit my teeth.
Jolie hurries toward me and reaches up and touches my neck.
“What is it?” she whispers.
“Nothing,” I whisper to Jolie.
We walk to the table.
Now before anyone else’s head start spinning, the fake kidnapping had to be done a certain way. That means… those who need to know, know. Those who don’t, don’t.
Mess Us Up (Brooks Crest Book 3) Page 2