The fact that she still thinks I’m kidnapped means my father didn’t come home after our confrontation.
Which means…
I run toward my mother and hug her.
She hugs me back.
We both start blubbering.
I’m trying to tell her I love her. But I can’t get the words out.
She’s trying to say something to me and I can’t figure out what it is.
“Jolie,” she whispers. “My Jolie… Jolie…”
I break away from her. “Mom… I’m fine. How are you?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I have to be dreaming right now, right?”
“No. I’m really here.”
“Oh, I know you’re here. I’m glad you finally showed up.”
“I wanted to-”
“Your father told me everything,” she says.
Oh.
I suck in a breath and hold it.
“Everything,” she says.
“Mom… when you say everything…”
“I mean everything,” she says. “What happened to you, Jolie?”
“What happened to me?” I ask. “Forget about me. What about you? What he did to you. All these years. Lying. Cheating. Gambling. He’s in debt, Mom. He owes so much money… to people… dangerous people…”
“And you know this how?” she asks.
“I can’t tell you,” I say.
“You can’t tell me?” She laughs. “You can’t tell me…” She walks back to the counter and grabs her wine glass. “That’s where we are at? You can’t tell me? You can’t talk to me?”
“Please, just understand,” I say. “I’m finally doing what I want with my life.”
“Oh, well, good for you,” she says. “You’re doing what you want with your life. Which is, by the way, throwing it all away.”
I’m shocked. I swallow hard. “Really?”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing out there, Jolie,” she says. “You suddenly want to quit law school? You disappear… and then actually disappear for real. The fucking police were here!”
My mother’s voice echoes through the kitchen.
She shakes her head and takes another sip of wine.
I know I’m in a position where anything she says she’s probably going to be right.
But it’s not going to change me. Who I am now. What I want to do with my life.
And it’s not going to change the fact that her husband - my father - is a dirty scumbag cheater.
She turns her back to me.
I slowly catch my breath and inch toward her.
“He’s in serious trouble, Mom,” I say. “Whether you know that or not.” I swallow hard. “I actually need to know…”
“You need to know what?” she asks.
“Will you look at me?” I snap.
My mother turns her head. “Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“He’s in trouble,” I say again. “This isn’t legal trouble either. His master plan was to send me to law school so I could bail him out… it wouldn’t help him even if I followed through. The trouble he’s in goes way beyond the law.”
“And, again, how do you know this?”
“Just tell me whether you really knew or not about him…”
My chin quivers.
My mind is starting to realize just how serious this conversation has become.
And the fact that I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d be having this conversion with my own mother.
She finishes her wine and walks around to the opposite end of the counter to get the bottle.
She pours another glass.
Then she looks at me. “Should I offer you one? I mean, you’re in control of your life, right? You just do what you want, right?”
“I’m not a child anymore,” I say. “I haven’t been for a long time.”
“And this revelation hit you… let me guess… because of a guy, right?”
“Answer my question first.”
My mother laughs. “I don’t have to tell you anything, Jolie. But I suddenly feel like you’re here not as my daughter. You’re here to threaten me. To warn me. And then I wonder just who you are right now…”
“I’m the same person,” I say. “Just able to see a little better now. I’m just hoping my mother isn’t the same as my father. Secret money. Secret plane tickets to Hawaii. To take Tanya…”
My mother’s face drops.
Then she smiles again.
She lifts her wine glass and sips it.
She puts it back down.
“Wait a second,” she says. “You’ve been missing. You were kidnapped. At least that’s what I was told. But now you’re here…”
She walks toward me and hugs me.
It’s a big hug.
I can feel her body quivering.
She’s crying.
She doesn’t want me to see her crying either.
So I hold her.
I think about what to say next.
Before I can say a word, I see movement.
And then there’s a man at the sliding glass doors.
I gasp and push my mother back.
My first instinct is to reach for a gun.
Who are you, Jolie?
I don’t have a gun though.
So my mind tells me to grab the wine glass and break it…
I point and when my mother looks back, the man at the sliding door opens it.
My mother laughs.
The stranger steps into the house.
He’s shirtless. Built like he’s on his way to a bodybuilding competition. Wearing black sunglasses with slicked back black hair. Tattoos on his boulder sized shoulders.
Walking with swagger right toward my mother.
I grab for my mother’s arm but she shakes me away and moves toward the man.
Then comes the surprise of a lifetime as she reaches up and touches the man’s face. The man grabs her by the waist. He picks her up and kisses her.
Lips on lips.
My mother and another man.
Right in front of me.
My face feels like it’s eight hundred degrees.
He puts my mother down and she turns to look at me. She looks like she’s blushing. She touches her lips and shrugs her shoulders.
I turn and walk out of the kitchen.
I’m done here.
I make it to the front door before I hear my mother call my name.
I stop and turn.
She’s racing toward me.
“That’s Bullet,” she says.
“What?”
“Bullet.”
“His name is Bullet?”
“Yeah,” my mother says. “He’s for protection.”
“And how exactly do you pay him?”
“Is my love life any of your business?”
“So Dad cheats on you and you cheat on him?” I ask.
“Listen to me, Jolie. Whatever your father has done, I knew nothing about. Ever. Okay? I knew he gambled here and there. I knew he had side business deals here and there. I never for a second thought they were anything bad. I have no idea how much trouble he’s in. He told me everything… but I’m sure it’s not everything. So my question to you is are you tied into this?”
“No,” I say.
“Then get away from it,” my mother says. “Right now.”
“Excuse me?”
“This guy that you’re with… fine. He’s tough and he’s bad. But he’s not the one worth throwing your life away for.”
“Says the woman who was just tongue fucking a chunk of muscle.”
My mother shakes her head. “I know my position here. I know what I’m doing.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning why not?” she asks. “And this isn’t about me. This is about you. You’re going to mess up your entire life, Jolie.”
“It already is messed up… because of you.”
“That hurt.” My mother sighs.
“You’re not going to do this.”
“Do what?”
“You’re not going to live this kind of life. Coming here to threaten me? Pretending to be kidnapped? Getting involved with your father’s dirty secrets? Dropping out of law school?”
“It’s all about finding the truth,” I say. “That’s what I wanted. That’s what I got.”
“The truth… okay, Jolie. Here’s the truth for you then. You’re going to make a choice.”
“Oh yeah? Says who?”
“Me,” my mother says. Her face becomes serious and somber. “This isn’t the life I want and I’ll change that. But for you, Jolie, for my daughter, there’s no way this can happen. There’s a difference between fun and danger. This is beyond fun. And it’s beyond danger.”
“What’s the choice, Mom?” I ask.
“Here or there,” she says.
“Here or there?”
“Jolie, I’m not living this life,” she says. “I’m not. Your father is figuring out his next move and then that’s it. No more of this life. That includes Bullet, for the record. And that includes… you. And the guy you’re with. Here or there.”
“You want me to choose between you and Mac?”
My mother nods. “You can be smart or stupid here, Jolie. It’s up to you.”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe you. Everything that’s happened and you’re doing this now? I came here to check on you. To make sure you were okay. I couldn’t stop thinking about what you must have been feeling. That your husband was involved with gambling, debts, in trouble, and cheating. And this is what you do to me?”
“It’s called being a mother,” she says. “I’m protecting you.”
“Protecting me… right. What about all these years of Dad pushing me in a direction I maybe never wanted to go?”
“That’s different,” she says. “You were always smart and destined for something great. Law school was that. You would have done great things. And you still can, Jolie. You can still go back. Make this right. Fix everything.”
“Fix what?” I ask.
“Yourself. Get yourself back to the Jolie we all love.”
I feel like she’s twisting my heart. I kind of understand what she means though.
I swallow hard.
“No,” I whisper.
“No?”
“No,” I say. “I’m not sorry either.”
I turn and open the door.
When I step outside, my mother comes after me.
“Jolie,” she says. “I’m being serious. This is it. You leave… then you’re leaving for good…”
“I know,” I say.
I walk down the large front steps of the house toward my car.
My car had been parked at my apartment the entire time I was fake kidnapped. I don’t know why that hits me right then… but it just does. Everything hits me at once. All that’s happened. And why.
In a way, none of this is my mother’s fault, yet I’m walking away from her.
But she’d already started to walk away from me first.
I’m losing everything just to gain Mac.
And I can’t stop myself from doing it.
I can’t imagine not having him.
I can imagine never seeing my parents again.
And I’m not sure what’s right or wrong or up or down anymore…
I get into my car and drive away.
I find Taz waiting in his truck for me.
When he sees me, he nods.
I drive by him.
I fight back the tears.
I’m doing what I want and need for myself.
17
MAC
I finish my cigarette as I grab for the door handle to Mama’s house.
When I open the door and smell food, it brings a smile to my face.
Mama turns around, a spoon in one hand, a gun in the other.
I show my hands. “Don’t shoot or smack me.”
“Mac,” she says. “You startled me.”
“What’s on the menu?”
“I’m finishing up a chicken,” she says. “I’ve been roasting it slowly for hours. The trick is to get the skin crispy but the body juicy.”
“Sounds like most of the girls I’ve fooled around with,” I say.
Mama shakes her head. “Where’s Jolie? I miss her.”
“You miss her?”
“Of course I do.”
“I thought she was a pain in the ass.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Mac, and I still want to see you.”
I laugh. “Good point. Jolie is, uh, talking to her mother right now.”
“Oh?”
“Handling some personal issues,” I say. “Her mother is in the clear of everything. So Jolie is trying to navigate what happens next. Her father is a real piece of shit.”
“We know that.”
“He cleaned up that cash, Mama. He put it all away in the drawers again. And he got himself two plane tickets. One for him… one for his mistress.”
“How do you know all of this, Mac?” Mama asks.
“Why don’t we sit down, Mama?” I ask. “We can talk.”
“I don’t want to sit down,” she says. “Don’t treat me like that, Mac.”
“Okay. Sorry. I just want to let you know we took care of Jeff. Jolie’s cover is blown. Which is good. It needed to be done. I took the cash from the drawers and Jolie gave it to him. That really scared the hell out of him. He’s not any kind of leader either. He’s working for someone. Probably debt related too. So whatever has to happen next…”
“You did that without telling me?” Mama asks.
“I saw an opening and I took it,” I say. “Jolie was losing her mind here. Then what happened with her sneaking out and the police showing up… it was getting risky, Mama.”
“That’s my decision to make.”
“I understand that,” I say. “There’s other decisions too…”
“Meaning?”
Mama puts the gun down on the counter. You know, just the normal stuff there… a spoon, some garlic, a gun.
This is my normal.
“You were are the doctors,” I say.
Mama quickly turns around.
“I’ll kill her,” she says.
“No you won’t,” I say.
“Mac…”
“Talk to me,” I yell.
Mama slowly turns. “Talk to you. About what? It seems you already know everything.”
“What I know is that I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to you. I don’t want you to get hurt. I also don’t want anyone I know to get hurt either.”
“So that’s why you just went and did your own thing, right?”
“No,” I say. “I saw the chance, Mama. You know you gave us the wrong color of the SUV. And then the wrong time to get to Jeff that first time. Whatever it was, it’s done and over with. You were focused here on Jolie. Protecting her. And you did your job. So I took a play from your book and did my own thing. And it worked.”
“You did it because of me,” she says. “Because you think I can’t focus enough. You think I’m losing my mind. You think I’m going to forget things. Right?”
I swallow hard.
She’s getting pissed and defensive.
I turn and put my hands to the counter.
I look out the window and take a deep breath.
“There’s something I have to give to you.”
“Great,” she says. “What now, Mac? Do you have a room picked out for me at an old folks home already? Right? Ship my ass out the door?”
I turn my head and feel like I could cry.
We both know the ending to this. We both know Mama isn’t going to get better. We both know she’s only going to get worse. We both know everything she’s saying… is true.
And for her, she just wants it all to happen now.
She would rather die right now in front of me than suffer for years, forgetting everything and everyone, waiting to die.
/>
“I love you, Mama,” I whisper. “I’ll never give up on you. I’ll never stop being a pain in your ass. No matter how mad you get at me.”
That finally gets her to be quiet for a few seconds.
“I have to tell you something else,” I say.
“Okay,” she says. “I’m listening. Hopefully I remember it.”
“Why would you say that?” I ask.
Mama’s face looks as serious as I have ever seen it in my life.
“Because, Mac, I am losing my fucking mind.”
I let the comment slide because of what it made me feel.
I look forward again out the window.
“This is serious,” I say to Mama. “It’s about the crew.”
“What about them?” she asks. “Does everyone know about me by now?”
“Look, you know what happened with Les and Taz. They saw it, Mama. And Raf and Aric can’t be left in the dark.”
“You left out a name,” she says.
“I left out a name for a reason,” I say. “I left him out of knowing about you. I left him out of knowing about Jolie too. I tried my best with him. I’ve gone as far as I can here.”
“Care to elaborate?” Mama asks.
I turn and grit my teeth. “Jolie and Ado caught each other.”
“Caught what?”
“Ado didn’t know Jolie wasn’t really kidnapped. We all played along. I had Jolie over at the warehouse. Just to change things up for her. It worked out. She caught Ado stealing money.”
Mama looks away for a second.
I keep talking.
“His mother is dying of cancer,” I say. “He’s been pushing at me for money because he wants her to get treatments. My understanding is she doesn’t even want the treatments. That really doesn’t matter here though. I noticed the cash was a little off and Ado blamed Taz for it. We all know Taz would never fuck around with the cash. But sometimes he gets distracted. So maybe it was a one-time fuck up. I kept it in the back of my mind though. Then Jolie caught Ado. Like I said, they caught each other. Ado knew she wasn’t kidnapped. He subtly threatened her. She told me what happened and I played it off. I mean, to Ado. He thinks I’m the only one who knew Jolie isn’t kidnapped. I don’t know what he thinks or knows right now with her being able to do what she wants. It’s a little messy on that end, Mama.”
I look at her.
“Messy is the right word,” she says.
Mess Us Up (Brooks Crest Book 3) Page 16