by Nadia Lee
“You remember how you said how that silly forty-hour work I was doing was more important than it looked?”
“Yeah…”
“What made you say that?”
He shrugged. “I heard rumors that the work had something to do with Sterling & Wilson. A couple of the secretaries were talking about it.”
The latte sat like poison in her belly. “The secretaries know too?”
“Well, it’s just a rumor. But yeah, they’re plugged in. All the work they do for the partners.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe this.” Her cheeks flushed as humiliation mixed with anger.
“Why are you so upset?”
“Do you know why I wanted to keep my marriage to Justin quiet?” She didn’t wait for a response. “I didn’t want it to affect my career at the firm. Justin knew that too, but he hired Highsmith, Dickson and Associates anyway, and I’m sure the partners figured out there was something between us.” Highsmith hadn’t become head of the firm by being slow. “When I’m offered a partnership, I want it to be because I’m good at what I do, not because I’m married to Justin Sterling!”
“People knowing who your husband is doesn’t make you a bad lawyer all of a sudden.”
“No, but the—”
“Vanessa, hey. Calm down. Nobody makes partner in only ten years these days. And if you do, it’ll be because the firm expects you to pull in enough business to justify that decision.”
“It’s just business? That’s what you’re saying?”
“Well, yeah. It’s okay to use family connections for that. People hire people they like.”
She choked back a hysterical laugh. She couldn’t even use her family name anymore because she wasn’t a real Pryce. Salazar wouldn’t hire her firm, no matter what, and now it became clear why he’d warned her about that before.
Felix was giving her a shrewd look. “Are you sure there isn’t another reason why you’re upset about people knowing about your marriage?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do people keep their relationships secret? Like us, when we were dating.”
“It would’ve been awkward if people knew, especially since we were dating casually. It wasn’t serious.”
“Exactly.” Felix smiled, a tinge of nostalgia in the curve of his lips. “We didn’t want everyone to know when our relationship ended. So what about your marriage? It’s not like getting hitched to somebody like Justin Sterling is a badge of shame. My guess is you didn’t want anybody to know in case you went your separate ways.”
“You do the pop psychology thing as a sideline?”
“You don’t believe me?”
“Felix, there’s no way our divorce would stay quiet.”
“If you can marry somebody like him in secret, you can divorce him the same way.” Felix finished his cappuccino. “And mock me all you like, but the fact is, everyone wants to keep their failures hidden from the world. You’re a smart woman, Vanessa. Be honest with yourself.”
Vanessa reached for her latte and held it like a shield. Honesty scared her; it usually told her something she’d rather not know. Sometimes illusions were better for one’s peace of mind.
Except now it was too late.
Chapter Twenty-Three
After Vanessa walked out, Justin spent a few fruitless minutes trying to figure out what was bugging her, then gave it up as hopeless. Instead, he got in his car and drove to a downtown hotel lobby.
He checked his watch as he walked in. Right on time. A woman who matched the photo Pattington had sent was seated in a plush leather armchair that seemed to swallow her slim frame.
She wasn’t gorgeous the way Vanessa was. If it hadn’t been for Ceinlys’s admission, he would never have guessed that this woman was related to his wife. Peggy had shaggy brown hair, styled with care and wax. Her features were even and pretty, but not exceptional enough to stand out. Still, she seemed to fit in with the luxury marbled surroundings somehow.
She got up when she noticed him. “Thank you so much,” she said. “I know you’re a busy man. And sorry about the venue, but I wanted to make it quick before I have to get back to my mother.”
“I thought you were living with a boyfriend.”
“Wow. You were thorough, weren’t you? We broke up yesterday, and I moved out.”
They sat down, taking two chairs near a hotel phone.
“So. What is this meeting about?” he asked.
“I just wanted to say thanks. And I’m curious about the man my half-sister married.”
“There are more than a few profiles and articles about me.” He kept his voice matter-of-fact. The first thing he’d learned was that people rarely wanted to see him just for shits and giggles.
“All carefully edited to help you maintain an image. I know how the media game is played.” Her gaze roamed his clothes, shoes, watch, haircut, giving him the uncomfortable but familiar sensation of being catalogued for assets. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? That she and I are related?”
“You can always take a paternity test if you’re so astounded,” he said somewhat unkindly. She could try all she wanted, but he wasn’t giving her anything more. If it hadn’t been for her cancer patient mom, she would’ve gotten nothing.
“That won’t be necessary,” Peggy said finally with a smile that felt oddly empty.
Enough of this. “Have you contacted my assistant?”
“Yes. She said everything’s been taken care of.”
“Then it looks like our business is concluded.” He stood up.
“I’ll walk with you. I’m leaving too anyway.”
They went out together. In front of the main door, she turned to him. “This means the world to me. You didn’t have to help.”
“It’s been my pleasure.”
Placing a hand on his cheek, she rose on her toes and kissed him. “Thank you and good-bye. You know, when I first came to L.A. to try and get help from Ceinlys, and then Vanessa, I thought it was sort of unfair. They have this great life, and my mom’s sick with cancer. But I see that maybe that’s not the case. Vanessa’s good fortune became mine.”
Not much to say to that. He rubbed the back of his neck as it tingled suddenly.
Peggy laughed, breaking eye contact. “If you’re ever in Utah, look me up. Bring Vanessa too if you like.” Then she climbed into a waiting taxi.
* * *
Easing up on the gas, Vanessa blinked, then stole another glance in the rearview mirror. The man was definitely Justin, the woman now gone in the taxi.
Why was he meeting Peggy alone at a hotel? And unless Vanessa was mistaken, Peggy had kissed him.
The car behind honked, and Vanessa accelerated. Justin hadn’t said anything about going out or meeting Peggy. He’d said he was having her investigated, but if everything had checked out, he should’ve told Vanessa…shouldn’t he?
An old image of her father coming out of a hotel with one of his many mistresses flashed in her mind. The blonde had kissed her father’s cheek chastely, like somehow the gesture would hide the fact that they’d been in a room, screwing each other’s brains out. Vanessa had been too young to understand, but she supposed everyone else had…and had pitied her as a result.
Suddenly the dam she’d used to contain her doubts burst, and she started shaking. There were so many things that had gone wrong. By now, her firm probably fully expected her to bring the Sterling & Wilson business. And everyone knew about her marriage to Justin, so anyone who’d seen him with Peggy just now would probably start talking about her now the way they had her mother. And the baby…
She put a hand on her belly. Would it have the same kind of awkward and emotionally lonely childhood she’d had? Would she wind up like her mother, having more and more children, first to ensure her husband didn’t stray, then to fill the enormous hole left by his inattention?
Maybe she should’ve never told Justin about the baby. Then none of this would’ve happened.
/> Tears filled her eyes, and she wiped them away impatiently. This wasn’t like her. She didn’t cry like a little girl at the prospect of trouble. She’d find a way around it or over it…or through it if she had to.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Stopping at a red light, she put on a headset and dialed Justin.
“Hey, Vanessa,” he said, his voice washing over her like warm caramel.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“On my way home.” He paused. “Are you downtown? If so, we can eat out.”
She tried to think of a way to approach the matter delicately, but couldn’t. “Did you have the firm put me on a restricted work schedule?”
There was a short pause. “Vanessa, it’s not like that.”
“Okay. Did you get an update on Peggy?”
“Yes. She checked out. So I’m going to pay for her mother’s cancer treatment. It’s not that much money anyway.”
And how did she thank you? Vanessa swallowed the question. “That’s generous of you. Even more generous to see her in person to do it.”
Another pause. “She wanted to thank me in person, that’s all.”
“Mmm. And you had to meet at a hotel to do that?”
“Are you accusing me of something?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. Just wondering.”
“Vanessa, nothing happened.” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “Don’t you trust me?”
“It’s hard to trust you when you did something behind my back and didn’t tell me. Like an idiot, I even complained to you about my work.”
“I didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“So if you don’t know how I’ll take something, you can lie about it? Tell me this then: How do you think I’d take it if you told me you cheated on me?”
He cursed. “I’m not going to pay for your father’s sins. Do you understand? I’m not him. The fact that you’re even thinking that I’d break my vow to you is an insult to my character. You’re being insecure and unreasonable.”
Blood rushed through her, roaring in her ears. She could barely hear what he was saying. “I’m neither insecure nor unreasonable. Don’t try to make it sound like I’m just being a hormonal woman.”
“You are. You’re always looking for reasons not to fully commit to anything because you’re afraid. Guess what? I’m tired of your waffling. When you walked out on me in February, I put myself on a detox program to forget you because it’s not possible to be with a woman like that.”
Vanessa’s jaw locked. He meant a woman like her. The only reason why he’d ever wanted her was the baby.
The precious heir to the Sterling & Wilson fortune.
Justin continued, “How can I carry the relationship by myself when you won’t open up? When you want to treat it like some shameful thing? I have to be in an airplane accident for you to—”
Suddenly she heard a loud, continuous honk to her left. Her head swiveled. A huge black SUV was coming toward her. It was slowing down, but it wouldn’t be quick enough.
Panic surged in her veins. Blood roared, and she raised her arm like somehow she could block the steel doom.
The impact of metal slamming into metal shook her like a rag doll. Glass shattered. Her arm snapped back and hit her in the face; her headset flew off her ear.
Pain seared through her. Then she drowned in black.
* * *
Everything was hazy, drowned in blinding light. There was the scent of disinfectants and bodies. People were shouting. Their voices sounded professional, authoritative.
Vanessa wanted to close her eyes again, but she couldn’t. She wanted Justin with her right then and there, but he might not come, not after she’d accused him of cheating on her with Peggy.
Why had she reacted that way? She’d seen how easy it would be to lose him when his plane crashed in San Francisco. But instead of cherishing every moment together, she’d lived in fear of losing him—if not to an accident, then to another woman. He’d been right to accuse her of being insecure and unreasonable. And he shouldn’t have to pay for Salazar’s mistakes.
The gurney rattled, vibrating under her. Her face throbbed, and her chest and stomach felt like they’d been punched repea—
Her stomach.
The baby!
A sour tang of panic filled her mouth and throat. She couldn’t lose the baby. It hadn’t even had a chance at life.
Tears wet her eyelashes. It had to be her fault she was losing the baby. Instead of being grateful for the miracle, she’d questioned it, fretted over it and wondered if she truly wanted the responsibility of motherhood. She felt like she was being punished for those doubts. Why did it have to come to this before she realized what she really wanted?
She raised her hand. “My baby…” The words were barely a whisper.
“It’s all right. We got you. Just relax,” a nurse said, her voice more efficient than soothing.
No, they didn’t get anything. Vanessa couldn’t relax. Fear surged in her heart even as her grip on consciousness faded, and she slipped back into the dark.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Justin buried his face in his hands, willing it to be a bad dream. Vanessa’s three brothers, the two fiancées and Ceinlys sat with him. Nobody said anything.
The hospital smelled too much of chlorine and alcohol. Underneath was a stench of despair. The nurses and doctors were brisk and efficient, but their workmanlike competence did nothing to soothe his shock or calm his panic.
He’d been frustrated with Vanessa, and having her accuse him of something he hadn’t done had frayed his temper. But the possibility that his harsh words might’ve had something to do with the accident ate at him. If she’d been one hundred percent focused on driving, maybe she would’ve noticed the SUV sooner and done something to avoid it. The cops hadn’t said much except that the driver had been texting and run a red light.
“She’s going to be okay,” Iain said.
“You didn’t see her when they brought her in.” Justin had only a glimpse of her bloodied and abused body. She looked half-dead.
“A lot of times it looks worse than it is,” Iain said, “especially if there’s blood. See it with fights all the time. But she’ll probably be okay. This is a great hospital, and the doctors are excellent.”
“Here, have some coffee,” said Jane. “It might help.”
He took it gratefully and sipped the strong dark brew. It didn’t do much to warm his cold inside, but it was nice to hold onto something so he wouldn’t tear out his hair. “She’s pregnant, you know,” he said.
“Did they say anything about the baby?” Ceinlys said, her voice thin. Her face was pinched and pale, and her lipstick had worn off, leaving her lips bare and grayish pink.
“No.” Justin forced his hands to relax around the coffee cup. He’d give anything to keep her and their baby safe. But his mind whispered money wouldn’t be able to solve this problem. It hadn’t been a lack of money that had killed his father. Just a careless teenage driver who was too busy fooling with his new GPS to pay attention to what he was doing. The kid had survived, but Justin’s father hadn’t.
Justin rose, unable to sit still anymore while morbid possibilities swirled in his mind. This wasn’t like him. He never obsessed about all the what ifs. That was one of the biggest reasons why Barron had decided to groom him as his heir.
“Lemme know if you hear anything,” Justin said. “I need to—”
Iain stood. “I’ll go with you.”
Justin nodded, and they walked along the linoleum-covered hall together, their shoes clicking. Another group of harried looking staff rushed past them, and Justin paused and stared at their disappearing backs. Were they going that way because Vanessa was getting worse?
“She should be okay,” Iain said. “She’s a fighter.”
“She was bloody. Soaked in it.” Justin realized his hands were shaking, and he clenched them.
“I’m telling you, tha
t can be anything. Maybe she cut herself during the accident. She needs you to be strong.”
“We were arguing when she got hit.”
They resumed walking.
“Do you love her?” Iain asked quietly, then raised a hand. “No, don’t tell me. But if the answer isn’t a hundred percent yes, let her go. Don’t end up like my parents. They have a fucked-up marriage, no other way to say it. Big waste of a couple of lives. They could’ve been happier if they hadn’t stayed together for the kids.” He blew out a breath. “Joint custody, right? What I’m saying is, you don’t have to lose the child just because you aren’t married to Vanessa.”
“Your parents really did a number on you guys, didn’t they?”
“They probably did what they thought was best. But it wasn’t always comfortable. And yeah, I’m sure it had something to do with the way we are. Everyone’s shaped by their parents.”
Justin said nothing. He knew all about Iain’s issues with his parents. All of the Pryce siblings had gone to extreme lengths to be a certain way. Mark had been a notorious playboy until he got engaged, Iain had been far too controlled, Shane had committed himself to a girl too soon only to drag his feet about the wedding and disappear, and Dane was an insensitive asshole. And Vanessa…she had married her career—like it was going to fill the void in her heart—and distanced herself from everything.
Just because she’d been raised in moneyed luxury didn’t mean she had the same advantages he did. She hadn’t had his stable family life and upbringing. He should have been more understanding. She was his wife.
And he loved her.
The awful things he’d said to her haunted him. His meeting Peggy like that had undoubtedly looked suspicious to Vanessa. He shook his head, angry at himself. I should’ve told her about Pattington’s report first, discussed what I was planning to do. Gotten her input, instead of being high-handed and expecting her to accept my decisions. He’d thought their marriage was doomed because she wouldn’t carry her weight, but it was his autocratic nature that was killing it.
* * *
Vanessa opened her eyes. The walls in her room were white…with scuff marks…and the air smelled of disinfectant underneath the heady scent of fresh flowers. Machines beeped and pinged, and the metal frame bed was…narrow.