Call Me Joe

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Call Me Joe Page 19

by Martin Van Es


  “How would you choose the questioners out of all the millions who would rush forward for such an opportunity?” Haki asked.

  “I would imagine there are a limited number of important questions that everyone would want to ask.” Simon was thinking it through as he talked. “We would need to ask people to put their questions in advance, via text maybe, and algorithms would then be able to work out which are the most popular questions and an interviewer would be able to ask them on behalf of all the people who sent them in. Would that be technically possible?”

  “Yes,” Lalit and Yung said simultaneously.

  For the next hour they passed ideas back and forth until they had outlined a rough idea of how the broadcast would be organised and Simon was tasked with the job of setting it up. The Prime Minister, grateful to at least have something positive to go back to her government colleagues with, glanced at her watch.

  “I have taken up far too much of your valuable time,” she said, heading for the door, shaking the hands of each of the Twelve as she went and bowing low to kiss Joe’s hand. “Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help with the setting up of the interview.”

  Once she was gone, Yung invited Joe to sit down next to her.

  “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “That was not why we asked you back today. We did not realise she was going to make a surprise visit like that. I did not feel that we could turn her away since we are relying so much on the hospitality of her country.”

  “I don’t think we should turn anyone away,” Joe agreed.

  “Well,” Yung laughed, “as she pointed out, that may now prove a little difficult in practice…”

  “So, why did you ask me back?”

  “Now that you are here on Earth to lead us in spreading the message of how imminent the extinction of mankind has become and how we can avoid it, we feel we should waste no time in deciding exactly what that message should be and what solutions we are offering. There are plenty of people pontificating out there about what is wrong with the world, very few are offering well thought-through solutions. The whole world is now listening to what you have to say and we can’t afford to let that opportunity slip past. We want to check with you that you agree with us on the changes that need to be made to human behaviour if mankind is going to survive the coming years. We also feel that we need to create a new set of guidelines for everyone to live by and we want to show that to you.”

  “You are thinking of replacing the Ten Commandments of Moses?” Joe asked.

  “Not just that. Every religion has its own version of those basic rules, with a few variations, but all of them were drawn up thousands of years ago. We believe we need to make them totally relevant to people today if we are hoping to persuade them to agree to abide by them. We also need them to be acceptable to every religious denomination.”

  “Rather than calling them ‘rules’ or ‘commandments’,” Lalit added, “we prefer to think of them as ‘guidelines’. They will be chosen for their ability to help people think about their behaviour and the behaviour they would want to see in others, and to agree on what is most important in life.”

  “Have you made a start on the list?” Joe asked and Yung handed him a wooden disc about two centimetres thick and more than forty centimetres in diameter.

  “This wood is from a monkey puzzle tree,” she said. “I have lasered the text of the twelve guidelines onto it. It seemed symbolic somehow.”

  Joe took it from her and read the first line. “Be kind.”

  “The Dalai Llama, Tenzin Gyatso, says ‘my religion is kindness’,” Yung explained. “Doesn’t it start there? Just to be kind. It costs nothing.”

  Joe nodded his agreement and read the next line. “Be honest.”

  “It may be a cliché,” Yung said, “but if you tell the truth you do not have to remember anything. Maybe you cannot always tell everything but what you do tell must be correct.”

  “What do you mean by ‘Know yourself’?”

  “The words are attributed, among others, to Socrates and stood on the pediment of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi; ‘Know Yourself’. Knowing others is intelligence, but knowing yourself is wisdom. We believe being honest towards yourself about your strengths, your weaknesses, your desires, your fears and your thoughts is the start for all personal growth. Self-knowledge is difficult but it is a great investment if you can train and coach others in how to achieve it.”

  “Do as you promise,” he read.

  “We should always think before we promise something because when you promise something you should do it. It is a good agreement between people to do so. If it really isn’t possible then tell the other person in time so that they can take it into account. Trust is fertile soil for further growth.”

  “‘Be modest’ is the next one,” Joe said.

  “People are all too often too demanding and assertive. Each person needs to consider how important they are in relation to the whole.”

  “Next we have ‘Work hard’.”

  “If you are lucky enough to be healthy and fit, you are also lucky enough to work hard to build a world, a society with others. It is also good to try to do what you enjoy and what you are good at, because then you are at your most productive, whether that is running a bank or bringing up children, farming the land or creating works of art.”

  Joe nodded and read out the next guideline. “Be tolerant.”

  “If every person at least tries to be open-minded and not to judge too quickly, the world will soon become much better. Just try to accept others as they are; we all have the same right to live on this planet, haven’t we?”

  “I agree,” Joe said. “The next one is ‘Try to forgive and say sorry’.”

  “There are so many conflicts where people think only in black or white, when we know that most of the time the truth lies in the grey areas. We need to be brave enough to be vulnerable and ask ourselves if we might not always be perfect and then to look the other person in the eye and say, ‘Sorry, I was wrong’. But if the other person is clearly in the wrong, can we forgive them? Releasing negativity sets you free. So we counsel people to try not to let the sun go down over their anger.”

  “Okay. How about ‘Help and share where possible’?”

  “We should all consider whether we can do more for other people, especially when we have a good life ourselves. It is almost a definition of love, don’t you think?”

  “I do indeed,” Joe smiled. “Treat nature like you treat the people you love.”

  “Most people are happy to do good for those they love. They want to take care of them. This guideline asks you to treat nature like you treat the people you love.”

  “Do not do to others, what you do not want them to do to you.”

  “When we tried to summarise the essence of most successful religions and philosophies of life in one rule, we came to the words that you used last time you were here; ‘Do not do to others, what you do not want them to do to you.’ It is the most eternal of truths.”

  “The next one is ‘Enjoy and be grateful’.”

  “This will never apply to everyone all the time, but we should all laugh, sing, dance, love, eat, drink, experience, learn, travel, discover, exercise, make jokes when we can. Yes, you are allowed to enjoy life. Just don’t hurt other people while doing so. And be happy and grateful.”

  He sat in silence for a moment, lost in thought, and then read the text to himself again. None of the Twelve interrupted him. Eventually he looked up at them and smiled.

  “I knew I was choosing the right people for this job,” he said. “They look perfect to me. Thank you, Yung. If all people could adopt these good intentions as the starting point for their behaviour, the field will be ripe for harvesting. And it would indeed help enormously if these guidelines were introduced in all education program
mes whether they are based on secular, religious or spiritual principles.”

  “So,” Lalit spoke up, “from that we moved on. Based on the SWOT analysis we told you about, we had almost decided that it would be impossible to find a way to save mankind. But now that we have you on board we believe it can happen. We are pretty sure that most people will try to follow the twelve guidelines when you ask them to. That will greatly help us to introduce an ambitious, social and just plan for a better world because the thoughts behind our plan will obviously be in line with the essence of the guidelines. If well-intentioned people do not make any decisions, then people with less good intentions will. The history of mankind has demonstrated that that is how it works.

  “So we asked ourselves: What would we do if we were in charge of the planet? Could we all agree on a master plan for mankind to live by? Is there a higher priority for mankind and its survival on Earth than to create a good, liveable world for all children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and their future descendents?

  “We believe the installation of a world government with a strong mandate would be effective, cost-saving and economically better than the protectionist nationalism that has evolved, as long as it is transparent and has no double agendas. In order to be effective, the essence of the plan should not be negotiable, but direct democracy via the internet can be organised so that all other matters can be decided in a democratic way with the press of a button on people’s phones.”

  “We would insist on the surrender of all weapons apart from a small residual supply which would remain in the hands of the UN,” Yung said.

  “And there would need to be a reform of the financial and monetary system,” Simon added, “limiting the amount of wealth individuals can stockpile. We would provide everyone with a basic income and they would need to accept the moral responsibility to work in exchange for that if they are able, with a cap on the highest salaries. We do not believe everyone should have the same income since we all need stimuli and money is an important one, but there has to be a radical levelling, plus the expropriation of crucial sectors and companies where necessary, such as genetic engineering, AI and the largest data companies in order to protect us.”

  “We wanted to keep the plan as simple as possible so everyone could understand it,” Lalit said, taking back the explanation. “We decided to use the number twelve again and we defined twelve agreements for mankind to live by, which pretty much reflect the seventeen Sustainable Development Goals for 2030 from the United Nations. We want to start with the eradication of poverty. It sounds ridiculously altruistic and unrealistic, but it isn’t.”

  “It’s become such a political cliché,” Tanzeel said, “and to a degree it is when politicians pay lip service to it when they are running for election, but then do nothing once they are in power. But mankind has already managed to raise billions of people from abject poverty over the last hundred years; we believe there is no reason not to bring everyone else up to the same standards. Look what they have achieved in China in just a few decades.”

  “And this includes eradicating hunger,” Sofia, a botanist from South America who had made a global reputation through studying ways in which plants could be developed to sustain a growing population. She and Sophie had already bonded over the possibilities of eradicating the use of meat by humans in the food chain. “There is no reason why anyone in the world should be hungry.”

  “Good health is another area where we have to reach an agreement,” Amelia spoke up. “Obviously I would say that, since I have dedicated my life to it. But if everyone was to agree on the steps that are needed to prevent the basic illnesses that soak up the majority of the time and the funds of the medical profession, we would then be free to concentrate on helping those with conditions that are not yet preventable. To a degree it is all about education.”

  “And that is where I have the most to say,” Salma took over. “I made my name fighting for equal educational opportunities for women, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want the same for men. We need everyone to agree on the importance of education before we can hope to achieve any of the other goals. Up till now it has been the educated elite making all the decisions for the uneducated masses. People who are trapped in ignorance can’t hope to move forward. With all the developments in communications technology there is now no reason why every child – and every adult for that matter – can’t receive a good education.”

  “Salma’s work in education is also linked to the need for an agreement on gender equality in all things,” Yung said, “not just education. There is no faster remedy for overpopulation than ensuring that every woman receives a good education and suitable work.”

  “We also think that contraceptives should be free of charge, by the way,” Amelia said.

  “The provision of clean water and sanitation to every individual on Earth is something else that we think everyone can agree on,” a Canadian voice that Joe was familiar with cut in. Tom Butcher was a primatologist and Sophie had played Joe several of Tom’s television documentaries, in which he was studying polar bears as they struggled to survive on shrinking ice caps.

  “You and I have already talked about the need to find affordable and clean energy sources,” Lalit reminded Joe, “with safe nuclear energy plants and thorium reactors as part of one strategy for the whole planet. We also want to link that with the provision of decent work for all those who are able to, with the aim of continuing economic growth, as long as it is not gained at the expense of any of our other goals. We do not believe in growth simply for its own sake; that is wasteful of everyone’s energies.”

  “But at the same time,” Haki interrupted, “we need to do something about the widening inequality between the haves and the have-nots.”

  “Isn’t that the same as eradicating poverty?” Joe asked.

  “Eradicating poverty is only half of the solution,” Haki explained. “We also have to find a way to curb the excesses of the rich, without disincentivising them too much. We need to make them want to contribute to the communal pot rather than always looking for ways to siphon off money which they don’t even need. We need to show why it is better to pay your fair share of taxes than buy a bigger yacht. Even if we manage to get rid of poverty, people will still be unhappy if they see that some people earn and consume way more than their fair share, which obviously includes a number of the people in this room.”

  “Not you and me, though Haki, eh?” Joe joked and the others laughed uneasily. “¡Viva la revolución!”

  “Okay,” Yung interrupted, showing no sign that she might be enjoying the joke. “We get it.”

  “We need also to have a plan for building a great many sustainable cities and communities” – Austin spoke quickly in an attempt to cover the moment of awkwardness – “which fits in with the idea of promoting responsible consumption and production.”

  “None of this means anything” – Minenhle sounded angry, her loud and sudden interruption making the others jump – “unless we fix the climate. If the world becomes too hot, the water will disappear and mankind, along with every other life form, will have disappeared off the planet before we have been able to implement any of these grand plans. Climate action is by far the most urgent priority.”

  “Even if we manage to halt climate change,” Ahmya, the oceanologist added, “we are still going to have to put in a great deal of work developing the possibilities for life both on and below water. If the oceans are rising and land is becoming scarcer and more crowded we will need to build some of Austin’s sustainable cities under water, or float them on the surface. We need to work out how to inhabit and farm the ocean beds effectively and sustainably.”

  “We also need to draw up a global legal structure,” Simon joined in, “building strong institutions which cannot be undermined by any rogue leaders, creating a partnership of shared goals that every single person on the planet can buy into
and vote for through their phones and computers.

  “We have a plan which is now ready to be activated, but there are still many vested interests amongst the existing leaderships in maintaining the status quo. That is why Yung’s husband is still in a cell somewhere in China and world leaders of every political persuasion are trying to discredit us, making out that we are just a bunch of idealists with no practical plan, now led by a ‘hippy healer’, as the President of America likes to refer to you, Joe. We have to show them that there is no option to these changes if the world is going to survive. If they don’t support us it will create tensions that will soon escalate into violence, or even full-scale war, between those who believe in the changes and those who want to resist them. They have to accept that this is a revolution that they can’t afford to ignore.”

  “I don’t think they are ignoring us any more,” Yung said quietly, “but there is still a very real danger they will try to silence us and buy themselves a little more time in power. It would seem that some of them would rather see the whole world destroyed than lose even a small fraction of the power and wealth they have managed to accrue. We need to continue protecting ourselves, Joe. It is very nice to think that we will one day be living in a world where we can trust everyone, where we do not need to lock and guard our gates, but that time has not yet come. The supporters of the status quo will be willing to use violence to silence us if they have a chance. That is for sure.”

  They all sat for a moment, contemplating the possible consequences of having the majority of the world’s most powerful people wanting to silence them as quickly as possible.

  “However many guards you surround yourselves with,” Joe said eventually, “they will find a way to destroy us if they want to. They have weapons that they will be willing to use, but we would not want to use weapons against them. So we have to have faith that they will not decide to do that. We have no choice. We are vulnerable in every way and must remain so, even to one another. I’ve told you before, one of you in this room will betray me…”

 

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