by Score, Lucy
***
They met Luke’s family at the base. The parking lot was packed with family members saying their good-byes. Harper tried not to stare at the bus in front of them. The bus that would take Luke Garrison forever from her life.
There wasn’t time to waste. The schedule had to be kept.
Luke, dressed in fatigues, stowed his pack on the bus and returned to them. Harper watched him walk down the line, hugging and shaking hands. Claire dragged him in for a long hug. “Come home safe,” she ordered.
“Don’t I always, Ma?”
He shook Charlie’s hand and gave James a resounding slap on his back. “Don’t forget to mow my lawn, lackey,” he reminded his brother.
“Don’t forget to come home to annoy the shit out of me.”
“Boys!” Claire censured them.
Luke moved on to Sophie and Josh, wrapping them both in a bear hug. “Take care, Soph,” he told his sister.
“You, too, Uncle Luke. We’ll be missing you.” She sniffled and Josh patted her face.
And then Luke was standing in front of Harper.
He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
“Thank you, Harper. For everything.”
A single tear slid down her cheek. She shook her head. “I should be thanking you. This was the best month of my life.”
“Tell me one more time.”
“I love you Lucas Garrison and you’d better come home safely to your family or I’ll come back and kick your ass.”
He grinned. “That’s my girl.”
He lowered his lips to hers and held, softly, tenderly. She could taste the salt of her tears on his lips.
Luke pulled back slowly and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. When Harper’s lip trembled he pulled her in tight.
“I’ll be thinking about you,” he murmured in her ear. “Be good. Be safe.”
“Back at you, Captain.”
He ran his thumb across her lower lip and smiled.
When he turned, Harper almost grabbed him. She wasn’t ready for this. She needed just a little more time.
She watched him stride across the parking lot where the rest of the unit was forming a line at the bus. She was proud and scared and sad all at the same time.
Sophie’s arm settled around her shoulder, anchoring Harper to the spot.
“It’s going to be okay, Harp.” But her voice wavered, too.
Claire stepped to Harper’s other side and put her arm around her waist. “We’re all going to be okay. Together.”
Harper nodded, eyes never leaving Luke’s retreating form. She knew there was no “together” in her future. She was an outsider, not family.
Luke paused on the lowest step of the bus and turned. He raised an arm in a wave.
Harper blew him a kiss. She saw his fingers close and smiled.
***
Harper climbed into the driver’s seat where Luke had sat barely an hour ago and pulled the door shut. She hid the tears that were starting behind sunglasses and waved to Luke’s family as she guided the truck out of the parking lot and back onto the road.
He was gone. The man who had her heart was forever out of her life and she was expected to carry on as if everything was normal. How did the people in real relationships with children and responsibilities do it? Wave stoically as their partners, their rocks, their hearts left them to live another life. One that could never be fully shared or understood.
A sob escaped her and she pulled over to the side of the road, her vision clouded with tears that scalded her eyes. The ache in her chest spread to her throat.
Her heart broke for the men and women separated by war and duty. The fear that clutched at the hearts of those at home, never quite dissipating. At least in their case, the ones left behind could work to build their lives and the lives of their family so the man or woman they loved could come home to it.
Harper’s life, as she had so quickly grown accustomed to it, was gone. Never to return. Even after Luke came back. He wasn’t coming home to her. Benevolence would no longer be her home.
She let silent sobs rack her shoulders until her head sank to the steering wheel. She loved him.
She loved him now and she knew for certain she would love Luke Garrison for the rest of her life.
From the truck’s console, Harper’s phone signaled a text.
She wanted to ignore it. She would rather wallow and wail on the side of the road for as long as it took to feel better. There was no room for the outside world right now. But shutting down wasn’t an option. It was never an option. She pulled her phone from the console and swiped the screen. It was a text from Luke.
Stay.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Harper shifted the tray to her left hand so she could plug in the order for table seven and close out table twelve.
She sidestepped a pack of giggling 30-somethings on their way to the ladies room and nodded at the couple at the pool table who signaled another round. Hustling to the far end of the bar, she started reloading her tray.
It was a busy Friday night. The warm May weather made it too tempting to spend the night at home. It seemed like a large portion of the town’s population had decided dinner and drinks were the way to kick off the weekend. Harper didn’t mind. The busier the better. If she kept moving her mind stayed quiet.
But the ache in her chest? Well, that never left her for long.
Not with Luke Garrison seven thousand miles away and one month into his six-month deployment commanding his National Guard unit in Afghanistan.
“Bank’s looking good tonight, Harp.” Sophie winked from her position behind the taps. “What kind of treasure are we spending our hard earned tips on?”
Harper tucked the back of her Remo’s polo back into her denim skirt before hoisting her tray. It was their favorite game to play at work. “Matching unicorn tattoos.”
“Love it!”
Her tray full of beer and her mind full of Luke, Harper spun back into the fray.
A month into it and she was still getting used to being in a very real, very long distance relationship. They had planned to go their separate ways, parting as friends. She had been trying to prepare herself to mourn their relationship while forging a new life alone.
But one word had changed everything.
Stay.
His text had arrived just as the full reality of saying good-bye had hit her. Sitting in his truck sobbing at the thought of a life without Luke. Her hands shook so hard she could barely reply to the text.
What??
I want to come home to you. Stay.
It wasn’t an “I love you,” but it was enough. His text had found its way through her despair and given her hope. He was offering her a life and a future. With him.
They had talked that night before his flight. And a desperate hope had bloomed in her chest.
“I got on that bus and realized that if you weren’t there when I came home I’d go back to the same existence. And I don’t want to just exist anymore. Baby, I know it’s a lot to ask. Six months is a long time to wait, but I want you there,” he told her.
Her eyes swam in tears as she nodded silently. “Luke, if there’s anyone worth waiting six months for, it’s you.”
“Back at you, baby.”
So she stayed. She canceled her interview in Fremont and unpacked her boxes and bags. And her first night alone in his house, she went stark raving mad.
Knowing that it would be six long months before she felt Luke’s hard body raging over her, or caught a quick glimpse of that dimple, fed her desperation to find a distraction.
But what?
Since moving to Benevolence her entire focus had been on Luke. Luke’s incredible body, Luke’s home, Luke’s work. Luke’s really incredible body.
That first night, she lay awake in the center of the bed wearing one of his tshirts and stared at the ceiling until dawn. For the first time in her life, she had stability, she had a future. She just didn’t k
now what to do with it.
She did her best to stay busy.
Harper took up knitting. Until she pierced her knuckle with the knitting needle and bled all over the silky ivory yarn that wasn’t looking anything like the pattern anyway. Scrapbooking was next. Until she realized she had nothing to scrapbook. There were only so many silly stickers and borders you could stick to a page without any actual photos.
Finally, Sophie took pity on her and offered up a weekly shift at Remo’s to get Harper out of the house on Friday nights. Sophie bartended while Harper called on her college experience and waited tables. The tips were good, and it was the perfect way to get to know the residents of Benevolence. Sooner or later, everyone showed up at Remo’s for dinner, for drinks, for conversation.
Of course, most of the customers knew her name before they even met her.
Small towns.
Luke was not thrilled when she told him in their first video chat.
“No, Harper. Absolutely not,” he said, his tone clipped.
“Are you using your captain voice on me right now?” she asked him in disbelief.
The look he leveled at her through the computer had her grinning. He took a deep breath and tried another tack. “What I meant to say is I really don’t like the idea of you closing on a Friday night by yourself. It’s too late, and what if there’s trouble? Who’s going to help you?” She could see the frustration on his face.
“Luke, you don’t need to worry about this.”
“I hate not being around to protect you.”
“It’s not your job to protect me.”
“Yes. It is. And I take it very seriously. So if something happens to you I’m going to be fucking pissed.”
“I love you. That’s the reason I’m doing this. I miss you so much it hurts to breathe. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because all I can do is feel this hole in my heart. This shift will help me keep my mind off of missing you.”
He sighed. “Baby, I miss you, too. Every time I wake up and you’re not in my arms it’s like a knife in the gut. But I need you to be safe. Promise me, Harper, that you’ll take every precaution.”
She crossed her heart. “I promise. Ty got Sophie and I pepper spray, and we carpool to our shift. Besides, Luke, everyone knows who we belong to.”
Harper dropped off the beers and a diet soda and raced back to the server station to order for Reece and Dana at the pool table.
She made another lap before circling back to the bar and spotting a familiar face.
Gloria was perched on a barstool sipping a glass of wine.
“Hey, Gloria,” Harper waved to her friend. “It’s nice to see you out and about!”
A delicate blush tinged her cheeks. “I’m celebrating my first paycheck from Blooms.”
Free from the abuse of her ex-boyfriend Glenn Diller, Gloria landed a job at the local florist and was saving for her own apartment.
“Good for you! Claire says you’re doing a great job,” Harper told her, reloading her tray. Luke’s mom, a plant lover for life, worked at Blooms part-time and had been singing Gloria’s praises.
“Thanks. I really like it there.” Gloria’s blush deepened. “Um, have you heard from Luke?”
Harper couldn’t stop the smile that took over her face if she tried. Just the mention of his name gave her a little rush. A fast, electric tingle.
She nodded. “I had an email from him Wednesday and I talked to him last week.”
Gloria turned her gaze to her glass as she twirled the stem between her fingers. “Did he say how Aldo’s doing?”
“Oooooooooh,” Sophie cooed behind the bar. “Someone has a crush!”
Gloria turned an even brighter shade of pink.
“Stop picking on her!” Harper rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind Sophie,” she told Gloria. “She thinks she’s Cupid.”
“By the way, you’re welcome,” Sophie winked at Harper.
Harper definitely owed Soph a debt of gratitude for putting her in Luke’s bed that first night. Not that she intended to inflate Luke’s sister’s head any more than it already was.
“Anyway,” Harper looked pointedly at Sophie. “Luke did mention that Aldo’s organizing some crazy boot camp workout competition with a bunch of the people from their unit. Tire flipping, rope climbing. He promised to email pictures.”
Gloria nodded, but remained silent.
“I could give you his email address, you know.”
That had Gloria lifting her gaze. “Don’t you think it would be … weird?”
Harper shook her head and hefted her tray. “I think you guys waited long enough. Don’t you?” She started for the crowd and called over her shoulder. “I’ll send you his email address.”
***
That night, Harper collapsed into bed exhausted and alone. On Fridays, James, Luke’s younger brother, took Lola and Max overnight so she didn’t have to worry about them being alone all day and into the night.
She smiled, imagining the dogs cramming themselves between him and whatever attractive, single girl he had talked into his bed. Just like his brother, he wasn’t into commitment. However, in James’ case, the girls didn’t have to be nearly as persuasive as Harper had been.
Was this Luke settling down? Asking her to stay seemed like a big step. But there were so many things unsaid between the two of them. What was he keeping from her? There were walls between them and not just the ones he had built in the basement.
Harper couldn’t help but wonder how things would be when he came home. Would it be the same old cycle of getting too close only to be pushed away? She rolled over and hugged a pillow. Doubts and concerns found their way into her mind in the quiet hours of the night, especially when she hadn’t heard from him.
They managed a phone call or a video chat almost every week and in those precious minutes everything was better. Just hearing his voice from half a world away made her body come alive.
Hanging up was hell.
Harper instituted a rule for herself. She wasn’t allowed to cry on the phone. She wanted to leave him with a warm feeling in his chest that would lift him up, not a sinking guilt or loneliness that would plague him.
After every call, she allowed herself five minutes to cry those unshed tears and embrace the hollow of her heart. And then she carried on.
She curled around his pillow. Tonight she was wearing a Garrison Construction t-shirt that she found in his office. Wrapped in his familiar scent, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
The next morning, Harper set aside some time to work in her new garden. Charlie helped her till the soil and Claire had gone on a plant-buying rampage with her. She was determined to make this hobby stick and not just because she liked zucchini and fresh tomatoes. Damn it if she didn’t want to add something to this house that was just hers. She wanted to belong here, feel at home. She wanted to provide something tangible to their home together.
Harper brought her gloved hands to her lower back and lifted her face to the sky. The morning sunshine held a hint of humidity. A sure sign that summer was on its way.
Her phone signaled an incoming call from the railing of the porch. It was Luke’s ringtone. She sprinted across the back yard like an Olympian and pounced on the phone.
“Harper?” Luke’s voice crackled through the connection.
“Luke!”
“Harper, can you call me back?”
“Yes. I have the phone card here. Give me ten seconds, okay?”
“Hurry. Please.” He disconnected.
Something was wrong. Harper’s heart pounded in her chest as she dashed inside to grab the phone card out of her purse. She misdialed twice before she was able to calm her fingers enough to get through.
“Luke! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“Baby, I’m fine. But Aldo —” Luke’s voice cracked on his friend’s name.
Harper felt her heart clutch.
“Aldo’s hurt pretty bad. It was an IED.
They medevacked him to Bagram. I don’t know his status.”
She heard him take a breath. Heard the catch in his throat.
“Oh my God, Luke. Honey, I’m so sorry.”
He cleared his throat and she knew he was pulling it in, tamping it down.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.” A tear trickled down her cheek at the pain in his voice. “Everything here is fine.”
“Please keep talking, Harp. I just want to hear your voice.”
“The dogs miss you. I keep coming home and finding your running shoes at the door. Max and Lola go into the closet every morning and carry them down there.”
She knew she sounded like she was being strangled, but she pressed on. She told him about Ty’s new police cruiser and how they got the bid on the Greek restaurant.
“That’s great, Harp. Thanks.”
“I love you, Luke.”
She heard his sigh, knew he needed the words.
“Can you do me a favor, baby?”
“Anything.”
“Go sit with Mrs. Moretta. She’ll be getting a call soon. Maybe take my mom?”
“Absolutely. If I hear anything I’ll email you and you do the same. Okay?”
“Thanks, Harper. I … don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Anything for you, Luke. I love you so much.”
“I … miss you.”
“Miss you, too. Call as soon as you can.”
“Will do.”
***
Luke hung up the phone and dropped it on the pillow next to him. The cot creaked with the motion.
He stared listlessly out the dusty window at the gray mountains looming just beyond base.
He needed that glimpse of home that only Harper could give him. Needed the reminder that there was a life waiting for him beyond the dusty, dry heat of the desert — that right now painted red with his friend’s blood.
He reached for his laptop and opened his email.
Luke thought that fixing Harper’s car had been a good going away gift. Harper had him beat. When he opened his email for the first time in Afghanistan, he saw she had sent him close to thirty pictures. Many of them ones he hadn’t known she took. There were shots of the two of them, of the dogs, pictures of his family, and his home. She even included a few of his employees. He opened the files almost every day.