“Then why did you marry me in the first place. Why are you here now?”
“I told you. I wanted to see my son.”
Mitch let out a slow sigh and quickly glanced at the kitchen door. “Well, now you have,” he said quietly.
“And I think Jonathan deserves to get some of that money your grandfather willed to you.”
“What will? I told you the day I came home and found someone else on my side of the bed that his lawyer never drew up a will. And except for the few investments he had, which no doubt my dad has already lost in Las Vegas, my grandfather lived his last days on social security.”
“No wonder your father was able to hurt you so badly. You're far too gullible, Mitch.”
“Just get out. Now,” he said, through clenched teeth.
“Not until my son gets everything that's coming to him.”
“Everything I have is his.”
Her lips twisted into a satisfied grin. “That's what I'm counting on.”
“That doesn't include you.”
She glared hard at him, but he didn't back down or make apologize for his behavior. Her lips pursed wryly. “Still upset that I forgot to tell you about him, are you?”
“You didn't forget anything. With you, everything is a calculated move. What I can't figure out is the timing. Why did you wait until he was a few weeks old to tell me about him?”
“You're the one who left Baltimore.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “You’ve always known how to find me. You could have called. I would have been there for you.”
She glanced up at him and for a split second, he saw the young girl he knew as a child. “Would you have? Even after the way things ended for us?”
In truth, Mitch wasn't sure. It was all a bit of a blur now the way he'd come home from the nursing home after visiting his grandfather on his deathbed and finding his wife with another man when they were still on their honeymoon. At the time, he'd seen what he needed to see in Lillian. Only then did he see the true woman he'd married. He was glad when she so readily agreed to an annulment.
Lillian settled herself in a chair at the kitchen table and fingered the delicate tablecloth Sara had covered it with. “Your lady friend has nice taste.”
“I told you to leave Sara out of this.”
With a roll of her eyes, she began rifling through her purse and after a moment, pulled out a compact and a tube of lipstick. She reapplied another layer of red over her already colored lips while she spoke.
“I'm surprised you even want to be saddled with a kid. All those plans you had to own ranch and train horses? A baby doesn’t leave much time for that. But you'd talked about how much one day having a family meant to you. It was too late to have—”
The glare he shot stopped her from finishing.
Lillian sighed and went on, ignoring him. “I almost didn't have him, you know. But I did. I must have gotten pregnant on our wedding night . I didn't even know until after you'd already left for Texas. You were so angry, I figure it would only make things worse. I was all ready to give him up for adoption, but then, I figured you'd really hate me then.”
“Does that matter to you?”
“We were friends once upon a time. But then I wasn't sure you'd even want Jonathan.”
“He's my son. Besides, what choice did you leave me? You blew out the door like a tornado the first chance you got.”
“You could have shipped him back to Baltimore.”
“Shipped him? Oh, now that's very maternal of you.”
Lillian gave him a hard look, sugarcoated with sweetness. “I never said I was. But he is my son.”
“If seeing him is what you want, I'll have my lawyer draw up some visitation agreement and you can visit.”
She laughed. The wickedness of it sent a chill racing through his veins and up his spin. The woman he remembered leaving in Baltimore was back. She had a plan, an agenda and Mitch wanted no part of it.
“Not visitation. I want him back.”
Mitch felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “You're not leaving this ranch with Jonathan. You abandoned him.”
“Did I? I’m sure a judge will see it a different way. I was hoping we could come to some kind of a…financial agreement on our own. You know lawyers can make things so messy, and they are so expensive. If you stop and think clearly about what's best for Jonathan, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.”
“You want money to get out of Jonathan’s life?”
“Is that an offer?”
He shook his head and walked to the door. “I don't trust you, Lillian. And I’m done talking.”
With practiced grace, she stretched her legs out from beneath the table and stood. “I'm sorry to hear you say that. But not half as sorry as you'll be when I'm through with you.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“You of all people should know that when I want something I don't stop until I get it. It's something we both shared, something you once said was what attracted you to me.”
His fists clench at his side, he leveled her with a hard gaze as she spun on her designer heels through the door without another word. Looking back once, Lillian smiled and then Mitch slammed the door as she walked away.
Mitch hadn't realized how fast and hard his heart was pumping until he was alone in the silence.
Good God, she wanted to take his son away. His son. And for a financial agreement. What kind of money did she think he had? What little money he did have was tied up in the ranch. But as Lillian had pointed out, Jonathan was her son too. And she was using him as a bargaining chip.
His hands were trembling when he poured a glass of water and then quickly gulped it down. He had to see Jonathan. Needed to see his son. Watching Lillian, hearing her threats had brought back way too many memories he didn't want to face, shaking him to the core.
* * *
The light in the room had gone dim with the fading day. Jonathan had fallen asleep after only finishing half a bottle, well before the yelling stopped. Sara sat quietly, rocking the baby for a while until she heard the kitchen door slam. She placed Jonathan in his new crib and then peered out the window. As Lillian's car spun away, Sara expelled a heavy sigh of relief that it was over. She couldn't face hearing any more bickering over Jonathan. He was just a baby, an innocent.
But mostly, Sara couldn't stay because no matter how much she knew Mitch was angry and frightened by Lillian's appearance, she didn't share his feelings.
She'd seen the longing in Lillian's eyes when she glanced over at Jonathan. It must have been hard for her to see Jonathan after so long and seen how much he'd change. And how he'd bonded with a total stranger. After two months, it was as if Jonathan didn't even know his mother was holding him.
But Lillian was Jonathan's mother, not Sara. She'd known that all along, obviously. But until now, Lillian was just a name. She wasn't a living breathing person who could make decisions and make mistakes, just as she had. She wasn't a beautiful woman that Mitch had loved and had a child with. Even though in her mind, Sara knew she existed, Lillian hadn't been real to her. Until now.
She sank down into the rocking chair by Jonathan's crib and pushed back with a sigh. Jonathan was sound asleep and would probably remain that way until the morning. He was such a good baby that way.
And Mitch, although he'd balked at the idea of being a father, he'd stepped into the role with ease. Now it was as if Jonathan had always been a part of his life. He had to be scared to death of losing him.
Leaning forward in the rocker, Sara stared at this precious baby she'd come to love so dearly. The resemblance to Mitch was undeniable. But there had to be signs of his mother there, too. She searched the baby's face and her memory for traces of Lillian in Jonathan's features and came up blank. Oh, she knew Lillian was there. And as Jonathan grew and changed, more of his mother would emerge. But for right now, this little cowboy was the spitting image of his daddy.
That made the i
llusion easier. An illusion that had been shattered even as Mitch still had his arms wound securely around her.
Sara could almost still feel the hard, corded muscles of Mitch's shoulders jump underneath her touch as she reached up and kissed him earlier. Unconsciously, she drew in a breath and the memory of his aftershave filled her. She'd opened up her heart and let Mitch Broader in, despite knowing she shouldn't.
Her goal had been so clear. She was going home. But now her heart was crying out for something different yet again. How could that be? She couldn't possibly be doomed to continue making the same mistake repeatedly.
It was only a matter of weeks before she'd start visiting the schools on the rez. As soon as word got out, she knew she'd probably get offers from schools in the surrounding area to tell the stories that were being lost to this new generation of Apache children. She still wanted all that. But she wanted Mitch, too. Now that Lillian was here in Texas, what would that mean for all of them? Where did she fit in?
The creak in the top stair tread signaled Mitch was just outside her bedroom door. She'd heard the kitchen door slam and the car roar down the driveway. Sara had let out a sigh of relief that Jonathan was still sleeping in his crib. She had no right to that feeling.
Mitch appeared at the doorway. His face no longer held that ferocious look of a lion protecting his cub. The rough lines of his face and his drawn expression showed both how weary and relieved he was.
He didn't say a word. He just walked over to the crib and laid a gentle hand on Jonathan's belly as he slept. He stood there for a long moment in silence, just watching. Finally, he turned and glanced at Sara.
“You should turn in,” he whispered. “It's been a long day and you look exhausted.”
“So do you.”
He simply nodded, then walked out of the room. The magic of the day was gone.
#
Chapter Eight
It had been a restless night for both of them, Sara realized the moment Mitch appeared downstairs. The slight bend in his shoulders, and the heaviness of his eyes told of how he had thought long hours into the night about Lillian's visit.
Sara had, too. Much as she knew it was none of her business, she couldn't help but wonder how this visit from Lillian would change both her life and Mitch's.
He'd never gotten to tell her what he'd wanted to say yesterday. They'd been interrupted by the doorbell. But these past few days had felt almost magical in a way Sara hadn't thought ever possible again. She was sure Mitch was going to ask her to stay. He'd kept himself back from asking. He was fiercely independent that way. She understood too well what had driven him there. She’d experienced a similar kind of betrayal, and knew how much Mitch valued his hard-fought self-esteem.
On the outside, the cockiness of a man who knew where he was going and what he was doing didn't mask the pained little boy who'd been left to handle emotional bruises. It was there. And she...yes, she loved him both for it and because of what he'd managed to do in spite of it. Mitchell Broader was a good man. He had his reasons for not giving Lillian a second chance.
It was all the more reason they needed to talk about last night’s visit. But before she could broach the subject after breakfast, Mitch had quickly disappeared to work with Beau.
She'd wait for him, Sara decided. He may be able to ignore his problems out on the range, and maybe that was a good distraction to give him time to clear his head, but he had to come home. His sole reason for coming home was nestled in her arms.
She glanced down at Jonathan, who had just successfully drained the last of his bottle. He was such a beautiful baby. In the last month, since she’d discovered her feelings for Mitch were growing leaps and bounds, she'd allowed herself to fantasize about them as a family. About what it would be like to give this precious child she'd fallen so head over heels in love with a sister or brother. What kind of hair would a child they created have? Would they share the same blue eyes or would their baby take more after her, and inherit the striking Apache features Sara was born with.
It didn't matter anymore. She wasn't Jonathan's mother. And no matter how much she would love to think otherwise, Jonathan was the thread that had bound her and Mitch together. Without it, they would fall apart.
An ache settled, dull but strong, in the center of her chest.
“You knew this could happen, Sara,” she whispered as she placed the baby in his crib. “All the more reason why you don't belong here.”
Mitch wouldn't be happy about what Sara was going to tell him, but he had to know her true feelings. If she didn't tell him, then they'd have nothing. No chance for any kind of future.
As she closed the door to the nursery, she wondered if even that had been an illusion all along.
* * *
Sara visited with Mandy only briefly. Mandy was on bed rest as she neared the end of her pregnancy, and there wasn't a whole lot she could do but sleep and read. Sara had sat at the foot of Mandy's new four-poster bed and chatted for a while, wanting so much to tell Mandy about Lillian's visit, but feeling too disjointed to put her jumbled thoughts into words.
Although Mandy had confessed to hearing Lillian's car spin out of the driveway the night before after everyone had come home from the Powwow, she hadn't pressed the issue. Sara was glad for that.
And she was glad later on when Corrine insisted she leave Jonathan with her while Sara brought the cowboys some lunch out in the field. Sara was doing her a huge favor, Corrine had said. Besides, Alice was coming over and the two of them needed to do some spoiling.
Sara had loaded Corrine's pickup truck with a picnic basket full of sandwiches and drinks. As she made her way up the rutted dirt road toward the pasture, where the cowboys had been baling hay all morning, her stomach clenched. She was glad when she found Mitch and Beau alone, and learned that the other hands had headed back to the ranch for lunch.
Mitch's blue eyes registered steep panic when she climbed out of the truck.
“What's wrong?”
Beau tipped his hat to her. “Good afternoon, Sara. What brings you out here?”
“Where's Jonathan?”
“Back at the house with Corrine,” Sara said. “Don’t worry. He's fine and quite happy being the center of attention.”
Mitch's face instantly registered relief. “I thought...”
He shook his head and pulled off his gloves as he walked over to her. The lines she'd seen etched in the corner of his eyes had smoothed some, despite being under the hot sun. Work was good for him. And now that he knew she hadn’t come out to the field for a crisis, he smiled one of those brilliant smiles that always melted her heart.
Despite how his cowboy hat protected his fair-skinned face from the sun, Sara noticed immediately Mitch's upper arms were starting to burn.
“I'm glad you stopped by then,” he said, his eyes grazing her with a hunger she felt herself just the evening before.
She actually felt her heart flutter. Vaguely aware that Beau was standing nearby, she said, “There's lunch in the picnic basket. And some sunscreen to keep you both from looking like a snake shedding its skin.”
“Good, because I'm starving,” Beau said.
She waited until she saw Beau was settled in the front seat of the pickup, sifting through the food Corrine had prepared.
“You need to get some sunscreen on you or you're going to be hurting later.”
“I've missed you,” he said, pulling her into his arms, ignoring her warning. She settled against him as if they fit like a glove. She liked the feel of this glove.
“You left early this morning.”
He kissed her gently on the lips and said, “I know. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Beau and I want to have some time to work with the horses tonight. Some of them are ready to show.”
“What about Jonathan?”
“You can bring him on out to the corral to watch his old man.” His grin was bright. “It won't be long before he'll be testing the saddle himself. Might as well give him his
first ride.”
Sara chuckled. “You don't think he's too young?”
“Hell, no. Lots of Texas cowboys started riding from the cradle. Will you bring him out and come for a ride with us?”
She didn't answer right away. He was stalling. And right at that moment, Sara realized it was the absolute wrong time for her to talk to him about what was on her mind.
When she hesitated, Mitch tipped her chin with the tip of his fingers. “In case you're wondering, I'm asking you on a date.”
She blinked, trying hard not to do something so utterly ridiculous as sigh. “And using your son as a ruse to get me to go riding?”
“Oh, Jonathan will be riding. But I'm going to make sure I get a few rides in with you, too. Trust me?”
“Okay.”
They still needed to talk. But maybe after they spent some time together tonight, it would be the perfect time for them to do it. By then, maybe she'd have her head straight on enough to know exactly how she felt.
* * *
Sara had raced through the day like a giddy schoolgirl, and yet, part of her knew she should be keeping herself very much in check. Mitch had called it a date. It wasn't a date. Not really. They were just staying right here on the ranch.
She knew all too well that her feelings for Mitch were growing. With Lillian's sudden appearance yesterday, she'd make sure that she clamped down any notion to encourage Mitch until she knew exactly how they both felt. It would only complicated matters more if they rushed into another relationship with unfinished business left behind from another.
But Mitch's kiss. Oh, Lord, Sara couldn't stop thinking about it. It had been sweet and gentle and full of excitement. Something deep inside her burst free like a volcanic eruption. She remembered the feel of his arms as it slipped protectively around her waist and pulled her close to him. It had been like coming home. Like a rebirth of something she'd lost long ago and didn't know how to find again.
She shook her head as she folded yet more baby clothes to hand over to Mandy. Jonathan was growing leaps and bounds. Her heart squeezed with emotion she knew she shouldn't name. She loved the baby, just like...
His Heart for the Trusting (Book 2 - Texas Hearts (Contemporary Western Romance) Page 10