by Green, Vicki
Table of Contents
The Regret
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Epilogue
The Regret
Written by Vicki Green
The Regret
The Heartache Series Book 2
Vicki Green
Regrets can make you strong,
Regrets can make you weak,
Some regrets you can never get over
Tanner Clark is different than most people. He seems mysterious to most, keeping his secrets close and not trusting many. The one regret in his life will haunt him until he can find a way to make amends. Will this be another regret he’ll make, and one that cannot be undone? His life takes an unexpected turn when he follows a girl to a small town and rents the apartment next to hers. She’s different than most women. Strong, defiant, has tattoos and piercings, but she’s making it very hard for him to get to know her.
Jolie Ross has had a rough childhood, one she’d soon rather forget. When she follows the one person who she ended up trusting in college, and who became the first friend she’s truly ever had, she finds a better life in a small town working at a gym. Her life finally takes a turn for the better. Good job, nice apartment, until a mysterious dark haired man, with tattoos and piercings, walks into the gym. He becomes a personal trainer there, but she’s leery of his secrecy. She decides it’s best to keep her distance. She doesn’t want any more regrets.
Can two people who are so similar yet, so different, stay away from each other or will fate lend a hand and show them that there doesn’t always have to be regrets?
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Amazon Edition
Vicki Green Copyright 2016©
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form with authorization of the Author Vicki Green©
Editor: Kathy Krick @K2 Editing:
https://www.facebook.com/K2Editing
Cover Design by Cover to Cover Designs:
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Formatting:
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Featured on the cover:
Lance Jones:
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Sky Kinz:
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Photographer: Shauna Kruse
Kruse Images & Photography: Models & Boudoir:
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*Due to strong language and sexual content, this book is not intended for readers under the age of 18+.
Dedication
I dedicate this story to my family
We’ve lived through loss
We’ve been strengthened from our regrets
And we found our happiness
Vicki’s Books
Forever Series
My Savior Forever
Together Forever
Soul-Mates Forever
Razers Edge (sequel novella to Soul-Mates Forever)
Stand Alone
Finding My Way Home
Touched Series
Touched
Forgiven
Trusted
Country Love Series
Country Heaven
A Taste Of Country
Love Of Country
Country Bliss (sequel novella to Country Heaven)
Back to Country – Coming Soon!
Beyond Love Series
Sacrifice For Love
Falling For Love
Longing For Love
Heartache Series
The Loss
The Regret
The Heartbreak – Coming Soon!
Chapter 1
Life is strange. One minute you’re fighting for your life and the next you’re hating yourself. That’s what happened to me. Yeah, I was young, but I should have fought harder. Not sure I’ll ever get over that. Now, I’m righting a wrong – doing what I wish I could have done so long ago. Took me long enough but I’ll be damned if I don’t do it. I’m determined, consumed with it. I live and breathe it, never stopping. I’m plagued by it and won’t rest. Ever. I’ve been through a ton of shit. Always stayed healthy, kept my body fit, and did a lot of training. No one will ever say I can’t hold my own. Not anymore. I’ve traveled to so many places and also worked undercover. People just think I’m a personal trainer, and I aim to keep it that way. It’s time to slow down now, do what I set out to do. It’s not gonna be easy.
“Tanner! Good to see you.”
Jase.
He’s a good man. Fought hard for what he wanted, what he needed. What was his. He’s made a good life for himself. He had some hard lessons before he broke free from the past that binded him, held him back from living.
“Jase. Good to see you too. Great wedding.”
We shake hands, smiling at each other. “I’m glad you could make it.” He pats my shoulder. “Thanks for taking over some of the responsibilities around here while Alena and I go on our honeymoon. I owe ya.”
I lower my head, my smile still on my face. “Nah. You don’t owe me for anything. I’m glad to do it.” Now I can spend even more time with Jolie, watching her, getting to know her.
“Well, I know you travel sometimes, and I appreciate you sticking around to help me.” I give him a nod, knowing I’m trying to stay close now. At least for a while. He keeps thanking me for saving him when I was just at the right place at the right time. Sorta. Well, I’ll just let him keep believing that. He just doesn’t know I’d been keeping an eye on him. I had a gut feeling that everything that had happened wasn’t quite over yet.
“Come on! We’re all moving to the snack area for the celebration.” Hailey’s voice shrills over the microphone. Again. I swear I think she lives to be in the spotlight. I chuckle as I look at Jase. He gives me a wink and walks away as I give him another nod telling him I’ll be there. I look around the crowd, most people moving towards the celebration. When I turn, I see Jolie standing behind the reception desk, leaning back against the wall watching people. I take a deep breath and walk over and lean against the wall beside her. If she knows I’m here, she doesn’t show it.
“Wanna go over and have a drink?” I ask hoping she’ll give in. Give me something.
Her eyes shift to me and then back out into the crowd and shrugs. “I could use a drink.”
She doesn’t wait for me to respond and pushes off the wall. I walk behind her until I catch up beside her and point to one of the last empty tables. She nods. I quickly jog over and pull out a chair for her. Instead she pulls out the one next to it and sits d
own. Point for her. She’s got some spunk in her, that’s for sure. Guess she’s one up on me now. I can’t hide my grin when I bend down, leaning my hands on the table in front of her. “What’ll you have? They said it’s an open bar.”
She looks up at me with those big blue eyes, and I swear something stirs inside me. She bats those long black lashes at me and speaks, “Fireball. Straight up. Light beer. If they don’t have that, surprise me.” She rests her elbows on the table, placing her chin on her hands, seriousness on her face. Her skin looks like porcelain, which is in contradiction to the tattoos coloring her left shoulder. I smile and give her a nod then walk towards the snack bar counter where they have everything laid out. I grab the bottle of fireball and pour a shot in two different plastic cups, then pull out two light beer bottles from the bucket of ice and walk back to her. Setting down one of the shots and beers in front of her, I place the other two drinks on the table in front of my seat and sit down. Picking up the shot, I raise it up in front of me and stare into her eyes. She looks at me, raises her cup, and we both chug them down. “Damn, that’s good,” she hisses. She takes a big swig of beer, looking out into the crowd.
“Want another?” I’ll stop at one, always keeping my head clear. When you least expect it, something could happen. I need to be ready. Need to make sure I can be there for her.
She shakes her head but doesn’t look at me. “Nah, thanks. I don’t drink much. One’s my limit.” She takes another drink of her beer then sets it down, her hands enveloping the bottle.
I look around, feeling a little uncomfortable, not knowing what to say. I look over at Jase and Alena, watching her tilt back her head in laughter, Jase’s arm around her. He’s looking at her, laughing too, but the look in his eyes is of such reverence, such love. “It was a really nice wedding.” That’s a stupid thing to say but one I’m feeling. I see Jolie nodding in my peripheral. “Glad that mess is behind them now, and they can be together, live their lives as they should.” I take a drink, my mind going back to all they’ve been through. Jase was a real mess trying to do anything and everything he could to save Alena, almost losing his own life in the process. I guess that’s what true love is, being willing to give up your life for the one you love, the one you can’t live without. I wish….
“I’m glad Jase and Alena could be here to have their wedding. I was a little nervous they wouldn’t be, with everything that happened. Scary.”
My eyes snap to her, watching her body shiver. She was scared. I poured everything into helping Jase and Alena, but I wasn’t there for Jolie. I wasn’t there to comfort her, make sure she was okay through everything that was happening. I fought for Jase and Alena but then went out of town to tend to business. I failed Jolie. Unconsciously, my hand reaches out, covering hers against her beer bottle. Her eyes move to mine, and I get lost in them. Eyes are the windows to your soul. You can tell so much by them. Fear. Sadness. Loneliness. My heart beats rapidly as so many emotions swarm me for this girl. Slowly, she pulls her hand out from under mine, placing it in her lap, breaking me of my stupor. “Yeah, it was scary.” It’s all I can think to say. What else can I say? I was only scared because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to save them. Then my inner monster was unleashed. It brought back memories of when I was younger, wishing I could have done more when I needed to but I didn’t have the strength or courage to do so. That’s what gets me through everything I do now. When I got older and built up my body to be stronger, making it a powerhouse, I was then able to fight. I know I’m not invincible. Yet in the heat of the moment, my monster will come out and my mind clouds back to when I was weak, a coward, and it’s like it has a mind of its own.
“It didn’t seem to stop you from kicking some serious ass.”
My eyes come back into focus from being lost in my own thoughts, something I shouldn’t allow to happen. There’s a slight smile on her lips, and I take a deep breath. Man, she’s fucking beautiful, much more than I ever imagined. I bring my hand back and pick up my beer, taking a large drink. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t that scared.” My mouth lifts into a small smile, masking what I’m feeling. I was scared but my adrenaline and the need to help overpowered my fear. It always does. We sit in silence. I don’t want to look at her, or see in her eyes what she’s thinking.
“There you two are.”
We both look up at Alena, standing beside me smiling. Again I let my inner thoughts overrule my perception of someone coming close. I’m losing it. It’s Jolie. When I’m around her, all I can think about is her. I give Alena a smile and watch as she holds out her hand to me. “Dance with me.” I swallow hard, not wanting to leave Jolie, feeling protective as always. It’s just a dance, idiot. You’ll still be close.
I look behind her searching for Jase and spot him dancing with his mom in the corner. The DJ is playing music behind them. Several people are dancing as well, having a good time, talking, laughing. I guess it is a celebration. Normally, I don’t allow myself to get lost in having a good time, not even sure the last time I had one, if ever. I’m usually on alert, too busy making sure everyone around me is safe.
“Come on, Tanner. I want to dance with my friend. The man who saved my husband. And me.” Her smile spreads. How can I say no to that?
I stand, feeling strange about what I’m about to do, and look quickly over at Jolie. Her eyes have changed to something else. Jealousy? Nah, couldn’t be. Maybe longing? Maybe she’s wishing I would ask her to dance. Maybe she’s as lonely as I am. The short time I’ve been here, I’ve never seen her go out with a guy or even a girlfriend for that matter. Perhaps she doesn’t have any friends, well, other than Jase. I know they went to college together, and that she followed him here. I do know more than she thinks I know. I look at Alena, smile and take her hand, giving her a nod. We walk over to the makeshift dance floor, and I put my arm around her slim waist. She gathers up the side of her long wedding dress as we hold our other hands together, swaying to the music. Her eyes shift behind me and then back into mine.
“So. Are you having fun?” she asks, her eyes hopeful. I know what she’s doing, but I play along.
I nod. “It was a nice wedding. I’m happy for you and Jase. You all deserve it.” I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never been one to get close to anyone, never wanting to let down my defenses and let myself get close. It’s not the same. You’re older now. Stronger. I chastise myself internally.
She squeezes my hand. “Well, we are truly thankful that you were there.” Her head tilts, her mind thinking hard. “It’s just so odd that you came into the gym right when Jase needed someone to help him. How is that possible?” I knew either she or Jase would eventually ask this question, but I didn’t think it would be this fast. Think, Tanner!
“Oh! I’d forgotten my gym bag, and my phone was in it so I let myself in to get it.” I lie. Smooth, Tanner.
Her brows lower, then her face softens. “I’m sorry you forgot it, but I’m also so thankful you did. If you hadn’t come in he’d….” She couldn’t finish her thought, and she didn’t need to. I get it. He’d be dead and there would have been a funeral today instead of a wedding. She shakes her head, her mouth turning back into a smile. “I’m not sure we even thanked you properly.” She leans towards me, and my heart begins to beat faster. She kisses my cheek then moves back just a bit and looks into my eyes. “Thank you for saving my love, my life. We can never truly repay you.” I don’t deserve her kind words. I did what I needed to, and my monster was able to release and take what he needed. Jase actually helped me do that even though he could have lost his life in the process.
“Hey!” We stop dancing as Jase suddenly appears at our side. He’s smiling as he takes Alena’s hand from mine. “Only married an hour and you’re already kissing on another man?” He’s being playful, giving me a wink as he takes her into his arms. The look on his face, in his eyes, so full of love for his wife – his best friend of a l
ifetime. She folds into his arms, looking up at him with such affection.
“Hey, man. I was just keeping her company until you came back.” I wink back at him. He reaches out, placing his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. I feel what he feels. Gratefulness. Friendship. Things I don’t deserve and not sure I want. I’d learned early in life what it’s like to let go, care for someone so deeply, and then the anguish of failing them. I take a step back, giving them their space. He releases me and puts his arms around her, staring into her eyes. They begin to sway and I feel like an intruder so I walk back to the table only to find it empty. Stopping, I look around. Jolie’s nowhere in the room. Do I go look for her? Do I wait, hoping she’ll come back? Indecision weighs heavily on me. My insides come to life, the protective monster within ready to come out. My hands fist at my sides as I look around in every direction.
“Sheesh, you look like you’re ready to beat the shit out of something or someone.”
Her voice is like a beacon, my head snapping around. She’s standing there by her chair, holding two cups of fireball with one hand and another beer in the other. “I didn’t get you another beer. You haven’t finished the first one, but I got you another shot.” She sets them down and tries handing me one of the shots. My fists unclench as I take some deep breaths, trying to slow down my heart. I give her a small smile.