The Regret (Heartache #2)

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The Regret (Heartache #2) Page 6

by Green, Vicki


  After everything....

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble. She stumbles, moving aside and I open the door, turning to look over my shoulder keeping my eyes on the floor. “This was a mistake. I’m …. sorry.” I walk out of her apartment and close the door and run home. Run. Run again. That’s all you do.

  I walk inside my apartment, not even bothering to lock the door, and walk straight over to my punching bag. I start hitting it hard. Punch after punch, letting out all my frustrations. I’d not moved it yet so it keeps hitting the wall, knowing now the other side is the wall in her kitchen. I turn around so it swings out the other way – hitting it over and over to the point my injured hand is searing pain up my arm. I don’t stop. I keep going until I’m gasping for air, clutching the bag to my chest. I push it aside, angrily, and then walk to my room and into my bathroom. After taking a shower, I crawl into bed, lay on my back with my head on my arm and stare up at the ceiling.

  “I won’t ever like guys,” she cries as I hold her. “All they do is hurt you.”

  I turn over on my side, hit my pillow and look at the wall then squeeze my eyes shut.

  “Don’t say that. One day, a guy will capture your heart and he’ll be the luckiest guy on earth. In the world.”

  I get up, throwing the covers off and get out of bed, and put on a t-shirt and gym shorts. I grab my keys and my iPod, put the buds in my ears and walk out of my apartment. I don’t look at her door as I pass by. Keeping my eyes trained on the floor, I jog down the stairs, out the front door and start running. Always running.

  The next day, I avoid her like the plague. I work hard training my clients and on my off time I work out until I’m near exhaustion. Only two more days and Jase and Alena will be back from their honeymoon and maybe I can take a day or two off. Where would I go? What would I do? Even though I was an asshole to Jolie, I still need to be around to protect her, look after her. It’s what I swore I’d do. It’s what I promised. By the time we’re ready to lock up for the day, I’ve managed to keep an eye on her from a distance, far enough away I haven’t had to talk to her. She’s ignored me as well. Probably confused and pissed off. I don’t blame her. How could I have let myself go like that? How could I have given in to temptation? Easy, it’s Jolie.

  “I don’t care who the hell you are, we’re closed!”

  I walk out of the men’s locker room after cleaning up in there and see Jolie pushing against the front door. The guy from the bar last night is standing in between it and the frame not allowing her to close it. What the fuck? I jog through the open room and to the front entrance and notice Jolie’s feet sliding on the tile as she pushes harder against the door.

  “What’s going on here?” I growl as I get nearer.

  Jolie’s head turns and she looks at me over her shoulder then let’s go of the door and stands, looking at the guy with her hand on her hip. “This guy won’t leave, even after I told him we’re closed. He won’t take no for an answer.” She’s breathing heavy in her exertion from trying to get the guy out and all I can think of is the last time I saw her like that – beneath me against the door as I finger fucked her. I rub my hand down my face at the thought.

  “Look. I just wanted to talk to you, actually.” He looks at me. “And I also want to ask about becoming a member,” he says as she steps into the room, his hands up in surrender. “I don’t want any trouble.”

  I look at Jolie then at him. “And why would you need to talk to me?” I ask wondering who in the hell he is.

  He looks at Jolie then back at me. “I think it would be better if we spoke in private.” Jolie looks my way, and I shrug because I really have no idea what he wants. Unless....

  I raise my chin at him. “Okay, I’ll give you five minutes. We can use Jase’s office.” I look at Jolie, her mouth dropped open in surprise. “You can go home. I’ll lock up.” She acts as if she wants to say something. Instead she closes her mouth, gives me an angry and almost pained look, and walks to the hallway on the side of the building to leave. I walk over and click the lock closed on the front door then look at the guy and motion for him to follow me. This whole thing makes me nervous, anxious, but I think I might know what this is all about. If I’m right, shit’s about to go down.

  Taking out my keys, I unlock Jase’s office and flip on the light. I don’t walk far into the room when I turn around and cross my arms, showing this guy my well-built muscles and tattoos, showing my strength. “Okay. You’ve got five minutes. Better use them wisely.” He leans back against the wall, right inside the door, crossing his arms and showing me his own strength. Damn, he’s pretty built. He doesn’t have any tattoos but the sheer size of his biceps tell me he works out regularly.

  “Hi, Tanner.” My brows lower and eyes widen with the knowledge that he knows my name. “My name is Barrett Kingsley. I was sent by Dark Horse.” I swallow hard. I knew it! “It’s about to go down but he wanted me to come here personally to get you prepared.” He stands up from the wall and lowers his arms, relaxing. “I thought I’d join the gym here, be able to work out, and I got a room at the hotel on the other side of town.” I look down, thinking about what’s about to come. I’ve waited for this for six years. Six long years of finally having my payback. For me and for her.

  “What’s taken so long?” My voice sounds foreign, rough.

  He looks down at the chair and then at me. I nod and walk behind Jase’s desk and sit down as he sits in the chair in front of me. “They’ve been keeping on the up and up. There hasn’t been anything bad done until now.” My throat closes off as I try to shallow, so dry that there’s nothing to get down. “They’ve got two kids in their clutches and one of them has shown signs of bruising. I’ve been staked out there for a year but since I was told to come here, they’ve put another guy there to watch. He’s supposed to contact me when it gets bad enough that we can move in.”

  I lean my elbows on the desk, rub my hands down my face. It’s going to happen. It’s actually almost over. At some point, I need to tell her. Explain why I’m here and what’s going on. I’m almost nervous to do that especially after last night. Way to fuck it up, Tanner. I look up at Barrett and grow serious. “How long?” Should I tell her before or after the deed is done?

  He crosses his one leg over the other. “Not sure. We have to make sure we have enough to stick, ya know?” I nod. Yes, I know. No way are we going in there and then not have enough to do the damage needed. The problem is in order to get enough evidence one or both of those kids will have to give up a lot. “I know what you’re thinking.” My eyes snap to his. “We’re not going to let things go too far before we move in. You gotta have faith.”

  I had faith once but that was so long ago and then I wasn’t strong enough. That won’t happen again. I won’t allow it.

  Barrett leaves shortly after our talk and after letting him out the front, locking it up and walking out the side door, I get in my truck and decide to drive to the other side of town. There’s a neighborhood on the other side of town, across one of the main streets where Jase’s moms house is, the house he grew up in, that has a house for sale that I’ve kept my eye on since I got here. Once I’ve driven down the main street in town, I turn off onto another popular street then take a right into the neighborhood, and then the first left into a cul-de-sac. I drive the short distance down the small street then turn in the circle and stop alongside the curb at the house in the middle. The For Sale sign is still there. It’s dark outside but there’s a couple of lights on inside the house, probably what the realtor leaves on. It’s a modest ranch house. The exterior is stone, and a nice porch is across the front. Two steps down there’s a small sidewalk that leads to the double length driveway. I’ve been here during the day and walked around the outside into the backyard. There’s a deck that needs to be replaced, a fenced in yard, a walk out basement, and plenty of room on one side to build an extension. A little bit of a
fixer upper but it’s a dream of mine. I open my glove compartment and pick up the small piece of paper, double checking the phone number I’d written down to the one on the sign to make sure it’s the same. Smiling, I put the paper back and close the door. I don’t know how long I sit here, envisioning what I would do to the garden at the base of the front porch. I would line the driveway on both sides with landscaping lights, and maybe I’d buy one of those wooden swings to hang on the porch to sit on a cool evening and enjoy my handiwork. It’s not like I can’t afford it. With the money I inherited, I can buy this house with cash, fix it up the way I want and still have more money than I could spend in my lifetime. The only thing stopping me is knowing if I’ll still be around to live here. Then again, I could give it to her before …. I pull out my phone and make a call.

  Shaking my head from my thoughts, I pull away from the curb and drive back to my apartment building. I might tell Jolie tomorrow. That might be hard to do since she’s obviously angry at me. Thing is, I need to stay close to her until everything’s ready to happen. Then before I go, I need to figure out a way to explain everything to her. That might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. No, the second hardest thing.

  It’s late by the time I get home. Once I’m at the top of the stairs, I stop by Jolie’s door, my fist raised. I feel bad the way I left things, not intending on hurting her. I was wrong to leave without an explanation but to be honest, I’m not sure myself what happened. You let go, gave into your own desires, your own needs. I did, it’s true. By the way she responded I think she desired it as well. Wanted me just as bad as I wanted her. Opening my hand, I lay it against the chipped wood door, bowing my head. What would I say? Would I tell her everything, unravel all my hidden secrets? She’d hate me. I’ve hurt her enough to last a lifetime. Slowly I turn and walk to my apartment, ready for another long and lonely night.

  The next morning I feel restless but with the lack of sleep of another night, I decide to stop by the coffee shop that sits across the street from the gym – Shaw’s Coffee. I don’t normally allow myself to go in there due to the extreme amount of homemade pastries, muffins, and other delicious goodies that taunt me, but their coffee is the best. I park in the gym’s lot and then jog across the street, not surprised when I walk in to find Barrett sitting at one of the tables in the corner. A coffee cup and small paper plate on the table with crumbs from whatever he ate rest on the table. His fingers are flowing smoothly over the keys of a laptop, but his eyes look over at me as he raises his chin. I walk up to the counter and give Mrs. Shaw, the owner, a smile and give her my order. She smiles back and starts preparing my coffee. I scan the small room not seeing but a few other customers. I pay her for my coffee and walk over to Barrett’s table, not asking if I can join him. I sit down and take a sip. Heaven.

  “Heard anything yet?” I ask like he’d hear something in the last few hours since we’d talked. I guess I’m just anxious, hopeful for the first time in my life.

  He looks around then smiles, showing the whites of his straight teeth. “Nah. Just relax. This is the closest you’ve been to making this happen. Sit back and let it fall into place. Won’t be long now.” He takes a drink of his coffee, and I let out a sigh.

  Six years. Six long years of my life I’ve waited for this to come together. Six years I’ve waited to give the girl I swore I’d protect retribution, the one I let down, the one I was afraid wouldn’t be alive by the time I could get back. Six years ago I started my life over, found love from a new family, and four years ago I inherited that family’s fortune after losing the only father figure who had ever shown me love and compassion.

  “So, the gym looks like a good place.”

  His voice drags me back to the present. “Yeah. I actually really like it there. The owner Jase and his wife are really good people.” I take a drink, feeling the deliciousness spread down my throat.

  “I heard what happened.” My eyes widen. “On TV and read about it online. You really helped out a lot, saved his life. Too bad your face was exposed so you couldn’t continue doing the stakeout. Good thing the other guys are keeping it low key.” I know I totally blew everything when I helped Jase but I couldn’t let him die. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s all cool. I don’t think he knows who you really are.” I nod, beyond thankful that I have a team behind me to help out with this mission. I’m smarter now, and I know I can’t do this alone.

  I stand, needing to get over to the gym to open up. “I’m heading over.”

  He looks up from his laptop and smiles. “I’ll be there in a bit, just want to finish up a few things.” I give him a chin raise, pick up my coffee, and head to the door. I wonder what kind of mood Jolie’s in today? After what I did to her, I’d be surprised if she’ll even talk to me.

  Chapter 6

  “And then what happened?”

  Hailey is leaning against the glass container, her chin resting on her hand, asking me a million questions about what happened the other night at Danny’s. Should I tell her about what happened afterwards? In my apartment? I’ve never really had a girlfriend, someone close to tell my secrets to, giggle with, and just hang out. Hell, Jase is the only real friend I’ve had since....

  “He likes you.” My eyes widen as my brows raise. “No, seriously. You’d have to be blind not to see it. He hangs on your every word and the way he looks at you?”

  I lean down, mimicking her. “How does he look at me?” I whisper.

  She smiles. “Like there’s nothing else around. Like you’re his whole world.”

  I swallow hard. A lump lodged in my throat. Then I start laughing and stand up, bowing over with my arms around me. I’m laughing so hard I start snorting. So ladylike.

  “What’s so funny?”

  I freeze in the throes of laughter. I start coughing as I stand up and lean back against the wall. He hurt me, gave me the most amazing orgasm of my life and then told me it was a mistake. My face scrunches, and my heart starts beating wildly in anger. “None of your business,” I growl. I grab the bottle of cleaning spray and the paper towel I’d been using and spray some on the glass counter and start wiping like I didn’t just clean it five minutes ago.

  “What the hell is wrong with her?”

  I look up and see Hailey shrug her shoulders at Tanner, and I give her a dirty look. She looks at me with sadness filling her eyes and tilts her head nonchalantly at him. Anger overrides my ability of being nice as I stand up and cross my arms over my chest, my breathing coming out in storming wisps. “I dunno. Let’s think about it. We have a great day together, followed by a fun night of pool, and then we go back to my apartment and….” I continue to glare at him. “I guess it was a mistake.”

  He holds up his hands, walking quickly over to the counter. “Whoa! Whoa! How about we go talk about this in the office. I’m sure Hailey wouldn’t mind watching the front desk for a minute, would you, Hailey?” He looks at Hailey, and I take a step back.

  “I don’t need to talk ‘in the office’,” I spit, holding up my fingers doing air quotation marks. What the hell is wrong with me? I must be getting ready to start my period.

  He walks angrily around the counter and grabs my upper arm, tugging me from my safe place towards the office. “Thank you, Hailey, for helping out. We’ll only be a minute,” he shouts over his shoulder. What nerve!

  Normally I find his rough exterior, his dark eyes, that goatee that I want to rub my face against and self-brooding very appealing. I mean, I’ve gotten wet just when he looks at me and fantasized doing all kinds of things with him, only having a small taste the other night. Although this overpowering shit, pulling me away like a girl having a temper tantrum, and in front of her friend no less, is the most infuriating, maddening, hottest thing he’s done yet. Okay, maybe not the hottest but damn is it hot in here? After everything I’ve been through in my young life, things that no girl should ev
er have happen to her, I’ve shied away from anyone who even looked like they might come undone, or looked or acted like they might do me harm. Yet having him take control, be protective of me, I’ve never had that. I’ve wanted it, longed for it, my entire life. Of course, I had that once....

  I struggle as we bolt through the doorway, once he gets it unlocked. I pull my arm so hard, I thought I might pull it out of its socket, but he lets me go, standing against the closed door, guarding it. He’s seething mad and gritting his teeth. His beefy arms are crossed over his broad chest. He’s the epitome of sex, and that’s not helping me at all right now.

  “Now. What the fuck is your problem?” Wait! What?

  I lean in, my hand covering the outside of my ear. “Excuse me?” I cross my arms over my chest pushing up my girls, then walk over to him. His eyes follow but look right at my cleavage. I reach out and start poking him in his chest. His eyes move, following my finger. “You’re the one that attacked me as soon as we got inside my door.” His eyes move up to mine. “You’re the one who starting kissing me, pinning me against the door.” His eyes begin to darken, but I’m not stopping now. I’m fired up and ready to trample his ass. “You’re the one that …. that….”

  His eyes look like he could devour me, and I feel it right in my core. I gasp as he grabs my finger, his head lowers, and his mouth is on mine. He presses against me so hard I feel like my lips are being bruised. He pulls my finger up. His free arm wraps around my waist, pulling me against his toned body. God, I should be mad. I am mad! I’m mad that I’m putty in his strong hands. I can’t give in this easy. I put up a little struggle, squirming in his arms, pushing against his firm stomach with my free hand. Then he let’s go of my finger, his hand threading under my hair and grasping the back of my neck, pulling me even closer. I melt in his arms as he turns his head, deepening the kiss. A moan vibrates from my chest and moves up my throat into his mouth. Traitorous body! He gives me a moan back, tugging me into him even tighter until I’m flushed with his body. God, I can feel every plain, every ridge. I feel like I could melt inside him as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, tangling with mine, sliding, gliding, playing a cat and mouse game.

 

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