The Regret (Heartache #2)

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The Regret (Heartache #2) Page 21

by Green, Vicki


  She looks at me with a smile. “Okay. Want to join me?” Damn. Do I!

  I let out a breath and kiss her again. “You go ahead. I need to get my girl some dinner.” She smiles, almost shyly. I stand up and walk to the fridge and start getting out what I need.

  “Must be one lucky girl.” I look over my shoulder and see her walk through the doorway to the hall.

  “No. I’m the one that’s lucky.” She looks down and then I watch her walk into the hall.

  Once I have things ready, I decide to go outside to get some wood. It’s cooler in the evenings here since it’s up in the hills, and the thought of cuddling in front of a fire with Jolie, makes my heart full and my cock hard. There isn’t a ton of wood so I start chopping some, finding the axe leaning against the side of the cabin and the chopping block set up with some whole wood laying nearby. It doesn’t take me long to build up a sweat by the time I pick up an armful and walk around the house. I look up as I get near the porch steps and see smoke bellowing from under the front door. Dropping the wood, I run up the steps, open the door, and cover my mouth with my hand as I squint and make my way inside.

  “JOLIE!”

  The smoke is thick, inhibiting me from looking around for her. I hear her cough, and my head snaps over by the kitchen. I bump into a chair as I get nearer. “Jolie!” More coughing and I finally reach her, bending down, and lifting her in my arms.

  “Wait! Tanner!”

  I turn and make my way outside, both of us coughing as I set her down on the front porch step. I rub my eyes, trying to clear them, tears flowing down my face from the sting of the smoke. Bending over with my hands on my knees, coughing, and still trying to clear my eyes, I finally look over at Jolie, my sight hazy, and find her sitting on the first step – laughing.

  Laughing?

  “What the hell, Jolie?”

  I’d be mad but she’s sitting there in only her tank top and panties and damn if my cock isn’t twitching at the site of her. “Oh, my God! I can’t stop laughing.” Apparently.

  “Wanna let me in on what’s so fucking funny?” Okay, I might be a little irritated. I mean, it scared the shit outta me, seeing all that smoke and not being able to find her in the midst of it. Her arms are wrapped around her waist and letting out a cough in between her laughs. Finally, she stops, wiping the tears from underneath her eyes, and looks up at me.

  “Boy Scout, huh?” I’m so confused. “Did they teach you to make sure the flue is open before lighting a fire?” Shit! The flue. She starts laughing again and coughing, and I start in too. Damn, after everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, it feels so good to laugh, especially over my stupidity. I walk over and sit down next to her and smile.

  “Seems like I remember this happening to Jase too. Guess us macho guys make mistakes too.” I lean into her and she laughs harder. I stand up and hold my hand down to her, helping her up as she continues to laugh. “C’mon. Let’s get the place aired out so I can make dinner and you can finish your bath.”

  Chapter 18

  I laughed so hard yet the wetness coming from my eyes was not all from the smoke that stung them. I walk with him into the smoky cabin and help him open windows to try to air it out. It felt strange talking to Tanner about Stephen, both of us knowing him from a different time, a different place. He kissed my forehead, tenderly, and told me to go take my bath, that he’d start making dinner. I walked back into the bedroom, gathering up a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants, then go down the small hallway to the bathroom, and close the door. After I’ve filled the tub and climbed in, I lay back and close my eyes, all visions and thoughts of Stephen crowding my mind.

  He said he’d come for me. He lied.

  “I’ll always take care of you, Jole.”

  “Just like always.”

  He was going to come back for me.

  I open with my eyes with a start, finding myself sitting up, my arms squeezing around my legs, and my forehead pressed against my knees. The sound of crying echoing through the room, a wail that comes from someone grieving, making my heart break even further. The water sloshes and suddenly he’s behind me, his strong arms wrapping me in a cocoon of his love and strength.

  “Even – though.” I sniffle and sob. “I – got used to – knowing he wasn’t coming back – for me.” I cough and sniffle some more. “I really – never gave up – hoping that he would.” I lay my head on my knees and see him nodding in my peripheral. I feel him kiss my back and cry more, tightening his strong arms around me. “Now I know he was going to come – for me.” I let out a loud sigh intermixed with a sob. “But then he – died.” I turn my head and bury my face into my legs, my shoulders shaking with my sobs. “It’s not fair.” I cry. He starts rubbing my arm while cradling me with the other.

  “I know. It’s not fair. I’m so sorry.” His caring words fill my heart but make me cry harder.

  He’s sorry.

  He has nothing to be sorry about except maybe he should have told me sooner, yet it’s his loss too. He had a brother, one that shared everything with him, just like Stephen did with me. However, he only had him a much shorter time than I did. A taste of his love, his laughter, his huge heart. He didn’t have him nearly as long as I did yet here he is holding and consoling me.

  He came for me.

  Brought me home, and then surprised me by bringing me here to get away and let me have some time to grieve. I quiet down and he pulls me back until I’m lying against his chest, his arms still wrapped tightly around me. Taking care of me.

  “Just like always.”

  Maybe he’s more like Stephen than he knows. Maybe that’s why I was so attracted to him from the beginning, drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame. Of course, he’s hot, masculine, rough. Mysterious. Dangerous to my heart. After Stephen, I swore I’d never find happiness. Never give my heart to anyone again. And then Tanner showed up. I was a goner but I gave it a good fight for as long as I could. My heart was just stronger than me.

  We lay here until the water turns cool, and my tears have dried. No words are spoken as he stands, gets out of the tub and walks over to the linen closet to get a towel. He leans down and helps me stand and out of the tub. I stand there, not looking in the mirror, as he tenderly dries me then proceeds to dress me. He gets dressed and takes my hand, leading me into the living room and setting me down on the couch. I look up as he walks outside, quickly to return with an armful of wood. Soon a roaring fire is in the fireplace, warming me. He walks to the kitchen, and I watch him make dinner.

  I didn’t realize how hungry I am until I sit down at the table and smell the aroma of the skillet pork chops, gravy, biscuits, and broccoli sitting before me. We didn’t talk through dinner, both of us ravenous and me – not knowing what to say. I know he knows what I’m going through, what I’m feeling. He went through his own grief when it happened, but it’s as if he’s going through it again with me. My grief. Feeling it. Sharing it. I’m stuffed by the time I’m done, eating more than I normally do for a meal.

  “I’m glad you ate so well,” he remarks as he stands and starts gathering the dishes. I stand and pick up my plate. “No. I’ll do that. Why don’t you go relax?” Always taking care of me. I smile, giving him a slight nod, and walk over to the living room, picking up the blanket from the couch and wrapping it around me. I walk to the front door and stop, looking at him over my shoulder. He’s standing with his back away from me, in front of the sink. Tilting my head, I watch the muscles in his strong arms flex as he washing the dishes. He stands there in a t-shirt, jeans, and barefoot. Sexy. I turn back, open the door, and walk out onto the porch. I walk over and sit down on the wooden porch swing, bringing up my legs until my feet are flat on the edge of the seat in front of me. Looking up, I see so many stars, the night so clear tonight.

  “I wish we could be at our house right now, lying
out in our backyard and gazing at this beautiful sky.”

  He loved to dream that we were together in our own house. My favorite dream.

  “I wish we were too.” I sigh. The stars twinkle as a cool breeze blows over me. I shiver. I look over as he pulls the blanket up over me and smiles. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He rests his head on his hand and looks into my eyes.

  “When I get that house, we’ll be together, and I’ll take care of you the way you should have always been taken care of. Treated right.”

  He’s like my knight in shining armor. I know I’m at the age that most girls would fall in love with him, look at him like how sexy and gorgeous he is, hoping he’d like them back. I guess I do feel that way, a little, but it’s more like he’s my big brother. Feeling like other girls would is just ‘eww’. I don’t think I could feel that way about him. We’ve always been best friends.

  I feel him before I see him. The swing takes a small dip as he sits down beside me. I unwrap that side of the blanket from around me and open it, and he scoots closer to me, taking the edge of it and pulling it around him as his free arm moves behind me. I lay my head on his shoulder as he pulls the blanket around us. Neither of us speaks for a long time. I’m still looking up at the sky.

  “Stephen used to tell me he was going to get a house. Our house.” I smile. “He said we would lay out in our backyard like we would lay out in our lot and look up at the stars together.”

  “He used to tell me about that house,” Tanner said, his voice rough.

  I look up at him, eager for more.

  He smiles. “He said he would build it. It would have adobe walls….” He looks down at me. “Like that abandoned building. He said he wanted it to be just like where you all used to pretend that place was yours. He wanted to make it real for you.”

  I look back up at the sky.

  “He was something special.” His voice cracks.

  “Yes. He was,” I say softly.

  I don’t know how long we sat there, both of us not uncomfortable in the silence, only the sounds of nature could be heard. Finally, I started yawning and couldn’t seem to stop. Without a word, he stood, took my hand, and I followed him into the cabin. I stayed with him as he locked up and turned off the lights, then we went to the bedroom, undressed in silence, and climbed under the covers. I rolled right into his loving arms, laid my head on his chest, and closed my eyes. Sleep came to me quickly.

  “But you don’t have a bra.” He winks.

  I give him a smirk, walk into the bathroom and return holding the bra I was wearing yesterday. “It’ll do for now.” I turn around and walk back into the bathroom with a smile. I quickly change and walk out into the living room and look around. He’s not here. Shrugging, I walk out the front door and hop down the steps, feeling suddenly invigorated. I stop short when I see him standing there, shaking out his arms and jumping in place. “What are you doing?”

  He smiles, and my heart speeds up. “I’m going with you.”

  After a great breakfast that he cooked, I decided a run would be perfect. I hate not working out and thought the fresh air would clear my head. At first, he told me I shouldn’t go, remembering everything that happened around here to Jase and Alena. Said it gave him the creeps. My tough guy. When I told him it didn’t bother me, he thought he’d stop me by reminding me that I didn’t have a bra. “It’s not healthy for a woman’s girls to bounce like that.” I almost laughed because I’d laid out my wet bra from yesterday over the shower rod to dry. I don’t know if maybe he expected me to wallow around all day in my grief but I had other plans.

  I take off in a jog with a smile on my face. “Fine with me.”

  Running through a wooded area is a lot better workout than the treadmill. I stumbled a couple of times but hear Tanner hot on my heels. A smile overtakes me as I feel the sun through the trees, a light sheen of sweat already forming on my body. I trip over a rock and start to lose my balance but strong arms grab ahold of mine, steadying me. I look up as he passes me, checking over my body to make sure I’m okay. I let out a laugh as he waggles his eyebrows at me then he runs ahead. Guess I need to kick my run up a notch.

  The trees are thick, the rocks and sticks plentiful. It’s beautiful here. Quiet. Serene. I could get used to this. There’s no hustle of a busy day, no cars, no horns, no clients or customers. Now I feel guilty that Tanner and I had to take off work today. I have no idea what he told Jase or how he’ll handle everything today alone. I turn around a corner and stop abruptly. Tanner’s standing there facing me, blocking my way.

  “I think we should turn around and head back.” The look on his face is serious. Concerned.

  I walk over to him. My breathing labored, adrenaline still rushing through me. “Why?” As I walk nearer, I look behind him and see a clearing through the trees. “What’s over there?” When I reach him, I try to look around him, but he steps to the side, blocking my view. I take a step back and cross my arms over my chest, of course his eyes go right to my girls. Rolling my eyes, I give him a smirk. “I’m not scared, Tanner. Is that the pond and waterfall where Jase and Alena were attacked?” His eyes snapped up to mine. He opens his mouth to speak, but I don’t wait for him. I move to his other side and brush passed him quickly and start jogging through the clearing. A few feet out into the opening, I stop. I scan the area from the left to the right until I see the pond and waterfall. “This is amazing!” I feel him before I hear his running footsteps. The connection we have is so deep it almost scares me.

  “I didn’t think you’d want to be anywhere near the place where everything happened to Jase and Alena. I was trying to keep you from coming in here.” I look over at him, watch as he looks around. “Wow. This is really beautiful here.” Exactly.

  I start walking towards the pond. “What’s there to be afraid of? That happened months ago and the person who did it is dead. There’s nothing but beauty left here.” I end up walking close to the edge of the pond then around it towards the waterfall. The sound of the rushing water fills the air, sending off a slight breeze, and cooling off my overheated body. It feels wonderful. I turn around and start walking backwards, looking into Tanner’s eyes. “We should make a picnic lunch and bring it out here.” I smile. He follows me and nods, his eyes lighting up. I turn around and walk until I stop a few feet from where the waterfall is at the base of the pond. “Now I know why Jase brought Alena here. This is breathtaking. A small piece of heaven in the middle of nowhere.” Tanner walks up behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist. I lean my head back against his chest and we stand there looking at the view.

  “Jase wasn’t sure if he was going to keep the cabin, after everything. It’s been in his family for as long as he can remember. He’s just not sure Alena will ever want to come back here and with the baby on the way and all….” I tilt my head back and look up at the serene look on his face. So breathtakingly handsome. His eyes look down at me, his lips so close that all I’d have to do is lean up on my toes to kiss him. So, I do. His arms tighten around me. His tongue doesn’t hesitate to move into my mouth as I part my lips invitingly. The kiss is sweet, tender, but there’s longing there. Want. Need. He smiles against my lips. “I now love it here.” I let out a laugh and kiss him hard but quick. Taking a few steps, I turn and look at him from over my shoulder.

  “Race you.” I take off in a run, knowing he loves a good challenge. I give it my all but his longer legs catch up to me then pass me quickly. “Hey!” I yell with a laugh as I push harder to catch up.

  I follow him into the wooded area, stumbling as I run over the rough terrain. It’s slows him down as well, and I’ve almost caught up to him when he stops, right before going into the area by the cabin. I run right into him. “Omph!” Grabbing his waist, his shirt soaked with his sweat, I look around him and up into his wide eyes. “Tanner? What’s wrong?” I follow where his
eyes are looking and see Barrett standing on the front porch of the cabin. “What is he doing here,” I whisper, afraid to find out the reason. I feel Tanner’s hand take mine, his fingers threading through and squeezing as he starts to walk out of the woods. My heart doesn’t have a chance to slow down from my run as its beats fast for another reason.

  Fear.

  I can’t seem to take my eyes from Barrett as he walks down the steps but quickly look up at Tanner as he nods to him. “What’s up, Barrett?” The fear builds in my stomach, turning into knots. I hold his hand in a tight grip as we near Barrett. He looks serious, uneasy. This can’t be good.

  Barrett looks at me then back at Tanner as we reach him. “Uh. We need to talk.” No, it’s not good.

  Tanner squeezes my hand but doesn’t take his eyes from Barrett. “Whatever you need to tell me, you can say it in front of Jolie. She knows everything.” Barrett’s eyes snap to mine and hesitates before he looks back at Tanner.

  “Okay then. We have enough evidence. I’m heading out there in about an hour. Thought you’d want to know.” He crosses his arms over his broad chest. The seriousness in his words hits me hard. They have enough to go arrest my foster parents, rescue the kids they have, and put those abusive assholes away.

  “We’ll get ready. I need to take Jolie home and call Jase to let him know I’m going out of town for a few days. I’ll be ready.”

  “Good.” Barrett lets out a breath. “I’ll come pick you up.”

  My heart lodges in my throat. Never did I think this would happen. To imagine those ungrateful, terrible people could get locked up for their horrible crimes of taking money from the state just to board young children to do their bidding and unleash cruelty on them. Would ever be caught and tried, maybe locked up for the rest of their lives. Maybe if I get on the stand, state what all they did to me, maybe others will step up, and we can put them away forever. “I’m going with you,” I tell them.

 

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