by KC Burn
Hayden’s tongue swept inside, and Jez met it as they devoured each other’s mouths, the heat of the kiss rising fast and furious, hot enough to rival the sun.
Jez moaned and pushed himself closer, although he wasn’t sure that was possible without being naked.
As though reading his mind, Hayden slipped one hand underneath Jez’s shirt while the other continued to massage his ass in a rhythm so reminiscent of fucking that Jez couldn’t help but move his hips in time, not quite ready to start dry humping but so close the distinction almost wasn’t worth making.
Without breaking contact, Hayden moved his lips down Jez’s chin to his neck, stubble rasping against his skin, sending goose bumps down his nape. Jez sucked in a few heaving breaths, but Hayden seemed determined that Jez forget how to breathe, and bit gently at the spot where neck met shoulder, one of Jez’s favorite spots.
The breathy moan he let out told Hayden all he needed to know, and he attacked that same spot with a sensual precision that made Jez’s head spin and his cock leak precum into his briefs.
It hadn’t been this good in so damned long. Maybe hadn’t been this good ever.
Something hit his leg, but Jez ignored it to focus on Hayden’s hot mouth and sharp teeth, a tiny part of him hoping Hayden was leaving a mark.
Then something bounced off his leg again, accompanied by a sharp bark. Fang.
The noise pierced Hayden’s sensual haze as well and, almost drugged, they pulled back and stared down at the little dog who wanted attention.
The lust, like champagne in his blood, faded enough for Jez to realize what he was doing and who he was doing it with. Oddly in sync again, they broke apart, unable to look each other in the eye and still sporting uncomfortable erections.
Just because Hayden had surprised him with his love of dogs didn’t mean Jez should throw himself at him.
Hayden cleared his throat nervously. “Uh. Sorry about that. I was, uh, out of line.”
Jez readjusted his pants instead of rolling his eyes. Like that had been all on Hayden. “Me too. That was, uh….” Awesome but too fast? They didn’t know each other very well, and hookups were all well and good, but not when you lived with them. Besides, his experience with Jayson had made him a lot more wary of getting involved—even in just a quickie—until he got to know the man better. Friend of his brother’s or not, he did not know Hayden all that well.
“God. Don’t… don’t tell your brother about that, okay?”
Just like that, the rest of his arousal faded. Hayden might love dogs, but that didn’t erase the other reasons Jez shouldn’t get involved with him, and Jez would do well to remember that.
“Don’t worry. He’s the last person I’d tell.” Jez strove to keep the ice out of his tone, but judging by Hayden’s grimace, he hadn’t been successful.
“Does Fang need to go out or something?” Hayden still wouldn’t meet his gaze, which was fine and fucking dandy. “I took him out in the yard a couple of hours ago and he peed then.”
“He should be fine. Probably just wants to play.” How weird. Fang might be the only way to maintain some semblance of normalcy between them. He almost said they should thank Fang for preventing them from making a bigger mistake than kissing, but he stopped himself. No one wanted to hear they were a mistake, however much they might agree, and if Hayden tried to say anything like that, Jez would be tempted to punch him in the mouth.
“I’m going to make lunch. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah, I got something while I was out with Fang. I didn’t know when you’d be home.”
Not like eating meals together was their thing. One time did not make a thing. But that reminded him. “What are you doing home, even? I thought you were at work.”
Hayden turned to rummage in the fridge, pulling out a beer, while Jez started putting together a hummus sandwich. His fingers still trembled a bit, given the seesaw of emotional upheavals over the past hour. It would be a while before he settled down.
“Yeah, I traded off with one of the guys in C crew. His kid has a recital or something, so we swapped shifts. I’ll be working Wednesday instead. I didn’t bother marking up the calendar because we just arranged it a couple of days ago, but I’ll try to be better about that.”
Jez bit his lip against saying not to bother, that he wasn’t going to be here long enough, but it was almost painful to keep repeating that, because he was strangely comfortable here. Probably that would all change once filming started and he got to know more people. Moved into West Hollywood. Mingled with his people. But for now, he didn’t want to think about moving out, and it didn’t seem like Hayden did either. And that better not be because he was hoping to get a convenient bed warmer and cocksucker, because that ship wasn’t ever going to sail.
“Did you have an audition or something today?”
Jez wrinkled his nose. An audition? Why would he audition for anything when he had a job lined up, contract signed and sealed? Eh, there’d be other times to clue Hayden in on his work and career if Hayden demonstrated any real interest. “No, I was looking for a used car.”
“Oh yeah? How did that go?”
He gripped the knife handle tighter. “Not so great. I felt a bit like chum in a pool full of sharks.”
Hayden laughed. “Yeah, I can see that. When I bought my truck, I knew exactly what I wanted, what upgrades I’d be happy with and which ones I wasn’t going to pay for no matter what. Even that was a bit of a struggle, getting them to listen to me. Without knowing what you wanted, they probably hoped to convince you to take the first shitbucket you came across, or the most expensive car on the lot.”
“Or both, at different times.” Jez twisted his lips. It had been annoying as fuck.
“Or both. Not surprising. Wish I had some advice to give you.”
“Well, I did test-drive about half-a-dozen cars and came to the conclusion they couldn’t pay me to drive them, so there’s that. Process of elimination.”
“Sure, sure. With that technique you’ll have a car by January 2030 or thereabouts.”
Jez laughed ruefully. “Truth.” The dog and the car smoothed out some of the awkwardness between them, for which Jez was thankful. He didn’t want to deal with any more conflict, from any source. “Watch a movie with me?” He couldn’t face adult responsibilities more taxing than doing his laundry for the rest of the day.
“Sounds good.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, Fang acted as a chaperone through three movies until they went to bed. Separately. Jez could own to a tiny bit of disappointment over that, even while conceding it was for the best. For both of them.
HAYDEN WAS so fucking happy to be home. As the weather got drier and windier, with hot Santa Ana winds blowing, work got tenser as the danger of fires, especially wildfires, increased.
Just being away from work wasn’t the only reason he liked coming home these days. Jez had dropped into his life not long ago, but Hayden enjoyed coming home to a friendly face and a wiggly pup. He could even overlook, mostly, Jez’s tendency to leave books and jackets lying around wherever he last finished with them.
Fang greeted him when he opened the door, curling into a C shape as he wagged his tail.
“Hey, boy. Your daddy home?”
Hayden couldn’t remember if Jez was supposed to be at home today or not, but he couldn’t hear the television.
“C’mon, Fang. We’ll grab a quick snack, then head up to bed.” Fang’s treats now had a place in Hayden’s cupboards.
In the kitchen, he stared down at the dirty dishes in the sink, gripping the counter tightly to keep from swearing.
Could he smell mold? Or was that just what tofu scramble remnants smelled like? It had to be too soon for mold to grow. Did tofu even get moldy?
With a shiver of disgust, he rinsed the dishes in hot water and loaded the dishwasher. He hesitated a few minutes, then started the dishwasher. Normally he was conscientious about not running the dishwasher until it was full so he didn’t waste
water, but that paled next to his worry that there might have been mold on those dishes.
Once the comforting whir of the dishwasher started up, Hayden cleaned the sink and was able to relax.
“What the fuck?” Jez roared into the kitchen, hair dripping, towel wrapped around lean hips.
Fucking hell. It wasn’t easy to hold on to his anger in the face of Jez’s water-streaked skin.
“You’re home.”
“Yeah. I was taking a shower; then the water got freezing. I didn’t know what was going on down here.”
“Dishes.” Hayden gritted his teeth, holding back the rest of what he wanted to say. Hayden didn’t want to scare Jez out of his house. Rocking the boat meant changes, and while Jez had been an unexpected addition to his life, the boat was on an even keel and he wanted it to stay that way.
“You could have left them. I was going to do them after my shower.”
Left them. Hayden wanted to run upstairs and have a shower of his own. “No. Dirty dishes in the sink…. I can’t relax or eat knowing they’re there. I hate it.”
“Hate?” Jez’s eyebrows lifted. “That’s a strong word.”
“Please, please, either wash them or put them in the dishwasher as soon as you’re done.” See him ask nicely? He could do this roommate thing.
“Okay. I’ll do better.”
Hayden would just have to accept that at face value.
“Are you okay?” Jez stepped close and peered at him. The scent of Jez’s soap wafted up to Hayden’s nostrils, and he bit back a groan.
“Just tired. Nothing bad happened, but the shift seemed long.”
Jez suddenly seemed to realize he was dripping on the kitchen floor, and his ears went red. “Oh shit. Sorry. Let me finish getting dressed and I’ll wipe this up.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.” Then he’d grab a quick sandwich before face-planting on his bed. Probably end up dreaming about Jez, but there were worse things to dream about.
JEZ SCRUBBED the sink until it shone. Hopefully that would appease Hayden. Not that he was even around to care. He’d left for his shift earlier this morning, while Jez had been doing yoga, but Jez hadn’t forgotten his scolding yesterday. It had been a weird fucking moment. Within a few moments, Hayden displayed anger, lust, disgust, and exhaustion, like a whirlwind of emotion that ended up draining him. Jez thought Hayden was overreacting about the dishes, but Jez liked living here and didn’t want to piss Hayden off. Especially before he started working for real.
His first preproduction meeting was in three hours, and his stomach had been filled with mutant butterflies since he woke up. He wasn’t at the point of discussing that sort of fear with Hayden, even if he’d had time before heading into work, and Jez had no friends he could call. His friends back in New York had sided with his ex, and Jez would never forgive them for that. But that left him terrifyingly bereft.
Cleaning until he had to leave was insane, but he couldn’t concentrate on books or movies or yoga. He grabbed his phone and dialed the only other number in there that mattered.
“Hey, M. Want to grab lunch or a coffee?” Not that he’d be able to choke down food or coffee, but a cup of tea and company would be welcome.
“Hi, Jez. Uh. When would you want to do that?”
Jez gritted his teeth at Miguel’s hesitant tone. It had been easier getting Miguel to talk to him when he’d been on the other side of the continent. “Today.” He paused as he considered telling Miguel he wanted company because he was nervous about his first day.
“Oh. Today. Sorry. I can’t.”
“You can’t? Surely you have to eat lunch.”
“Yeah, yeah, but I’m meeting someone.”
Jez barely kept in his snort. Either he had a woman coming over for “lunch” or he was still avoiding Jez. A bit too coincidental that Miguel was meeting someone, but Jez couldn’t force him to go anywhere. Might be nice if plans with Jez didn’t fall last in Miguel’s priorities. “Right. Another time.”
“Absolutely.”
Jez disconnected the call, wishing they still had clunky phones like they did in old movies. Those looked damn satisfying to thunk down in a rage.
Guess he’d clean some more. At least Hayden would be happy with him.
Chapter 5
THE PAST two weeks had been better than Jez could have anticipated, aside from his inability to meet up with his brother. He had a few preproduction meetings and managed to not only leave them with more confidence that this job was perfect for him but also meet one of the set dressers and a makeup artist. They were friends and had asked him out for drinks. He hadn’t sensed either of them angling for dates or sex either, which was a fucking relief. Paul and Tyson were good-looking, but they weren’t his type, and right now he needed friends more than he needed sex.
He hadn’t brought Paul or Tyson back to his place because he hadn’t wanted to run the risk of Hayden becoming interested in either of them. Maybe that made him a shallow, selfish person, especially since he’d decided he and Hayden were a bad idea. That didn’t change the fact that the air was thick with unresolved sexual tension, and Jez’s cock, with the renewed vigor of a teenager, demanded satisfaction often enough he was almost chafed. Neither of them ever spoke about The Kiss, and most frequently, he imagined what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted.
The Kiss might have created new tension, but Fang had broken some of the walls between Jez and Hayden. Some of them. Hayden grumbled under his breath about how messy things were and if Jez left the dishes in the sink too long. Jez had done his best to live like Hayden wanted, but he was getting desperate to Jackson Pollock up the stark white walls in a wild fit of coloristic expression. Decorating a temporary residence would be far too presumptuous. But Hayden didn’t care about Fang’s scattered toys and chews. Hell, Hayden provided half of his doggie booty, including yet another set of puppy steps so Fang could get up on Hayden’s bed. They’d also started leaving their bedroom doors open all the way during the day and partially during the night to allow Fang options. The sexual tension might have grown exponentially, but they were nonetheless settling into a comfortable roommate situation. And if the open door gave Jez the occasional glimpse of naked torso while Hayden changed? Well, he deserved a bit of a reward, didn’t he?
Fantasies aside, he’d been doing his best to start his life again. Tyson and Paul had given him enough advice that he’d been able to settle on a used Prius; shown him some of WeHo’s hot spots, although the crowds still set off his anxiety; and were intent on helping him find a decent apartment. That was going somewhat slower, since part of him didn’t want to leave. He was comfortable at Hayden’s place. Fang adored Hayden and Hayden adored Fang right back. There was a yard. And that sunroom had become a perfect workout area and practice studio. He wasn’t going to find an apartment that met even a quarter of the amenities he had at Hayden’s, and it wouldn’t have the perk of sometimes seeing Hayden after his workout in thin cotton clothes that got sweaty, translucent, and clung in the best way.
He hadn’t told either of his new friends about The Kiss. Or the problems he’d had with Jayson. He wasn’t ready to trust a friend any more than he was ready to trust a man. Hayden managed to squeak under his radar a bit because Jez had technically known him his entire life, yet even Hayden didn’t get carte blanche in the trust department. Nor did Miguel.
When Jez had left this morning, Fang had been curled up on Hayden’s bed. Yet another thing that didn’t trigger Hayden’s almost obsessive cleaning compulsion. Fang didn’t shed much, but what little he did didn’t bother Hayden at all. Fortunately Jez’s allergies were confined to pollinating plants.
Hayden had gone to Vegas with some friends for his four days off, and he should be returning today. Jez had never been, but now that he was living just a few hours away, he’d have to check it out. It had been weird, saying goodbye to Hayden as he drove off. As far as Jez knew, Hayden hadn’t gotten laid since he’d moved in almost th
ree weeks ago, and selfishly, Jez wanted to keep it that way. The last thing he wanted to do was witness Hayden bringing someone home. But it wasn’t any easier to imagine Hayden going away and getting laid in another state.
Jez met Paul and Tyson for brunch in Echo Park, wandered along Sunset Boulevard checking out some of the shops, then hit the grocery store on the way home. Hayden hadn’t told him when he’d be home, but Jez had texted him anyway, asking if he should pick up any groceries for him. Hayden hadn’t answered, and Jez tried not to obsess about why not. It was getting close to dinnertime, but for all he knew, Hayden was out of range of cell towers, or in a venue too loud to hear the chime of an incoming text. Hayden hadn’t given him a more specific return time than “sometime on Sunday.”
Finding parking on the street near Hayden’s was more challenging than normal, even for a weekend. Someone must be having a party or something.
He slung the bag of groceries over his shoulder and headed up the walk. The atypical raucous laughter of several men indicated a party. Jez didn’t know the neighbors well enough to get invited, even if Hayden had been. Still, Jez wanted to get caught up on Dancing with the Stars, one of several shows he’d taken to watching on the sly when Hayden was working. They had a number of shows and movies in common, but Jez hadn’t bothered asking if Hayden liked any of the softer things Jez liked. Instinctually, he suspected Hayden would not consider them manly enough. A man who’d been an excellent football player in high school—not that Jez had any way to judge football skills—and was now a well-respected firefighter who owned his own home, should be proud, and yet, the opinion of others weighed heavily on Hayden.
Jez didn’t understand it. He’d hidden so much of himself growing up that it had become unbearable. When he’d admitted his truth to his family, they’d been far from accepting, and rather than stifle himself any further, he’d left. Hayden… well, Hayden still confused him.