by Beers, B. A.
“I’m ready now, if you don’t mind,” Sami responded, appreciating Grandma Jo’s kind offer.
Grandma Jo did an about-face. “You have barely touched your breakfast, child,” she observed. Grandma Jo saw Sami’s lower lip began to tremble. “Okay,” Grandma Jo let down her defenses, “if you finish your milk at least, I will remove the tray.”
Nodding, Sami picked up the glass of milk, and Grandma Jo stepped over to her and took the tray. Sami stood up, and moving to the door, she continued to take sips of the ‘deal maker’. Grandma Jo didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the determined look in Sami’s eyes as she went past. Turning to the two dogs in the yard, Grandma Jo shook her head at them in frustration, and followed Sami into the house.
After the bath, Sami felt much better. The combination of the scented hot water and the pain pill eased the aches she had experienced earlier. Grandma Jo had helped Sami dry her body. She also had re-bandaged her arm, and was now combing her hair. Grandma Jo, she thought suddenly, was a great lady. She never once left her side. Sami closed her eyes, relishing the attention focused on her. It has been such a long time since anyone had done this simple task for her. The ringing of the doorbell didn’t faze her. She was too lost in the effects of the drugs to notice when Grandma Jo left to answer the door.
***
Mark saw Jon’s car parked outside Grandma Jo’s house when he rounded the corner. At least, Mark thought, Jon has been able to interact with Sami without his presence. Maybe his being late was a good thing. Hopefully, Jon will help him map out a feasible outline for treatment. Switching off the engine, Mark jumped out of the truck. Now fully charged again, he almost raced toward the front door.
With a worried expression of her face, Grandma Jo stepped out of the door before he had a chance to cover half the distance, causing him to slow his pace.
“What is it?” His voice was forced, fearing the answer.
“Nothing,” she replied. “I just wanted to catch you before you entered.”
Mark stopped and crammed his hands deep into his jacket’s pockets, not liking the vibrations he was receiving from her.
“Dr. P. is here,” she began. “They are sitting at the kitchen table. The conversation has been constant for the last ninety minutes. Mark, I really should not be listening to them, but the volume level at times…I just can’t help it.” She began to cry. Mark opened his arms and she walked into his embrace. He stroked her back gently.
“She is switching between her two personalities rapidly. I still can’t get used to her actions. It is a bit scary to hear her.” Grandma Jo’s voice shook with each sob. “Where do you think this will lead? Do you think she will ever recover completely? It seems so unreal.”
“Don’t fret. Have faith in her and my ability.” Mark tried to console her.
“You know I am a worry-wart. Let me worry. Then, I know that all will be fine,” Grandma Jo reminded him.
“Okay, have it your way,” he chuckled as he released her. “Stay here for a minute. I am going in the house.” Stepping past her, he opened the door and entered.
Grandma Jo was right, Mark thought as he took his first steps in the house. Sami’s volume level was a lot higher than it needed to be. He noticed that even the dogs were visibly upset by her tone. He reached out to comfort the pets. Shaking his head, he wondered whether her voice would give out soon, for if she kept this up much longer she wouldn’t be able to talk for days.
Hesitating at the entryway, he didn’t know if his appearance would calm her or send her even farther over the edge. Attitude, Mark heard Pat’s voice. Upbeat attitude should calm her wild side. Don’t let the beast rule her.
"Thanks, that’s an excellent idea, dear", he voiced quietly as he passed into the room.
***
“I’m not a little girl anymore,” Sami screamed. With her back to him, Mark wasn’t able to see her face, but he could tell by her posture and the knitted afghan around her shoulders, that she didn’t like what they were discussing.
Jon spotted him across the room. Their eyes met and locked. Watching Jon rise from the chair and make his way over to him, Mark noticed that his mentor had changed little over the years. The full head of hair, mustache and goatee were now silver instead of dark, and it only enhanced instead of detracted from his overall appearance. His six-foot erect presence made him a very formable figure. Yet, Mark knew that Jon’s true outstanding attribute was his face. His smile would lighten-up the room, and it was certainly a face you knew instinctually that you could trust.
“Jon, old friend, it’s been too long. How was your trip? You look great. Retirement does seem to agree with you,” Mark said in a cheery voice, ignoring Sami.
Jon caught Mark’s positive mannerisms and greeted him in the same upbeat tones. “You’re right, it has been too long. Great to see you, son.”
They shook hands warmly. Before they released, Mark added a gentle pressure to the grip. Jon nodded that he approved and understood. Mark could feel Sami’s eyes burning into his back. Let her look, he thought, not turning around. Pulling out a chair, Mark sat, indicating to Jon to follow suit. “Sorry for not being here when you arrived,” he apologized. “I really expected to return earlier.”
“Not a problem,” Jon eased into the conversation, keeping his tone as light as Mark’s. “I’ve made good use of that time.”
“Good, good.” Mark applauded Jon mentally. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t waste this golden opportunity.” Knowing that they would talk later, Mark deliberately changed directions in the flow of the conversation. “How are Cindy and the kids?”
While Jon answered his question, Mark switched his awareness to Sami. Although he couldn’t see her directly, he was able to gage her reactions by her breathing and some unknown power that linked them.
Jon noticed Mark’s intense concentration and knew that he needed to continue his narrative until Mark refocused on him.
Mark sensed that Sami’s breathing had changed, and felt Sami was in a calmer mood. His entrance into the room, and his refusal to enter her game had taken the wind out of her sails. Tough, Mrs. Carter, he thought, I am not going to fall into your trap. Mark returned his attention to Jon, who he could tell was playing the role to the hilt. He smiled, thinking that once you give a therapist permission to talk, they could go on for hours. Jon saw Mark’s expression, and concluded the story of his grandson quickly.
Mark lightly laughed. “Well, it does seem like you have your hands full. Sounds to me like you could use a break from retirement.”
Jon answered, returning the light laughter. “I guess it does appear that way. What do you have in mind?”
Keeping his tone light, Mark asked. “How about playing doctor for awhile?”
Jon didn’t blink at the request. “Grandma Jo broached the subject to me when I first stepped in the house.” Mark swallowed hard as he didn’t like the change in tone from Jon. “To tell you the truth, at first I didn’t relish the idea, but now that I have had the experience again…” he indicated in Sami’s direction, “I believe I will.”
Mark’s spirits took flight at Jon’s decision. He now needed to get this ‘dog and pony act’ on the road. “Thanks, Jon,” he said in a quiet tone.
Not waiting for a response, he turned to look directly at Sami. Her battered face revealed no emotions. Where are you, Sami? He knew that she had locked them out of her mind. Turning back to Jon, he finalized the plans.
***
The cabin, Sami thought longingly, could it be possible that she would see it? She never expected to step foot into it again, believing it was part of her past that was buried like all the rest. Fear raced through her, yet it was edged with excitement. The memories held within those walls were overpowering. She recalled that her mother’s parents had owned the place in the woods first. Its ownership had passed to her parents, then to her.
The image of the beautiful, rustic barn-like cabin appeared before her. Loving feelings consumed her, for
it had always been like visiting a friend during her early years. She focused on the front porch that overlooked the small pond, and saw the chair that was her father’s post when they were there. A peace settled deep within her as she remembered the hours that she would sit at his feet ‘watching the grass grow’ he used to say, and listening to the wind blow through the tall pines. She still cherished the talks they would have, discussing the power of nature and allowing it to calm their souls. Her mother would take up residence in the cabin’s kitchen – cooking, baking, and cleaning.
Is it possible? Could it be true? Would she soon be at the only place in the world that she really felt whole and at peace? She hoped that this would not be only a dream, one that would disappear when she opened her eyes.
***
FOURTEEN
Preparations for the trip took a lot longer than Mark had wanted, even with the aid of Jon and David. David had returned to the house with Sami’s car running in tip-top condition. He had even taken it through emission testing for her, and registered it online. Yet, everything seemed to prolong their leaving. Supplies were gathered from both Grandma Jo’s and Sami’s houses. Clothes were packed. A map was drawn to aid David’s arrival. Mark also wrote his cell phone number on the map in case David got lost. Keys were given to David for Mark’s truck and Grandma Jo’s house. Instructions for Ollie’s care were provided.
Jon and Mark conferred for several hours going over Sami’s care and others that Mark had scheduled. He placed a phone call to Stacy in Flagstaff to arrange for her to join them.
Now, finally in the car and driving north along the highway, Mark had a strange feeling that the riders in this car would not be the same when they returned to the ‘Valley of the Sun’. How and what would cause this change, he hadn’t the slightest clue, but he knew somehow that this was the correct path to achieve the goals he had set for her. He was anxious to get to their destination, not only physically to the cabin, but also to rejoining her mind. His foot pressure increased on the accelerator at these thoughts, and the car sped along the highway.
Mark re-adjusted the rear-view mirror so he could keep an eye on Sami, who was sitting in the back seat with Molly. She had insisted that he drive as she hopped into the back. Remembering that he had not found a driver’s license in her wallet, he agreed. He was worried at first when they entered the car, since the placement of the occupants matched the exact seating arrangement as when she had lost her family in the accident. Sami, however, didn’t seem to notice. He could see her staring out the window.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Grandma Jo’s hands joined tightly on her lap. Releasing the mirror with his right hand, he dropped his hand over hers and squeezed gently. Seeing this bottled-up stress within her, he decided to engage her in light conversation to ease the tension in the car. He hoped that Sami would join in, but he wasn’t going to force her. Mark easily kept up the light repartee with Grandma Jo, who had relaxed as the miles flew by. She was now providing him with a history of the places they passed. Being relatively new to the state, he was captivated by her stories.
Sami had not joined into their conversation in the last hour, but Mark had kept an eye on her the whole time. Shortly after he had started talking to Grandma Jo, she had settled back in the seat, wrapped the afghan around her shoulders, and had closed her eyes. Mark was thankful that he had included a sedative along with the pain pill before leaving for they were rapidly approaching mile-marker 311. It was near that marker where her accident had happened years ago. Although it was in the other direction, and the highway was separated in the mountainous terrain, he wasn’t sure if it could be seen from this side of the road. He knew that she was not ready for that scene yet. Mark made a mental note to give her the same combination of pills for the trip back.
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard Grandma Jo’s worried question. “Mark, is it going to snow?”
Mark thoughts had been so involved with Sami that he hadn’t realized that the sky was darkening and was showing signs of a snowstorm brewing. He had driven in storms before, but he was usually in his truck, not a car. He reached for the directions that Sami had provided, and gauged that there was still about an hour’s worth of driving. He had figured that he would make the cabin just prior to sunset, but he had not anticipated a storm.
He nodded in answer to Grandma Jo’s question, and hoped that the weather would hold until they reached the cabin. He was in a race now, and he heard the after-burners of the car’s engine kick in as the speed of the car matched his rapid heartbeat. In the rear-view mirror, he saw Sami stir in reaction to the sound of the engine. Keeping his tone light, not wanting to upset her, he reassured her that he was just getting the built-up carbon out of the system. She closed her eyes again, relaxing, stating that her father always would do the same thing. The car rocketed toward the darkening sky as Mark prayed for a safe arrival before the storm hit.
As the miles and the minutes sped by quickly, Mark kept a fearful eye on the sky. His luck was holding out, as he spotted the exit he needed. Leaving the highway, he found himself on a well-maintained gravel road where he could keep his speed if he was careful.
Sami was now alert, he noticed in the mirror, and he asked her for specific directions. “It’s not far now,” she replied happily, as she guided him to an almost hidden pathway about four miles off the highway.
“Well, we will have to mark that better for David,” Mark said, knowing that if Sami had not been there he would have missed it. The path he was on was rough and covered with pine needles from lack of use, but the car had no problems as he crunched his way along.
“Around the next bend,” Sami said excitedly, causing Molly to stir.
Mark’s hand relaxed on the wheel, knowing that they had conquered not only the storm, but nightfall as well. Dusk’s sunlight was still filtering through the tall pines providing them ample light to see. Rounding the bend, Mark smothered a startled cry as he viewed the scene before him. He had seen this scene before in one of her paintings. He quickly scanned the entire open meadow for the animals that she had painted also, but no animals could be seen. He spotted the pond at the far end, and believed that before the week was out, he would witness her paintings come to life.
“Sami, it’s beautiful,” Grandma Jo said truthfully.
Sami didn’t respond, her eyes glued to the house. As Mark stopped the car, Sami and Molly were out of it in a flash. Turning off the engine, Mark got out of the car quickly. He watched Sami closely as she rushed to the porch and up the steps. But, instead of entering the cabin, she turned to the right and hurried to the rough-wood chair on the porch. She caressed the top of the chair and murmured something that he couldn’t hear. Fascinated, he watched as she closed her eyes, tilted her head as if listening to someone and her body began to sway back and forth.
What is she hearing? he thought, as he followed her lead and closed his eyes. It hit him like a freight train. It was the music of the wind blowing through the trees. He had never before taken time to listen to this enchanting sound. He rubbed the ‘goose bumps’ that had formed on his arms. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at the empty porch. Spotting the open front door, he realized that she had moved into the cabin. He saw light come on inside and he thought, that’s good, it has power.
Mark scanned the car for Grandma Jo, but found it empty. “Grandma Jo?” he said softly.
“What?” he heard her response behind him, turning he saw her looking at the storm clouds. “I don’t like the looks of those clouds,” she voiced. “Looks like we’re in for a blizzard.”
Turning back to the car, Mark grabbed their jackets. Instructing Grandma Jo to get hers on, he quickly put on his own, realizing their need to hurry. “Help me get the stuff inside then,” Mark suggested, wanting her to think of something else besides the pending storm. Turning, she frowned, but nodded in agreement.
Within minutes, they had everything lined up on the porch. Neither spoke as they moved back
and forth from the car to the cabin. Grandma Jo carried the last item to the porch as Mark closed and locked the car. Spotting the knitted afghan in the back seat, he unlocked the door, and reaching in, secured it knowing that Sami would probably want it later.
Walking back to the house, Mark noticed the last beams of sunlight being extinguished, and the temperature was dropping quickly. Aided by the porch light, they moved the supplies off the porch and into the cabin as fast as they could, wishing to escape the cold wind.
Closing the door, Grandma Jo and Mark finally took the opportunity to check out the interior of the cabin. The lamp on the end table nearby had been turned on, and it provided enough light to view the impressive ranch-style layout of the cabin. The open beam ceiling over the living room and kitchen-dining area gave the observer a feeling it was a lot larger than the actual floor space. The back half of the house had been divided at the roofline. The lower level was closed off from the main room with only a hallway that led, he hoped, to bedrooms and a bathroom. The upper level was a loft, which could be reached by the nearby staircase.