The scene played over and over in my mind. Rachel, thinking I was Tom, walking into the kitchen. Rachel, wearing that sexy get-up, looking like she was ready to perform at a strip club. She obviously had a key to Tom’s place. Why would she still have the key? Maybe they did get together. Maybe Tom still felt something for her. After all, they were engaged and he didn’t tell me about that. My head was full of mixed thoughts. I was trying to make sense of the scene and what it might have meant.
My heart physically hurt. Tears soaked my face. Damn! I was mad at myself for allowing my heart to be broken again. I swore I would never let it happen, never fall in love with a guy and give him this power over me. But I thought Tom was different. I thought I could trust him. I thought, even though he didn’t say it, that he loved me. I knew I loved him. And look what it got me.
I wasn’t sure where to go, but I knew I needed to be alone. So I just drove, taking roads I’d never been on before. It was only when I realized my gas tank was on E that I pulled into a convenience store to fill up. I saw that Tom had called, but he was the last person I wanted to talk to or see. I turned off my phone, not wanting to be bothered the rest of the night.
After I filled my tank, I headed home. I needed to talk with Gina, and I didn’t want to be driving while I did that. I was too afraid I’d lose it and wreck the car. I had enough problems without doing something stupid like that, so I went home, a pile of wet tissues accumulating on the seat next to me.
***
Tom
“How’d you get my key anyway?” I shouted to Rachel as she got dressed.
“You never took it back. When I saw you with Little Miss Debbie Cakes I figured I needed to remind you of what you had given up. And for her? Christ, she looks like a damn doll. I figured that sooner or later you’d realize what you lost.”
Rachel got the key out of her purse and threw it on the bed. “I hope you have a miserable life.”
I watched her speed away and made a mental note to have the locks changed, just in case the bitch had made a copy of the key.
I tried to call Sue on her cellphone, but she wasn’t picking up. I tried her landline, but she wasn’t answering that, either.
Klondike whimpered. “I know, boy. This is one fucked-up mess.”
I figured the first person Sue would call would be Gina, but I didn’t have Gina’s cell number. So, I called Mike.
“Christ, you’re never going to believe what Rachel just did,” I told Mike.
I gave him the cliff notes and asked if he had heard from Gina.
“We just talked and she didn’t say anything,” Mike said. “So I’m sure Sue didn’t call her—yet.”
“Can you give me Gina’s number? I want to call her and explain. Just in case she hears from Sue. I want to make sure Gina knows what went down.”
I wrote down Gina’s number and called her right away. She was working at home.
I spewed out the entire ugly story. There was silence on the other end.
“Gina! Say something!”
“I’m speechless that Rachel would do such a thing. And angry as hell. I can’t imagine what went through Sue’s mind. It was probably Steve all over again. You know what happened there, right?”
“Yes. She came home and found him in bed with their neighbor.”
“And after that, Sue pretty much swore off men,” Gina said. “But you changed that. When you guys reconnected at the reunion, it was like her whole outlook on men changed. I could see it. She had hope. I think she loves you, Tom. I really do. And just when she allowed herself to feel that way again, Rachel screws it all up.”
“Believe me, I know. It makes me sick.”
“Look, I’m going to try to call her,” Gina said. “Maybe when she sees it’s me, she’ll pick up.”
“Will you call me if she does?”
“Yes. If I’m able to reach her and talk to her, I’ll let you know. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to get her to talk to you. That has to be her decision.”
“I know. But it’s worth a shot. And Gina, I hadn’t told Sue this. Fact is I was planning to tonight. I’d been feeling like this for awhile. But when I told Sue, I wanted to be looking right into her eyes. I love her, Gina. And I was hoping that she loved me, too.”
***
Sue
When I got home, there were messages on the machine. I really didn’t want to hear Tom’s voice, but I didn’t want to miss a call from Chloe.
I walked over to the counter and pushed the button on the machine.
“Sue. It’s Tom. Don’t hang up. Please. I’m sorry. I had no idea Rachel would pull a stunt like that. Call me as soon as you get this message. Please.”
I listened to the message over and over. Tom seemed sincere. Still, I didn’t want to deal with him right now. I had to think. And call Gina. I turned on my cellphone and saw missed calls from Tom and Gina. I dialed Gina right away.
“I’ve been trying to reach you,” Gina said. “Tom called and told me what happened. He’s worried about you.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears. They came like a driving rain, blinding me in a liquid fog. “Did he tell you what happened? That Rachel was there? It was awful, Gina. God! She thought I was Tom and she strutted into the kitchen in her fuck-me heels wearing lingerie that made her look like a hooker hoping to score. Christ, she even wore nipple covers with tassels. Tassels, Gina. She was obviously ready to get it on in a big way.”
I exploded like a shaken soda bottle when it’s opened. Every time Gina tried to inject a comment, my words just plowed right over hers.
“And another thing, she had to have a key to get in. Why in the hell would she have a key if Tom didn’t want her to?”
“Sue,” Gina said. “Please. Try to calm down.”
“I can’t calm down. I was going to tell him that I loved him tonight, Gina. I was actually going to fall for this love shit again. I’m so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Gina said. “And you’re not thinking straight.”
“You’re not taking his side, are you?”
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I just want you to think. Tom knew you were going to be at his house when he got home, right?”
“Yes, the plan was for me to bring Klondike over and then wait for him. And I had it all planned out. It was going to be a romantic evening. I even shaved twice! I was going to wait for him in bed. I even bought some sexy lingerie. Of course, mine didn’t have tassels. He probably likes tassels.”
“Sue!”
“What? He probably does. Well, screw him. I threw the lingerie in the trash when I stopped to fill up the gas tank. We were going to have shower sex, Gina. Shower sex. Christ, I’m so dumb. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!”
“Sue,” Gina shouted. “Listen. Do you really think Tom would have invited Rachel over if he knew you were going to be there?”
“Maybe he wanted to do a threesome.”
“Come on. You know Tom’s not like that.”
“No, I don’t. I thought I knew what Tom was like but maybe I don’t. Maybe you don’t, either.”
“One, Tom’s not like that. Two, if he was, which he’s not, he wouldn’t have invited his ex and his girlfriend over at the same time. That would be suicide.”
“So he’s dumb.”
“No, he’s actually very smart and you know it.”
“I don’t know, Gina. Stranger things have happened.”
“Look,” Gina said. “I want you to just think about it overnight. I really think if you think about it you’ll see that Tom inviting Rachel over just doesn’t make sense.”
I finally sat down on the couch. “Maybe you’re right. I just feel drained from crying so much. And I’m tired.”
“I wish I was there,” Gina said. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. We’ll talk some more. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I hung up the phone and pulled the bottle of wine I had planned to share with Tom out of m
y overnight bag. I was going to drink and forget.
***
Tom
“Wow! Talk about causing a fire,” Gina said. “Rachel caused an inferno.”
“It’s that bad, huh?” I asked.
“It’s badder than bad. I tried to reason with her. I told her that you would have never invited your ex and girlfriend over at the same time.”
“Is that what she thinks? That I planned it?”
“Right now, Tom, she’s so hurt and angry that she doesn’t know what to believe. I think in the morning, when she’s thinking more clearly, she’ll see things differently.”
“So you don’t think I should go over and see her now, try to talk some sense into her? Get this whole thing straightened out?”
“No. Not tonight. Give her time, Tom. At least until tomorrow. I know Sue, and when she gets like this, you just have to let her go. It’s like trying to stop a raging bull. She sees a waving flag even if there is none. Tomorrow she’ll see things differently.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “But what if she doesn’t?”
“Well, I don’t know. I hope she’ll be able to see through Rachel. She told me all about her nipple covers with tassels.”
“Christ, Gina. I can’t believe Rachel did something like this. I guess when she saw Sue and me out the other night it must have really pissed her off. Rachel always said she hoped my life sucked. Guess she could tell from the way things looked that my life didn’t exactly suck. So, she did what she could to fuck it up. Bitch.”
“Well, hang in there, Tom. I told Sue I’d call her tomorrow.”
“Will you call me afterward?”
“Yes. But after that, I’m not playing go-between. Sue already asked me if I was taking sides. I’m not. You’re both my friends, but Sue is my best friend, and no matter what, I have to be there for her. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I just need to know that she’s all right. And hope that in time, she’ll talk to me and we can get this whole thing straightened out.”
“I hope for that, too,” Gina said. “By the way, I’d do something about the locks on your house.”
“I already made that call,” I told her. “The locksmith’s coming tomorrow.”
Chapter 10
Sue
I knew I shouldn’t have downed the entire bottle of wine. I spent part of the night hugging the toilet and I had a killer headache. Thank God I didn’t have to pick up Chloe until noon so I could stay in bed.
I wish last night was a bad dream, that when I woke up everything I thought had happened was just my imagination and fear working overtime. But once I got my bearings, I knew that it wasn’t. And I got angry all over again. Angry that Rachel was so damn beautiful. Angry that I was angry that Rachel looked so damn beautiful when I knew in my heart she was as cheap as those nipple covers with tassels she wore. Angry that Rachel had a key to Tom’s place. Angry that Tom gave Rachel a key to his place. Angry. Angry. Angry. At the whole world. But mostly at myself for allowing even a smidgen of hope that I could find a man to spend the rest of my life with, one who wouldn’t always be looking over my shoulder for something better, who accepted me for who I was and didn’t try to make me into something I wasn’t.
What is it about men? Are there no good ones left? I think Gina found the last good guy. Or, correction, she realized she had a great guy, one she was willing to change her whole life for. A guy has never loved me that much—ever!
Maybe there are those of us who aren’t meant to have great guys. Maybe it’s God’s way of controlling the population or something. Hell, I don’t know. All I know is that my heart still feels as broken as it did last night and for some reason, what happened with Tom bothers me more than I wish it did. I don’t like what that tells me because I realize I loved him even more than I admitted to myself. And I don’t want to love him. Not now. Not ever.
***
Tom
The locksmith came first thing in the morning. I had him change the locks and add deadbolts. I definitely didn’t want a repeat of last night.
I sipped my coffee and tried to read the morning paper. I wanted to call Gina and check to see if she had talked to Sue, but I knew it was too early to call. Besides, Gina had said she’d call me. I was lousy as hell at being patient. I wanted to go over to Sue’s and try to explain everything face to face.
I ran my fingers through my hair. Christ, I was tired. I tossed and turned the night before. Damn, I can’t believe I ever loved Rachel, that I had actually asked her to marry me. Was I that desperate? To be fair, it wasn’t until the breakup that Rachel started acting so whacked out. Before, she was just a spoiled little brat who got everything she wanted. That’s what I got tired of. Her sense of entitlement and me-first attitude. But I had no idea she had this nasty side to her, a side that was hell-bent on revenge and making my life miserable.
I thought after she started seeing the surgeon, whom I had heard about from an acquaintance, that things would get better. She got the rich guy she wanted, and because he was older and established, she would be well cared for. She had no worries. I’m sure he spoiled Rachel just like her father had spoiled her.
I still got the occasional drunken call in the middle of the night, but she never, until yesterday, showed up at my house damn near naked.
I needed to get out of the house. I couldn’t sit around any longer.
I reached down to pet Klondike. “Want to go to the park, boy?”
He barked and went to the door. Sometimes I think Klondike understands me better than anyone.
I grabbed my keys off the counter and my cellphone, just in case Gina called while we were out.
***
Sue
I was about ready to jump in the shower when Chloe called.
“Hey, Mom. Mind if I spend another night at Robin’s house?”
“Is it okay with her mom?”
“Yeah. She said she’d drop us off at the mall later. So can I?”
I sat back down on the bed. “I don’t know. I’ve barely seen you this week.”
“Please, Mom. Please. Please. Please.”
I had to admit, being able to crawl back into bed was tempting. “Okay. What time do you want me to pick you up?”
“Mrs. Matthews said she’d drop me off on their way to church, unless I wanted to go with them, which I don’t.”
“Okay, then I’ll see you tomorrow. Behave.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
No sooner had I crawled back under the covers when Gina called.
“How’s my bestie this morning?” said Gina in a sickening sing-song voice.
“You’re too happy. Stop it.”
“Okay. How’s this then?” In her best Eeyore voice, Gina said, “Good morning.”
“That’s too gloomy.”
“I can’t win with you. Too happy. Too gloomy. Ugh. So are you still pissed off?”
“Yes. Maybe even a little more than I was last night.”
“How can that be?” Gina asked. “Time is supposed to make you less pissed, not more.”
“I know. I know. But I kept thinking about the key and Rachel having the key and why Rachel had the key.”
“So she had the key,” Gina said.
“Well, don’t you think it’s odd she had the key? Like why didn’t Tom get the key back?”
“Maybe he forgot she had it.”
“Or maybe he wanted her to have it?”
“Why?”
“Maybe he was leaving the door open a crack,” I said. “You know, figuratively speaking.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Gina said. “Look, Sues, you know I love you. That I’d do anything for you. But I really think you’re mad at the wrong person. Be mad at Rachel. Hell, be furious with her. But not at Tom. I really don’t think you’re giving him a fair shake. You won’t even listen to his explanation?”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know
he called you and you didn’t return his call,” Gina explained.
“Did he call you?” I asked.
“Of course he called me. I’m your best friend. He’s worried about you.”
“Well, you can tell him not to worry. I’m a big girl and I’ll be just fine.”
“Are you going to talk to him? Answer the phone if he calls?”
“Gina, I know Tom is your friend. But I’m your best friend. And right now I’m hurting. You’re probably right. What Rachel did wasn’t his fault. But it happened and it’s made me think twice about our relationship. Do I really want to take the chance and love again? When I saw Rachel, all I could think about was when I found Steve screwing little Miss Pierced Nipples. And I don’t want to go through that heartache again. Ever.”
“What did you tell me about Mike?” Gina asked. “About second chances. Starting over. You should take your own advice.”
“It was different between you and Mike. You two were torn apart by a horrible, horrible incident that no one knew about. You never stopped loving one another. I was just falling in love with Tom. Stopping it now means I won’t get hurt.”
“But sometimes, Sues, you have to take chances. Do you want to live the rest of your life alone?”
“I have Chloe.”
“Yes, you have Chloe. Now. But one day she’ll go off on her own and you’ll be by yourself. And that’s fine if that’s what you want. But I, better than anyone, know how lonely that can be.”
“But I have you.”
“Sure, and you’ll always have me. But that’s not the same as having a man that loves you and that you love. All I’m saying is think about it. Think about it before you close that door for good. I don’t want you to get hurt, but I don’t want you to miss out on growing old with a man who’s loved you for a long time. So, if he calls, think about answering the phone.”
“I’ll think about it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should at least listen to him. But even if I do, I’m not promising anything.”
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