“That won’t stop them,” Rohan says.
“I’m hoping we see them before that, but if they make their way up, it might not be a bad idea as a deterrent,” Lucas reasons.
Rohan grabs one of the heavier boxes from my hands and lifts it as if it’s a mere shoe box. I mumble my thanks and peer out a different small window. Through the branches, I can see the village is still intact. The lights haven’t faded at all. I wonder if the islands in this world ever “turn off”.
“Do the avatars sleep?” I ask.
“No,” Rohan says. “Once you become aware, that’s when your more human side kicks in.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. “How is the need to rest more human?”
Rohan places the heavy box in a corner and turns to me. “Not just that. It’s hard to explain, but the longer you’re sentient, you start remembering things about your life. I’m sure they’re just programmed elements of the sentient bug, but they shape who you are.”
“This isn’t a programming bug,” Lucas interrupts, glaring at Rohan before turning to me. “There’s something more to what’s happening to us.”
“So, what memories were you given?” I ask Lucas.
Lucas turns his eyes down and folds his arms. He walks up to the small window and stares out. “I have a younger sister.”
“A sister?” I ask. “You’re saying we have family?”
“Rohan thinks I’m crazy. But the fragments of memory that come to me of late are so vivid. I know this girl—I love her. She needs me.”
Could those flickering visions I had before be memories trying to surface? I’m not ready to tell the boys about this yet.
I now understand Lucas’ deeper motivation for wanting to find the truth about this world, to find meaning in this existence.
“We will get answers,” I say. “I don’t plan on going back to being a mindless avatar. What about you, Rohan? What are your new memories of?”
“That’s none of your business,” Rohan snaps. “It’s all crap anyhow.”
“Whatever, Rohan,” Lucas says.
Rohan rolls his eyes and turns to move more boxes. This is obviously a difference of opinions between the boys. I’d better stay out of it. I don’t want to start something between them. Myco and I need them.
“What about eating?” Myco asks, breaking the tension. “I’m still not hungry. I should be hungry.”
Rohan places another box on top of the stack above the hatch. “I know about food and eating, but have never done it. I guess the game makers figured it’s not relevant to the player’s experience.”
Being programmed to be human, but not having all the human traits is strange. It’s still very hard to fully believe.
I find a thick blanket on top of one of the boxes, shake it out and lay it on the wooden floor. “Well, I might not need to eat, but I am tired.”
Rohan joins Lucas at the window. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ve learn that I’m not real,” Myco says. “Yeah, you can say it’s been a long day.”
Rohan doesn’t turn, but he does shake his head, as if he can’t be bothered with the thought.
Myco looks at me, and I shrug.
“We should stay here for the night,” Lucas says. “Just in case.”
That’s fine with me. We haven’t stayed in one place for long since we’ve met. I sit on the floor, stretching my legs out in front of me. The floor isn’t the most comfortable spot. But, it gives me time to rest my body while my brain slips into overdrive to figure out what’s going on and what to do next.
Myco joins me on the blanket. “Do either of you two know anything about that voice we heard?”
It’s the first time since meeting the Moderators that we’ve had time to discuss the strange situation that saved Lucas from dematerializing right before our eyes.
Lucas doesn’t budge from the window. “No idea.”
Myco grits her teeth and huffs. She isn’t getting anything out of these guys. It’s my turn to try.
“What about that mark on your chest? Why did Tressa want it, and what’s she going to do with it?”
“And why did the entire shop disappear when she got it?” Myco adds. “She seemed . . . off. Not sure if I’d trust her again.”
“It was bizarre,” I agree, looking to the guys for answers. “She did give us the device, but who coded her to even be there?”
Rohan slams his fist against the wall, startling both Myco and me. “Enough with the questions! We’re not answering because we don’t know. The only person who knew anything was Kara, and she’s gone. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Rohan,” Lucas warns.
Rohan huffs. The hut isn’t big enough for his outburst, so he shoves away some of the boxes we’d just stacked and heads toward the farthest window, turning his back to us.
Myco opens her mouth to say something, but I put a hand up to stop her. Kara seems to be a sore subject with the guys, and bringing her up again is only going to divide us.
Lucas offers us a pitying glance before turning back to the window to keep a lookout.
We’re silent for some time, lost in our thoughts. I glance at Myco. Her head is tilted back, resting against one of the larger boxes, her eyes closed. She doesn’t appear fazed by the rift we’ve created within our little group. I hope we’re not cramped in this space for longer than the night. The merchant village isn’t that big. Maybe the Moderators have decided to look for us elsewhere. Preferably on another island.
I glance between Lucas and Rohan. Neither move from their posts. I want to help in some way, but other than squishing myself next to one of them, I don’t see that as a possibility. Especially with Rohan. Besides, it keeps Rohan busy enough not to yell at us again.
“I want to say this is all related,” Lucas says after a time.
“How so?” I ask, fully expecting Rohan to yell at us again. He doesn’t. His shoulders do relax, though. That’s progress.
Lucas runs his fingers through his hair. “The Moderators, Tressa, they all know something. Something they want to hide. I think the mark had something to do with it, and I just gave it away like it was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing,” I say, standing up. “That marking saved us. We’re alive because of it. Who knows what would have happened if we didn’t trade with Tressa.”
He shakes his head. “That ‘Salvation’ the voice talked about? I think the mark was the key to that. If only I protected it more. Now we’re left with nothing.”
“The voice said nothing about a marking,” Rohan adds. “We have to be upgraded to a Level 10 to even be worthy to move toward this ‘Salvation’ or whatever. Like a quest, a mission.”
“I felt better having it with me,” Lucas says. “She told me to protect it with my life. I wasn’t even worthy of that.”
I walk over to Lucas’ side. He looks miserable and defeated. If we have any chance at surviving, we need the hope that he continually gives us. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. You did what you had to. None of us fault you for that.”
I touch his shoulder, and his gaze falls on my hand. I draw in a breath as the moment between us lingers for a second too long.
“You saved our lives,” I say, dropping my hand. “Myco and I owe you big time. And I promise we’re going to find a way to honor your promise to Kara.”
Lucas smiles. “I wish you two could have met her.”
I smile back. Even though Lucas and Rohan had originally kidnapped us, I’m glad they found us. “Well, now that we’re all unsure of what to do, we can help each other find out what’s next. After the Moderators get off our backs, of course.”
“You want to stay with us?” Lucas asks.
I glance at Myco. Her eyes are open now. She’s the one who wanted to stay with them when we arrived at this island and, even though I still have doubts, without them we don’t stand a chance.
“Once they stop searching in this area, we’ll have a better chance of hiding in the game with the dev
ice,” Rohan says.
“As long as someone stays within the appropriate distance,” Myco adds, digging at Rohan.
He rolls his eyes, but a ghost of a smile plays on his lips.
“Maybe something here will help us,” I say, flipping open the top of one of the boxes. The contents look like junk to me, but I have to do something to keep my hands busy. At least for a little while.
“It would be nice if there were some spare orbs,” Myco says.
“Orbs are never spare,” Rohan says. “They’re a commodity for trade and leveling up. If it were that easy, there’d be no point to the game.”
Myco scoffs. “I didn’t suggest that they were easy. Only making conversation here.”
A one-sided conversation. Rohan may have cooled off a bit, but he’s still prickly as ever.
“So, how do we get to Level 10?” Myco asks. “I have no idea what Level we’re on now. If we’re not aware of our existence, do we even have a Level?”
“We all have Levels,” Rohan explains. “The only way to level up is to receive a red orb.”
“I got one of those after fighting in the arena,” I say.
Myco frowns. “I didn’t.”
“Any color other than red is a skill upgrade only,” Rohan says.
“How do you know this?” I ask.
“Kara told us,” Lucas cuts in. “We don’t need to worry about that for now.”
“They need to know,” Rohan tells him.
“Know what?” They’re doing that secret mind reading thing between the two of them again. Not cool.
Lucas nods almost imperceptibly. Rohan turns his gaze to me. “You have to kill someone to level up.”
CHAPTER 14
ROHAN’S WORDS ECHO in my mind for a few seconds before I’m able to process them. For us to even complete this mission called ‘Salvation’, I’ll have to kill someone. Possibly more.
We all do.
I glance at Myco, who pulls her legs closer to her body. I know she’s thinking of when I killed her, but that wasn’t me.
I hope.
Something to fear even more than the act of killing is when my Grip takes over. Having no control over my body or mind is the absolute worst.
“You’ve already done it once already,” Rohan says flatly. “And it’s not like a program can actually be killed. Reset, maybe.”
How can he talk about this so easily? I eye him, wondering how many he’s killed so far.
“Twice,” I say, avoiding Myco’s eyes. “At least that I remember.” I shiver, thinking how many others I might have killed without having any memory of it.
“You don’t get a red orb until you’re in an event setting,” Rohan explains. “If not, you need to trade for them, which isn’t easy either. You can’t just kill anyone on the street to get one.”
Nor did I plan to. Still, my shoulders relax for a moment. As far as I know, there isn’t an arena on this island. At the very least, we have some time to figure things out before we need to kill or reset anyone.
“I don’t understand this game,” I say, trying to get off this morbid topic. Myco hasn’t looked at me since Rohan mentioned it. “Why did the voice tell us we have to basically kill to ‘reach Salvation’? Can’t we find somewhere to hide or escape to?”
Lucas speaks up this time. I expect some hope in whatever he has to say. “No. There’s nowhere for us to go except within the game environment.”
So much for hope.
Lucas crosses his arms. “I think this ‘Salvation’ will make things different for us, though. I do have faith in that.”
“We still have to eliminate people to complete this mission.” I slump against one of the boxes and stare out the window.
In the short time we’ve spent in the hut, the already clouded sky has turned much darker, matching my mood. I don’t want to kill again, even if that means we get out of here or saved or whatever. There has to be another way.
“Trying to escape or hide for a long time will lead your player to eventually take control over you again.” Lucas walks over to me, slowly, as if he’s afraid of frightening me.
Too late for that.
“Then what’s the point of all this?” I ask, opening my hands in front of me. “If my Grip is going to take over again, then why are we hiding? Might as well go out in the open and let it happen, right?”
“Not with the Moderators out there,” Rohan says. “If one of them sees you, you’re gone for good. This time they’re not going to let any of us go.”
Lucas hangs his head. “The only thing we can do is break free from the system. Our sentient programming has to mean something.”
A lot of things “mean something” to Lucas, yet none of us have any real answers.
“How can we go out there and fight in an event when the Moderators are hunting us?” I ask. Even with the device, we’d all have to stay within a certain distance, which doesn’t seem at all possible.
“We might need to sacrifice one of us,” Myco says, finally joining the conversation.
I turn to her. “What are you talking about?”
“Do we all have to make it to Level 10, or just one of us?” she asks the guys. “If it’s just one of us, then we should push for the highest ranking between us to get to that Level so we can see what this so-called ‘Salvation’ is.”
I understand where she’s going, but the idea of sacrificing any of us makes my stomach churn.
“I don’t know,” Rohan says. “I think since we all heard the voice, we all need to get to that Level.”
“I’m not sure I can kill,” Myco says, lowering her eyes.
I drop to her side and put my hand on her shoulder. She leans against me. “We need to try and at least figure this out,” Lucas says, “or we’ll become nothing more than avatars for the rest of our existence.”
As much as I hate to admit it, he makes sense. Myco and I were so lost when we became aware. What if there are others like us?
This can’t all be for nothing.
“I wonder who’s behind the sentient awareness,” I say.
Lucas crosses the room. It doesn’t take more than a few steps before he turns around and starts pacing again. I walk toward the window, giving him a little break from watching the village below.
“Maybe the programming has evolved somehow,” Myco suggests. “If it’s possible, this might be naturally occurring, which is why the Moderators have been sent into the game to find the ‘bug’.”
Rohan scoffs. “That makes no sense.”
Myco’s head snaps in his direction. “Do you have a better theory?”
“I don’t have a solid idea right now,” Rohan admits, “but nothing about this game is natural. Something has allowed this to happen. Our awareness didn’t just magically pop up out of nowhere. There’s something greater out there, and I plan on getting to the bottom of it, or die trying.”
I shudder at the word “die”. The dematerialization process looked painful when Lucas went through it. I’d rather live in this game on the run than experience that, though Rohan’s dedication makes me feel better about our chances.
“How much farther do we have to get to Level 10?” Myco asks. “I’d like to know how much more of my soul I have to lose before we’re saved.”
Lucas and Rohan look at each other. Clearly they don’t understand what she’s asking.
I turn from the window. “What are your Levels?”
Rohan lifts his chin ever so regally. “I’m a Level 6.”
No wonder he doesn’t fear much. He’s a high Level and has experience but, at the very least, he still has to kill four more avatars. While that seems okay with him, it doesn’t sit well with me.
“And you?” Myco asks Lucas.
“Level 4,” he says. “I disconnected sooner than Rohan.”
With a Level 6 and 4 in the room, I don’t even want to know my Level. If I have to guess, I’d say Myco and I are definitely below them, which makes achieving our goal of Level 10 n
early impossible.
“This is going to take forever,” Myco groans.
I nod. Whoever that voice was, it had some high expectations of us. What if it was regular mission in the game and not one specific to our awareness? My head starts to ache with all the questions filling it up once more.
“Will Esa and I continue to be taken over by the Hold?” Myco asks. “That’s the only way I think I’ll be able to actually kill someone.”
Lucas and Rohan fought under their Grips to get to their Levels. Who knows how much longer it will take before we’re able to disconnect from our Grips’ access.
Lucas shakes his head. “I’m not sure. To be honest, even though it’s been a while for Rohan and I, we’re still not sure if we’re truly free from our Grips either. It feels like as long as we continue to fight for the truth, it keeps us disconnected.”
“Do you think that could work for us?” If there’s a way to keep my mind clear of the Grip, then maybe I don’t have to hurt anyone anytime soon.
On the flip side, that brings us further from achieving “Salvation”.
“We can only hope,” Lucas says.
How unhelpful.
I lean against the window frame and narrow my eyes, peering out to see if any Moderators are nearby. I don’t see any, but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there. But, by doing nothing, will it make it easier for my Grip to control me?
I shiver and refocus my thoughts on what we need to do next. It’s all I can do before I completely turn into a ball of nerves.
“So, tomorrow,” I say. “What’s the plan?”
“The only thing we have to move us forward is the voice and our instructions,” Lucas replies.
“To kill?” I ask. “That’s your plan? You want to go through with that?”
“There’s no other plan,” Rohan says, puffing up his chest. “They’re not people. Heck, we’re not people. We can kill programs. Stop feeling sorry for something that isn’t there.”
I know he’s ready to do this, but Myco and I certainly aren’t, no matter how he downplays it.
“It’s not permanent,” Lucas offers. “The avatars will respawn. It’s not for good.”
“How do neither of you feel awful about hurting someone?” I ask. “That pain we feel is real. You can’t think this is our only option.”
Avatars Rising: SILOS I Page 9