by Doreen Alsen
“Accidents happen.”
“Accidents happen,” she mimicked. “He’s a very talented musician. What if this wrist injury means he can’t play the piano with the same skill any more?”
“He doesn’t want to play piano. He wants to play football.”
“How do you know that?” Beth stood, chest-heaving, complexion mottled. “Get out of my home.”
He also stood and used his height to intimidate her. “Not yet. I want to tell Danny he’s my son as soon as possible. Tomorrow.”
She didn’t back down. “He won’t be going to practice, not with his injuries. Come after practice and we’ll tell him together.” She angled that defiant chin up again. “Calmly. Civilly. And we’ll present a united front. It’s what’s best for Danny.”
He really didn’t know this version of Beth, the one who called the shots and told you exactly how it was going to be.
Realizing she was right, he nodded. “Okay. I’ll come by tomorrow evening.” He picked up the picture of Danny he’d put on the table, took the photo from the frame and put it in his shirt pocket. He left the empty frame where it was. “I’ll let myself out.”
Her silence followed him.
Chapter Fifteen
Jeff’s heart pounded as he finished one last lap around the track surrounding the high school football field. The early morning air held a chill and promise of autumn.
He stopped running and walked a quarter lap. His breath sawed in and out of his lungs, his eyes watered, and sweat poured off his forehead. He hadn’t slept at all last night. His eyes were gritty, his mood foul. He grabbed his water bottle and slugged down the contents.
He had a son. He and Beth had created a son, an amazing boy.
A son Beth had kept away from him for ten years.
He actually shook with anger. He needed to get it under control .
Never mind Katie’s part in the whole mess. He’d deal with her later.
He planned to contact an attorney to find out what his rights were and how to change Danny’s last name to Myers. He also had to tell his mother and Katie. He didn’t look forward to either call, especially the one to Katie. She would totally go off the deep end and use visitation with Cookie as a weapon.
That not only punished him, it punished his daughter.
He was in a real awkward situation and Beth was the person who put him there. One thing he knew for sure, he was not letting her come in between Danny and him.
****
“How are you feeling today, baby?” Beth sat on Danny’s bed.
“Not so good.” Danny rolled his eyes. “And I’m not a baby any more.”
“You’ll always be my baby.” She drank in the sight of him. “I think you can take the day off of school today.”
“Really?”
Beth nodded. “Really. But I’ll call to let the school know and get today’s assignments for you.”
“Can I watch The Refractor movie again?”
“Sure. Now let’s get you settled on the couch. Want some breakfast?”
“I can eat.”
“Good.” She looked at Danny with his hurt ankle and bloody, bruised nose and wanted to cry. “I’ll go fix you some pancakes. How’s that?”
“Yummy! I love you Mom, in every dimension!”
She hoped that was still the case after this evening. “I love you more.”
****
Jeff hesitated before he got out of his car and started up the walk to Beth’s front door. Once this secret came out, their lives would change forever.
What the hell. He’d missed ten years of Danny’s life. He wasn’t waiting a minute longer. He pressed the button for the bell.
Beth appeared. “Hi.” She stood back. “Come on in.”
“Thanks.” He stepped into Beth’s front hall for the most important conversation he’d had in his life. “Where’s Danny?”
“In the living room. Give me your jacket. Can I get you something to drink?” She folded his jacket over her arm. “Have you eaten dinner? I made a ton of mac and cheese and we can’t possibly eat it all.”
Jeff studied the woman. Her eyes looked haunted and it was clear she’d gotten about as much sleep as he did. She wore sweat pants and a T-shirt with a picture of that damned Lionel Lobster cartoon. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
“Come on, then. But remember. Calmly. Civilly. No accusations, no recriminations. Just the simple truth. You got that?”
“Yeah, I do. No worries.”
She plastered a toothy fake smile on her face and led the way into the living room. “Hey, Danny! Look who’s here to see you.”
“Coach!” Danny’s face lit up and Jeff’s heart skipped a beat. His son!
“Hey, champ! Mind if I sit on the couch with you?”
“‘Course! How was today?”
“We all missed you and the other kids are happy you’re okay.”
Pulling a chair to be near Danny, Beth sat. “Danny, Coach and I have something to tell you.”
Danny looked from one to the other. “You look sad, Mom. Is it bad news?”
She brushed his hair back, the gesture lingering. “No, sweetie, it’s good news.” She sighed, pressed her lips together, and took Danny’s hand. “Coach, I mean Jeff and I have known each other a long time. We loved each other a lot, enough to try and get married.”
“Cool! Do you want to get married again and Coach be my new dad?”
Jeff heard choirs of angels when he saw Danny’s excitement. Beth looked at him and nodded. “Here’s the thing, champ. I already am your dad.”
Danny’s head swiveled to face Beth. “Is that true, Mom?”
“Yes, sweetheart. It’s true. Sometimes when people love each other so much they make a baby. That’s what Coach,” She nodded at Jeff, “and I did. We made you.”
Danny started to blink a lot and looked back and forth from Beth to him. “Why didn’t you be my dad right away?”
Beth brought his attention back to her. “He wanted to. Remember your grandfather? How he made all kinds of rules and was real strict about them? Like we talked about the other night?”
“Yeah.” His eyes narrowed.
“He didn’t like Jeff, didn’t want him to be your father and took us away where he couldn’t find us.”
His fingers started to pull at the blanket covering him. “Did you try?” He turned his attention back to Jeff.
“Yes. I tried but your grandfather hid you guys good.”
Danny sat still and silent, barely even breathing.
Beth squeezed his hand. “What are you feeling, baby?”
“What about my other father? The one you told me about?”
Beth’s lips thinned and took a deep breath. “Your grandfather made me make him up because he didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t married when you were born.” She grabbed his other hand. “I’m not proud of it and I’m sorry I lied to you. I had a good reason at the time. Your grandfather would have made me give you away to another family and I loved you so much I couldn’t give you up.”
“You told me there was never a good reason to lie,” he whispered.
Jeff’s eyes stung. Something shifted between them right before his eyes, a tragic loss of the absolute trust Danny had in Beth.
Jeff had done his own damage so he might as well ’fess up. “When I couldn’t find you and your mom, I got married to someone else.”
“You didn’t love my mom any more?” Danny’s nose started to run.
“I did love your mom and I wondered every day about how she was and what she was doing. But since I couldn’t find her, I gave up and married someone else.”
“Are you still married to her and that’s why you can’t be my dad?”
“I’ll always be your dad, champ. And no, I’m not still married to her. We got a divorce. You know what that is, right?”
“Yeah. A couple kids in my class got divorces.”
“So you understand.” Jeff smiled. “Here’s the good news. You
have a sister.”
“Where’s she live?”
“Back in Massachusetts in the town your mom and I grew up in. Her name is Cookie. I know she’ll be so happy to have a big brother.”
Danny scowled as he digested that little factoid. “I don’t want a sister. Girls are stupid. And Cookie’s a stupid name.”
“Danny! That’s not a very nice thing to say. Give her a chance,” Beth said. “I think it’s great that you have a little sister and I can’t wait to meet her. You’ll have so much fun.”
“I don’t want to meet her. She can stay in Massachusetts.”
Jeff had never seen Danny’s inner brat. He should have expected it. “You’ve got a grandmother who can’t wait to meet you. She’s really nice and she makes the best cookies.”
Danny’s eyes narrowed. “What kind? I only eat oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies.”
“That’s not true, baby. I know you eat all kinds of cookies.”
“If you can lie, I can too.”
Beth sucked in a harsh breath and closed her eyes.
Jeff knew he had to step in. “No, you can’t. You also can’t talk to your mother like that. Tell her you’re sorry.”
Danny, to his credit, looked ashamed. “Sorry.”
Beth stood. “Do you have any questions right now?”
Danny shook his head as he gave a jaw-cracking yawn.
“Then I think we’ve talked enough tonight,” she said, her voice even and cool. “Danny, it’s time for your bath. I’ll get it ready.” She left the room.
He watched this boy, this miracle, his son, and felt a rush of love so strong and pure, the same as he felt when Cookie was born.
Anger over the lost years bubbled up in him again at that thought, but he tamped it down. It didn’t do anybody any good for him to go around being mad. Especially when the man who deserved all his anger was dead.
“Danny, your bath is ready.”
Jeff looked up to see Beth watching them both. He couldn’t get a bead on her.
“I haven’t finished reading my new comic yet.” The kid made the tortoise look like Jeff Gordon.
“C’m’on, champ. Finish up. Bath time is calling your name.”
“Are you gonna be here tomorrow when I wake up?”
“No. Sorry. I live in my house and you live in yours with your mom.”
“What if I don’t wanna live with my mom? What if I wanna live with you?”
Tread lightly, he warned himself. “Well, your sister lives with her mother, and you live with yours. But I’m going to be around. A lot. You’ll probably get sick of me.”
“Did you ever live with her?”
It didn’t take much to figure out that her equaled Cookie. “Yes, when I was still married to her mom, we all lived in the same house. I moved out when Cookie’s mom and I got divorced.”
“If you lived with her, why can’t you live with me and Mom?”
Man. He hadn’t counted on sibling rivalry so soon. “We’re not married. I promise you’ll get to spend lots of time at my house.”
Beth’s eyebrows shot to the top of her forehead and her eyes widened.
“For tonight, it’s enough that you know I’m your dad.”
“Danny, you need to take your bath.” She came fully into the room. “Let me help you up.”
Danny pulled away when she touched him. “I want my dad to help me.”
Beth put her palms up and took a couple of steps back.
“I’m right here, son.” Jeff lifted Danny. The kid winced a little, but didn’t make a sound. “Where’s the bathroom?” Jeff asked.
“Down the hall on the right. Across from his room.”
“Got it.”
Beth brushed past them as she did that rabbit thing into the living room. “I’ll just clean up. I’ve left clean underwear and pajamas on the counter.”
Man, she looked rough. He almost felt sorry for her.
Operative word being almost.
He nodded and hauled his kid down the hall to the bathroom.
****
I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, Beth repeated in her head as a mantra, a plea, a prayer.
She knew it’d be tough, but the reality turned out to be worse.
If you can lie, I can too.
By the end of his life, Beth had lost all love for her father. Actually, she lost the love when he made her make that terrible, terrible agreement. She was ashamed that she was relieved when he’d died. She shouldn’t have been so jealous of Katie. But she couldn’t stand to watch Jeff love Katie and not her. To prefer Katie’s child and not Danny.
She talked a good game about being all about Danny, but in the end her jealousy had kept Jeff and Danny apart. Playing God. Just like her father. She guessed the leaf didn’t fall far from the tree. A sob clogged her throat at the thought.
“Hey, Beth?” Jeff stood in the entrance to the living room. “Danny’s done with his bath and is changed and ready for lights out.”
“I’ll be right there.” So weary, she passed him and made her way to Danny’s bedroom. He was already in bed and looked away from the door, giving her the cold shoulder. By rote, she turned on his Time Bomb nightlight. “Hey, baby.”
“I’m not a baby. Don’t call me that ever again.”
“Okay.” She swallowed as she sat on his bed. “Did you say your prayers?”
“Didn’t have to. God gave me my real dad tonight.”
She could barely breathe. “I love you, Danny. Across all dimensions.”
Danny turned his back to her and pulled the covers over his head.
“Good night,” she choked out. Flicking off the light, she closed the door and made it to the wall. Since she couldn’t stand up any more, she slid down the wall and dropped her head onto her knees.
Her son, her very reason for being, hated her. She choked back tears and took some deep breaths to compose herself. She would not let Jeff Myers see her cry.
He came out of the bathroom and crouched beside her. “I cleaned the bathroom.”
“Thank you.” What else could she say?
He held out a hand to help her up. “Let’s go to the kitchen.”
Why not? She let him help her up. “That’s probably best.”
As they passed through the living room, he said, “Let me pick up the dirty dishes.”
“Leave them. It’ll give me something to do when I can’t sleep tonight.”
“I know the feeling.” He brought her into the kitchen and let her drop into one of those two chairs. He sat across from her. “This is what’s going to happen next.”
“What?” He’d been so supportive all evening. She hadn’t expected it and was grateful for it. Apparently he had another agenda.
He heaved a sigh. “I am making an appointment with Nate Cavanaugh to find out what my rights are here. I’ll be honest. I want to adopt him. Put my name on him.”
“Put your name on him, like he’s some kind of shiny new toy you don’t want anyone else to have?” Her stomach twisted like Nancy Kerrigan flying through the air, doing triple axels. She bolted out of her chair and threw up into the sink. He’d been right there to pull her hair out of the way and rub her back.
It brought back all her memories of their mad dash to get married. She’d been puking her guts up the entire trip. He’d been that solicitous then. She pushed him away. “I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“Don’t worry about it.” She rinsed out the sink, got a glass of water. “I’m used to taking care of myself.”
“I’m prepared to pay child support.”
“Oh, God.” So many new wrinkles.
“Calm down.” He touched her arm, his manner totally businesslike. “I do need it on record that I’m Danny’s father,” he pointed to himself, “not some figment of your imagination.”
She heard the derision in his tone. She’d taken enough hits tonight. She wasn’t taking any more. “I did what I had to do. Would you have preferred I
let my father give my baby away?”
“No, of course not.” His gaze darkened. “What a mess.”
“Why didn’t you ever try to find us?” The question came flying out of her mouth before she could stop it.
“I was afraid of some crackpot sending me to jail.”
“Believe me, you don’t have to be behind bars to be stuck in a prison.” She pulled up some pride. “If anyone was responsible for you going to jail, it would have been your wife. You’re right, it’s a mess.”
He turned his eyes to the floor. “I’m not trying to hassle you in any way. I’m just trying to get back as much of the time that you stole from me.”
She’d had enough. “I didn’t steal anything from you and I’m sick and tired of that tune right now. I won’t try to keep you from building a relationship with Danny, but I won’t stand here and…and,” She choked. “Please. If you ever loved me, just go. I can’t take any more tonight.”
She watched him turn on his heel and leave. While she expected him to slam the door, he left without a sound.
When her father died, she’d vowed that no man would ever control her life again.
Jeff Myers walked back into her life and thought he could call the shots. Why did the men who professed to love her only want to control her?
Well, she wasn’t taking it any more, that was for sure.
Chapter Sixteen
“I don’t feel good enough to go to school today. I need to stay home.”
Beth knew this was coming. Whatever she suggested, Danny immediately resisted. Protested. Refused.
Jittery, every nerve she had rubbed raw, she lost her patience. “You’re going to school. Your wrist is strong enough to handle the crutches. There will be teachers to help you.”
“I don’t want teachers to help me. I want my dad.”
Lord, give her patience. “He works in the high school. Your teachers will help you.” Light bulb. “Besides, you don’t want everyone to think you’re a baby, do you?”
“No.”
“Well, if you expect your father to step in every time you get hurt, the kids won’t think very much of you, especially if you brag. Don’t you want to earn respect on your own? No one respects someone who hides behind his father.”