I thought about defending myself, but why bother? Once Sam dug in, nothing changed her mind. She'd made a good point about how I really cared about Jen, but I wasn't about to cancel tomorrow. By her own admission Sam hadn't been gung-ho over the guys she had been with. She was fine with it. Why shouldn't I be?
For the next half hour, we moved about the bushes and trees in silence except for the sounds of bottles and cans clinking together. I felt like an ass. Sam was helping me out and I had treated her like crap. Granted, she had been badgering me, but what else was new?
In my mind, I heard my mother's voice and one of her famous overused lines, 'If it bothers you, it's because the truth hurts.' Mentally telling my mother to shut up, I glanced up from the bushes, relieved to see we had almost reached the end of the small stand of trees that bordered one side of the playground.
"Hey," Sam called out, "looks like I earned that movie after all."
"I told you I was treating for you helping," I told her, glad she had spoken and still wanting to keep up our movie tradition.
"Doesn't matter, I'd win the gross-out anyway."
Turning around, I watched her pick up a stick and poke at something in the grass.
"What is it, something dead?"
"No, but not only pretty gross, but very fitting. Here!"
Sam flicked the stick towards me and something landed at my feet. I looked down to see a condom, an obviously used condom.
"That is nasty! Why is it ironic? Because I'll need some for tomorrow?"
"No, because it's just like you, used."
"Real nice, Sam." I forced myself to not raise my voice. "Why do you keep saying that?"
"Because it's obvious, Justin, and I can see what's right in front of me."
Before I could respond, she released a long sigh. "Too bad you can't see what's right in front of you."
* * * * *
I lay on the couch dozing on and off while the Sox were getting their asses handed to them by the Blue Jays. It was only eight thirty, but after spending hours in the sun cleaning the parks, I was exhausted.
When Sam and I finished Carson's, she had asked where I was off to. Knowing I was going to hear about it, I told her Jen had asked me to clean up the other playground. Sam gave me a 'what a sap' look, but to my surprise offered to help.
The park was pretty small. Because it was in the middle of a neighborhood, it wasn't the drinking, partying hangout Carson's was and only took us an hour. After that, I treated Sam to a sundae at Dairy Queen and then dropped her off at her house.
Her mother was on the porch and invited me in, but I told her I needed to go home and shower. Fact was, in addition to being hot and tired, Sam's older sister Brenda was there, and she rode me about Jen even harder than Sam did. In fact, since I'd been with Jen, Brenda, whom I'd always gotten along well with, had been downright rude to me most of the time.
I got home just before Bill picked Mom up and was happy to see how excited she was to be going away. She asked for the hundredth time if I was comfortable with her being with Bill and I told her I was thrilled for her.
That was no lie. My father was an asshole who my mother wasted way too many years with, and I was sure a lot of that time was for my sake. Bill was a good guy who seemed to go out of his way to do all the little things for Mom that Dad never did. For the most part he was the opposite of my prick father, which made him okay in my book.
In the span of the half hour we were home together, Mom asked several times if I was seeing Jen. I was pretty sure she suspected I was glad she was going away for reasons other than her happiness. That suspicion was confirmed when Mom hugged me goodbye and said,
"I'm proud of you, Justin. You're only eighteen but more of a man than your father ever was. He was already a dog in heat by your age. I don't know what I was thinking when I married him. But you're not like him, and I'm sure Jen sees that and knows how special you are." She paused and with a sly smile added, "I think you've proved yourself a good man. Maybe it's time you were rewarded for it."
After she left, I did a few things around the house she'd asked me to do to get them out of the way, showered, and threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I figured I would just chill tonight and watch some TV. Lying there, I replayed Mom's words and couldn't help smiling.
I had no doubt that was Mom's green light to go for it, without being awkward about it. Her words had put me in a better mood. Because of my father's bullshit, I had promised Mom that I would be better and hold to values he never had, but she had officially let me off the hook.
Not that I wouldn't have had Jen over tomorrow anyway, but Mom giving me her blessing removed any feelings that I wasn't doing the right thing.
She was right. I had earned it, sitting home whacking off while all my friends had already been getting laid and having fun. Even Sam, the indifferent tomboy who didn't give a rat's ass what she looked like or what people thought of her, had found guys to mess around with.
I frowned at that last thought. It wasn't a good one, especially seeing how good a friend Sam was. I'd never once thought I was better than her or anyone else, but that was what it felt like. It also sounded like something Jen would say when making fun of other people, which she did frequently.
Sam had made that remark today, that I was different around—
I jumped when my cell rang from the coffee table in front of me. Grabbing it, I saw it was Jim, who after Sam was pretty much my closest friend.
"Hey, what's up?" I answered. "You got nothing better to do on a Saturday night besides calling a guy?"
"Hey, Justin." He didn't sound happy. "Hey, man, I need to talk to you."
"What about? I—" I stopped when I heard several people laughing and yelling in the background. "Where are you?"
"I'm at Mackerel Cove in Jamestown."
"Mackerel Cove? Hey, Jen was up there today."
"She still is. That's why I called you."
"What's going on?" I sat up on the couch.
"Look, Justin, this really sucks for me because you know you're my bud, but I'd be an asshole if I didn't say anything."
"About what?" I felt my stomach tighten. "What's going on?"
"Me and Josh ran into Jen and her friends up here when they were cleaning. She said if we helped out we could hang out with them at her uncle's house on the beach, and party. So that's where we are now and ... Justin, you know Rob is up here, right?"
"I ..." I took a deep breath. "Jim, get to the point."
"Point is, Jen was drinking from the time we got to the house at five and she was out of control. Hanging on all the guys, dancing around. Shit, she took her top off at one point."
"Jim, are you fucking with me?" Even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer, I had to ask.
"Justin, we've been friends since fourth grade. You think I'd joke about this?"
"No, I ..." I swallowed hard. "What about Rob?"
"Well, after she pretty much cock teased most of the guys there with some bumping and grinding. She pretty much gave him a damn lap dance, then grabbed a bottle of Captain someone brought, and the two of them went into the house."I closed my eyes and rubbed my throbbing temple. Jim was right; there was no way I would think he would lie to me about this.
"Hey, you there?"
"Yeah," I said softly. "She knows you and I are friends and she did it anyway."
"I said something to her and she said for me not to be a bitch and say anything."
"I can't believe this."
"Yeah, well, believe it, because then she told me if I was a good boy and didn't tell you, she'd hook up with me next weekend up here and she'd make it worth my while."
"She ... what?"
"She was drunk, so maybe she didn't mean it, but you should have seen her, Justin. You never wanted to hear it, but I knew she was a little wild—but man, there was a point I thought she was looking for a damn gang bang."
"Did you tell her you were calling me?"
"No. I didn't want to
get her going, but she made a couple of cracks earlier that she was going to be staying at your house tomorrow night. According to her, you've been good and she figured she would throw you a bone."
"Throw ... me ... a ..." My temple was throbbing harder, my shock having turned to anger.
"I feel like a dick doing this over the phone, but I'm stuck up here with Josh and we're hanging at his cousin's tomorrow. I wanted you to know before she saw you tomorrow."
"I ... I don't know if I can say thanks," I said in disgust.
"I get it. But we're tight, Justin, and this is bullshit. Dude, I don't care how hot she is, I wouldn't fuck that slut with someone else's dick. Who the hell knows where she's been?"
"I know where she won't be," I told him. As bad as I wanted to finally get laid, there was no way in hell I would get used like this.
"Good, and if she asks, you can tell her I told you."
"She'll figure it out. I'll call her tomorrow. I don't even want her coming here."
"Don't blame you." Jim sighed. "Not for nothing, but a couple of us told you she was stringing you."
"I'm glad you told me, Jim, but I don't need I told you so right now, okay?"
"That's cool man. I won't bring it up again." He laughed.
"What the hell is so funny?"
"I was just thinking I won't have to say I told you so, and neither will anyone else. Fucking Sam will be telling you that for the next six months. She had that bitch pegged from day one."
"Thanks for giving me that to look forward to," I told him dryly. "Thanks again, Jim. Now go try to have some fun."
"Yeah, I will. You be cool, bro, okay? She's not worth anything stupid and there are plenty of girls who have a thing for you. Hey! Justin, you should give Cindy a call! She's told you point-blank she wants to fuck around with you."
"Cindy's ... kind of slutty."
"So what? She wants to fuck, then go ahead and do it. Get yourself over this bitch and have some fun. You got her number, call her! You got the house to yourself. Imagine waking up to her in the morning!" He whistled into the phone. "I think she's home tonight, too, so give her a call."
I pictured Cindy with her long red hair, perfect little ass, and perky tits, and recalled her telling me, "Screw Jen, Justin. I'm a hell of a lot more fun than that stuck-up bitch."
"You know, maybe I will."
I ended the call without saying goodbye and sat back against the couch. I couldn't believe Jen had done this to me. I wasn't sold on the idea that she and I would be in it for the long haul, but I hadn't thought I was going to be part of a rotation.
I felt like a fucking loser. She was probably fucking Rob's brains out right now and planning on showing up here tomorrow like nothing had happened.
I briefly considered letting Jen come by and fucking her anyway. I had been so close to my first time. At this point I would know it didn't mean anything, but it would still be sex.
No, I wouldn't let her laugh at me like that. Jim was right. Cindy had been flirting with me since tenth grade. One phone call and she would be on her way. Again, it would mean nothing. Cindy was a big-time party girl who just liked to screw around. But unlike Jen, Cindy would point-blank say all she wanted was fun, so it wasn't as if I'd be using her or getting used.
Used. How many times had Sam said that to me just today, never mind over the last six months? She'd been absolutely right. Now I felt even worse. I'd been shitty with her earlier. I rubbed my eyes. To my dismay, I felt tears. I could act mad all I wanted to, but I was hurting. I should have fucking known not to trust Jen. She was nothing like me or the rest of my friends.
In a way, I had been like my father, thinking with my cock—not my head—and acting like a jerk just to be with her, in the hope of eventually getting some. I'd have gotten some all right. Some of Rob. Some of whoever she had been with last night.
I wiped my eyes again and realized I wasn't hurt as much as I was frustrated. I'd made good on my promise to my mother, and in all honesty I was proud that I had tried to do it the right way by finding someone I could say I loved, someone to make it special with.
For all the good it did me.
I'd made the mistake of waiting for a girl who was only waiting to 'throw me a bone' while sucking everyone else's. Now I was back at square one.The thought of meeting someone, dating them for a while, and seeing if they were the one was out of the question. I was done with that shit. Time to do what Jim and all my other friends had been doing for the last couple of years. Get fucking laid.
I scrolled through my contacts looking for Cindy's number, when I thought about Sam. Even though I was not in the mood to hear her tell me how right she was, I owed her an apology and wanted to get it over with.
Fact was, Sam was usually the first person I called when I was pissed off or upset about anything, and I was the one she always came to when she was in the same boat. I hated to dump stuff on her. But like she always said, that's what friends were for.
She answered on the second ring. "Hey, lover boy, what's up?"
"Listen, Sam, I—"
"You need help cleaning another park tonight to make sure you get your piece tomorrow?"
"Thanks, Sam." I said, "That's not what I needed to hear right now."
"Sorry, did I say that out loud?"
"You say everything out loud," I said softly. "But don't worry; I didn't call to ask you for anything."
"Hey, everything okay?" she asked. "You don't sound good."
"I'm not. I just got some bad news."
"Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Justin! I feel like a jerk! What happened, are you okay?"
The sincere concern in her voice made me feel even worse. Not just for earlier today, but for doubting that she had been looking out for me all along with Jen.
"I guess. I mean it's nothing that serious, I guess."
"What is it?"
"Jim called me. He's at a beach party in Jamestown. The same one where Jen is and ..."
"And what?"
"Sam, you were right. Jim said Jen was slutting around cock teasing all the guys and that her and Rob went into her uncle's house to fuck around."
"Holy shit! And right in front of him? " "Yeah. She ... she was even telling people she was going to do me tomorrow. She said she figured she would throw me a bone."
"Oh, wow. That's crappy, Justin. I'm really sorry."
"Are you? You called it all along."
"I ... I guess I'm not sorry in one way because this would have been worse if you found out after you slept with her, but I'm sorry for you."
"I'm sorry too, Sam. I'm sorry I was an ass today, and I ... I've been one since I met her."
"Don't be sorry. I know you were caught up with her. I think you were more focused on just trying to have the first time and getting to where you were thinking more about the act than the girl. But you don't owe me an apology."
"Yeah, I do. I guess I wasn't sold either and whenever you brought it up, I was a jerk and took it out on you."
"Hey, that's what friends are for. Besides, I rode you a lot about it." She paused. "Justin, are you okay?"
"I—no, Sam, I'm not. I'm pissed off and I'm fucking humiliated! She's up there fucking around and telling people I'm next. Are you kidding?"
"That's pretty low. I didn't think she was that bad."
"Jim said she was drinking and these are her friends, so who knows? But I—"
"It hurts," Sam finished. "I don't blame you."
"And I'm fucking frustrated!" I snapped. "I've been good, Sam, I really have, and tomorrow was supposed to be the day!"
"I know, but would you have wanted it to be with her and then you find that shit out?"
"I ... you know what? Maybe I would have."
"What?"
"Yeah, damn straight!" I was letting the anger get the better of me. "At least if I found out later I would have gotten laid!"
"Yeah, but—"
"And I made a promise about the first time. Once I do it I don't have to think abo
ut that stupid promise anymore! I can just go have some real fun like I should have been doing!"
"Justin, that promise is one of the things that make you such a good guy! You're a lot different than—"
"I don't want to be!" I yelled. "I don't want to be an asshole like my dad, but Christ, Sam, there's nothing wrong with having sex! I've missed out on a lot of fun, but know what? No more! I had my heart set on this weekend and I'm getting it!"
First Time Erotica: Volume 2 (First Time Erotica Series) Page 3