"Aren't the letters wrong? Shouldn't it be BAOC?"
Thuy giggled. "I just know he's BOAC. Maybe BAOC's too hard to say."
As we hit town, it was already getting late and most restaurants were closed. We ended up eating some greasy hamburgers and nachos at some bar stools, totally over-dressed for the occasion.
"So what about you?"
"Me?"
"Yeah, who do you want to do?"
"Like a celebrity?"
"No, I mean who are you dating. Work with me here."
"I don't have much time for girls right now."
"You've got time to look."
"I don't wanna talk about this right now."
"Jake, I've told you about every guy I can think of. We talked once about a yeast infection. Your parents. We talk about everything."
"I didn't know you had broken up with Veejay for over a month."
Thuy was silent for a second. "Yeah, I didn't know I was hiding it, but I guess I was."
"Umm, so," I began. "There's Tracy at work. I think if I wanted a sex fling, she'd be my girl."
"What do you like about her?"
"Not much actually. But she's nice and I get the idea she'd be very willing."
"Tracy puts out."
"I don't know, but she's always doing these blatant things to get my attention. She actually stared at me once sucking her finger."
"Are you sure she exists and isn't some porn fantasy?"
"If she were my fantasy, we'd be doing it."
"Why aren't you?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like... I'm waiting for someone else."
Thuy nodded. "So one girl agrees with me that you're hot, but you're not interested. Any actual dates?"
"Not too much."
"Not a single one in however many months."
"Alright, Jane, you nosy slut."
Thuy's smile broadened. "Who you calling nosy?"
"Yeah, yeah. So there was this woman in Physics."
"Oooh, a physics babe. All the cutest ones do it quantum-style."
I paused and gave Thuy my look. She quietly formed a little halo over her head with her fingers and waited.
"So, I'd noticed her the first day. Why? Ummm.. just a killer body, essentially, yeah. She's black with these amazing braids--"
"Tell me about the killer body."
"You're in a mood tonight."
Thuy said nothing.
"Fine. She's got a great ummm how do I say..."
"Rack?"
"Yeah, pretty much. And why are you looking at me like that? These long legs and big smile. I started having dreams about her. Yes, those kinds of dreams!"
"I didn't say anything. Don't yell at me.""You looked it. You're eating this up."
"I just love how nervous this makes you. I'm not going to get offended, Jake. I've always known you were a breast man. Why are you afraid to talk about the fact that you look at girls sexually?"
"I don't just look at them sexually!"
"See. You can't admit it."
"Whatever."
"Did you ever do anything about it?"
"Yes, I did actually, Ms. I-Cant-Wait-To-Be-Done-By-Soccer-Hottie."
"Hey, I've never done anything. I'm all talk. You're the one who... did you?"
"I asked her out."
"Oh, ummm, only once? Did she say yes, and did you get anywhere?"
"More than once, yes, and yes."
"Yummy! I want details."
"Maybe those are private."
"Not from me."
"Maybe they are, even to you."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Jake. I... So-- you and she? Have you?"
"Inside her? No, well, not with that."
"What did you do with her?" Thuy didn't seem to be teasing me now.
"So, we went out eight times to be exact. Dates 3 and 4 included kissing and serious tongue action. Serious petting on Date 5. Date 6, the, uhhh, shirts come off."
"Hers, too?"
"Yes."
"Go on."
"Date 7 was hands. Wandering."
Thuy whispered leaning in towards me. "How much?"
"Two fingers inside her. Why are you making me say this? And her hands too, on me."
"To... completion?"
I nodded.
After a moment, Thuy said, "Date 8?"
I smiled again for the first time in a bit. "Date 8 was different. She told me how wonderful I am, kissed my cheek repeatedly, said she wished things could be different... and told me we had to stop because she had a boyfriend."
"Oh, my poor Jake."
"It wasn't that horrible."
"What did you say?"
"One word. 'Boyfriend?'"
Thuy burst out laughing.
"I didn't know! Honest!"
"I believe you," Thuy giggled. "My poor, poor Jake."
"It's not--"
"Finally get a girl you like and you're a homewrecker."
"We weren't in love, but I was surprised. She's the smartest person in class."
"I doubt that."
"Why?"
Thuy just rolled her eyes. "That's as far as you've ever gone, right?"
"Yeah. You already know the rest."
"'K."
"How about you?"
"Me?"
"Yeah, you. You made me confess everything, so it's your turn."
"I tell you most everything already," Thuy responded.
"Yeah, exactly, most everything. What's the rest?"
"You're as bad as me."
I was copying her, it was true. So I just waited, as she had done to me.
"Ok. Jake, you really do know most everything, but Veejay and I played together some. I'm still a virgin, so you don't have to worry-- um, ask-- about that."
"But what have you done?"
"Well, he really was a very good kisser. Very good. And he liked to umm suckle or lick my breasts."
As soon as she said this, I felt my heart pumping faster.
"Did you? Do you like it?"
"It was nice."
I didn't really want to know this. "Anything else?"
"Yes, Jake." She looked at me for a second. "He wanted me... a couple times, I, I never talk about this stuff, so I don't know how to say. I took him in my mouth."
I tried not to show anything.
"How was it?"
"Mixed. Very mixed feelings. He was a good guy, Jake. A really good guy. You have to believe me."
"I do."
"But... I... it didn't. I felt like there should be something more happening than was."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if you, if you are being that intimate with someone, shouldn't I be feeling more than 'he's nice'?"
"Probably. I kind of felt the same with Kalia, that was her name. Well, I bet it was different, but she was hot and I liked her, but I knew after each date that I really just wanted to find out what this stuff was like. That was why I was going out, so that I could experience this stuff myself."
Thuy nodded. "It was actually my idea, not his. I wanted to see, too."
"Anything more to report?"
Thuy smiled and shook her heard.
"That was a weird conversation."
Thuy nodded. "You have no idea what colors you were turning as I talked."
"I can't help it. I don't know why."
"Don't worry, Jake. I was feeling the same thing. I just don't show it in my skin like you do. I wanted to hurl this mug at someone on Date 7."
"Why did you ask?"
"I guess, I wanted to know, kinda, but I also like that I have no secrets from you. It's important."
"Kalia was a nice woman, despite the fact that she was dating two people at once. And I am sure Veejay was too."
"He wasn't a woman. I just told you how I know for certain."
I smiled. "So you don't have to give me the normal lecture about lowering my standards."
"Well, most of your girlfriends of old deserved it."
"Here we go...."
"Crystal."
"Yep."
"A whole year with Crystal. I still can't believe it. She was sooo... Her freaking name was Crystal! You deserved so much more than her. That you wasted your time with... agh!"
"You've never given this up."
"Well, you keep repeating the process. She was never good enough for you!"
"You shouldn't judge her like that!"
"I'm not judging! I just know you. You were never really happy; you just liked having a girlfriend. You always settle! That's your biggest flaw. You deserved so much more!"
"Like who? Who else was I supposed to be dating that was better?"
"See? You can't honestly say she was the girl for you. You couldn't then and you can't now. She was just a nice girl."
"She was my Vee-jay, I guess."
Thuy glared at me, then said, "Yes." Then, "At least I broke up with him. She had to dump you because you are so damn loyal. I think you were happy to escape."
"I haven't seen Crystal in four years. We are talking about us as juniors. Who cares anymore?"
"I just don't think things have changed. I think you will settle again if you don't watch yourself."
"What's wrong with spending time with someone because she's nice?"
"Nothing! But you are the kind of guy who will marry that nice person and then the person you've always wanted will be gone. Out of reach forever. And it'll be your fault."
"Who is this person?! You seem to have someone in mind."
"I don't know, Jake. But you have to find her somehow, some day. And you won't ever, if you give up on her too easily."
"Show this person to me or get off my back! I don't tell you whether or not your boyfriends are good enough for you!"
"Why not?! Don't you care?! Maybe I will spend my life with one of them, screwing everything up, and you will just let it happen! Why don't you say something?!"
"Because I can't see you with anyone, OK? Because I hate--" I paused, controlling myself. What I had just said didn't make a lick of sense. "I want you to be happy. I have faith that you will figure it out. You always do. I'm not the right person to help on this. You.... Thuy, I don't know what we are fighting about."
Thuy froze and said simply, "I don't know either. I don't know why we are fighting."
"Let's stop then."
"Yeah. I don't know why I got angry. I like you too much. I just think it would kill me for you to not get everything you ever wanted."
"I don't always know what I want, to tell the truth. I wish I did. I... Sometimes, I think I know what I want, but then the thought flies away. There's an image trying to form of someone or something. Something obvious. It's just beyond my grasp."
Thuy actually gasped. "That's why I broke up with Veejay. The more I was with him, the more I kept feeling that I should be waiting for something else. That it was coming soon, and I just had to show more patience."
"What are we waiting for?"
She only shook her head. "I don't know, but... but..." She looked at me and I felt my heart pounding. The thought that I had tried to tell her about was coming into my head again, but she said, "Shouldn't we go home?"
We each threw half the money on the table as we had agreed to years before and headed out. She tossed me her keys, saying, "I'm tired." I closed the door behind her and soon the stars were flying past the window as we got out of the city, heading down 530.
I was beginning to wonder if Thuy had fallen asleep when she asked, "Jake, why didn't we ever date? Not once. We never even tried to see if it would work."
A million thoughts were swirling in my head from this evening, and all I could say was, "I don't know."
"Yes, you do. I mean-- that's not what I mean. It's just that all our lives people have wondered this. People have wanted to fix us up a hundred times. My friends ask about you. People at school who've never met you ask me about you. My mother asks me. Hell, your mom has asked me." I didn't say anything and she continued, "I know you think I look OK. If not, you fake it well. I haven't been checked out like you did in the driveway tonight in a long time. Your eyes made my Bs feel like DDs."
"I looked away!"
"I know. I don't know what I wanted to kiss you more for, looking or looking away."
Kiss me?
After a pause, still curled in the seat next to me but with her eyes open, Thuy said, "So?"
"I think that... I didn't want to risk it." There was silence. "Having you as a friend is too important to risk."
She took my hand and held it, then closed her eyes again, but spoke again after a pause. "I took you for granted, I think. It never occurred to me that you wouldn't be there, that...."
"I will always be there, Thuy."
She squeezed the hand she was holding. "I'm going to be asleep soon."
"I'll carry you to your bed."
"Your bed. I still am afraid of being alone in the house."
"Are you sure?"
I saw a slight smile form on her face. "Jake, you aren't going to take advantage of me. The idea's silly."
We didn't speak the rest of the drive home and she was soon asleep. After we got home, I did as she had bid and carried her to my bedroom. After turning on a small light for her, I headed for the door, but she mumbled something like, "trust you" and patted the bed next to her.
But I knew it wasn't a real option. Not now. Not the way I was feeling. I stood at the doorway watching her slight movements under the sheets, her chest rise and fall gently. I would never be able to say how she looked that night, but I have never forgotten a detail.
I curled up on the couch in the living room, the couch that she had laid upon for so long this afternoon, feeling her scent, touch, and voice. After some time, I fell asleep.
--
I awoke the next morning to some rattling in the kitchen. I opened my eyes to find a disheveled Thuy still in her black dress with hair shooting all over the place getting a glass of water. She stumbled half-asleep to the kitchen table where she plopped down stony-eyed.
Wrapping my sheet around me, since I was in boxers only, I shuffled over to get some coffee going. "Oh, good," was all she said, and I joined her in a chair in my own sleep haze. We sat there listening to the coffee pot. "You look hysterical," she said in a completely flat voice. "I think squirrels played in your hair all night and one side of your face is covered in pillow lines. You're a squirrel wrestling zebra."
"I think some of your hair is in Missouri."
"I'll be untangling it for a week. My dress has more wrinkles than a pug dog's face." I poured two cups of coffee for us and tossed her some creamer. "I think my throat is dry from yesterday. We talked for eight hours straight by my reckoning."
"Coffee cures scratchy throats, I'm sure."
She giggled and continued nursing her cup.
"Thuy, do you remember last night much or too asleep?"
"I remember that we got angry at each other for the first time since... the last time we talked about Crystal."
I laughed. "Yeah. How about after that?"
"I can't tell you what I've forgotten."
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"Jake, just ask me."
"'K," I wasn't sure I really wanted to bring it up, but it was the only thing on my mind, so it was talk about this or don't talk. "You asked why we never dated."
"I remember that. You told me it was because you thought I was a hideous bitch and you'd rather kiss a snake. Then I slapped you so hard you turned off the road into an oncoming car. We are now in heaven."
"So you remember."
She hesitated. "I remember we came up with reasons for the past, but we never got around to the present."
"You mean, why don't we try dating now?"
"Yeah," Thuy's voice was so quiet I could barely hear her. "We didn't talk about that."
First Time Erotica: Volume 2 (First Time Erotica Series) Page 25