Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend

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Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend Page 9

by Audrey Shulman


  “This is going to sound crazy, but did I ever give you cake in a bar?”

  Hopefully, that will at least get the conversation going, and I’ll know where to take it from there.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  There’s no way this book could have ever come together without the love and support of so many sugar monsters. Thank you to my amazing sister Madeline, who always gives the best writing advice of all. Thank you to my sweet Mom and Dad for believing in me, believing in this project, and spreading the good gospel of cakebarring throughout the southland. Thank you to my darling best friends Chrissy and Katy, the most incredible cheerleaders who lived, breathed, and ate this book with me. Thank you to my manager Mike De Trana for coming into my life with literal and emotional jumper cables last year. Thank you to Holly Dolce at Abrams for seeing the potential in my blog for a funny baking book, and to Cait Hoyt at CAA for hopping on the train shortly after. Thank you to my brilliant editor Camaren Subhiyah for her unfailingly excellent guidance, and the hugely talented Patricia Austin and Liana Krissoff for their respective recipe consulting. An enormous thank you to Darilyn Lowe Carnes and John Gall for their vision and art design, and to Jennifer Orkin Lewis for creating the gorgeous illustrations that make this book so beautiful and fun. Thank you to my inspiring Nashville mentors, Judy Lewis and Ann Patchett, for helping me steer my ship in life and on the page. Thank you to my surrogate family—Melanie, Larry, Evie, and Henry—for all their generosity and warmth, and to my bosses—Rabih, Fernando, and Chris—for my day job and the occasional boy advice.

  Thank you to my saintly friends who went cakebarring at all hours of the night that year, having their ankles licked and nose studs nearly ripped out:

  Ginny, John W., Dave, Marcella, Alex, Elizabeth G., Ashley G., Stacy, Laurie, Savannah, Jen S., Kirsten, Sean, Andy, Nick, Monica B., Vlada, Katie R.B., Katie E.B., Georgia, Chris, Sarah, Emily A., Andra, Carrie, Natalie, Sam, Becky, Vin, Petra, Katie O., Liz, Michelle, Ashlei, Val; my cousins Jobie, Laura, Lindsey, Amy and Emily G.; my sweet Nana Myrna for her baking help; Jon A., Emma, Jenny, Annabeth, Connor, Mike N., Emily C., Jen B., Lauren O., Mara, Tobie, Laura Beth, James, Anna Z., Mary Claire, Rita, Dean, Christine, Hunter Claire, Adam, Ziona, Mallory, Neely, Anna F., Nikki, Dani, Lauren B., Justine, Kathryn, Peter, Heidi, Stephanie, Jalika, Rachel, Allison, Kathi, Talia, Monica V., Marco, Ashley A., Alicia, Christiana, Jonathan, Iliza, Mike B., Jennie, Avery, Hannah, Claire, Elizabeth S., Meagan, Kelly, Russell, and Kathleen.

  I couldn’t have done it without you guys.

  And last but certainly not least, thank you to all the boys who ate the cake (or didn’t eat the cake), and thank you to Jamie, the last boy I baked for.

  INDEX OF SEARCHABLE TERMS

  A

  Adoree, Angel

  advice

  alcohol–cake pairings

  almond meal

  Bear Claw Cake

  almonds, sliced

  Bear Claw Cake

  apples

  (Let’s Get) Baked Apple Granola Cake

  Are You My Boyfriend (book)

  artichoke hearts

  Artichoked Cake

  Attwood, Nina

  avocados

  Chocolate-Avocado Frosting

  B

  bacon

  Bacon Sponge Cake

  badasses

  banana chips

  bananas

  Chocolate-Bananas Cake

  Chocolate-Coconut Frosting

  Be Your Own Dating Service (book)

  beer

  Sloppy Joe Cake

  being full

  Belgian endive (chicory)

  Chocolate Chick-ory Cake

  Beyoncé

  Bieber, Justin

  Black Russian

  boy personality types

  brandy

  Brandy Frosting

  Seedy Cherry Cocktail Cake

  Bundt cakes

  Bear Claw

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped

  Great Scot Skirlie

  Olive Oil

  Orange Marmalade

  Skinny Espresso

  Sloppy Joe

  Byrn, Anne

  C

  cake fails

  cake knives

  The Cake Mix Doctor (book)

  cakes, bitter

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped

  Chocolate Poppy Seed

  Gin and Tonic

  Hidden Layer Chocolate-Raspberry Torte

  Olive Oil

  Orange-You-Glad-We-Met Marmalade

  Skinny Espresso

  cakes, fruity

  Chocolate-Bananas

  (Let’s Get) Baked Apple Granola

  Melonhead

  Peachy Keen

  Puckering Lime

  Sangria Party

  Seedy Cherry Cocktail

  cakes, salty

  Bacon Sponge

  Bear Claw

  Chocolate Prune

  Great Scot Skirlie

  Peanut Brittle

  Pretzel Roulette

  cakes, savory

  Artichoked

  Chocolate Chick-ory

  Curry Carrot

  Sage

  Squashed Blossom

  Sweet Pea

  Sweet Potato

  cakes, sweet

  Angel Food

  Blushing Berry

  Chocolate Marshmallow

  Dreamsicle

  Sticky Maple Kiss

  Sweet Greek Walnut

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  candy bars, for decoration

  Toffee Frosting

  carrots

  Curry Carrot Cake

  cauliflower

  Cauliflower Frosting

  cereal, sugary

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  Champagne

  alcohol and cake pairings

  Champagne Frosting

  cheesecake

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  cherries

  Seedy Cherry Cocktail Cake

  chickory root, roasted

  Chocolate Chick-ory Cake

  The Chiffons

  chocolate, bittersweet

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  Chocolate Poppy Seed Cake

  Hidden Layer Chocolate-Raspberry Torte

  chocolate cake mix

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  chocolate cakes

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  Chocolate-Bananas Cake

  Chocolate Chick-ory Cake

  Chocolate Marshmallow Cake

  Chocolate Poppy Seed Cake

  Chocolate Prune Cake

  Hidden Layer Chocolate-Raspberry Torte

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  chocolate chips

  bittersweet

  white

  chocolate sandwich cookies

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  cocoa cereal

  in Sloppy Joe Cake

  coconut, sweetened and shredded

  Chocolate-Bananas Cake

  Chocolate-Coconut Frosting

  Dreamsicle Cake

  coconut, unsweetened and shredded

  Chocolate-Coconut Frosting

  coconut oil

  Chocolate-Coconut Frosting

  Cracker Jacks

  Cracker Jack Frosting

  cream cheese

  Cauliflower Frosting

  Chocolate Poppy Seed Cake

  Dandelion Frosting

  Great Scot Skirlie Cake

  Hidden Layer Chocolate-Raspberry Torte

  Pumpkin Frosting

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  crème fraîche

  D

  Daft Punk

  dandelion petals, organic

  Dandelion Frosting

  Do’s and don’ts of sitting in bars with cakes

  Drinking with Men (book)

  dry cake

  Dylan, Bob

  E

  Earnhardt, Dale,
Jr.

  email

  embarrassing moments

  engagement

  engagement rings

  Ephron, Nora

  F

  Fast Times at Ridgemont High

  female behavior in bars

  fillings

  pistachio

  football

  Frambozen

  frostings

  Balsamic Glaze

  Brandy

  Cauliflower

  Champagne

  Cheap-Wine

  Chocolate

  Chocolate-Avocado

  Chocolate-Coconut

  Cracker-Jack

  Crème Fraîche

  Dandelion

  Drippy Caramel

  Fizzy

  Gingery

  Honey

  Lime Zest

  Marmalade Glaze

  Minty

  Old-Fashioned

  Orange

  Pine Nut

  Potato Chip

  Pumpkin

  Ricotta

  Salty

  Sesame Seed

  Sour

  Southern Comfort

  Toffee

  Triple Sec

  Yogurt

  fruit

  apples

  avocado

  bananas

  peaches

  raspberries

  strawberries

  further reading

  G

  garnishes apples

  bananas

  carrot shavings

  coconut, shredded

  Hershey’s Kisses

  lime

  mint leaves

  peanuts

  potato chips

  raspberries

  sage leaves

  squash blossoms

  strawberries

  walnuts

  gin

  Gin and Tonic Cake

  Lime Zest Frosting

  ginger ale

  glazes

  Balsamic

  Marmalade

  goat cheese

  Squashed Blossom Cake

  Gosling, Ryan

  grandmothers

  granola

  (Let’s Get) Baked Apple Granola Cake

  Greek yogurt

  Gingery Frosting

  Yogurt Frosting

  H

  Ham Biscuits (book)

  Hannah, Daryl

  Heartburn (book)

  Help! I Can’t Think of a Thing to Say (book)

  honey

  Angel Food Cake

  Chocolate-Avocado Frosting

  Gingery Frosting

  Greek Walnut Cake

  Honey Frosting

  (Let’s Get) Baked Apple Granola

  Pine Nut Frosting

  Sesame Seed Frosting

  honeydew

  Melonhead Cake

  Houston, Thelma

  I

  I Like You (book)

  ice cream cake

  J

  James, Etta

  Jell-O

  Blushing Berry Cake

  K

  Ke$ha

  L

  lemon juice

  Artichoked Cake

  Gingery Frosting

  Olive Oil Cake

  Sage Cake

  Sweet Greek Walnut Cake

  lessons learned

  limeade, frozen

  Puckering Lime Cake

  The Little Mermaid on Ice

  M

  Madeira

  marijuana

  marmalade

  married men

  mini marshmallows

  Chocolate Marshmallow Cake

  mint

  Minty Frosting

  Moscow Mule

  Moulin Rouge soundtrack

  N

  Nash, Kate

  nuts

  peanuts

  pine nuts

  walnuts

  O

  O’Connor, Sinead

  olive oil

  Olive Oil Cake

  Sweet Pea Cake

  onions

  Sweet Pea Cake

  online dating

  orange juice

  Dreamsicle Cake

  Orange Frosting

  Orange-You-Glad-We-Met

  Marmalade Cake

  Sweet Greek Walnut Cake

  P

  Pandora radio

  party bus

  peach puree

  Peachy Keen Cake

  peanut butter

  Peanut Brittle Cake

  in Sloppy Joe Cake

  peas, pureed

  Sweet Pea Cake

  Peevey, Maria

  Penn, Sean

  Perelman, Deb

  personal space issues

  pickup lines

  pie preference

  Pilsner

  pine nuts

  Pine Nut Frosting

  pistachios

  Pretzel Roulette Cake

  Pistachio Filling

  playlists

  poppy seeds

  Chocolate Poppy Seed Cake

  potato chips

  Bacon Sponge Cake

  Potato Chip Frosting

  Pretzel Roulette Cake

  pretzels

  Sloppy Joe Cake

  prune baby food

  Chocolate Prune Cake

  pumpkin puree

  R

  raspberries

  Reed, Julia

  rejections

  ricotta cheese

  Sage Cake

  Ricotta Frosting

  Riesling

  Rihanna

  rolled oats

  Great Scot Skirlie Cake

  S

  sage

  Sage Cake

  salted caramel popcorn

  Cracker Jack Frosting

  Sangria

  Schaap, Rosie

  Schneider, Meg F.

  Sedaris, Amy

  sesame seeds

  Sesame Seed Frosting

  The Smitten Kitchen (book)

  social cues, missed

  soulDecision

  sour cream

  Bear Claw Cake

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  Chocolate-Bananas Cake

  Chocolate Prune Cake

  (Let’s Get) Baked Apple Granola Cake

  Pine Nut Frosting

  Potato Chip Frosting

  Sesame Seed Frosting

  Skinny Espresso Cake

  Sweet Potato Cake

  Southern Comfort

  Chocolate Marshmallow Cake

  Spears, Britney

  Splash

  stand-up comedy

  Stephanopoulos, George, look-alike

  strawberries

  sweet potatoes

  Sweet Potato Cake

  Swift, Taylor

  T

  tahini

  Sesame Seed Frosting

  This American Life podcast

  tortes

  Hidden Layer Chocolate-Raspberry

  trail mix

  triple sec

  Sangria Party Cake

  V

  vegetables

  carrots

  potato (chips)

  pumpkin

  squash

  sweet potato,

  The Vintage Tea Party Book (book)

  vodka

  W

  walnuts

  Sweet Greek Walnut Cake

  weddings

  white chocolate

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  white chocolate chips

  Peachy Keen Cake

  White Chocolate Gravel Cheesecake

  White Russian

  wine

  Bitter Chocolate Dumped Cake

  Cheap-Wine Frosting

  Sangria Party Cake

  winter squash

  Squashed Blossom Cake

  worst cake

  Y

  yogurt, plain

  Curry Carrot Cake

  Pretzel Roulette Cake

  Puckering Lime Cake

>   See also Greek yogurt

 

 

 


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