Her gaze traveled once again to the bag from the drugstore on the corner. She didn’t want to take the test, but she did. Wanted it to be done and negative, but the very real possibility that it could be positive kept her from going into the bathroom and just peeing on the stupid thing.
She’d bought two different kinds. This way if she got a positive, she’d have a backup. She figured she’d just use them both because she couldn’t screw them both up.
A knock on the door alerted her to Jen’s presence. She went and opened it, and Jason pounced on her. She grabbed him up in a big hug and carried him inside.
“I’ve told you not to do that, Jason,” Jen said. She sounded tired.
“No way. Jason’s hugs always make me feel better,” Laken said. Before she could get any more cuddles, Jason hopped down and attacked the box of stuffed animals in the corner of her living room.
As soon as he was busy playing, Jen pulled her into a hug. “Thank you, again, for saving my ass at Coffee Hut.”
“It’s not a big deal. I got another job offer so it worked out for both of us. Stop thanking me.”
Jen shrugged out of her threadbare jacket, too light for the chilliness of the day. It was probably all she had. “So, what’s going on?”
Blushing, Laken handed Jen the bag so she could look inside.
“Oh. Oh! Are you—do you really think you are?”
Laken took Jen’s hand and held it tight. “That’s why I need you here, so I can figure it out.”
They both stared at the innocuous bag in Jen’s hand for a minute. Finally, Jen spoke up. “Why don’t you go ahead and take them. Cap them, and bring them to me. I’ll set a timer on my phone.”
Relief flushed through Laken. “You’ll be in charge of watching them? And then let me know?”
“Well, honey, it’s not that hard to watch them. They just sit there.”
“Of course. I know that, it’s just… let’s hope for a negative, all right?” Laken picked up the bag and made her way to her bathroom. She took both tests, then washed her hands, and carried them back to Jen.
“Okay, five minutes starting… now.” Jen gave her a once-over. “So who is he?”
Oh, who was he? What a loaded question. Just her boss, just her dad’s best friend of twenty years. Just someone who’d leave her once he found out he’d gotten her pregnant.
He’d probably assumed she was on some kind of birth control. But, why would she be? Before him, she wasn’t having sex. “I can’t tell you his name,” was all she would say to Jen.
“Will he, you know, be a dad?” Jen sent a pointed look at her son playing quietly in the corner. His dad was nowhere to be found. Didn’t even bother sending child support, birthday cards—nothing.
“I don’t even know if he would want a child.” Laken ran a hand through her hair, staring at the test sticks on the table.
“It’s not whether he wants one. It’s whether he’ll do the right thing.” Jen picked up one stick, then the other.
Her face fell, and then the bottom collapsed on Laken’s world. She knew before grabbing the tests what they would say, and she was right. They were both positive.
Chapter Four
Trevor knew a bar on the seedy side of town and had decided he was going to take Laken there. They could at least go out for a couple of drinks, get a burger, before going back to her house to hide out and spend the evening making love.
He hated treating her like his dirty little secret. She deserved so much more than that.
When they got to the bar, he came around the car and opened her door for her. She gave him her hand and he helped her out, pulling her close in the process. He planted a kiss on her luscious lips.
For someone who’d been a virgin the first time they made love, Laken had made a devoted student. She’d learned very quickly how to please him and how to take control and please herself as well. He loved that about her. Nothing intimidated her.
Still, she’d been preoccupied the last few days, but when he asked her about it, she’d say it was “nothing.” Maybe it was the fact that Christmas Eve was tomorrow and she didn't know how to ask if they'd spend it together. Trevor had no one else. Thank Christ he had Laken.
He'd bought her diamond stud earrings that he could only hope she'd accept. He'd even ordered a catered dinner to be brought to his house on Christmas Day. He hoped she liked the surprise. So far, he was acting like tomorrow was just another day.
He led her into the bar and they found a corner booth. A waiter came up to take their order, wearing black jeans and a black tee shirt stretched across a massive chest. The guy must spend hours in the gym. He was also about Laken’s age.
The waiter sized Laken up while Trevor sat there and watched and a churning started in his stomach. The waiter took Trevor’s order and then said, “And what can I get the beautiful lady?”
Laken wasn’t paying him much attention, which Trevor appreciated but he couldn’t help but wonder. If they weren’t together, would she have been interested in his flattery?
Pulling him from his thoughts, Laken took his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll have a burger and fries. And, to drink, just a coke, please.”
The server gave her a wink and headed behind the bar.
She scooted out of the booth. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go freshen up before our food gets here.”
The drinks came and the server left again. When Trevor noticed him again, he realized the guy had cornered Laken coming out of the bathroom. He obviously wanted her number. She was shaking her head no, but the guy just kept talking.
Trevor stood and stalked over there, rage blanketing his vision, turning everything red. When he got within earshot, Laken had put her hands on the guys chest. “Look, I’m here with my boyfriend. I’m not interested.”
“That old dude is your boyfriend? I thought he was your dad.” The server took a step back. “That’s really sick, you know?”
It felt like the guy had punched him in the gut, so it wasn’t such a stretch when Trevor spun him around and let his fist fly, punching the server in the face.
The guy’s nose spurted blood, and he grabbed it, pulling a dishtowel from his apron. “I’m calling the cops!” he shouted.
Laken put her hands on her cheeks. “What are you doing?” she cried at Trevor.
“Saving you.” He grabbed her hand, threw two twenties down on the bar, and stalked outside.
She pulled up short at the car and yanked her hand free. “I didn’t need saving. I can handle myself.”
Her boyfriend, that’s what she’d called him, he remembered. She could easily have given the guy her number, but she didn’t. That meant a lot.
Maybe he was just jealous, and it made him want to punish her for being beautiful and young. He pulled her into his arms and crushed her mouth with his. He nipped at her lips and she let out a whimper.
He wasn’t punishing her, he realized. His cock ached with need. He had to be inside of her—he was only punishing himself.
He plastered her against the car and let his hand slip under her shirt. Her hard nipple poked through the lacy bra she wore under her blouse.
She shoved at him, hard. He staggered back as she swiped at her swollen lips. “Stop it!”
Her voice sounded near tears and that got to him more than if she’d slapped him. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Get in the car, I’m taking you home.”
“I’ll catch a bus.” She shook her head. “I mean it. Go on home, I’ll find my own way.”
He looked at her, hurt. He could see she meant it, she didn’t want him near her right now. He got into his car, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d pushed her into another man’s arms.
***
Laken woke up the next morning with a damp pillow. She’d cried herself to sleep. First, she found out she was pregnant and before she could even say anything, Trevor had turned into an obnoxious jerk.
It was Christmas Eve, so she
didn’t have to work. She climbed out of bed and a wave of nausea hit her. She had to stand really still until it finally passed.
She thought with a smile about the cufflinks she’d saved up to buy for Trevor. They’d get this argument sorted out tonight.
She ran a hand through her tangled curls and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. Somewhere, she’d read that it was good to drink OJ when you were pregnant.
She curled up on her couch, one leg beneath her, and wondered what she was going to do. When should she tell Trevor she was pregnant? Would he be happy or think she was trying to trap him?
A knock at the door pulled her from her deep thoughts. She crossed the few steps to the door and opened it to find Trevor. His presence, looking like he’d slept in his clothes, hit her like a smack to the face. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him just yet.
“We should talk, Laken.”
It didn’t look like he’d even ran a comb through his dark hair. Something unsettling squirmed to life in her stomach, worse than the queasiness she’d just experienced. “Come in, then, I guess.”
“You guess… I suppose I deserve that. There was a time, before last night, you’d have welcomed me with open arms into your home. Your bed,” he said.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. You look like you spent the night drinking and you’re starting to scare me.”
He grasped her elbows. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, darling.”
She moved away from him, back to the couch to perch on the edge. “I’m not afraid of you. But why are you here so early? Why haven’t you been to bed?”
Grabbing a kitchen chair, he brought it over to the living area and sat down.
Why didn’t he just sit with her? There was plenty of room on the couch. She found a hair tie on the coffee table and used it to pull her hair away from her face. “Maybe you should go lie down for a while. We can talk about yesterday when you get some rest,” she said.
“We need to talk about tomorrow, and the day after that. All the days after that.”
She shook her head. He still wasn’t making any sense to her. “All right. Talk.”
“I’ve stayed up all night thinking. And drinking. Facing up to reality.”
“And what’s that?” she asked him, rubbing her damp palms on her shorts.
“I don’t deserve you. You’re too young for me, or more to the point, I’m too old for you.” He said it with a straight face. If he felt anything over his words, she would’ve seen it.
It was like someone had plunged a knife into her heart and twisted. She suddenly realized she loved him, but it was already too late. What would she do about her child now? Tell him? Beg him not to leave her alone, the way everyone else in her life had?
No, she wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t beg. The only indication she gave was a sniffle that she masked by rubbing her nose. “If that’s what you want, then you don’t need my permission. But don’t act like you’re doing this for me. You’re just one more man who let me down.”
“But, don’t you see” —he held out two pleading hands to her— “you deserve a life of your own without me in it.”
She shut her eyes, tears prickling in them. “I think you should go now.”
“I understand.” Trevor stood slowly like he hurt all over. “We’ll get you transferred to someone else at the office. I don’t want you to think your job is in jeopardy.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about right now.” She hopped up to open the door. “Please, just go.”
When she shut it behind him, loud sobs wracked her body. She was in love with the son-of-a-bitch, and he couldn’t wait to get away from her. She’d meant nothing to him.
***
Trevor sat in his office on Christmas Eve with his feet up on the desk, all alone, with a bottle of bourbon. He was trying to focus on the numbers. Their profits had increased, thanks to Laken’s suggestions, but not enough to keep Eleanor from forcing him to sell the company.
His thoughts wouldn’t stop returning to Laken. The day he’d met her in Coffee Hut, by chance. This gorgeous woman behind the counter, someone he knew, and he could do something to make her life better. Give her a good job, with benefits and normal hours.
And what had he done? Lusted after her, filled his mind with filthy thoughts of her, of things he’d wanted to do to her.
Their first kiss, she’d looked up at him like he’d hung the stars for her. Her words haunted him. It was heavenly. And I want to do it again.
And, God help him, the first time he’d taken her. The way he’d pressed her against the wall and assaulted her senses until she came all over his greedy hands. That had been her first time. She’d never forget it, and now she’d have to think of him whenever she took a lover.
His hand clenched around the bottle. He never wanted to think of her taking another lover. He wanted to be the man who held her, pleasured her, cared for her, for the rest of his life.
He sat up in his chair, feet flying to the floor. Jesus, he’d fallen in love with her. He’d left her because he couldn’t stand the thought of making her miserable, that he wasn’t enough to make her happy. He’d left her, even though he wanted her more than water, more than air.
And, damn, he’d made a colossal mistake. He didn’t want to set her free. Hell, she was a grown woman. She could make her own choices. What he wanted to do was go to her, ask for her forgiveness, and love her until the day he died. And maybe a little longer after that, because he couldn’t imagine any situation in which he wouldn’t still love her. He’d probably pine for her in the afterlife.
He crossed the room and swung a painting on hinges out. He had a ring in his wall safe, one that his grandmother had given him. He’d never given it to his wife because it just never felt right. He’d thought maybe he’d have kids one day and he’d pass the ring onto them. Maybe he still could.
But first, he decided as he punched in the combination, he’d give it to Laken and ask her to be his wife.
He pulled out several papers, stocks and bonds, and a thin envelope he’d never seen before. He reached for the ring, but something nagged him about that envelope. He hadn’t put that in here, and the only other person who had the combination—Laken’s father—was dead.
He slid a finger under the flap and opened it. A document was inside, stapled together along the top. He flipped to the back page and saw a notary’s stamp and seal. He turned back to the first page and scanned it.
Shit, this was the elusive will no one could find! Frank had stuck it in Trevor’s safe to protect it, make sure someone unbiased would find it, and Trevor hadn’t been in the safe since before Frank had died.
It had never occurred to him Frank would put the will here. Why hadn’t the big lug just filed it with an attorney? Frank always did things the hard way.
Trevor scanned the will and sat down on his couch as his legs turned to rubber. Laken had told him about her stepmother keeping her college fund savings and Eleanor wanted to sell the business she’d inherited.
The beauty of finding this document was that Frank had left a considerable sum of money and his half of the company to his daughter. Eleanor held zero stake in the company. Laken was half-owner in the business she’d been working as a secretary for.
Trevor strode with determination to the copy machine. He’d go file this at the courthouse after Christmas so it would become a directive for Frank’s estate and then he’d take a copy to Laken. He’d help her hire a lawyer and she could get what she deserved.
He paused as the copies came out into the tray. There was just one problem. What if she didn’t believe he loved her? What if she believed he was only trying to marry her because she now owned one-half of his company? He could only hope he could convince her of the truth.
Chapter Five
Laken picked up the stuffed animals all over her living room, holding one of the teddy bears close, as she tried to straighten up. Jen and Jason had com
e and gone, bearing handmade Christmas gifts. Laken felt no better. Jen had tried to console her, once Laken told her about her affair with her father’s business partner and best friend, by telling Laken that Trevor was too old for her.
Laken couldn’t care less about that. Trevor was a good, genuine, caring man and she wanted him in her life forever. Even more important, she wanted him in the baby’s life forever.
Here she was, alone on Christmas Eve, pregnant, single, and broke, and she didn’t know what to do with herself. She put the stuffed animals away but kept the teddy bear she was cuddling. Somehow, it made her feel just the smallest bit better. She loved Trevor—she knew that now. Now that he’d left her, she realized she shouldn’t have been so hard on him just because he got jealous.
She should have let him explain and reassured him. Of course he was a little insecure about their age difference. Anyone would be. But she only wanted him, and she hadn't made him see that.
She’d go to Trevor and try to talk some sense into him, except there was the baby to think about now. What if he thought she’d gotten pregnant to try to trap him into marrying her? It happened, sometimes, especially to men with money and a business, like Trevor. For that matter, what if he thought she just wanted a way into her father’s company and she was just using him to get her foot in the door? To fight Eleanor as an equal, finally.
She knew Eleanor wanted to sell the company her dad and Trevor had worked so hard to build, so she and her kids could live off the fruits of her father’s labor. What if he thought she just wanted revenge on Eleanor?
Damn it all, if a million what-ifs didn’t race through her mind. She cared about the company, but she wanted Trevor more.
She wanted a stable life for her baby, but it wasn’t just that. She adored Trevor, she loved him, and all she wanted was to spend the rest of their lives together.
Clutching the teddy bear tighter, Laken realized she couldn’t keep living in fear of the dreaded “what-if.” She had to tell Trevor the truth. She was pregnant with his child and she was in love with him. The worst he could say was that he didn’t want either of them.
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