by Lulu Taylor
I must go home.
As she comes out of the door, something whizzes past her ear and smashes into the stone archway. She gasps and jumps, and turns to see a clod of earth has exploded against the church wall. Another lands beside it with a thud, making her duck with fright.
‘Yah, yah, heathen!’ comes a jeering call and she looks over to see a group of dirty-kneed boys in the churchyard, grinning at her, their hands full of earth.
‘Stop it, you horrible boys!’ she shouts, trying to sound braver than she feels. ‘You nasty little wretches. Go home at once, or I’ll tell your mothers.’
‘My mother won’t talk to the likes of you,’ retorts one. ‘She says you’re all Devil worshippers up there, should be burnt at the stake.’
Letty gasps, horrified to hear such things in the mouth of a child. ‘What awful nonsense, she shouldn’t say such a thing! It’s wicked and wrong.’
‘Yah!’ shouts another, and, determined not to miss out, hurls his fistful of mud at her. It lands some way in front of her. He is a bad shot.
‘Stop it,’ cries Letty again. ‘How dare you?’
‘Our dad says you ought to be whipped,’ jeers another. ‘Shall we whip her, boys?’
For a moment, Letty feels frightened. There are about eight of them, strong young things, and they seem to think they have some kind of permission from their elders to torment her. What if they take it in their heads to hurt her for real? I mustn’t let them see I’m afraid. As she gathers herself to sound authoritative, she hears another voice.
‘Go home at once, young Stanley. Go home right now, do you hear?’ Coming through the lychgate is a familiar figure, waving her arms at the children. ‘All of you, clear off! Troublemakers!’
The boys grumble but drop their dirt and wander away to whatever adventures they interrupted to enjoy a bit of sport with her.
‘Oh Enid,’ Letty says with relief, smiling at the former housemaid. ‘Thank you, thank you so much.’
Enid’s gaze meets hers for a moment and then slides away. ‘You’re all right, miss. I couldn’t help hearing them. They shouldn’t talk to you like that, no matter what.’
‘How are you, Enid? Have you found another place since you left us?’
‘Yes, miss. I’ve a place up at the hall in Wilmington. It’s my day off and I’m visiting my mother.’
‘That’s good. Do you like it there?’
Enid opens her mouth to answer and then closes it. A moment later, she says, ‘I’m sorry, miss, I’m not allowed to talk to you.’
Letty goes towards her slowly as if afraid of scaring her off. ‘Enid, do you know why all this is happening? No one in the village will speak to me. They’re all cutting me dead. What’s wrong with everyone?’
Enid looks a little exasperated. ‘You can’t pretend you don’t know, miss! I’m fond of you, I always have been. You’ve always been good to me. But what’s going on up at your house . . .’
‘What do you mean?’ Letty is genuinely surprised. ‘It’s a good and holy life we’re living at the house.’
Enid laughs. ‘Holy? That’s not what we’ve been hearing.’
‘What have you heard?’ Letty asks, a trifle coldly.
‘That you’re all getting married to each other, for one. They say it’s a free-for-all.’
‘What?’ Letty is horrified.
Enid nods. ‘We’ve heard it. That you’re being exhorted to do unmentionable things up there. And’ – she flushes pink – ‘that reverend, the one the bishop has sent back in disgrace, he’s making claims that are very wicked. He wants to be Jesus. That’s what we’ve heard.’
‘Oh. And who have you heard it from?’ Letty feels a little faint. ‘No, don’t worry. I can guess.’
It must be Cecily and Edward, fanning the flames of gossip and misunderstanding. They want the community to fail. They care only for the family’s wealth, not for the good of their immortal souls.
‘Listen, Enid,’ she says urgently, ‘you must tell people they are quite mistaken. First, there have been two marriages, it is true. The Reverend Silas married Albertina and the Reverend Gilbert married Nancy Nuttall. But they are spiritual unions only. Believe me, there is no immorality at the house. The Beloved would not allow it. He believes that all fleshly temptations are the work of the Devil. And’ – she laughs to show the ludicrousness of the suggestion – ‘we don’t worship the Devil! We follow the Lamb like everyone else.’
Enid looks suspicious. ‘Really, miss?’
‘Of course.’ Letty laughs again. ‘Do you think I look like a Devil worshipper?’
‘Why d’you go to your own church then? Why not our church? Isn’t it good enough for you?’
‘Of course it is. But, Enid, the Beloved knows some truths that others don’t or won’t believe. That’s why we have to be separate.’ She puts her hand out and touches Enid’s sleeve. ‘You should come and join us. Be saved. We are happy and you can be too.’
Enid shakes her head. ‘No. No. I couldn’t.’ She stares at Letty for a moment and says, ‘I’m glad you’re all right. I’ve been worried about you. I didn’t like to think of you dancing about naked in that church, or doing unmentionables on the altar while begging to be Satan’s bride.’
Letty gasps and then laughs in horror. ‘Oh Enid, you couldn’t think that?’
Enid flushes. ‘Well. It’s what they’re saying. And worse. But I can’t repeat it so don’t ask me to.’ She looks about quickly and guiltily. ‘I have to go now. But, miss, you ought to know that they’re turning ugly against you all. There’s mutterings that your place ought to be burnt down, and everyone in it. You should get out while you can.’
‘That’s ridiculous. No one would do anything so wicked!’
Enid shakes her head, her eyes fearful. ‘Don’t you believe it, miss. They think you’re worshipping Beelzebub up there and that burning’s too good for you.’
‘Tell people they’re wrong!’ cries Letty. ‘You mustn’t let them believe such awful lies.’
‘I’ll try,’ Enid throws over her shoulder. ‘But I don’t think it will do no good.’
Back at the house, Letty feels almost as though she has a dirty secret. As she crosses the hall, glimpsing several ladies reading sedately in the drawing room, she feels suddenly angry that such awful things should be whispered about them all.
‘Nasty, horrible gossip!’ she says to herself crossly as she goes up the stairs. ‘They should all mind their own business. Besides, anyone can come here at any time and see for themselves.’ She has a sudden mental image of herself as Enid described: writhing on the altar, begging to be the bride of Satan, and she is sickened. ‘How can people say such vile things?’
‘Letty! Letty.’ Kitty is coming up the stairs behind her, pounding and breathless. ‘You’re wanted in the library.’
A rush of pleasure warms her stomach, along with apprehension. ‘Me? The Beloved wants to see me? Are you sure?’
‘Of course I am. He’s asked for you particularly.’
‘Then I’ll go at once.’ She hands Kitty her packages. ‘Could you take these to my room, please, Kitty?’ She straightens her skirt – brown tweed as she has just been out – smooths down her unruly hair as best she can, and runs lightly down the stairs to the library door, where she knocks.
‘Come in,’ booms the Beloved’s voice, and she opens the door and goes in.
It is gloomy as ever in the library, and the Beloved is at his desk, which is scattered with papers and great leather-bound books.
‘Ah, Letty,’ says the Beloved. ‘Thank you for coming to see me.’
Letty is almost overcome with the honour of an interview all on her own. She has never, she realises, been alone with the Beloved before. The magnetism of his presence focused entirely on her is almost too much to bear.
‘Come here.’ He gestures to the red leather chair in front of his desk. ‘Sit down.’
Letty obeys, and makes herself as comfortable as she can while feeling s
o awkward.
‘How are you, my child?’
‘Very well, thank you, Beloved.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. I’ve been watching your progress here. You are doing so very well, so very well.’
Letty flushes with pleasure. ‘Thank you.’
‘Your quiet good sense, your dutiful obedience, the way you open your spirit to my words. I have seen it all.’
She feels a swell of pleasure within. She knows that the Beloved sees all.
‘Thank you,’ she says humbly. ‘I have taken my first steps along the path.’
‘Of course, of course. But never forget, you are of the elect. You are guaranteed to stay with me for the glorious transition from this life to the next.’
‘Yes, yes,’ she whispers, thrilled at the thought.
‘Here we wait, in the sure and certain hope of eternal life,’ the Beloved says, smiling. Then he leans towards Letty, stretching one long arm over the leather desktop. ‘But there is something I would like you to do for me, Letty. Will you help me in my mission?’
‘Of course,’ she says at once. ‘Anything, Beloved.’
‘Very well. I have been receiving messages from the Lamb – in fact, we are in constant contact. I’m speaking to him now, this very second. Do you know how that is possible?’
Letty shakes her head.
‘It is because the Lamb and I are one,’ he says softly. His white hair and side whiskers seem to glow in the murky light and his blue eyes glint. ‘You know this. Soon all shall know. Because of this, our wills are as one. And the Lamb has made it plain to me that I must augment my spiritual gifts.’
‘Really?’ Letty asks, wondering how the Beloved could possibly be more gifted than he is already.
He nods. ‘Yes. I must have a helpmeet.’
‘Oh. But . . . your wife . . . Sarah . . .’ ventures Letty.
‘Yes, of course. Sarah is a great help, but there are limitations on what she is able to do for me. I must have further assistance. And the Lamb has deemed that your sister, Arabella, is to be that person.’
Letty is confused. ‘I don’t understand. She already helps you, doesn’t she?’ They are all used to Arabella and the Beloved being constantly together.
‘That’s quite right, but, my dear child, there must be a stronger union between us. Do you understand? It is necessary for my great mission. Is it for us to question the will of the Lamb?’
‘No,’ Letty says sincerely. ‘Of course not.’
‘Then you will understand. But not all have your great sagacity and perception. Not all have your pure faith. And that is why the Lamb and I need your help. It must never be said that I wish this for myself. It must be clear that it is divinely ordained.’
‘I’m sorry, Beloved, I’m being very stupid. I still don’t understand . . .’
The Beloved smiles. ‘You will, my dear. I will explain exactly what needs to be done.’
That evening, during the Friday night service, Letty is in the front row, next to Arabella, waiting for her cue. They sing one of Maud’s more rousing hymns, with a bouncy military jauntiness that gets them all bobbing. When it is over, the Beloved begins to speak. This is what they all enjoy the most: the way he takes them with him on a journey towards absolute conviction mixed with a shaky excitement that leaves them flushed and breathless. The future he paints for them is so wonderful, so glorious, so brilliant that they can hardly wait to get there. But life until then is so marvellous too; the sense of happiness wells up and fills them all with the desire to praise and sing.
Letty watches the Beloved, waiting till he begins to crescendo. He takes off his black jacket – a signal that things are heating up – and stalks about, his white shirtsleeves billowing as he waves his arms and declaims, showing his fine figure as he marches here and there. When he cries out, ‘They shall hear me on the mountains! They shall hear me in the valleys!’ Letty jumps to her feet and shouts, ‘I have seen a vision! I have seen a holy vision!’
There are gasps and all eyes are on her, as the Beloved stops, and turns to face her, his eyes blazing.
‘What have you seen, sister?’ he demands.
‘A holy vision, a sacred union, a spiritual marriage!’ she cries.
‘Amen!’ shouts the Beloved. ‘This is what is ordained. We are enriched by our spiritual unions. Who do you see, sister?’
Letty turns and sweeps her gaze over the congregation, aflutter now with the anticipation of who shall be next to be married. There is apprehension too. The ladies have spoken among themselves of their anxiety at the possibility of being spiritually joined to one of the labourers and how difficult it would be to fulfil the Divine Will in that event. ‘I see as clear as day,’ she calls. ‘The Lamb has shown me what must be done. The bridegroom is . . .’ She swings back to face him. ‘It is you, Beloved!’
A shocked inhalation and a murmur of surprise. Eyes turn at once to Sarah, who goes very still but her expression does not change. The Beloved quietens the muttering with a gesture.
‘How can this be, sister, when I’m already married?’ he asks.
‘I cannot say, I can only tell you the will of the Lamb. He has shown me that you should be joined in the spirit to . . .’ – Letty points at Arabella beside her – ‘to my sister, Arabella! So that your gifts may be united to the great glory of us all.’
Arabella looks as though she might faint, her expression utterly bewildered. She turns to look at Sarah in the row across the aisle but the Beloved’s wife stares straight ahead, her face as white as marble. ‘I . . . I . . . don’t understand,’ says Arabella, stunned. She looks afraid, as though a pet tiger she has been taming has suddenly turned on her with a snarl and a desire to eat her.
‘We must listen to the will of the Lamb,’ the Beloved declares. ‘But I am not yet sure that this is meant. Let us all pray for guidance on this most vital, most extraordinary of matters. What we can know is that the Lamb asks not for fleshly union, but only spiritual. Amen. Amen.’
They murmur obediently in answer, and the service continues.
‘Did you really have that vision?’ demands Arabella, when they are alone in her bedroom. She has grabbed Letty’s arm, holding it with a fierce grip. ‘Did you really see those things?’
‘Yes. Of course,’ Letty says. What else can she say? She will not betray the Beloved, not even to Arabella.
‘I’m to marry him?’ Arabella asks wonderingly. ‘But Sarah . . .’
They look at each other, both unable to understand how it could be.
‘I suppose it doesn’t matter if it’s spiritual,’ Letty says slowly. ‘You’re lucky, Arabella, to be considered his helpmeet.’
‘Yes . . . yes, I suppose I am.’
On the Sunday, Letty stands up and cries out her vision again. She has seen a sacred wedding in the lily fields of heaven, where the souls of the Beloved and her sister were joined eternally and formed a gateway for the believers to enter. The Beloved seems more convinced but insists further prayers must be offered. In the next week, three other ladies stand up to report their visions of the Beloved wed to Arabella. On the Friday night, Sarah herself stands up and says:
‘My brothers and sisters, it is clear to me that it is the Divine Will that this should happen. Let it not be said that I would stand in the way of this. Husband, I demand you take this woman as your spiritual wife. I relinquish my hold over you and offer you to her, that she may accompany you on the next stage of this great journey.’
The Beloved bows his head and accepts the inevitable. He must put aside his old wife and take on the new. It is ordained and it must be.
Letty hears voices from the library as she passes, and realises that one of them is Mr Kendall and his voice is raised. She doesn’t mean to stop and listen, but she does.
‘. . . sir, that is why we are most concerned, most concerned.’
‘You’ve heard, as we all have, that this is not my will, but that of the Lamb,’ the Beloved replies smoothly. ‘You do under
stand that, don’t you?’
‘But sir, can this be anything other than bigamy?’
‘It’s a spiritual union, Kendall. Not a union of law or of flesh, but of pure, godly spirit. I can assure you of that. It is a holy marriage only. No laws will be broken, no bigamy committed, no corporeal . . . connection.’
When Kendall speaks again, he is quieter. ‘Very well. You reassure me. I see your point exactly. Precisely. And in truth, I support it wholeheartedly. But my wife is . . . she is nervous, sir. She thinks it’s possible that the Lamb may ordain a spiritual marriage for me, or for her, and she is unhappy at the thought.’
‘Of course. I understand. I will assure her that I see no such likelihood in any vision vouchsafed to me. Your gifts and hers are perfectly matched. There is no need for further union.’
‘She will be glad to hear that, sir.’
‘And I will ensure that the cottage is ready for your habitation directly. I believe that your spiritual needs require it. And it’s been too long for your boy to camp out in a female dressing room.’
‘Yes . . .’ Mr Kendall gives an anxious cough. ‘Sir, my son is not yet a committed member of our group. He is closing his heart to your words. We are afraid for him.’
‘I’ve sensed it. I’ve prayed for him, Kendall. I believe the Lamb has his scheme almost ready to reveal.’
‘Thank you. Thank you, sir. We don’t want to lose him—’
‘Letty?’ It’s Arabella, walking swiftly across the hall towards her. ‘Are you all right? What are you doing?’
Letty jumps, and moves away from the library door, hoping she doesn’t look guilty. Eavesdropping is a nasty habit. ‘Nothing, nothing.’ She shakes her head. ‘I’m going upstairs. Shall we go together?’
‘Yes. I want to talk to you about what I’m going to wear on Sunday.’ Arabella has accepted her path to the Beloved’s side. She has a new air of holiness, like a nun on the verge of taking her vows. Letty thinks she is happy. Certainly, she seems it.