“If he’s that wonderful, what could he possibly see in me?”
“He said,” Bunny said airily, “you tweaked his interest.”
“These things itch,” Abby said as she tugged and pulled at the long johns.
“That’s because they’re new. After a few washes they soften up. The makeup looks good, Abby.”
“You can still see it, though, can’t you?”
“A little.”
“Most times it doesn’t bother me. Sometimes I don’t even think about it until I catch someone staring at me. It’s bothering me today.”
“Get over it. It doesn’t bother me, and obviously it doesn’t bother Connor. The others are okay with it, too. You know something, Abby, no one has ever mentioned it to me. You’d think they would, us being roommates and all. I think that says a lot for our friends. It’s what’s inside that counts. So, are you ready? Why in the hell did we ever say we wanted to go sledding anyway?”
Abby shrugged. “It’s something you’re supposed to do when it snows. We used to go to the mountains in North Carolina to ski and stuff. I love snow. I think I love sunshine more, though.” She sat down on the edge of the bed to put her socks on. “You want to come home with me for Christmas, Bunny?”
“Are you kidding! I’d love to. My parents are going to my sister’s ranch in Oklahoma because she just had twins. With all those kids and animals they won’t miss me a bit. Are you sure it’s okay?”
“I’m positive.”
Bunny smiled, showing even white teeth. “Then I accept.”
“Great. You’ll be the first guest in my bedroom. Donovan got me twin beds in case I ever wanted to invite someone to spend the night. Someone of the female gender,” she qualified.
“I’m honored,” Bunny quipped.
“And well you should be.” Abby was pulling on her gloves by the window when she saw a red truck pull up in front of the dorm. “No one said we had to ride in the back of a pickup truck.”
“Just out of curiosity, Abby, how did you think we were going to get the sleds to the hill?” Bunny asked smugly.
“Pull them.”
“Five miles? We’d die in our tracks.”
“Oh.”
They ran out the front door, down the steps, to the street.
“Pile in,” someone yelled.
“Hi, Abby, how’s it going?” Connor asked as he helped her into the truck bed.
“Good, except this long underwear Bunny insisted I wear is so scratchy it’s driving me crazy.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’ll freeze up around the same time you do. Let’s roll, guys.”
Abby almost swooned. She was actually on a date with a guy. A guy who wasn’t put off by her birthmark, a guy she’d just told that she wore long underwear. Carol was so right. College life was absolutely wonderful. Better than wonderful. In a word, spectacular.
* * *
“God, this is heavenly,” Bunny said, cupping her hands around a huge mug of hot mulled cider. “The snow was perfect for sledding. I only fell off once.”
“I wish I could say that,” Abby said, laughing. “I was in the snow more than I was on the sled. This guy is one crazy driver,” she said, pointing to Connor. “Ooh. This awful underwear is driving me crazy.” My God, did she just say that? Obviously she did since everyone was laughing.
She felt good, better than good. Fantastic! It was fun to be a part of a group and even more fun to flirt.
“Hey, guys, guess what?” Bunny shouted, getting everyone’s attention. “Abby invited me to go to Charleston with her for Christmas. I’m going. What do you think of that?”
“I think you should invite all of us. We all,” Connor said, waving his arms, “live in places where we won’t see warm temperatures until spring.”
Abby held up her hands to stop him from going any further. “I don’t think my family would know what to do if you all showed up on their doorstep. You have to start out small and work up to a group. How about next year?”
“It’s a date, my dear.” Connor leered. Abby’s face flamed. She turned to the side, knowing her birthmark was going to stand out like a neon sign. Suddenly she felt her chin being cupped in one very large hand. “Don’t do that,” Connor said softly, for her ears alone.
Abby wanted to cry, to blurt out all her pain and misery. From somewhere deep inside her she dredged up some courage, and said, “It’s just that when I get embarrassed or excited, it gets really dark. People stare.”
“Nobody here is staring, Abby. You are who you are, and we accept it.”
“I’ll remember that.” Abby looked around and smiled. For the first time in her life she had real friends. Friends who accepted her for who she was, not what she looked like.
Bunny nudged her and hissed in her ear when Connor went to the bar for refills. “He likes you. I can tell.”
“How?” Abby hissed back.
“The way he looks at you, the way he cupped your chin in his hand. Boy, does he have big hands. I wonder if the rest of him is that big?”
Abby choked on the remaining cider in her cup. “Do you mean what I think you mean?”
Bunny’s face wore a wicked look. “Yeah,” she drawled.
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, drink up. It’s time to head home. Tomorrow we do the impossible, we score perfect grades on our finals.”
“Hear! Hear!” the group chorused.
Bunny and Abby were the first to be dropped off. Connor and a young man named Taylor walked them to the dorm door.
“I had a really good time, Connor. Thanks for inviting me and thanks for … that … you know, what you said in the Rathskeller.”
“No problem. Want to go to a movie on Saturday?”
“Sure.”
“Good. I’ll call you.”
CHAPTER FIVE
These were the times Abby liked best, all curled up and snug in her bed talking to Bunny about everything and nothing. Tonight, though, it wouldn’t be a nothing discussion; it was going to be a something discussion with her best friend.
A Connor Bradford discussion.
For the first time in her seventeen years, she felt that she belonged, felt she had true friends, friends who saw beyond the ugly mark on her face. Life was good, wonderful! She would have to remember to say an extra prayer before she went to sleep.
Bunny leaped into her narrow bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. “I had a great time tonight. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be warm again. Brrrr.” She reached up and turned out the light. “You know, we’re really lucky that Helen Foster took notice of us and invited us into her little circle. We’re the envy of the whole freshman class. We have to remember to do the same thing for some lowly freshmen when we become seniors.” She turned on her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “Listen, Abby, were you serious about me going home with you?”
“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t. But I won’t be coming back with you. I’m staying an extra week because of the surgery.” Abby plumped her pillow. “I gotta warn you, we won’t be doing much but hanging out with Aunt Carol and Uncle Donovan. They take some getting used to, but I think you’ll like them. Bobby, too. He’s a great little kid. If you can handle all the boring stuff, I’d love to have you come with me.”
Bunny chuckled. “Listen, my idea of a good time is reading a book and watching TV. So what does that tell you? Hey, I might even be able to help you after your surgery. Are you nervous?”
“Nervous?” Abby looked up at the ceiling and pulled a face. “I’m petrified. I’m not as hopeful as Donovan that it’s going to help.”
“Are you sure you want to go through with it?”
Abby hesitated. She’d been asking herself the same question. “Yes and no,” she said at length. “If you had a mark like this on your face, wouldn’t you try just about anything to make it go away, even if only a little bit? When I was younger, I used to pray for it to be gone when I woke up in the morning. It’s ugly. I hate it. On the
other hand, the laser could scar me and make it even worse.”
“It sounds too risky to me.”
“It is risky,” Abby said. “But I want to be normal, Bunny. Like you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend people aren’t staring at you? Little kids point at me. Guys look the other way when they see me. Girls snicker and whisper that they’re thankful it’s me and not them,” she said with a bite of resentment. “This is supposed to be the best time of my life. I’d like to blend in, fit in, but this … this birthmark of mine makes me an outcast.”
Bunny sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “That’s not true,” she protested. “Take tonight for example. Nobody made you feel like an outcast, and you know it. Nobody paid the least bit of attention to your birthmark. The medical makeup you wear makes it so it’s barely noticeable.”
“It wears off after a while.”
“So then you put some more on. Maybe you need to rethink the surgery, Abby. What if it does scar you and make it worse?”
“Then I have to live with it,” Abby said between her teeth. Her mind was made up, and she didn’t want to have second thoughts. “Listen, let’s talk about something else. What should I wear on Saturday?”
Bunny took the hint and jumped into the next subject. “Those spiffy boots with the stacked heels you bought, the glen plaid skirt, and navy blue sweater set. You can borrow my chunky earrings and the matching necklace.”
“I’m not wearing long underwear,” Abby said vehemently.
“Fine. Freeze then,” Bunny said, kicking out her foot and hitting Abby’s bed. “I like the idea that we’re double-dating. I still can’t believe that we got asked out by juniors.” Bunny’s face puckered up. “You know what they say about freshmen meat? We’re new, untried, unknown, and we want to fit in.”
Abby jerked upright. “You said Connor and Kyle weren’t like that. You said they liked us for who we were. Right?”
“They aren’t. And they do,” Bunny said, answering Abby’s questions in order. “We just have to be careful not to do anything to give them the impression we’re … you know … easy.”
Abby laughed out loud. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve never even been kissed by a guy.”
Bunny crawled back in bed and slid under the covers. “You’re seventeen and never been kissed? Now that’s one for the record book.” She hooted.
Abby felt like crawling off someplace to hide. Instead, she flopped down and drew the sheet up to her chin.
“Seriously, Abby,” Bunny continued, ignoring her embar-rassment, “college life is so different from high school. High school was, you know … a place that prepared us, kind of, for what we’re doing now. We don’t want to be part of that date-rape thing that happens on campuses all over the country. If and when a guy does kiss you, you need to be aware and keep your emotions under control.”
“You sound more and more like Aunt Carol, Bunny. I’m not going to hop into bed with the first guy who shows some interest in me. When I do that, it will be at the right time with the right guy. Do you think I’m going to be a pushover?”
“No, but I told you, most guys only think about one thing. Wouldn’t it be nice if we really hooked up?”
“Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves, Bunny? Sledding and a movie isn’t exactly going steady. First we need to have a really solid friendship and go on from there. We need to know what makes these guys tick. I do like Connor, though.”
“And I like Kyle. By the third year everyone is pretty much spoken for. In Kyle’s and Connor’s cases, I want to think it’s because they’re taking this education business seriously and don’t want to clutter up their lives with emotional baggage. Helen told me they both have goals and only allow so much time for R&R. I guess that’s a good thing. I’m not one of those needy females. Are you, Abby?”
“No. I’ve had to survive alone. Aside from family that is. Guess we were meant to find each other, huh, Bunny?”
“I think so. Let’s say good night, Abby. I have an eight o’clock final. I think I can ace it, but you never know. Put your laundry out, and I’ll do it with mine.” Bunny flopped over on her side and yawned loudly.
“I don’t want to think about dirty laundry,” Abby said as she snuggled down. “I want to think about walking through snow all bundled up with some guy holding my hand and telling me he can’t wait for the Christmas holidays to be over so he can see me again.”
“The guy—Is his name Connor Bradford?” Bunny asked. “Uh-huh.”
The kiss, when it came, was delicious and left Abby wanting more. She wanted to say something profound, but the words wouldn’t come. Connor wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. Shock flew through her when his cheek nuzzled hers. She wondered if he realized what he was doing, but after a moment, when he didn’t pull away, she figured he did and that he didn’t care about her birthmark.
Suddenly, the moon and stars seemed brighter, the air, crisper. Everything was right with the world, and she wished this moment would last forever.
“Still cold?” Connor asked. His warm breath frosted as it left his mouth.
“A little,” Abby managed, even as a shiver ran through her. “It’s sixty-five degrees in South Carolina,” she blurted inanely. Carol had told her that when she’d called to confirm travel arrangements.
“You need to bottle some of that warmth and bring it back with you. It’s cold in Oregon, too. Have you ever been there?”
“No, but I hear it rains a lot and that it’s very green. Are you going to go back there to work after you graduate?”
“Just to visit, not to live. My future is in New York City. As soon as I get a job, I’m going to go for my master’s. Kyle, too. We’ve got it all planned out. How about you? Are you going to go home to live and work?” Keeping his arm around her, he walked them toward her dorm.
“I’m not sure. Probably. My career goals aren’t quite as set as yours. I want to write, too. Mystery/suspense novels. I know it isn’t going to be easy to break into the business, so I thought I’d get two part-time jobs to support myself while I’m writing.”
“Two jobs? What kinds of jobs?” he asked.
“One in a library and one on a newspaper. Libraries have always been magical places for me. Growing up, I always had my nose in a book. I thought if I could get a night job in a library, it would help me get a handle on what people are reading and why. I could also research to my heart’s content. Then, as a freelance writer for a newspaper, I could hone my writing and editing skills. See? I’ve got it all planned out.” She laughed at herself, knowing how naive she must sound. “Thanks for the movie, Connor. I really enjoyed myself.”
He stopped and turned her around to face him. “Abby, is it true that you aren’t coming back with Bunny after the holiday break?”
“I’m coming back, but it won’t be till later. I’m having laser surgery on my face and … I’ll need the healing time. It’s not the kind of thing where you can go around with a Band-Aid.”
His brows knitted together in a frown of worry. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t know about it. Bunny talked to Kyle, and Kyle talked to me. We’re friends, so don’t be alarmed that we’re talking about you. I guess I want to know if you’re comfortable with the whole thing. Bunny said the laser could do more harm than good. I’m concerned.”
“I appreciate that, Connor. I’m concerned, too, but it’s a risk I have to take.”
Connor leaned toward her and cupped her face between his hands. “You’ve read up on it, and you know what you’re up against?”
Abby nodded. “I think I do.” She lowered her gaze and stared at his Adam’s apple. “Unless you’ve lived with something like this, it’s hard to understand. If this surgery will help even in a small way, it’ll be worth it. If it doesn’t work, if it makes it worse, I’ll have to learn to live with it. I want the chance to be like everyone else, Connor.”
“I guess I belong to the mentality of, if
it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He grabbed the edges of her coat collar and pulled her toward him. “I like you a lot, Abby. It bothers me that things might not work out for you.”
“I like you a lot, too.” She gazed into his eyes, a question nagging at her. “If the surgery makes my face worse, will you feel differently about me?”
He hesitated before answering. “I don’t know, Abby. I honest to God don’t know.”
A chill ran down Abby’s spine. For a moment she didn’t know what to say. “I appreciate your honesty, Connor. The surgery has been scheduled for months now. I have myself psyched for it. Even if it scars me, I’m not going to run and hide. One way or another, I’m coming back to school.” She swung around, grabbed his hand, and started walking. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“My plane leaves at seven in the morning. How about you?”
“Ten-thirty. I guess I won’t see you till the first of February.” They reached the steps of Abby’s dorm. “Have a wonderful Christmas, Connor.” She leaned into him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“You too, Abby,” he said with feeling. “Oh, I almost forgot. I bought you a present. It isn’t much, just a little something to make you remember how cold it is here so you can appreciate your Southern weather.”
Abby sucked in her breath. A present. How funny! She had one for him, too, in her pocket. “Oh, Connor,” she said, laughter bubbling in her throat as she turned the small globe upside down to see the snowflakes flutter to the top. “I love it! I have something for you, too. I shellacked it myself and printed the date on the back. It’s a sand dollar I found on Folly Beach. You hang it on your Christmas tree.”
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