“But—But—No!” she said, shaking her head. “I want our first time to—you know—be something to remember, to cherish. I’m not saying this wouldn’t be completely right. It’s just … I wasn’t expecting this … At least not right now. I don’t want a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of thing.” The words were no sooner out of her mouth than she wished she hadn’t said them.
Steve’s brows pulled together in a deep frown. “Thanks, Abby, but I—”
“Steve, I didn’t mean to insult you. What I meant was, I want our first time to be romantic. Come on now. Look at us. Here I am in my sweats and here you are in your lab coat, or whatever you call it. And it’s not even noon yet.”
“Okay,” he said, holding up his hand in surrender. “I get the message. You want me to romance you with flowers and wine and candlelight, right?”
“I’ll do the wine and candlelight,” she offered.
“Okay, then—”
“Now wait a minute,” she said, stalling him. “There’s something you should know first. I’m thinking of going for this new surgery,” she said. “It’s kind of experimental.”
“Yeah, and?”
Abby remembered the day she’d had a similar conversation with Connor. “There’s a possibility it could make the birthmark worse. If it does, will you still love me?”
“That’s a dumb-ass question if I ever heard one. I love you, your heart, your soul—all of you. That mark is not something I pay any special attention to. It’s just a part of you. I love the whole of you. Why are you making me say all this, dammit? Do you want me to list my sterling attributes?”
“It wouldn’t hurt,” Abby sniffed. Olivia nipped at her bare toes. She yelped as she jerked her foot away.
“Okay then. I’m not hard to look at. I like to cook. I’m well educated. I have a successful business. I pay my bills. I like kids. I have a kazillion dogs and cats. I like your sister and Bunny. I read your books and say nice things about them. Hell, I buy tons of your books and give them as gifts. And I’m willing to let you keep Connor’s picture on our mantel. That’s it. My big pitch. I’ll never get the guts to say all this again.”
“You’d really let me keep Connor’s picture on our mantel?” Abby asked.
“Sure. He was part of your life, Abby. I don’t have any claim to that time or to anyone in your life back then.”
Abby felt a warm glow spread through her. Suddenly her whole being seemed to be filled with wanting him, but still she resisted. “Tell you what,” she said, trying not to sound overly eager. “Go back to work and come back this evening about eight. I’ll light some candles, chill a bottle of really good wine, put on some romantic music, and heat up the Jacuzzi. What do you think?”
Steve closed his eyes and sighed. “All right,” he said. “I’ll wait until tonight.”
“Good. I’ll have everything ready and we’ll—You know.”
“Eight o’clock?”
Abby nodded, almost afraid to speak. As soon as he left, she let out a long breath and sat back down in front of her computer. If she worked at the speed of light, she should be able to finish what she was doing by midafternoon. Then she could spend the rest of the day preparing for tonight. What to wear? she wondered. More to the point, what not to wear? There was wine to chill. Snacks to make. A bedroom to clean up and sheets to change. She groaned at the thought of all she had to do and wondered if she wouldn’t have been better off just to let him take her right there on the desk. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to think about it all day long.
Hours later, just as she was about to step into the bathtub, the phone rang. She debated a moment before picking it up. She didn’t want to take a chance that anything or anyone would intrude on her happiness. “Hello,” she said brightly, her thoughts on Steve and the romantic evening they would share.
“Hello, Princess, how are you?”
Her spirits plummeted. “Uncle Donovan!” she gasped. “Hi. I’m good. How about you?” Abby made a face at Olivia, who was sitting on the floor staring at her intently. She could count on one hand the times she’d talked to Donovan since the night Carol had entered her house uninvited. She hadn’t spoken to Carol once, which was the way Carol had said she’d wanted it.
“Working round the clock,” he replied. “There aren’t enough hours in the day.”
“You need to slow down and smell the roses, Donovan. You aren’t forty anymore, you know. How is Carol? How does Bobby like his school?”
“Bobby loves that private school in New Jersey. He really wants to play hockey in college, and that school has one of the best programs in the East. I think it will be good for him. Carol was smothering him of late. As you know, Carol is busy as always. Sometimes I wonder how she does it all. You should call her once in a while, Abby.”
Abby leaned her hip against the counter. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but they were all tied to that night, so she couldn’t say anything at all. “Carol and I—we don’t see things the same way anymore, Uncle Donovan. You know that. She hasn’t exactly said so, but she’s made it clear that she’s upset that I brought dogs into her house. And I know she doesn’t approve of Mallory moving in with me. God, that’s a given! So you see—there’s really no point in calling her.”
She heard Donovan sigh. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just that I want everything to be the way it used to be. I want us to be a family again. I don’t even know for sure what happened, why we became estranged.” There was a short pause, then, “Listen, Abby, Carol called me here at work this morning and told me to turn on the TV. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Why is Mallory pretending to be you?”
“It’s about the way I look, my face,” she said. “My publisher wanted me to do a book tour, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I hired Mallory to be me.” Abby stiffened, a thought suddenly coming to her. What if Carol called the show to tell them they’d been duped? Neither she nor Mallory had considered that possibility.
“Oh,” he said. “I should have realized it was something like that.”
“In spite of our differences, I hope you and Carol will keep our little deception to yourselves. If my publisher found out—”
“Of course we will, honey. Don’t give it another thought.”
“I appreciate that, Donovan. Thank you.”
“About your new book,” he said, changing the subject. "Proof Positive. I know you, Abby, so I know you wouldn’t go snooping around in other people’s business. This book, it has to be Mallory’s idea. Right?”
“More or less, but …”
“I knew it!” he said. “I just knew it.”
“Okay, so it was originally her idea. I agreed and went along with it. Why do you care?” she asked, glancing down at Olivia.
“I care because you could be opening a huge can of worms. Have you considered the possible ramifications, Abby? What if …” She heard him mutter under his breath. “I know I’m going to regret saying this, but there are some things you can’t forget, some things you can’t put behind you. The things Mallory used to do … They were mean, hateful things, Abby. Once, when she didn’t get her way, she threatened to tell her teachers that I’d done bad things to her. Then another time when she got angry, she really did go to her teacher and told her that Carol drank a whole bottle of wine and we were rolling around on the floor naked and that we’d been swinging from the chandelier. We didn’t even have a goddamn chandelier.”
“Donovan, please, I don’t want …”
“No, let me finish,” he said, cutting her off. “I haven’t been around Mallory enough to know if she’s really changed, so I don’t know if I’m right or not. The doctors told me she had changed and was well adjusted. And she told me herself that she had changed. She apologized profusely. I wanted desperately to believe her. That young lady has the saddest eyes of anyone I’ve ever met. I think that’s what convinced me she had changed. But what if she fooled everyone? Or what if she reverted to the way she used to be? Wha
t I’m trying to say here, and not doing it very well, is that she could be setting you up for something. Don’t ask me what because I don’t know. But as to why … My guess would be revenge. Look at her life compared to yours. You had everything under the sun. She had nothing, not even our love. Maybe I’m way off base, and for your sake I hope to hell I am. All I ask is that you think about what I’ve said and be on guard. Just in case, okay?”
“I’m ashamed of you, Donovan,” Abby shrilled. “You sound just as mean and vindictive as Carol, and I’m sorry for you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have Mallory back in my life. She’s been nothing but a help to me. I don’t know why you and Carol want to tear us apart.”
A pregnant pause, then a heavy sigh hummed over the wire. “I’m happy for you, Princess. And believe it or not, I understand how you feel.” Abby heard him clear his throat. “Any nice young men in your life?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Nope.” She was so angry she didn’t want him to know about Steve. “I’m much too busy building my career to worry about men. Besides, I think I was meant to have just one love,” she added, hoping she sounded convincing.
“Don’t say that, Abby. The right man is out there. He just hasn’t found you yet.”
Abby forced a laugh. “I’m not all that hard to find.”
“Can we look forward to a visit from you anytime in the near future?”
There was a long silence. At length Abby said, “I’m really busy right now. But you know how that is, I’m sure. I’ll have to get back to you in a week or two.” She knew she sounded cold and heartless, but she was hurt. “Excuse me, Donovan. I’ve got to run. Take care of yourself.” She slammed the phone down on the base unit and walked into the bathroom. She wasn’t going to let his phone call ruin her happiness. Those days were long gone.
Abby lowered herself into the bathtub. She wished now that she hadn’t answered. Why hadn’t she let the answering machine pick it up? Donovan’s call had put a pall on the whole day.
How could he even think such awful things about Mallory? Because he didn’t know her, she told herself. He didn’t know her because he hadn’t taken the time to know her. Like Carol, he refused to let go of the past. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. Poor Mallory.
So much for not letting Donovan spoil her happiness. She leaned back and tried to think about the evening ahead. She smiled when she thought about Steve. She’d accused him of not being romantic, but he was. Coming to her in the middle of the morning, declaring his love and his need … that was so sweet and romantic. Cute, too.
In the beginning, she’d compared Steve to Connor and found Steve lacking. She couldn’t remember when Steve’s light started to outshine Connor’s. She only knew that the realization had frightened her. To admit that she’d fallen in love with Steve was to put her love for Connor behind her. A huge step. A final step. A step she hadn’t been sure she could make until that morning.
She climbed out of the tub, dried herself, and smoothed fragrant lotion all over her body. The mirror told her that where her body was concerned, she could be proud. Her measurements were model-perfect. She had high breasts, a flat stomach, and shapely legs.
The swishy, electric blue dress shot through with silver threads and gossamer straps just begged for a naked body underneath. One touch to the straps and it would slither to the floor. Sandalwood-scented candles of every size had been strategically placed around her bedroom. Their fragrance filled the air, and their flickering light cast shadows against the walls. She’d made up the bed with brand-new sheets made from Egyptian cotton with a four-hundred-thread count that made them feel like satin and down all at once. A bottle of fine wine sat in a silver bucket, and the Jacuzzi had been turned up and a fragrant scent poured in. By the time Steve arrived it would be just right.
“Be careful what you wish for, Steve,” she said, smiling at herself in the mirror. Olivia and Beemer stared up at her with keen interest. “Okay, guys, you’re consigned to the kitchen tonight. All night. I’ve put blankets down and water, so don’t try to tell me you’re being deprived.” As if in protest, Olivia threw her head back and howled. Beemer started barking, the noise obviously hurting his ears. Seconds later, Mickey, Harry, and the others came into the bedroom and joined in. Abby put her hands over her ears.
“One hour and counting,” Abby shouted above the din.
Olivia scurried out of the room, returning moments later dragging Abby’s old stuffed dog, Bailey.
Abby gasped at the sight of her old friend in Olivia’s mouth. Then she softened. “All right, you can play with him in the kitchen. But please don’t tear out the stuffing. I don’t think I could bear it.” Seeming to understand, Olivia turned and waddled out of the bedroom, her tail swishing proudly.
When the doorbell rang at quarter to eight, Abby almost jumped out of her skin. She hoped it wasn’t Mallory coming home from the book tour early. That was silly, Abby thought. Mallory wouldn’t bother to knock on the door. She had a key.
“Calm down,” she told herself. It had to be Steve. He was the only other person with a remote control for the front gate. She opened the door and stood back. “Steve! You’re early! Oh and, you’re all dressed up,” she said, gazing at him in awe. “You look … wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a sport coat before.”
Steve gave a low whistle. “And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a … What do you call that thing you’re wearing?”
“A dress!” Abby said brilliantly.
“Oh. Sure. Well, it’s beautiful and I especially like the way …” Steve tilted his head to the side. “You can see right through it! Yes sir, right through it.”
“Um-hmm. C’mon, Steve,” she said, grabbing his arm. “We’re acting like two teenagers here. We both need to relax and loosen up.”
“I’m loose, I’m loose,” he said tightly.
“Sure you are, and so am I. That’s why I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin. Let’s have some wine and sit out on the patio. We both need to … you know … get it together.”
“Wine’s good. Together is good. The whole thing sounds good,” he agreed.
Abby led him through the living room. “You don’t think that having sex will spoil our friendship, do you?”
“Look, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but I’m sure as hell going to be disappointed. I’ve been thinking about making love to you all day. I could hardly get any work done.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you, and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it, too. It’s just that it seems so … calculated. Almost businesslike. It should be natural, don’t you think?”
“A bottle of wine should do it. I don’t know about you, but I lose all my inhibitions after a couple of glasses.”
Candles lit the patio as well. Abby had even put a few floating candles in the pool.
“Let’s make a toast,” Steve said, filling two wineglasses. “To a future full of love and happiness and …” Simultaneously, he touched his glass to hers and kissed her.
“And what?” she murmured against his lips.
“I love you, Abby.”
“I love you, too, Steve. I don’t know why I waited so long to tell you or to show you. Because of Connor, I think.”
“I knew what you were going through, and I understood. Why do you think I’ve been so patient?”
Abby smiled, thinking about what she’d put him through. “Thank you for being so patient.”
“You’re worth waiting for. But don’t press your luck, lady. After tonight, I’m through with cold showers, understand?”
Abby sipped her wine. She didn’t know how long it would take Steve to lose his inhibitions, but she hoped it would be soon because she didn’t think she could wait very long. In fact, she didn’t think she could wait one more second.
She set her wineglass down on the table. “Will you excuse me a moment?” Before he could answer, she hurried into the house
, checked the ice bucket and the candles. Everything was ready.
Taking a deep breath, she went back outside. “Steve?” He turned around to see her standing in the doorway to the bedroom. “I umm … I … ” It was no use. She couldn’t think of any way of telling him she was ready other than to show him. Gulping down her fears, she flicked first one strap then the other off her shoulders. The dress floated to the floor and pooled around her feet.
“Christ, Abby!” Steve upended his glass and swallowed the contents in one gulp. He looked at her as if he were taking pictures of her, from head to toe, one inch at a time.
“Do you approve?” she finally managed to whisper.
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I had no idea you looked like … that. No idea,” he said again, staring at her breasts. “You’re beautiful, Abby. More beautiful than I ever imagined.” He set his glass down and walked toward her, his eyes never leaving her breasts.
Abby twined her arms around his neck. His cologne was subtle and sexy. The nearness of him sent her senses spinning. “As much as I like that you got all dressed up for me, I think you’re wearing entirely too many clothes.” She lowered her arms and worked the knot of his tie loose, then sent it sailing over his shoulder. The buttons of his shirt were next. She had run out of patience by the time she reached the last one and practically ripped the shirt off him.
“Steve,” she said, “if you don’t help me, I’m going to ruin your clothes.”
It was all the encouragement he needed. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. “We should have done this a long time ago,” he said, laying her down on the bed.
She watched as he removed the rest of his clothes and was more than a little surprised at what had been hidden underneath. Compared to Connor … there was no comparison to Connor, she thought. Connor had been twenty-three when he’d died … still a boy, not quite a seasoned man. Whereas Steve … Steve was over thirty, a mature man. His arms, shoulders, and stomach muscles were testimony to his lifting and carrying heavy animals.
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