I was dragged around to meet everyone in the family, who all fawned over me like I was the newest thing since chocolate. I had more fun than I could’ve imagined and promised Ivy, Max’s mother, I’d call her to do lunch in the near future. I hadn’t figured out how I’d explain to her I didn’t have a car to drive the forty-five minutes to meet her, or ever tell her where I lived, but I figured that was a conversation for another day.
“You ready to go?” Max put his arm around me in a group of his family members. They all followed his hand with their eyes as it snaked around my waist. I wondered if they thought he was going to strip me down in front of them and make love to me on a picnic table.
“Whenever you are.”
“I need to get back, and Jase is expecting us for dinner.” The way he said it implied his friend was anticipating us as a couple, not me to gather my children, but I didn’t out him.
I hugged his mom and promised her we’d get together soon. Max held my hand to the car, and then opened the door for me. When I climbed in, I realized they were all standing there, gawking at our departure, so I waved as we pulled off.
~~~
I scowled at all the little red bodies bee bopping toward me as I stood outside talking to Miss Pearl. I had hoped the fresh air would do her good. After I got home, I’d gone to her apartment to check on her; she was having quite the coughing fit. But standing here, watching my children run toward me totally sunburned, had me upset. Emmy didn’t need sun poisoning on top of coinfections.
“Eww, Jase is in trouble,” Trace sang out. Jase took up the rear of the group and was equally as burned as the kids were.
“I’m not in trouble.” He glared at Trace, and I had to hold back a laugh.
“Then you don’t know my mommy very well.” He pointed to my face. “That look right there is mad.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “I forgot sunscreen.”
“I see that.”
Emmy started rattling off the stuff they’d done all day, and the word nap never crossed her lips. Trace and Megan interrupted her a hundred times to share things they loved, and even though I couldn’t decipher most of what they told me, I knew they had fun. Derrick clutched Jase’s hand tightly and stared up at him in what I could only assume was wonder.
“Hey, Pearl.” He looked at my favorite neighbor. “Do you mind if Derrick comes to dinner with us? We’re just gonna get pizza, but I’d love for him to go.”
As she started to speak, she began to cough, uncontrollably. When she finally regained her composure, she said that would be great. The kids all changed clothes, and I pulled the girls’ hair up in ponytails and out the door we went.
It was weird acting like a family, and we were a miss-matched group, but it felt normal. Honestly, it felt amazing. There had only been a handful of times I’d ever been able to take them out like this, and I’d always worried about spending the money—today that didn’t exist. I had cash in my pocket, a man I loved by my side—even if he didn’t love me—and my children. Derrick spent so much time with my children and me too, he felt like one of my own. He’d apparently bonded with Jase today as well—they were inseparable, and it made my heart soar.
When the kids ran off to play video games, Jase finally got around to asking me about my day. I think he’d avoided it knowing it opened up the door for me to ask about his and the sunscreen, which I decided to drop and just appreciate that he spent the day with the kids.
“How’d things go with Max’s family?”
“You’re an ass. You knew his family knew he was gay. You also knew he wouldn’t lay a hand on me for that same reason. Jackass.” My tone was playful, but I could’ve slapped him for not telling me up front.
“Whoa—language. There’re kids around, and you never cuss.” He smiled, but all I could do was roll my eyes. “Did you have fun?”
“I love his mom, Jase. Adore her. Wish she were mine.” I thought about her momentarily before I continued. “She wants to get together sometime, but I don’t know how I could ever do that.” Thinking about how my circumstances affected my life upset me. I tried not to dwell on it, but it sucked at times like this.
“Why not?”
I cocked my head and gave him an expression that silently asked him if he was kidding. “What am I going to do? Invite Ivy Roster to the projects for tea?” My eyes glazed over with tears.
His hand engulfed mine as he came around the table. Overcome with emotion, I leaned into his shoulder and cried quietly. The bustle of kids around me became muted in the safety of his embrace. Everything about that spot was perfect, as though it had been made specifically for me. He spoke into my ear, low enough so no one around us could hear. “Baby, don’t cry. If you want to hang out with Ivy, we’ll make it happen.” He held my head to his chest and stroked my hair.
It wasn’t so much about Ivy as my life as a whole. I’d worked too hard to be right back where I’d started, only with three kids in tow this time—one of whom didn’t deserve the pain that could crash into her life without warning. Life had been a cruel bitch, and I couldn’t take another sucker punch. He didn’t say anything else, and when I finished blubbering, I wiped my face with a paper napkin. The kids came begging for more money, and Jase offered them a handful of ones so they could keep playing. We chatted while they played, but when Emmy came and climbed in his lap and promptly fell asleep, I gathered the other three little munchkins to take them home.
Jase stuck around to help me get the kids in bed. We put all four of them in my room, checked in with Miss Pearl, whose cough seemed worse than earlier, and came back to the apartment.
“Make sure you lock the doors, Gia.”
“Yes, dear.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. It was like talking to a dad, not my dad, but I imagined this was what normal people felt with their parents.
He cupped my jaw with his hand and stared into my eyes. Brushing his thumb across my cheek in an entirely too intimate manner, he said, “You’re going to get out of here. I promise.”
I knew what he was referring to. I just wished I had the confidence in me that he did. I wish I had the Magic Eight Ball he was getting his predictions from, because I didn’t see much of an end in sight.
With his hand still on my face, he leaned in and kissed my forehead. My eyes closed, and his lips lingered on my skin. When he finally pulled away, he whispered, “Goodnight, Gia.”
And I responded, with my eyes still closed, “Night, Jase.”
Chapter Seven
Miss Pearl never said anything about the money I’d been leaving her. I’d wait for a day or two after an outing with one of the guys and then find a way to place it on her nightstand or in her kitchen drawer, locations I knew she’d see daily. I didn’t need her to acknowledge she got it—I only needed to know that I had left it. What she did with it was up to her, but I was almost positive she just spent it feeding us. I wasn’t rolling in money by any means, but after the first couple of dates with Jase’s friends, I managed to catch up and hovered somewhere around breakeven. After I had taken care of the kids, I left Miss Pearl the vast majority of what was left, even though I should’ve been trying to make a dent in the outstanding medical bills.
I’d been on a couple of outings with Holland and the one with Drake and Max, but at the end of the day, I was still lying down in the same bed in the same housing project on the same side of the tracks. If I wanted out of these circumstances, I’d have to up my game. I needed a car, I had to move, and I desperately wanted a permanent fix to Emmy’s needs. The only way for that to be a viable option was to have a better job with more stable income. I checked the job postings in HR daily—the company posted internally before they hired from outside, so I figured I had a better shot there than trying something new. When I saw the opening in Marketing, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. My degree and my Madison Avenue experience were tethered to advertising. I submitted my paperwork to apply internally and waited.
When I found out the job had be
en given to someone else without so much as an interview, I was furious. I’d had my heart set on the job, but if I didn’t get it fair and square, fine. Although, I thought they would at least interview everyone who applied. I didn’t want to ask Jase about it and never mentioned to him I’d applied for it—I wanted the job on my merit, not his name. So, after lunch, I went to my manager’s office to ask about the process for internal promotions. I knocked on his door that was wide open, and as usual, he had his feet propped on the desk and was doing something on his cell phone.
“Hey, Dale?”
He glanced up at me but didn’t bother giving me his attention when he returned his eyes to the screen. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if you could tell me how the internal job application process works?”
He continued moving his thumbs on the screen while he answered me in as few words as possible. “You apply. They interview. They pick someone.” I could tell by his tone he wasn’t interested in explaining anything, but I didn’t care.
“Do they interview everyone that applies?”
“Uh, maybe, I don’t know. You’d have to ask HR.”
“Thanks.” He held up his hand briefly to wave me off, and I turned around.
I wasn’t normally a very brazen person, but that job should have been mine. Had I been interviewed for it, I would’ve nailed it, and I was pissed I didn’t get the chance to audition for the part. I set off in search of the hag in the HR department to find out why I’d been overlooked, but when she was at lunch, Ben offered to help me instead.
Ben.
I didn’t like his name or the way it sounded when I said it.
“Ben, I was wondering if you could tell me the process for internal promotions.”
In ten times as many words, he reiterated what Dale had told me.
“So everyone who applied should’ve been interviewed?” I pursed my lips and tried to remain calm.
“Of course. That’s the respectful thing to do for employees.”
I held my tongue. I wanted to lash out, but I didn’t have any real answers yet. “Do you know why I wouldn’t have been interviewed?”
“Have you been here longer than six months?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t know. What’s your name?” He sounded apologetic as he searched through folders on his desk, although I had no clue what he was looking for.
“Gianna LeBron.”
His hands halted mid push. “I’m sorry, LeBron, you said?”
“Yes.”
He slowly raised his head to make eye contact with me. “As in Jase Lane’s, Gianna LeBron?”
My hip jutted out, and my hand landed promptly on my side. “Seriously?”
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m just looking at the notes on why an interview wasn’t scheduled and am so glad it’s not my head that’s going to roll.”
“What?”
“Your manager said he needed you in the department and asked that you be passed over for this position.”
My hands fell to my side, and my body straightened. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I’m a mail clerk. When I applied for this job there were ten other people waiting in line for it that could’ve been trained in less than ten minutes. How does he get to make that determination?” I’d gone from furious to totally confused and on the verge of tears. “I’m a single mom with three kids. Why did he get to make that call?”
The awkward redhead shrugged his shoulders. “Please don’t be upset with me. I didn’t have anything to do with it.” Ben was scared. Whatever he’d heard about my relationship with Jase led him to believe I had the power to make his life miserable.
As tears pricked the backs of my eyes, and I fought to keep them at bay, I wondered how selfish Dale truly was. He had a cushy job where he sat on his ass and let his employees run all over the place. When one had an opportunity to do something better, he squashed it because he was too lazy to train someone new. “Thanks, Ben. I appreciate your help.”
Ben called out to me as I walked away. “Please tell Mr. Lane I didn’t schedule the interviews.”
I was defeated. My relationship with Jase would either benefit or hurt me. I had tried to keep from using it to my advantage—I wanted to earn a spot here—but my boss prevented me from doing this legitimately. War waged in my mind—part of me wanted to confront Dale, and the other wanted to complain to Jase. I opted for Dale, knowing Jase would find out and then the chips would fall where they may.
What I hadn’t planned on when I stomped back down to the mailroom, my shoes clicking on the hard floors, was Ben going to find Jase to save his own tail. Dale sat in the same position he’d been in when I left, still on his phone. I didn’t knock. I just stood in his door and tapped my foot. Loudly.
He glanced up, obviously irritated I was interrupting him again. “Yes, Gianna, what now?”
“Did you get a request for me to interview with the Marketing Department?” I ground out the words through clenched teeth. He apparently didn’t hear my irritation over the machines running the mail, or maybe he just didn’t care.
“Uh, yeah. I told them now wasn’t a good time.” He didn’t bother showing me the respect of meeting my eyes.
“Why would you do that?”
“You’re good here. Pretty thing like you has no business upstairs.”
“Excuse me?” the voice behind me boomed. When I glanced over my shoulder, I noticed the anger had turned his steely-gray eyes almost black. I’d never seen Jase upset much less livid. He turned to me, his jaw firm, the muscles twitching as he tempered his tone enough to speak. “Gia, go wait in my office.” He didn’t wait for my response before stepping into Dale’s office and closing the door.
I wanted to stay and listen but was afraid of the repercussions of still standing in this spot when Jase opened that door back up. I scurried along, but not before I heard him roar at the man in the chair.
As I took the first step off the elevator, I realized the receptionist would stop me in the lobby, but to my surprise, she buzzed me through without so much as a peep. I turned to stare at her behind me, but the door closed, and I couldn’t see her through the frosted glass. I meandered my way back to Jase’s office to find Allison waiting on me.
She appeared sympathetic, and I wondered what Ben had told them. “Hey,” I said and plopped down in the chair outside his office.
“Bad day?” Her face scrunched up in a cute little mess of wrinkles. I hated that she had to be so flipping nice. I wanted to dislike her, but there was nothing to dislike.
“I just don’t understand people. Why would anyone prevent someone from trying to do better for themselves?” I assumed she knew what I was talking about since she knew I’d had a bad day. I guessed she’d heard whatever Ben had told Jase.
“I understand completely. I’m a single mom, too. I’d be lost without Jase.”
My brow furrowed.
“Oh, gah, I’m sorry. I just meant I can only imagine trying to make ends meet with three kids. They’re awesome by the way.”
I cocked my head at her, still wondering what the comment about Jase meant.
“My little boy had a blast playing at the water park with your kids. His name’s Eric.”
I had assumed Eric was one of the lifeguards, but apparently not. A lot is lost in translation from kids aged three and four.
“Jase has been a huge help. Pulling me up here to make sure I was making decent money, doing things like the water park—all those little things you can’t buy at any other company. He really cares about his employees.” Allison spoke well of her boss—too well.
Holy hell. Seriously. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t sit here and listen to Jase’s assistant tell me she had the same relationship with Jase that I did, and that he’d been her knight in shining armor. He’d plucked her from somewhere else in the building to make her his assistant.
“Oh, I didn’t know. Where were you before you were his assistan
t?”
“I started in the mailroom. Working for the same jackass you’re dealing with now. I don’t know how you’ve stayed as long as you have. Dale’s a jerk.”
My mind raced, and my heart sank. I wondered if he’d had a similar arrangement with her as he’d had with me. I wondered if his friends paid her to go out with them, or maybe that was why Jase never took me anywhere. Maybe he pushed me off on them to make room for Allison. The idea my children had been around him, I’d trusted him—the written agreement—he was so casual about all of it. He was casual because he’d done it before, and probably more than once. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest if I didn’t get out of there.
“I need to go.” I didn’t wait for her response. I took the stairs, knowing Jase would take the elevator, and waited in the stairwell to see him go up before racing back into the mailroom to grab my purse and tell Nancy I’d see her tomorrow.
“Sugar, you okay? Your friend didn’t go too easy on Dale. You didn’t get any backlash did you?” Nancy meant well, but I couldn’t talk. I shook my head and gave her a weak wave. She grabbed me suddenly, pulled me into a big mama bear hug, and then let me leave.
~~~
The moment I was out of the building, my phone started to blow up with calls and text messages, but I wasn’t interested in talking to Jase. I couldn’t handle being another notch in his life—I didn’t want to be anyone’s project. The red numbers stacked up on the apps—missed calls, unread texts, voicemails. My head was spinning. It was only two o’clock in the afternoon, and I found myself dialing Holland’s number.
“Hey, girl. What are you up to?” His voice was way too chipper.
“Are you near downtown?” My voice cracked, and I almost started sobbing. Deep breaths in and out. Over and over.
“Of course. What’s wrong?” Chipper turned to concerned.
“Can you meet me at Zags? Please? I know it’s the middle of the day, but I just need some company.”
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