His mouth fell open, and he stared at me with a dumbfounded expression. “Is there any chance it is?”
I stared at the floor and bit my lip. I hadn’t told him because I’d hoped I would never have to. “No. I took the morning after pill at the hospital. There’s no possibility. But Jase, I don’t want to defend paternity for nine months.”
I continued to pick at my fingers, waiting for his response. I had no idea if Holland had used protection or if that night resulted in pregnancy, but I couldn’t feed another mouth. I didn’t have it in me to raise a child conceived that way if it had happened, so I eliminated the possibility. I knew he’d be disappointed, but I’d made the best decision I could at the time.
I saw his feet in front of me before he spoke, but I couldn’t lift my eyes for him to see my shame. His fingertips touched my chin, tilting it up so he could see me.
“I’m so incredibly sorry, Gia. I wish I’d known.” The pain in his voice told me he saw this as his fault. He believed he had put me in harm’s way introducing me to Holland to begin with, and all this had been the aftershock of that poor decision.
“Honestly, Jase, I haven’t allowed myself to think about it or even process it. I don’t remember anything about that night, nothing. But you needed to know, I am one hundred percent certain, this baby is yours. I have no desire to share how I know that with a world of onlookers.”
“Let’s go call Hart and see what his thoughts are. If this is what you want to do, I’ll support it, but I think you should follow through. We know the truth, and no one else matters.”
“Your job matters. Your family matters. Jase, I don’t want to drag anyone through the mud or the turmoil. I’ve been on that end, and it’s horrible as an innocent bystander. I want your family to embrace us, our kids. I’ve never had that, and it means so much to me for my children to experience it. The closest they’d gotten was Miss Pearl, and she was taken far too soon.”
“Okay. I’ll call him.”
I didn’t listen to the call. Hearing everything I’d just told Jase repeated to Hart didn’t appeal to me. It was hard enough listening to the words from my own mouth, but hearing my husband repeat it wasn’t something I could stomach. It also meant we no longer shared the secret of the pregnancy between the two of us. Once Hart knew, the little private connection disappeared, so I held onto it as long as I could.
He came back into the room once he got off the phone. I turned the television down so I could hear what he had to say, but I could tell by the color of his eyes he didn’t have news I wanted to hear.
“If you drop the charges, the state will pick them up. Like it or not, Holland is going to face the judge for what he did to you. Hart said the best you can do is ask the prosecutor for leniency, but he recommends we stay out of it and only do what is asked of us.”
My head fell into my hands as I thought about how I had ruined another man’s life. Rationally, I knew he’d made his own decision. He chose the path he took that night. Holland had planned out the entire evening. But as the victim, I was absorbing the blame because I should never have been there to begin with. I should have found another way than acting as an escort to a bunch of CEOs. I was lucky the headlines in the papers didn’t read, “CEO Hooker Pressing Charges,” with a split shot of Holland and me.
I cried as I mourned the loss of Jase’s best friend, what he’d done to the group, the trouble it had all caused. My husband rubbed my back as I let all the emotion out. Every bit of weight I’d been carrying, hoping I’d manage to escape unscathed, was culminated in those tears. I had to release it—let it go. I vowed to myself this was the last time I would cry over any of this. I was done with it. What happened from here on out was not in my control, and I wouldn’t take responsibility for it.
When I shed the last tear, I stood, walked to the bathroom, and splashed cool water on my face. I emerged feeling drained but better. “Let’s take the kids to the park. I need some sunshine.” We all needed to get out of this house and out of our heads. The kids needed to play and enjoy the beautiful weather, and I wanted to hold my husband’s hand in the park as we walked around, watching them.
~~~
The day before we planned to meet Jase’s parents, our family unit became official. We’d all gotten up early—the kids were more excited than Jase was if that was possible. They’d all gotten new outfits to wear to court and couldn’t wait to get to meet a real judge.
I missed that kind of awestruck wonder the world holds at their age. I loved seeing it on their faces. They couldn’t sit still and drove us both bonkers waiting for the time to come to get in the car. Emmy was by far the worst. She had refused to let Jase out of her sight because she was afraid he might miss it. I tried to reassure her Jase wouldn’t miss the court date. I wouldn’t let him, but she wasn’t convinced I had the power to persuade him.
“Daddy, is it time yet?”
“No, sweetheart. We have another thirty minutes before we need to leave.”
“How long is that?” She had to crane her neck to look up at his face from her height. Her long blond curls waved behind her back as she talked to him.
“One episode of Dora.” He’d hoped to encourage her to watch one so she would know that when it was over, it would be time to go, but she didn’t take the bait.
Instead, she sent her brothers and sister off to watch an episode and report back to her when it was over so she could make sure Daddy was ready to go. He gave up trying to get any peace and finally picked her up and just carried her with him around the house until they landed at the kitchen table.
I thought I’d go crazy if she said his name one more time. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. I was so excited when she learned to talk, and now I wished she had a muzzle.
“Emmy, baby. Get a sweater, and we’ll just go early. Tell your brothers and sister it’s time to leave.”
She flew out of Jase’s lap and up the stairs to find her siblings. I could hear her screaming it was time to go, and she wasn’t waiting on them. They all came back down together. They looked beautiful, and I couldn’t wait to get a picture of all six of us after the hearing.
I sat in nervous anticipation when we reached the courthouse. Hart assured us this would be fast; the judge might ask us a couple of questions, but primarily he would talk to the kids. It was a formality, and he’d never seen one denied, but it ate at me until I was chewing on my fingers.
Jase kept pulling my hand from my mouth and putting it back in my lap, but thirty seconds later, I was back to gnawing on one.
“Gia, baby, quit. You’re going to freak the kids out,” he whispered with a chuckle.
Before I could respond, our name was called over the speaker, and we followed Hart to the courtroom. The kids ran in like a herd of wild elephants, but it didn’t seem to faze the judge. He smiled brightly at them and spoke to each of them. As they clamored around his courtroom, he watched with curiosity. Once everyone was inside, Jase wrangled them all to come sit down, and the hearing started.
Hart was right. We were in and out in a few minutes. The judge commented on how well adjusted and happy all the children were, and he wished there were more young men like Jase taking roles of missing fathers. Jase was amazing with them—all of them. He loved them as though they all bore his DNA and not just his last name.
We took several pictures, one with everyone in the courtroom including the stenographer, the bailiff, the judge, and Hart. I couldn’t wait to see how they all turned out and couldn’t help but think this must be the rewarding part of the judge’s job. I could have been fooled, but he seemed genuinely excited to be able to grant all of us what we desperately wanted—full custody of Derrick and the Lane family name.
With our unit complete, until the baby came, the last piece to our puzzle was Jase’s family situation. That portion would come tomorrow, and while I wasn’t sure everything would be resolved in a day, I was sure we were on the right path.
Chapter Seventeen
Saturday mornin
g, we lazed around the house making pancakes for breakfast and hanging out in Jase’s cave watching cartoons with the kids. I glanced around at each of them sprawled out in a chair or on the floor, Emmy in Jase’s lap, and wondered how we’d come so far in such a short period of time. I grinned at my little blonde beauty, wondering how she was going to take the news of a baby and whether she’d ever be able to share her daddy with anyone else.
We hadn’t told the kids about the baby yet but decided they should know before anyone else did, including Jase’s parents. He looked over his shoulder, through Emmy’s golden tresses before he plucked her from his lap and set her down in front of him. With the remote in hand, I turned off the television and got resounding objections from all four kids.
“Whatchu doin’, G?” Derrick still had a hard time calling me Mom, so I didn’t push. Every time he said G, I died laughing at his little southern drawl and tiny five-year-old voice with an enormous personality.
“Your mom and I wanted to talk to you guys about something.” Jase tried so hard to treat them like little adults. It was endearing, even if it wasn’t the way I would go about it. I loved that he tried so hard, and they respected him because he treated them well.
But apparently, that’s where Jase’s prepared speech ended. When he turned to me, I dropped the little adult routine. “Mommy and Jase are having a baby! You guys are going to be big brothers and sisters.” I cooed my voice the way that makes my children happy, and I got the reactions I expected from each of them.
Derrick and Trace looked at the two of us like we were crazy, scrunching up their noses and making silly sounds. “Eww. No way. We don’t want a baby.” One had echoed the other before they started talking about poopy diapers and baby throw up. Megan was thrilled to have a baby to play with, and Emmy pouted.
“Emmy, what’s wrong?” I asked her, trying to hold back my laughter.
“I’m the baby.” She crossed her arms over her chest in a huff.
“There can be more than one. It won’t change how much we love you or the new baby.”
Jase ruffled her hair and poked her in the side until she cracked a smile and began to giggle. She’d have a hard time with it, but the others would be fine. We tried to continue the conversation, but none of them were interested in talking. They all wanted to meet Jase’s parents.
I had no idea what he’d said to the kids to get them amped up about meeting them, but they’d been as excited about this as they were about the adoption and changing their names. Personally, I was overwhelmed by the idea of it. What had started out as just being with Jase’s parents somehow morphed into extended family including aunts, uncles, cousins, his grandparents, and Jase’s friends we hadn’t seen in quite some time. Normally, I would have found comfort in Max, Willum, and Drake being there, but things were so different since we’d last seen them. I had no idea how any of this would go, and frankly, I was terrified.
“Relax, love. You’ll have a great time. I promise.” I grimaced at him but didn’t respond. “Plus, they’re good at masking their feelings so you’d never know if they hated you anyhow.” He followed that snarky comment up with a wink and slap to my behind. I knew he was kidding, but somehow, now I wondered if I’d ever know how they truly felt or if it’d all just be a show they put on.
When we finally pulled up in front of his parents’ house, I would have fallen over had the seatbelt not been holding me in my seat. I’d never seen a house this large—and Ryan came from big money. There were tons of cars parked in the driveway and along the street. “Are we late?” My brow furrowed, worried I’d already made a bad impression.
“No, Gia. Calm down. We’re right on time.”
Stepping out of the car, I helped the kids down from the back seat and got Emmy out of her car seat. We could hear the music coming from behind the house and smell the food. There was chatter from what sounded like a ton of people, but the backyard was completely hidden by the monstrous house.
The kids all took off running toward the front door. Jase took my hand but stopped me from moving. “I love you, baby. Don’t worry about anything. My family is going to welcome you and the kids right in.”
“Let’s hope you’re right.” I leaned up to seal my lips to his. “I love you. So much.”
The moment we walked in the front door, I was assaulted by sounds, lights, smells. Everywhere I turned, there were people who all knew Jase, and my kids instantly became shy and huddled around our legs. Emmy practically crawled up Jase’s leg to sit on his hip opposite me. The twins held hands but didn’t move. Derrick backed up against me, and I secured him to me with my free hand on his chest. He was a tiny speck of dark in a vast sea of white. I could feel his heartbeat against my fingers, and it was racing. The comfort of our little world had just fallen apart.
As people came up to introduce themselves and try to shake Jase’s hand or hug him, they were met with resistant children who wouldn’t get out of arm’s reach of either of us. A beautiful older woman appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She didn’t address Jase or me; she instantly squatted to meet the kids on their level.
She turned her attention to Derrick first. “You must be Derrick Lane. I’ve heard so much about you. It’s very nice to meet you.” She held out her hand for him to shake. He looked to me for confirmation she was safe, and I gave him a little nod, a wink, and smile. His little hand was lost in hers. “These must be your brother and sisters? Am I right?” Derrick eagerly nodded. “Wait, don’t tell me. This dashing beauty is…Megan, and this other fellow must be her twin, Trace.”
“Trace is my best friend, but we let Megan play, too.” Derrick was proud of himself for including a yucky girl, but even more than that, he loved Trace fiercely. They were tight.
The woman giggled and said, “That’s very nice of you. I bet Megan appreciates that.” When she stood up, she came eye to eye with Jase’s baby—Emmy, who buried her face in her daddy’s neck. “And you. You must be Emmy Lane. That name’s as pretty as a flower.” I had no idea who she was, but if she talked to me the same way, I’d want to be her friend.
Emmy finally looked up at the smiling, silver-haired woman. “You have my daddy’s eyes.” The moment I caught a glimpse of them, she was right. This was Jase’s mother.
“Oh no, love. I don’t have your daddy’s eyes…he has mine. I’m his mommy. You can call me Penelope.” She glanced at me with a tender smile and regarded Jase in the same manner before going back to the children. “I have a big surprise for all of you. Do you want to come with me and see what it is?” Emmy couldn’t get out of Jase’s arms fast enough. Somehow, in that ten-second exchange, she’d decided this woman was safe, likely because of her connection to Jase. Without looking back, they all disappeared through the house with her.
“Where did they go?” I asked Jase, although not worried.
“No clue what she has up her sleeve, but she loves a party, and even more than a party, she loves to entertain children. My guess is if we were to step out back, we’d find her version of a circus.”
Sure enough. There were bouncy houses, rides, a huge pool; you name it, and it was sitting in their backyard with kids playing on it.
“Whose kids are all of these?”
“My cousins. I’m the last one to get married and start a family.” He put his arm around me as we watched Emmy take Penelope’s hand and follow her to the carousel. The other kids had already gotten on. Jase’s mom lingered for a while before setting the kids off with a group of others who looked to be about their age and pointed up to us standing on the patio. I waved so they’d know where I was, and then she started walking toward my husband and me.
His mother reached us in no time. She didn’t wait for introductions or even say hello to her son before she pulled me into her arms and squeezed me tight enough to cut off circulation. “I’m so glad you found my boy,” she whispered into my ear. I was already in love with her. She pushed me back to get a good look at me, keeping her hands on my shoulders. Her eyes
drifted from my face to my belly and backed up. “Do twins run in your family, doll?”
“Mom, don’t do that. Gia’s been here all of thirty minutes. You’re going to freak her out.”
I looked between the two of them, waiting for someone to fill me in. “Hello?” I finally croaked.
“Jase, it’s just very odd for a woman to carry two sets of twins. It has to run in her family is all I’m saying.”
I finally understood what she was saying. I snickered. I didn’t want to be rude. “No, ma’am. To my knowledge, Megan and Trace are the only set of twins in the family history on either side.” The truth was that was an assumption. I didn’t know squat about my family tree.
“Well, dear, get ready. You have two more on the way, and they’re both boys.” Her eyes crinkled when she smiled, and the sun danced on her gray orbs.
It dawned on me we hadn’t told her I was pregnant. At least not to my knowledge. Turning to Jase, I was miffed. “When did you tell your mom we were expecting?”
She patted my arm. “Oh, baby. He didn’t tell me. It’s written all over your face, and it’s in your aura. You just confirmed it.”
“Mom, obviously we have no idea what we’re having. She hasn’t been for an ultrasound yet, but please don’t wish twins on her. Especially boys.”
“I’m not wishing anything, and you know it. But let’s not dwell on that. I bet you’re over the moon, son.”
Luckily, we were saved from more baby conversation by Jase’s tribe of friends…minus one. Oddly, there was nothing awkward about being in their company. We didn’t dwell on what had happened. I could see the shock on their faces when Emmy came running up to Jase, crying, “Daddy, it hurts!”
“Let me see, sweetheart.” He squatted down to examine her boo boo, and she sat on his thigh and pointed to her knee. She’d scraped it enough for it to bead with blood, but mostly, she just wanted his attention. He picked his little girl up and took her into the house to clean up the wound and put a Band-Aid on it.
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