Chapter 4
When I arrived home, Tim sat at the desk, his face buried in his laptop. As I came closer to him I could see that he was studying; quite a change from playing computer games.
He turned to face me. “Where the fuck have you been?” he spat out of the blue.
“At the library, studying.” I said angrily, “Don’t talk to me like that Tim.”
“You’ve been out every night at that library,” he seethed. “My friend Rachel said she saw you drive off in some guy’s car the night before!”
“I went to get coffee!” I replied in my defense. I couldn’t believe we were going to have an argument again.
“There’s coffee machine at the library!” Tim barked.
“Have you tasted that coffee, Tim?” I begin to lose my nerves. “It tastes like liquefied rat anus.”
“Whatever,” he grunted.
“Listen, Tim. Our teacher - Mr. Osidipe- put us in pairs, then he cut the assignment date by a week. I’ve got a few days to get it done. I’m under a lot of stress, I can’t even sleep because of all this shitty library coffee I’m living off, and then I come home to this?” I shouted, “Half the time you’re pissing about on games or smoking weed with Jim and his group. It’s not like I’ve been out clubbing and getting shit faced!”
“Well, how do I know you haven’t, eh?” he barked again.
“Because I never get to anyway!” Now I was really getting pissed off. I couldn’t understand what this all was about. “Everyone on fresher’s week was out getting wasted, getting laid… having fun!”
Tim stared at me with his enraged eyes.
“And what have I done?” I questioned, “Followed my boyfriend to a college I didn’t want to go to, to do a course I didn’t want to do!”
Tim stood up from the desk angrily, “Fine then!” he shouted, “You wanna go out and get wasted? Go - do it! You wanna go out and fuck every guy under the sun? Go - do it! See if I fucking care!”
I’d never before seen Tim so angry before. I knew that before he met me, he’d been in a few fights, and once had a violent streak, but he’d never raised a hand on me nor threatened me. Backing slowly away I reached for the door handle, before leaving the room and marching off down the hall and out of the building.
I stormed across the quadrangle and straight into the student union. Perching myself upon a stool, I ordered a vodka and coke and threw it straight back before ordering another. Suddenly, a deep warming voice came from behind me.
“Guessing you couldn’t sleep either, right?”
I turned to see Nathan smiling warmly.
“Yeah,” I tried to laugh whilst choking back a sob, “that coffee, eh?”
Nathan pulled up the stool next to me. “Jesus Cara, what’s happened?” he asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s Tim,” I explained, “we had a big fight.”
“Was it serious?” he demanded, peering compassionately through those big brown eyes.
“He’s been distant lately, and I’ve been so caught up with this assignment. I just had to get away from it all.”
Nathan ran his hand down my arm. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I looked up at him; his arms were strong and comforting, his eyes full of understanding. I wanted to throw myself forward, wrap myself in those arms and just stay there, nestled in his safe calming hug.
“Come on,” he smiled at me, “I’ve not had a drink yet, let’s go for a drive.”
We drove out about fifteen miles to the shore, parked up across from the beach. The beaches around here were nothing to write home about; littered with cigarette butts and stones –and of course, the occasional broken bottle - but the view was breathtaking.
“I come out here now and again just to unwind,” Nathan said quietly.
“Yeah, I bet that’s what you say to all the girls.”
“I sure do,” he laughed. “Makes me sound deep and complex, doesn’t it?”
“More like tacky and contrived,” I chuckled. “But I can’t deny, it’s a hell of a view.”
“Yeah the light pollution out here is so little you can see more stars.”
“Oh, really?” I asked with the interest. “Which constellation is your favorite?”
“Erm…” Nathan shrugged. “That horse one? Is there a horse one?”
“Probably.”
I looked out at the stars; he was right, you could actually make out the band of the Milky Way from where we were sitting, even through the glare of the windscreen.
“So,” he asked timidly, “Do you think you’ll patch things up with Tim?”
“I hope so,” I said honestly. “We’ve been together for three years. I don’t want to throw that all away.”
“I see your point. But is that all you’re basing it on? Just because something is old doesn’t necessarily mean it’s more valuable. Just because something’s new, doesn’t mean it’s special. I mean, you guys must have been together since secondary school. That’s the time when people change the most. You will have changed and so will he, that’s part of the beauty of life. Our personalities are not static, but ebb, flow and grow with time. There is beauty in the temporal.”
“You’re beginning to sound like Mr. Osidipe!” I laughed but deep down I knew he was right.
Nathan smiled, gripping the wheel, and looking out across the horizon.
“But part of growth is knowing that things won’t stay the same forever,” he continued, “and if your personalities become incompatible, then things simply won’t work, and you’ll resent your partner for holding you back… for failing to let you change.”
I nodded, noticing Nathan’s strong jawline to move as he spoke. “I know what you mean. Everyone had such a good time at Fresher’s week. Everyone went crazy, but all I did was sit in the corner with Tim. No crazy sex, no drunken mistakes, just a few fake laughs and a few more early nights. Not that I crave them...but...you know...we are young and ought to have some fun.”
“Well, at least you have someone to join you in your boredom.”
“Are you kidding me?” I raised my eyebrows. “I’ve seen you come into seminars yawning and smelling of booze; I bet you’re out there every night fucking everything that moves.”
Suddenly, Nathan’s face took on a somber tone.
“Actually, I spend most of my nights drinking alone in my house,” he explained, “Sometimes I drive out here and just sleep in my car, then drive to lectures the next day.”
Nathan’s face dropped, as he looked down at his hands.
I reached out, grabbing his face and pulling him toward me, my desire overwhelming my worries. He gripped me tightly by the hair, pulling my face into his as our tongues intertwined with growing intensity.
Tim. Our presentation. College. None of it mattered in that moment.
Without breaking our kiss, I climbed across the car and onto his lap, his fingers running through my hair as I caressed his strong shoulders and pectorals; clawing at his chest with my nails. Nathan ran his arms up my back, unhooking my bra and tearing off my top. I could feel the heat growing in my pussy as I grounded against his crotch, noticing his cock getting hard in his jeans, pressing against the cloth, begging for release.
He grabbed my wrists tightly, pulling them behind my back, pushing my breasts outward. Softly, he circled my nipple with his tongue, before gently sucking it in his mouth. I gasped as he lightly brushed his teeth against my nipple, biting down gently. My pussy was getting hotter and wetter with anticipation. At once, he released my arms from behind my back, and I pushed him back against the driving seat, reclining it entirely. I gripped his shirt pulling it over his head and admiring his toned and sculpted stomach. I kissed his neck, running my tongue down his chest toward his naval, before unhooking the belt from his waist and pulling his jeans down.
His cock throbbed with anticipation as I grabbed it tightly, thinking it was slightly thicker than Tim’s. I brushed the thought away from my head as Nathan’s ha
nds snaked down my body. I spread my legs as far as possible, allowing him access to my pussy.
Gently, he ran his finger across my clit, which grew in anticipation. Slowly, he slid one finger only slightly inside my pussy, using the wetness to rub my clit. My breathing heightened as his finger began to rub faster and faster. My moaning became louder and louder as I began to grind myself against him, masturbating his cock in time with him rubbing my clitoris.
He slid one finger inside me - deeper this time - then withdrew it and inserted another. Then, pushing both fingers inside me at the same time, he began to massage my G-spot whilst teasing my clitoris with his palm. I felt the wetness spreading down his hand before finally, I could take it no longer.
After I came, Nathan gently pushed me to the side trying to reach the dashboard drawer. He opened it and after a moment fished out a condom. I smiled at him while tearing the package apart, then I took the protection out and skillfully fitted it on his growing erection. Gripping his cock, I moaned deeply as I slid down on it fully. Pinning his hands down, I began to move up and down his hard shaft.
I felt his hands running up my breast, squeezing them lightly before making his way to my neck, gently kissing it. It didn’t take long and I came hard for the second time, as I bucked against his cock, soaking him with my juices. Nathan moaned hoarsely signaling me that he was coming too. When our orgasm faded away he looked deeply in my eyes. I couldn’t bear his gaze. I wanted to run away.
***
When I returned home later that night, my room was empty. Tim had taken his stuff. He must have moved to his room down the hall to sleep. I guess that was for the best. As I sat alone in the dark, ugly feelings began to surface. Once the initial orgasmic high with Nathan had worn off, a creeping guilt had taken its place.
I fell into the cold bed, gripping the pillow tightly and sobbing deeply. All I could think about were the times Tim and I’d had together. Sneaking beer out of his dad’s garage to drink at the park, setting off fireworks and nearly burning his mom’s house down, the nights when we’d just sit on the roof and watch the sunset. The thoughts, memories, and dreams we’d had; I’d spoiled them all.
Eventually, the exertion from my sobbing brought me to an uneasy slumber.
I woke up next morning. There was a beautiful bright day outside but I just felt so miserable. I turned on the tap; the water spat out aggressively as I filled the sink. I looked in the mirror; my eyes were puffy and smeared with makeup. My cheeks appeared red and my hair tangled and knotted. I looked like shit; I felt like shit, and I deserved to feel like shit. I’d cheated on my boyfriend and irreparably destroyed my relationship.
As I looked into my bloodshot eyes, I wondered; had I done it on purpose? Perhaps I’d deliberately sabotaged my relationship because I was unfulfilled. Maybe I’d fooled myself into believing I had feelings for Nathan just so that I could make a mistake like that? After all, when I first met him, I’d found him brattish and arrogant.
No. That wasn’t right. Nathan was a good guy. He just came on strong because he was vulnerable. Really, he was lonely. And now, what must he think? After we’d finished having sex, all I wanted to do was to leave; go home and get as far away from him as possible; as far away as I could from all that guilt. He probably went back to his empty house and wondered what he’d done wrong.
Why did things have to be this way? Why couldn’t you love one person without hurting another? I loved Tim, but his life was so intertwined with mine that I didn’t even feel like I was living my own life anymore. I’d lost the freedom to act or even think as I pleased. And deep down, I knew he felt the same. I’d seen his subtle looks at other girls; I’d even seen him look at a few guys once or twice, but I just brushed it off.
As the sink filled, I turned the tap off and splashed the water on my tired face. It was time to confront the reality. It was time to shower. Time to go to lectures and seminars. And most importantly, time to tell Tim the truth. I resolved right there and then that I wouldn’t lie. I would tell him straight away. Rip the band-aid off in one swift, painful movement.
I showered. I dressed. I walked down the hall to Tim’s room and knocked on the door three times. As soon as he opened the door, I looked into his deep warm blue eyes; soft eyes, which I’d come to love over the years. I expected his face to be full of anger, resentment, hatred, but instead, his eyes were full of welcoming smile. This was going to be harder than I thought.
“Cara,” he said softly, “I was worried.”
He pulled me into his room, closing the door behind us, and wrapped his arms around me tightly. My stomach twisted up in knots of guilt, as my face became hot.
“I’m so sorry for shouting at you,” he whispered as he held me even tighter.
I couldn’t take it. I pushed away, tears flowing uncontrollably from my eyes.
“I slept…” I stuttered, “I slept with Nathan. And I’m so sorry.”
I wiped away my tears, looking Tim in the face. The warmth from his eyes faded entirely. His face was suddenly blank and dulled with anger. This was the face of a man whose entire world has just been crushed.
At once, he shoved me, opening the door and marching away. I balanced, shouting after him. “Tim! Where are you going?” But he didn’t turn just marched down the halls.
“I have lectures to attend,” were his only words.
I closed the door and broke down on the bed, his scent still fresh on his sheets causing new tears to flow uncontrollably from my eyes. But after maybe an hour, I realized that I would do no good to myself if I just spent the rest of day locked in this room and crying. I made a mistake and I confessed everything. Now I could only wait to see how things would turn out. Meantime, there were the course and classes I needed to attend. So I returned to my room to pick some textbooks and headed to the school.
I held back tears and tried to steel myself as I made my way to lectures. Maybe listening to Mr. Osidipe to talk about Criminological theories would take my mind off the events of last night and this morning. As I was walking toward the lecture hall, a pretty brunette approached me.
“Cara?” she asked, with a hint of urgency in her face.
“What do you want?” I retorted impolitely. But right then I wasn’t really in mood to talk.
“You’re Tim’s girlfriend right?” she asked, a disturbing concern appearing on her face.
“Probably not anymore,” I muttered.
“Well, I’m Rachel, we have some of the same classes together.”
“Right.”
“Listen, Cara, you need to go and find Tim right now. He stormed out of the lecture hall with a look of murder in his eyes. When I asked where he was going, he said he needed to ‘collect a debt’.”
I freezed. Tim was not a violent person. Or that’s what I kept telling myself. He wouldn’t hurt Nathan. But then, he’d had a history. I decided to rather find them before anything bad could happen.
But I didn’t need to search for them for long - the shouts from behind the corner alerted me to their presence. I pushed through the crowds to find Tim, who was dragging Nathan across the ground, ready to swing his next punch into his face as the crowd stood around in awe.
I rushed over to Tim, gripping him by the arms.
“Tim! Stop this! Please!” I pleaded with him.
Tim turned to face me. “Oh, you’re coming to his aid now?”
“Tim! For Christ’s sake! What the fuck you think you are doing? Have you forgotten the night at Harley’s?!?” Reminding him of the night when he was arrested after a brawl at the local club seemed to have an immediate effect.
“What do you want Cara?” he spat out but he appeared to be calmer by now.
I looked at him, my eyes welling up with tears.
“Can we at least go somewhere private to talk this through?” I implored. “Let’s not make a scene.”
***
As the door clicked shut, I twisted the lock to ensure there’d be no intruders. The classroom was empt
y, and the schedule on the door showed there would be no classes for the rest of the day. Tim seethed as Nathan stood -a sorry state- before him, blood dripping from the bottom lip.
I placed myself between the two of them.
“Please, no more fighting,” I pleaded desperately.
“I wasn’t fighting Cara,” Nathan grunted. “He attacked me.”
“You fucked my girlfriend!” Tim shouted.
“Please, guys!” I begged, holding my hands out wide. “This is all my fault. If you have to blame anyone, blame me!”
Nathan looked down at the ground. “No Cara,” he said softly. “This is my fault.”
Tim peered across skeptically at Nathan.
“I could have stopped it,” Nathan continued, “but I didn’t.”
“So could I,” I said, looking at Tim. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, Tim.”
Tim sighed deeply, putting his hand over his face.
“No Cara, I should have expected this,” he responded, looking at the ground. “I’ve taken you for granted and the only reason we’re both on this course is because I screwed up. All I thought about was what I wanted. I never thought about what you wanted or needed, I just assumed you’d always be there.”
Nathan looked over at Tim sympathetically.
“Well,” Tim continued, “I guess I lost you to a better man in the end.” And he nodded over to Nathan.
Taming The Billionaire Page 41